“No matter what you said, I’ll still be at the baby breaths field. That means, I’m not planning to forget about anything.

So when you are feeling better, please come to the baby breaths field. Tell me about everything. I’ll be waiting.

I love you, okay?”

…

A weak nod and a chocked “I love you, too” were the only things Myungsoo got a week ago in front of Su Ji’s house. Here, he was now, under the big tree, looking at the horizon, waiting for a shadow which would turn into one figure he had always loved.

And at the seventh day after she was gone from his sight, lost into the ground of luxury, lined by the gate he could never perished, Myungsoo’s fantasy was printed into reality.

Wind ran towards her presence like they missed her just as much as Myungsoo missed her. The wind played with her hair, sneaking through her soft black hair and caressed her in every gentle way possible. Su Ji was wearing a white dress with pink lace leaned before her knees; soft wool sweater was there to keep her warm and she walked towards Myungsoo together with Myungsoo’s smile.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“Feeling better?”

“Not at all.”

“Mind to share?”

“I think I owe you that.”

…

“You know about my father bankruptcy, right? The reason why we moved here,” Su Ji began in whisper.

“Hm,” Myungsoo replied with small nod.

“It’s not a complete disaster,” Su Ji trailed. “It’s nice here. My father still able to afford our living cost. The air is fresh, the people is nice. The view is beautiful and there’s even a baby breath field, here.”

“And we met,” Myungsoo trailed.

“And we met,” Su Ji echoed firmly.

“But there’s a better place.” Myungsoo chocked.

“There’s another place,” Su Ji fixed. “There, everyone fret will ease. Everyone will be able to live. They will actually live, not just wasting their time to sacrifice everything for my sake. They’ll be able to live their life...”

“And you’ll meet someone else,” Myungsoo continued.

And Su Ji couldn’t fix anything from his sentence.

So she added, giving an excuse for herself, “He is Dr. Lee’s son. My father and Dr Lee is an old friends. They grew up together. Actually, I don’t think we could make it without him. When my father business went bankrupt, the thing he concerned the most was my treatment. It’s possible for us to live in countryside, eating potatoes or corn and tea, living a simple warm life. But the cost for my treatment would keep rising. And there’s where Dr. Lee comes.

He said he was too old for to be a full time public doctor. So he retired from it and chose to become my personal doctor. He even agreed to move to the country side with us. He said, this is his way of enjoying his aging. Living in a warm village, with beautiful scenery, and he still could do his lifetime duty, saving people.

Saving me.

Saving my family, to be exact.”

“He is not that old,” Myungsoo responded, recalling the man he met at his first meeting with Su Ji, the doctor who only seemed a few years older than his father.

“I know, right?” Su Ji gave Myungsoo a small chuckle. “It’s only an excuse, I believe. Maybe because he grew up with my father, thinking this the right time to help each other. Or maybe he was just trying to run away from the crowded life of human, wanting to find his own peace here with us,”

“But…” Su Ji trailed. “He is getting older now, year by year. One day, he could no longer be my doctor. That’s why this new place… will be the answer for me and my family vague future.”

“Will it be far? We can visit each other sometimes, right?” Myungsoo asked, trying to change his way of seeing it.

“It’s America” Su Ji chocked out bitterly and it crushed all the positive thought Myungsoo had just built a few moment ago. Myungsoo stiffened, completely sure that he was now was a pale as Su Ji. But before he could voice his frustration, Su Ji continued, “There’s a vacancy there for my father. They are interested at my father’s working experience. They job is not a though one, but it needs to be done by someone with an experience like my father. We don’t need to worry for living then.”

“And?”

“And, Dr. Lee’s son is there. He is in university, studying about medical. He will take care of me. He wants to.”

“He wants to.” Myungsoo echoed in whisper. “Do you want to?” Myungsoo shot in bitter, somehow, almost sounded too bitter.

“Well,” Su Ji chuckled. “It’s America. I’ll see many great places there. Everything will look like magic. The people, the building. How can I refuse that kind of grand place?

Myungsoo knows America, right? It’s not in Asia. I’ve learnt about it. We need to cross the ocean to get there. We’re in East. America is in West. Can you imagine that? Everyone speaks English! My English is not bad. I can master it then. Can you speak English Myungsoo? It’s interesting, right?

Oh yeah! The technology there is awesome! It’s like a different era there! But there’s also many historical place. Do you know any historical place there? Well, I did some research. There is..

Wait. Give me a minute. I remember some places, but now I kinda forget..,” Su Ji strayed but still continued.

Well, there is this building… wait… oh yeah! We have…”

“I don’t want to know!” Myungsoo suddenly cut out. “I don’t need to know any place there because I won’t be there! I know America. So stop talking about that damn capitalist country! I am not a medical student, heck; I’m not even a university student. My English will be nothing compare to that rich medical student. But I know what America is. I know, so stop talking about it because I don’t want to hear anything about it!” Myungsoo shot in raised voice.

“I’m sorry.., I didn’t mean it like that… You know, I…”

“I don’t know Su Ji. I don’t know.”

“But I thought you could understand me more than anyone else!” And this time, it was Su Ji who raised her voice but then it crooked by her own desperation and sadness.

“How could you expect me to understand Su Ji? I asked you whether you want to be there or not, and you didn’t give me any answer! If you ask me what I got from that, is that you don’t want to go there!” Myungsoo complemented then stopped.

He continued then with a lower tone yet worse feeling, “And if you don’t want to, why should you go, Su Ji? Why should you go to somewhere you heart don’t like to be? What’s wrong here?

Everything is fine, here. Just like you said, the air is clear, the person is nice, the scenery is beautiful, and there’s… me.

Nothing can hurt you here…”

“Myungsoo that’s not the problem…”

“I’ll do better… I have no money now. You know how poor my family is. But I’ll work harder. I’ll think of a way. I’ll take care of you. Even tough I don’t like to study, I’ll study for you. I’ll study so I can teach you more about the world. I’ll take you to many places, not the luxurious one, but the beautiful one. I can’t promise you wealth, but I won’t let you be in misery even just for a second.

 I’ll do better Su Ji.”

“Myungsoo, nothing is wrong with you… I love you.”

“Then why is it so easy for you?” Myungsoo pierced.

“It’s hard for me too, Myungsoo! You have no idea how hard it is for me!” Su Ji cried in disbelieve.

 “Then what should I do? Tell me, what you want me to do!” Myungsoo then again, complemented her cries.

So Su Ji ended their war of cries with one soft beg,

“Let me go, Myungsoo. Help me to make it easier by letting me go.”

…

“Where are you going, Myungsoo?” Mr. Cho called for the boy who just delivered his Friday Dinner on his regular table on the corner of the simple comfortable restaurant. Only one portion tonight, that was odd. There should be more food for Myungsoo and Myungsoo should have sat with him by now.

“I’ll pass tonight,” Myungsoo said, turning his back to face Mr. Cho. Myungsoo was not in the mood to speak, no, he was not in the mood to listen.

“Something happened..,” said Mr. Cho while Myungsoo was looking to the clock, counting how long would it takes until the closing time. He was really not in the mood to listen to anything right now, not even the order from the customer.

“I just don’t have appetite tonight,” Myungsoo reasoned, not a complete lie. He really didn’t have any appetite, but that was not the appropriate answer for Mr. Cho question.

Wait

Myungsoo snapped, right after he reasoned.

Mr. Cho was not asking. ‘Something happened’ he said; and that was not a question.

“I’m really in the mood to talk right now,” Mr. Cho chuckled. “And I think my mood is even bigger than my hunger. So why don’t we take a walk for a bit tonight? I’ll have some bread while we are walking then,” Mr. Cho firmly decided. He took a sip of his drink, then grabbed for a plate with breads on it. He stood up from his seat and walked pass the dumfounded Myungsoo.

As Mr. Cho reached for the exit door, Myungsoo had no other choice but to follow Mr. Cho.

Really, he didn’t feel like to hear anything right now.

…

“I’m sorry if I’m being rude, but I’m really not in the mood to listen either to speak right now. I may lose my temper, so I think I should get back to help at the restaurant right now,” Myungsoo confessed, breaking the silence after their five minutes walk. Mr. Cho had just finished his first bread then.

“If that’s the case, I think it’s better for you to be here with me and lost your temper here, then for you to be there, and lost your temper at the customers,” Mr. Cho answered before he took a bite of his second bread.

Myungsoo stopped there, not even trying to think for another excuse, so he just followed Mr. Cho small steps, and actually, kind a feeling guilty that Mr. Cho ended up having two loaf of breads for his Friday Dinner, and to think that he had it while walking.

“You want us to take a sit there for a moment?” Myungsoo suggested, referring to the empty bench a few steps from them. Mr. Cho agreed, so they sat there until Mr. Cho finished his not so comfortable dinner with Myungsoo; in silence.

…

They began to walk again after that, tracing the quite street under the shining star, too dazzling for Myungsoo right now.

“Su Ji,” Mr. Cho started, and for a second, Myungsoo thought that it was him who said those words. “She once told me that she wanted to prepare a bento for you, but she doubted that you would like it because your family has the best cooking here and she felt that you wouldn’t like her cooking.”

Mr. Cho was not talking about that one particular subject, Myungsoo thought. And of course, he would like it no matter how it felt, he thought again. She should have made that bento, now they wouldn’t have anytime to share bento, he thought. And he thought for several things beside that, and he thought, then he thought, but didn’t voice.

“She told me you often bring her foods from the restaurant. She loves it so much,” Mr. Cho continued, so Myungsoo started thinking about her sweet expression every time she tasted the foods Myungsoo brought for her.

“She was so happy when she was allowed to go to normal school. She told me, she was very happy because she could experience what you had experienced before. She felt that she could understand about you more and she promised to do well in school so you would be proud at her.”

This time, Myungsoo thought about the time when Su Ji showed off her uniform a few days before her first day of school. What a happy face she had back then. Then how happy she was every time she talked about school.

“And she told me that she found out that you were really smart. You could answer even the most difficult question.”

Now Myungsoo thought about how he got back to study every night so he wouldn’t forget what he studied years ago, only so he could be there every time Su Ji needed a help.

“But she said that you didn’t really like to study.”

Yeah, Myungsoo thought. When he was still in high school, he would only study when he was in class or a few hours before the exams. But now, since there was not school anymore, studying was his only choice to keep his memory about all those lessons.

“She told me that you have another thing you like.”

Oh, that was right, Myungsoo realized. He told her once he loved to draw. She was one of the few.

“You used to be so excited every time I told you anything about her,” Mr. Cho suddenly said, breaking the chains of Myungsoo thoughts.

Of course he would, after all, it was Su Ji, Myungsoo answered; inwardly.

 “She is too. You know, both of you have the same sparkling eyes every time you hear or speak about each other. There would be this overflowing feeling and easing smile, and there is this beautiful string that connected everything about both of you.”

Not really, Myungsoo mocked, almost chocked it out. Almost.

“Oh! I remember about this one particular evening,” suddenly Mr. Cho said in high excited voice. Too excited, Myungsoo didn’t think he could bear to hear an excited voice.

No, he still didn’t bear to hear anything. But Mr. Cho still continued though,

“There was this one day, Su Ji came home after meeting you, I suppose, her face used to be pale, but that day it was like a blooming Sakura, and she had this really beautiful expression, a sweet smile, smiling eyes, blushing cheeks, and I thought that I had never seen her as happy as that,” Mr. Cho paused, lost of words on how he should describe how breathtaking Su Ji was back then.

But Mr. Cho didn’t really need to say anything more, Myungsoo understood already. He understood how beautiful Su Ji could be. Mr. Cho seemed to know it, so he continued on his story,

“So I asked her what could have made her so happy. Then as honest as Su Ji had always been, she told me in the sweetest voice I have heard from her, Su Ji told me,

“Mr. Cho, I am in love with Myungsoo.”

Myungsoo stopped thinking.

…

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