“Can't sleep?”

Jinki opened his eyes and saw Kibum standing by the bed, hugging a pillow. He gave a slight smile and nodded his head. There was a brief silence until Kibum pushed Jinki lightly, and the university student took the sign to roll to the other side of the bed, his right shoulder coming in contact with the cold wall.

“How did you know?”

“Although your eyes are closed, your feet will be fidgeting like crazy. Old habit of yours whenever you're having trouble sleeping.”

“Old habits die hard,”

Kibum nodded his head, probably agreeing silent as he lay on the empty space beside Jinki on the bed. That certainly brought back a lot of memories. Jinki smiled unknowingly when he was reminded of them.

“Remember when the three of us managed to share a single bed?” Jinki smiled. “When Minho's crush rejected him.”

Kibum sighed at that memory. The tall and quiet buddy of him had repeatedly told Jinki and him that he was fine, and it was not as if being rejected by someone he likes meant the end of the world. Kibum did agree with what Minho said, but apparently no one could actually feel completely fine after getting rejected. Jinki knew, Kibum knew too.

Minho was lying on the bed, thinking about how he got rejected in the evening when Jinki and Kibum hopped onto the bed. Of course, the actor tried to kick them off the bed, but both Kibum and Jinki held onto Minho like their lives depended on him. Jinki held onto Minho like a koala bear while Kibum literally just hugged him so tightly that the actor could suffocate.

They started ranting about how things was going to get better as time passed, and Minho would eventually find a new person. Minho insisted that he was fine, but his buddies just turned deaf at those three words and continued hugging him, repeating how Minho should remember that he still had this two midgets to take care of. Eventually the three of them fell asleep after an hour, with Minho tightly hugged by both Jinki and Kibum by his sides.

“That was, urgh. I don't think I will ever do that again.” Kibum shook his head in distaste. “Clinging onto someone like a koala bear and calling myself a midget. I was even using words like 'you still have us'.”

Jinki guffawed at the memory of how the both of them were telling Minho not to throw them away, these two midgets away as they tightened their hugs on him.

“Oh , I was really screwed up during the high school period-”

“What if I got rejected by someone I like now? Will you do that to me?” Jinki flashed Kibum a bright smile. “Like how you hugged and clung onto Minho while saying all those reassuring words gently.”

Kibum rolled his eyes.

“I'll kick you in the and feed you to the dogs.”

After laughing for a short while, both of their eyes were staring at the ceiling. The room had it's lights off, but apparently dawn was approaching and the sky wasn't that dark anymore. It was bright, and the faint sunlight shone through the windows into their room. There was short pause, until Jinki decided to speak.

“Kibum ah, we were lying like this, gazing at the stars when we first met each other.” He muttered under his breath. “We were always sitting or lying on this blue mat. Whether if it's drawing, eating, looking at the stars or listening to what he has to say.”

And before Jinki knew it, he was smiling already.

“You read Juliette before, right? When the boy always carved what was on his mind the most of the day onto his wooden wall.” He grinned brightly when he saw Kibum nodding at the corner of his vision. “Jonghyun did that too, just that he carved them on the wooden bench in the church, once every week.”

As Jinki shifted, he could feel Kibum's really cold hand brushing past his. Kibum was never one to tolerate coldness, and the constant cold-air contributing air condition wasn't helping much either. Both of them were too comfortable to even more, and Kibum just wanted to listen more about Jonghyun from Jinki.

“We held hands,” Jinki admitted as he continue to stare at the ceiling. “Like it's really natural.”

“You-what?”

Kibum felt Jinki's warm hand holding his own cold ones, and lifting it up so that Kibum could see.

“Like this, Kibum.” He shook their held hands. “We held hands like this.”

It was then Jinki realized the difference of how it felt between Kibum and Jonghyun. With Kibum, it was totally comfortable and he felt just like he was holding a hand of someone from his family. With Jonghyun, it made his heart skip a beat and they would end up holding their hands even tighter due to nervousness.

There was no response from Kibum, he was probably drifting into sleep after the issue of his cold hands was settled.

“Good night, Jinki.” Kibum managed to mumble in his sleep.

Jinki just smiled and looked at the poster on his left afterwards. He couldn't really see Jonghyun very clearly, but he could remember exactly how it looked like. The bright smile, simple and comfortable clothes.

“But Kibum ah, I haven't told you how I'm confused about Jonghyun and I.” Jinki shifted his vision away from the poster to the wall next to him. “I don't know if we are still friends or beyond that.”
 

-

Jinki hummed to a fast-beat song of Jonghyun's album as he watched the traffic light turned green again. His eyelids weighed like stones after sleeping for less than fours due to the night before. Kibum gave up driving Jinki to school due to his lack of sleep too, and Minho offered to drive Jinki to the university instead of him since the designer had work.

“University, how is it?”

“Pretty tiring. You miss school?”

“Kind of, since I've stopped attending since years ago.”

“Minho ah,” Jinki smiled as he turned to look at his friend, who was an actor already. Years ago, Kibum and he would have never expected it due to his incredibly quiet personality. “You've changed. You talk a lot more now.”

The actor had a faint smile and nodded his head. In the past, it was so hard to get a long sentence out of Minho. He was just so quiet, sporty and loved books. Every girl in their school thought he was the perfect ideal guy, and his locker was never empty; love letters were all stuffed inside.

“With my job, naturally I will have to speak more.”

“That's a good thing, Minho ah.” Jinki sighed. “Do you know how hard was it for me and Kibum to get you speaking years ago?”

Minho laughed at the memory while Jinki continued about how far both of them went to get Minho telling them what he would like to eat for dinner. They sat opposite of Minho, and stared at him patiently, waiting for his answer. And it took about ten minutes of silent staring at each other before Minho finally said that he wanted to have ramen. Kibum made a huge pot of ramen that evening.

“We almost wanted to throw a celebration party that evening when you said 'It'll be great if we could have ramen', you know?”

Jinki caught a glimpse at the huge banner at the side of the road when Minho stopped the car for the red light. It was Jonghyun, and Jinki found himself smiling unknowingly. He was being happy for Jonghyun, for that he was being so successful in his career since the singer really deserved it, for the great voice he had.

“So, Jinki ah,” Catching the look that was on Jinki's look when the university student looked at the banner, he was reminded of a question he had for Jinki as he stepped up on the engine when it was time to start moving again. “You're still confused?”

The university student turned and raised an eyebrow questioningly, not getting what Minho was trying to say. The actor just let out a short chuckle, before shaking his head at how slow Jinki could be at getting things.

“Yesterday night, I wasn't asleep. I heard what you said after Kibum fell asleep.”

It was then Jinki remembered that Minho was sleeping on the mattress next to the bed the night before, and he widened his eyes immediately when he finally digested what Minho said earlier in his mind – he wasn't asleep.

“M-Minho ah, it's nothing much-”

“So what are you confused about?” Minho turned a deaf ear to Jinki's weak attempts to change the topic. “Must be something serious enough to have you having difficulties to sleep the night before.”

Jinki exhales deeply as he leaned back onto the cushioned seat, knowing that every war with either Kibum or Minho would end up with him losing. It was pretty much useless to hide; actually Jinki didn't even know why he wanted to hide in the first place. Wouldn't it be better if he snap out of his denial and just tell his best-friends that he - ...

He... what?

At that moment, the images of Jonghyun's hand holding onto his tightly flashed in his mind repetitively. It warmed his heart a little at that thought, but the later thinking chilled it all down. Jinki found himself sighing again.

“I don't know, Minho.” Jinki turned a little, so that he could see his friend who was driving clearer. “If I'm actually good friends with Jonghyun or, just -” He paused for a short while. “Beyond that.”

Minho just nodded understandingly like he always did, and Jinki blinked in surprise when his actor friend had this really light smile that was easy to overlook if you didn't look carefully.

"So, both of you are in an ambiguous relationship now." 

"Ambiguous?"

"It would be too fast and too much to say that both of you are actually lovers now." Minho felt his phone vibrating in his pocket - a message came from Kibum. He could tell from the designated ringtone."And to say that both of you are actually friends, it's weird. When both of you held hands so naturally and probably-"

"Minho, we did not kiss. Definitely not."

Jinki insisted, seeing a familiar building coming into his vision. The thought of him and Jonghyun being lovers were suffocating - no. He didn't hate it, just he was just not prepared, he was just not used to it. It's just too complicated and he could predict that his heart would sink if ever, Jonghyun said that they were only friends. But he did mentally slapped himself when his cheeks got warmer when he realized Minho was assuming that they kissed.

"Fine, it's soon to come anyway."

Minho predicted as he stopped the car, and Jinki could only gape at his tall best-friend. Kibum's personality really influenced Minho in more than one way. Minho just laughed at the way his best-friend was staring at him, and waved him goodbye, signalling the university student that they had reached their destination. 

-

And when Minho watched Jinki entered the gates of the university, he smiled at how even the book-loving and introverted Jinki had finally gotten a crush.

"Worried?"

"It's good to see Jinki finally finding someone he likes, and everything is progressing real well for him," Kibum stirred the soup that Minho bought for him on the way back home. "I swear I don't have anything against that Jonghyun guy who sings high pitch like it's so easy. I just hope their language barrier won't be an obstacle to them in the future. Jinki won't be strong enough, I predict."

"You are worried."

Minho concluded and Kibum rolled his eyes. 

"Aren't you worried?"

"I have worked with Jonghyun before, and I can say that he's a nice person." Minho took a small bite at the tuna sandwich which was still warm. "And regarding Jinki, I guess even if they really don't work out in the end, Jinki needs to understand and not cry like the world's ending. Then he will get stronger."

Kibum rested the spoon at the side of the bowl, his appetite gone at the thought of Jinki not working out with Jonghyun, and his best-friend crying like the world was ending. 

"Maybe they should learn a new language together." Kibum suggested, and Minho looked at him, pretty much amused. "Mandarin...? French, Italian, or just anything. They can learn a new language together."

"When Jinki is already having problems learning Korean which we had no problems picking up within two months? He will lose more sleep."

Kibum sighed. 

"I knew Jinki was losing sleep yesterday because of Jonghyun," Kibum crossed his legs and sat up straight, watching his friend who was still eating the sandwich, despite him being troubled over here. "I forgot to bring up the topic when Jinki started to reminisce how we clung onto you during the past, when you got rejected."

Minho furrowed his brows; that memory wasn't all that nice to him. 

"... Midgets?"

"Shut up." 

It wasn't totally nice for his friend over here too.

A few weeks afterwards, Kibum was finally near to finish his last batch of clothes. The house was still full of laughter like always, and especially Minho's ones when he saw the shocked look on Kibum when Jinki admitted that he didn't have Jonghyun's contact number. But it was useless for them to have each other's contact numbers anyway, it wasn't as if it would help them communicate better. Jinki seriously couldn't read Korean characters. 

And as usual, he gazed at the beautiful and gorgeous starry stars with Jonghyun lying by his side, but the only thing different was probably their hands which were never forgotten to be held tightly together. Sometimes, Jinki brought food over, and Jonghyun would draw on his sketchbook. On rare times, Jonghyun would be in the church with a guitar, trying to compose songs as Jinki sat by his side, listening to whatever Jonghyun was singing attentively. 

-

"Lee Jinki, how long has this clothes I made for your boyfriend been in this bag?"

Kibum rolled his eyes in defeat. He couldn't believe that Jinki totally forgot about this outfit that he had made for Jonghyun out of his friend's constant singing of the half-blonde's songs. 

"I-I totally forgot about that!" Jinki immediately jumped up from the couch out of surprise, and quickly sprinted into his room, pasting a sticky note onto the wall to remind himself to give Jonghyun the outfit this Sunday. Minho could only raise an eyebrow at how Jinki didn't even protest when Kibum just said that Jonghyun was his boyfriend. 

There was a long silence as everyone returned to what they were doing.

"Kibum ah...! He's not my boyfriend!"

-

At Saturday, the news of Jonghyun injuring his ankle alarmed Jinki more than anything else. He panicked, and shook Kibum a lot of times while repeating if Jonghyun's career would be affected worriedly. He knew how much Jonghyun loved music, and singing. If his career was affected then wasn't Jonghyun going to be...? God, he panicked so much and kept pacing around the house. He wanted to rush to Jonghyun's side so much to see how was he, but he didn't know where and how.

"The song he's promoting now needs dancing doesn't it?" Minho forgot that Jinki was in paranoid mood.

Kibum spent five minutes throwing pillows and anything at Minho when Jinki started to get worked up and freaked out again.

It was raining when the Sunday that Jinki anticipated so much came. It didn't stop him from placing the visit to the church above all of his priority, and this time he remembered to slip the outfit into his bag after reading the pink sticky note on his wall. He was happy that he could finally see Jonghyun again, yet he was so worried; he wondered if Jonghyun was coping well with his injury and wait. 

Was Jonghyun even able to come to the church this week?

Jinki pushed everything out of his mind when he entered the church, and saw Jonghyun sitting on the bench nearest to the door, water dripping off the tips of his colored hair. He was badly drenched and Jinki widened his eyes when he saw the white bandage of Jonghyun's ankle was wet too. 

He rushed towards Jonghyun, his mind going blank when the singer looked so despondent. His eyes were avoiding Jinki's one, and he just looked so dejected and feeling desolate. Jinki felt his heart sinking the moment Jonghyun forced his tears back when their eyes met after Jinki kneeled down before him. The university student quickly grabbed hold of the singer's hands that were usually warm, and squeezed them, trying to console the singer. Jonghyun looked so stressed, and depressed.

"Jonghyun," 

Maybe it was how soft and comforting it sounded when Jinki said his name that had Jonghyun's tears falling almost immediately. He had never seen this side of Jonghyun before; he was always smiling in the past like everything was cheery and bright. He felt his heart clenching, hurting, as his hands cupped Jonghyun's cheeks which were trembling slightly due to either the coldness, or the crying. Jinki muttered Jonghyun's name out softly again, and found himself crying silently too, at how upset Jonghyun was.

Jinki's tears were wiped away gently by Jonghyun, and Jinki could see his handsome features laced with guilt, as if he was guilty for making him cry. Jinki's honey orbs were looking up into Jonghyun's ones comfortingly, as he felt the singer's shivering hands running through his brown hair lightly, before settling at his nape.

Jinki was pulled closer to Jonghyun by the cold hand which was settled on the back of his neck, and it didn't take too long until Jonghyun kissed his forehead gently before holding Jinki tightly in his arms.

-

Jinki rolled the blue mat out as he reminded himself constantly that Jonghyun was changing out of his wet clothes to the ones that Kibum made behind him. He feared that he, being himself, would forget that the singer was changing and turned to have both of them feeling nothing but awkwardness afterwards. After sitting on the edge of the mat, he looked at the bench which both of them cried at earlier. Not to mention-

He heard some crumpling sound that was usually made when someone was on the mat, and turned to see Jonghyun lying on the blue checkered mat, wearing the clothes that Kibum had made. It fit him perfectly, and Jinki knew his friend was just great in fashion design. He snapped out of his thoughts when his name was called, and saw Jonghyun patting the empty space beside him with a slight smile. At least Jonghyun was smiling already, Jinki self-noted while lying beside Jonghyun. And after several shifting and moving so to get themselves comfortable, Jinki found themselves closer than ever.

Jonghyun's chin was barely touching his forehead, and he could hear the singer's steady heartbeat from the close distance between his face and Jonghyun's chest. Jinki's arms were awkwardly joined together, elbow touching elbow, his hands covering the bottom of his face slightly. Jonghyun's arms were carefully placed on his waist, and Jinki ....

Were they cuddling?

Jinki's eyes widened as the color pink tinged his cheeks at the thought of that. 

Jinki was pulled closer to Jonghyun by the cold hand which was settled on the back of his neck, and it didn't take too long until Jonghyun kissed his forehead gently before holding Jinki tightly in his arms.

Did Jonghyun just kiss him on the forehead? 

Oh, . Stop thinking about that already.

Jinki wanted to curse his mind for always being so uncooperative, but instead he found himself outstretching his fingers, wanting to cover his blushing face as much as he could.

It almost looked like he was the only one that was panicking and behaving like a frantic chicken here, because Jonghyun's breathing and heartbeat were steady and relaxed. Sometimes, Jinki thought if he was over-reacting a little way too much, or perhaps Jonghyun didn't even think much. Jinki's hopping heart sank a little at that thought, but his confused mind was later interrupted by Jonghyun's sudden speaking.

He spoke softly and calmly, and as his legs shifted Jinki's shin could feel the dry white bandaged on Jonghyun's ankle that he had changed for him earlier. There was tint of sadness in his sentences, and mostly stress. Jinki closed his eyes when Jonghyun's hand suddenly moved to his brown hair, running his fingers through them just the exact way before. The voice of Jonghyun was always so soothing and relaxing, Jinki had realized that since they had first met but this time, it was exceptionally soothing. He didn't know if it's because they had both cried together earlier, or Jinki had fallen more for Kim Jonghyun.

Jonghyun's voice seemed to get softer and softer, and before Jinki could feel how tight Jonghyun had his arm wrapped around his waist, he fell asleep.

Morning in the church was something that Jinki had never experienced before, since he was always in the church during the night time. The moment he opened his eyes, he squinted his eyes from the sunlight to scan around the whole church, surprised at the huge difference. The church looked so beautiful at the moment, and majestic when the sunlight was shining through all the painted windows. 

He smiled to himself as he wondered how it could be more majestic than this pretty view in the church, at the morning.

Jinki stretched his legs a little, only to widen his eyes when he knocked onto Jonghyun's ones on accident. He had totally forgotten that Jonghyun was just right beside him, he had forgotten that he stayed overnight in the church, he had forgotten that he was just sleeping right beside-

He heard a soft yawn and he lifted his head to see Jonghyun's orbs which was looking at him gently. 

"Good morning, Jinki." 

Jonghyun smiled brightly while Jinki could only find himself stumped for words. 

A morning with Jonghyun right beside him was more majestic than anything else he had seen, he was sure.