Hyuna’s POV:

   “A day off is such a priceless present for me. Hahhhhhh!” I exhale as I put my legs on the table in the living room and put a handful of chips in my mouth. No one is home and this whole dorm belongs to me. I flipped all the channels but there is nothing to watch, “Cable TV is !”, i throw the remote control away. Not knowing what to do, i turn on the laptop and type “change” on youtube, sometime I watch it to remind myself of the hard time when the pressure, the loneliness and the fear were too overwhelming to the point that i almost cried every night even being so exhausted from all the practicing. It was such a bittersweet memory.

  I’m watching the live performance when Junhyung comes out and we tease a little bit. He was pretty y back then, I have to admit it. We did look good together, didn’t we? Despite everything we have gone through, he really supported me a lot. Like a brother. Or at least that was what I thought when we started working together, but little did I know that i gradually fell in love with that guy. I always know that my fans did smell something between us but I was never brave enough to dig it out. How about now? Two years had passed since the day his relationship with Hara went public and i guess i’m strong enough, am i? I quickly type “Hyuna and Junhyung” and i'm speechless to the point that i usually shriek when i'm shocked. Jesus, there are tons of videos about us. My eyes bulge when I see videos under the name “Hyuna/Junhyung moment”, I gulp as i click to watch one of these. Sweat is running down through my brows. The video is about us in the event Idol star athletics championships in 2010. I hit Junhyung coz he ran really badly and we bickered a little bit. Forgetting about how on earth people could record this, I smile at the blonde guy and remember about old days when i and he were truly happy with each other before we messed up… I shake my head, no, i’m not gonna start another cry session. All the pain is over now, I just watch those things because of the curiosity. I tell myself that and click to another one, the video no 13. Ah, it was in Dream concert 2010. I was supposed to dance with Junhyung but in the last minute I switched with Gayoon and danced with Kikwang instead. Seeing them got intimate and Junhyung didn’t seem to bother at all really annoyed me so I made the wave with Kikwang to piss him off but I ended up humiliating myself. After that unnies kept bringing up the topic how-hot-Hyuna-with-Kikwangie-was in a sarcastic tone. Oh god, so embarrassed just to think about it. I skipped some videos and decide to watch the video no 25-The asian song festival ceremony. The only thing crossing my mind right now is that Junhyung looked particularly handsome that day. There were thousands of people there including my unnies and Beast oppas but all I could see was him. Just him. Watching the video makes me realize how admirable my gaze toward him was and then his face…ggh…I really want to wipe the cocky smile off his face. I bet he smirked at me fangirling over him. The video no 28 is next - The music bank year end event. My heart starts racing as I see the shyness written all over his face. My eyes literally pop out. Junhyung the joker… knew how to be shy? Of dancing with me? I reminiscent the rehearsal day that I- the sulky girlfriend ( Yes, we officially dated for a month or so) decided to act cold toward her boyfriend coz he said “you-are-so-annoying” to her the previous day but since I stood behind him I couldn’t see his face like that, if I had done I probably wouldn’t have been able to hold the mask. A smile plasters on my face. “You were really cute with that shy face, did you know that oppa?” i mumble , brushing my finger against his face on the screen. What the hell are you thinking Hyuna? Aren’t you supposed to forget all about him? I decided to turn off the laptop but i…just can’t. All the moments that fan – a really obsessive one captured about us are just so tempting. And then still in a daze, I click to video no 35. The creator made the comparison about us in 2010 with 2011. Oh well, I can explain the coldness. As if I really need to. The airport thing was after our first fight. A HUGE one. He was 2–hour late in our date and when I called him, he said he didn’t forget but he was just “too tired” to tell me to cancel it. I exploded and threw any harsh word I knew into his face, that wasn’t the first time he stood me up and I just couldn’t bear it anymore. The war began like that. We tried to act normal at the airport to not gain attention from our managers but it was really hard… The Yumi Katsura fashion show is in the next video. I’m kinda impressed by this fan. How could he or she (I highly doubt it was a she) could see through all Junhyung’s “ninja skill” (I learn this word from fan actually)? I’m laughing really hard now recalling how he managed not to be caught staring at me. Unfortunately, he felt and I threw back at him with the look honey-I-know-I’m-mesmerizing-but-just-don’t-be-too-mesmerized-ok? Teasing him was just  purely entertaining. I click to video no 39 as I see the still picture of it. The special stage of Cube family in Inkigayo held in August 2011, two months after “it”

“How could you cheat on me with my bestfriend, Junhyung?”. “How could you?”

The tears was falling down non-stop as I hit him hard…

“Everything was set-up by Hong president to promote our new album. He has an agreement with her company, I couldn’t disobey him. You have to trust me, babe, no one knows about this even my members. ”

He wiped my tears away and hugged me tightly.

“I only love you” 

…

But little did I know it was the last time I heard those words from him.

 …

“why didn’t Hara tell me about the fabrication?”

…

I ignored the sympathetic looks from others. I acted as if the scandal didn’t affect me. But it did…

I tried to be with him as much as I could coz I was so scared of losing him…Somehow I did hope someone captured us onstage like in the said clip, I wanted to let the world know about me and him.

The most daring attempt was from Change performance at UCC...

, …It was such a long time since we sang this song together. I was too enchanted by him that I forgot to dance and just gripped on him the whole time, I didn’t even care if we were too obvious. “I miss you”, I whispered into his ears at the end of the song and he just smirked...

Following him all over the stage, Kim Hyuna, How pathetic you were!!!

Everything went ugly after that. Ignoring text messages. Quarreling more often.Refusing to go out. Stopping saying good night. My nightmare was coming true.

“Let break up!”.