ye..yes ...

with that one word, we were bound. the next day came and somehow he was reading a book that belongs to me... then another day came. Day by day more books are borrowed, more time spent and somehow that smile became very frequent. i never talked much but he could understand me. We would meet up at a coffee shop and exchange books to read, hours passed silently and yet he was still smiling. He would drink his coffee while it was steaming hot and occasionally caught my eyes which was quietly sneaking a peek at his face. Weeks passed, and there we were just silently reading books for hours a few days a week. Then it just felt so natural, no words were uttered but every single second passed felt warm. at some point i even started to wave at him when i saw him walking into the coffee shop, then he would react like as if the moon just dropped and make this big smile on face.

"Jen..jenny.. erm *smirk* at first i thought that you were a cold person, but because of my curiosity i still hang out with you.Now i know that you're actually quite warm. it's a bit weird but even when you're not talking i can sense how you felt... it would be nice if we keep doing this..i mean .. you know ... read books together... haha somehow reading books here like this with you makes me feel peaceful. so..."

somehow after hearing him say that, words started to flow smoothly down my lips. then i realized i finally warmed up to this person. i told him, looking down to my coffee cup that the feeling is mutual and that i wouldn't mind meeting him like this. my heart were filled butterflies and happiness, so much that i started to worry. But this time... i decided to let go and let this flow.. i told myself, maybe it's time for me to stop holding back..we were meeting quite frequent after a month of hanging out at the coffee shop, i started to talk too. Not much but enough to brought smiles on our faces.my phone that used to be silent started to ring, my inbox were filled with his short messages. A few pictures of us together were also pasted on my diary, but still there was this uneasy feelings inside me. this feeling as if they were warning me, that i have let go too much that there was no control over my emotions. Funny enough, every time those warnings came lingering in a short text or a call from him would come and put all those nervousness to sleep. my heart were trapped and there was no exit....

His image came sneaking in whenever i close my eyes, the way his hair sweeps perfectly over his forehead, his expression after a sip of hot coffee on a cold rainy day , the way his simple grey sweater fit perfectly with his bright red trench coat.... that smile every time our eyes clashes and how his long lashes slowly flutters when the wind is blowing.. everything was vivid and crystal clear. But just like a snowball these feelings were getting bigger and obviously my heart was getting greedy.I yearned more and more for his presence.....

Until that day came, when my greed swept me over my judgments......that moment where i said something that i would never believe i could utter ...no even imagine...

Can you stay by my side... and smile only for me?? Alex.. can we.. be more than just friends..................?