Sometimes I feel like I applied for the wrong major. I'm taking Biomedical Sciences and it's all cause of a drama that I watched when I was 13. I had a dream ever since then to cure people of their diseases which is why I took that course. But now that I'm in that course, I realise that it's really competitive and I feel like my dream is nothing compared to them. As a result, I lost motivation and I still am. It has been 2 years and I'm drifting in this course, barely passing all my modules... It doesn't even help that my school uses the laptop for everything. Our tests are on the laptop and we have open book tests which really aren't as easy as it sounds...

I also hate how people react when they find out that I like Kpop. All of them immediately think that I'm a crazy fangirl who's obsessed with her oppas which I really am not. I love their songs and admire their perseverance for doing something that they like. But that's just about all. People even think that I want to learn Korean which really isn't the case for me. I'm actually learning Japanese and when they find out, they give me this, "You're a Kpop fan who's learning Japanese? Whut." I'm tired of being judged and I try really hard to not get affected but it gets tiring at times. :(

It feels so good to have it all off my chest. ^^ Thanks for listening.

Hey there sweetheart!

I think it’s really admirable that you had a passion since you were thirteen and wanted to save lives but it’s not abnormal to lose passion or feel out of place where you are. You obviously have the smarts to get into such a high profile and difficult course so feel proud of that fact alone. Of course everyone is competitive, that’s the way of society today but ask some of them and I can assure you that not one hundred percent of people want to be there out of the good of their hearts. They want money, status and respect which is something I don’t feel you work for. Don’t be discouraged by the competitiveness. However, I think that you may feel guilty for achieving your own success just because you feel people may have a stronger drive to do so. Don’t feel accountable for other people’s lives, focus on your own and do what you want in the most honest way possible.

However, if you really don’t enjoy the course and you really do feel it’s boring or something that you don’t like, then switch. I know it’s probably going to make your parents mad but there’s nothing worse than being stuck in a career or course that you don’t feel any emotion for. If there is no drive,, you will never succeed in that field and those people you are trying to save deserve everything you’ve got because lives are irrevocably valuable. Don’t do something if you hate it, I know a certain friend who did medicine and loathed it but finished his course anyway out of pressure from his parents and to save face. In the end, he had no idea what he was doing, misdiagnosed people so bad that his patients found him a joke and in the end, ended up back in university finally doing a course that he felt truly passionate about. Save yourself the effort and time if you really do feel like that.

About the kpop thing, just ignore those narrow minded peasants. If you think about it, we all believe that Justin Bieber or 1D fans are incredibly immature and stupid teenage girls which is often not the case. I was a Belieber at one point in my life and got judged so hard on it, it only made my feels stronger. You can’t stop people judging you just as you can’t stop yourself from judging others. Of course it’s tiring so just stop caring. It’s your life, not theirs do whatever the crap you want and be happy. Don’t let them get to you.

- Love, Jonghyun ♥

(Author ramblings: There’s a youtuber that you may or may not have heard of called Lindy, or better known as Bubzbeauty. Her story is a pretty inspirational one, and this is not only directed to you but a lot of my other readers. She started pretty low, in a hard-core Asian family with incredibly low self-esteem until she undermined herself to a point where she just didn’t bother to study. She underestimated herself and went to a university that was of a lower standard as compared to her grades (she studied really hard in senior year) and did a course on packaging and design which she utterly loathed. But she continued anyway well because, her parents were pressuring her and she felt useless and pretty goddamn useless. She’s now doing what she wants and is so much happier, she’s such a positive influence and all so I really do suggest you watch some of her inspirational videos. And if you like make-up, well she has loads of tutorials for that as well as hair. This one bubbly girl got me through a pretty rough time so maybe check her out? Oh and she’s a kpop fan too, more specifically Big Bang XD. GUYS REMEMBER TO DISABLE READER MODE SO YOU CAN SEE DEM LINKS)