I remember the first time I have ever had . It was the only time I have ever had .

It was two weeks after my first day and I roamed around the corridors and classrooms alone, trying to ignore the snickers and insults that were subtly thrown at me. I don't really mind being alone. In fact, I preferred my own company better than anybody else's. It was easier for me that way. I didn't have to entertain others, I didn't have to seem likable or interesting, and I didn't have to laugh at jokes that weren't even funny.

That's partially a lie, of course. Being alone isn't all that wonderful. Sometimes, it feels lonely. Depressing too.

Kim Jongin, also known as Kai, who was so popular that he was practically royalty around here, was throwing a huge party at his house. It annoyed me a bit how it was all anybody in school could ever talk about.

"Oh my god, I am so excited! What are you gonna wear?!"

"Have you seen the size of his house? My garage is like, the size of one of his bathrooms or something."

"I'm going to get so wasted at that party, it's not even funny....."

"This is so major. I can't believe he invited me!"

"I think he invited everybody, Min....."

I rolled my eyes for the 14th time during English class. Nobody was even at least bothering to pretend that they were listening to the teacher, who was obviously desperate on trying to get everybody's attention. The constant babble of the mindless teenagers around me was all I could hear, unfortunately.

I felt someone tap my shoulder from behind. I turned around, and was faced with Mr. Kim himself. He was leaning against his table, propped p on his forearms. He had that smug, arrogant look on his face that had seemed to be permanent, because I never saw him without it. All day, he had been basking in the buzz and excitement his party had created.

By the way, I meant what I said. Nobody talked to me unless it was absolutely necessary. I was often left alone when it came to group projects, so I had to do all the work completely by myself. Kai, however, was a different matter. Unlike everybody else, he seemed to find my ability to lie intriguing, instead of appalling. Also, he seems to like flirting with me in particular. I admit, he was pretty gorgeous, but I've just always ignored his suggestive and knowing comments. Partially because it was all just a game to him and I knew better than that to take it all seriously, and partially because I didn't really know how to respond. I hardly ever talk to people, let alone flirt with them.

People didn't really give Kai a hard time nor did they let off any violent reactions about him socializing with me. Like I said before, it was all just a game. Nobody took it seriously, not even me. I knew exactly what he was doing. He wanted to see if he could woo every girl in the entire campus, even the psychotic . In fact, everyone found it hilarious.

"So, you are coming tonight, right?" he asked, that smirk never wavering

I shook my head. "I was never invited so, no." I answered dismissively. I made sure that my voice wasn't within earshot from everybody else.

"Well, now I'm officially inviting you. Now, can you come?"

I met him squarely in the eye. "No."

He raised an eyebrow in response. "Why not?"

"Because I don't want to."

"Oh come on, " he leaned down so our faces were literally only inches apart "Come to the party. Please?"

I glanced around nervously, trying to slow down my rapidly beating heart and wondering if anyone noticed us. Nope. We were right at the very back corner of the room, and they were all too busy chatting loudly to the person next to them. Jesus, I thought, just how can they all be oblivious to this ual harassment?!

"Is that a yes?" his eyes met mine, arrogant and amused. Our faces were a breath away from each other. My eyes widened in surprise, and his scent overpowered my senses. I suddenly found it difficult to breath.

Thankfully, the bell rang, loud and ridiculously annoying, making me jump. I leaned away and shakily stood up to gather my books. I could already hear my own heart pounding in my chest. "Maybe." I mumbled quietly, partially hoping that he didn't even hear what I said. I didn't even look back behind to see whether he did hear me or not. I shook my head, trying to decipher exactly what emotion was currently racing through my veins.

As it turned out, I did end up going to the party, and it . It's a wonder why people even liked parties. It was loud, cluttered, crowded, chaotic and highly inappropriate. I hid out on a corner in one of the massive kitchens spread across the mansion. Yeah, it was a mansion. That's how big it was. The smell of alcohol and sweat along with the ground-shaking thud of the music was making me nauseous. I had no idea why I decided to come, but I was quickly realizing that it was a bad idea.

Later that night though, I learned that it probably wasn't as bad as I thought it was.

I took a deep breath and got up from where I was sitting on the floor. Mustering up all the courage I had, I pushed through the giant crowd of drunk, teenagers. After being d, stepped on, pushed and -slapped, I finally managed to reach the not-so-crowded corridor leading to the front door. As soon as I did, I nearly collapsed in relief. This place was disgusting!

"I knew you'd come." a voice said from behind me over the loud crash of cymbals. I froze. Some idiot decided to put Breaking Benjamin on, and people grinded to it as if their life depended on it. I bet that nursery rhymes could be playing and they'd still grind to it. Those people would grind to anything, I tell you.

If I had to, I would put myself beside you.

So let me ask, would you like that?

Would you like that?

"Yeah, I was just about to leave." I said, hastily walking on the remaining steps as I reached for the door handle. I heard rushed footsteps behind me, and a pale arm shot through my vision and gripped my hand.

"Don't go." Kai said tightly. Slowly, ever so slowly, I turned around to meet his gorgeous eyes.

And I don't mind if you say this love is the last time.

So now, I'll ask, do you like that?

Do you like that?

His gorgeous face was strained, showing absolutely no arrogance or smugness. Not even a hint of intoxication, much to my surprise. His dark eyes were staring intently into mine, stress and pain hiding behind their depths.

I did a double take. "What's wro----"

I didn't finish my sentence because he had already reached down and kissed me. Hard.

Something's getting in the way.

Something's just about to break.

I pulled back harshly, unable to believe what he had just done. "Kai---"

His hand fisted my brown hair as he mashed our lips again, taking out whatever anger he felt into a kiss. This time though, I didn't pull away. He bit my bottom lip in response.

I will try to find my place

In the Diary of Jane

So tell me now how it should be

It was the first time I'd ever been kissed. It felt indescribable. I got over the shock quickly and held onto his neck as if it were my lifeline. His hands slid down to my hips, gripping it with bone-crushing strength. It should have hurt, but strangely enough, I couldn't feel a thing. Not when his lips were taking possession of my mind. I didn't care that we were in the middle of a party. I didn't care that I was just about to leave. Everything suddenly fell away.

Try to find out what makes you tick

As I lie down, sore and sick

Do you like that?

Do you like that?

He roughly pulled away, breaking the incredibly long and intense kiss. We were both breathing harshly. Without saying a word, he grabbed my hand and led me up the stairs. I didn't protest. I willingly followed him, blindly stumbling at a few steps.

There's a fine line between love and hate.

And I don't mind. Just let me say that I like that

I like that

Once we managed to drag ourselves up the long staircase, he pushed me against the nearest wall. I greedily met his lips, high on whatever emotion that was making my blood burn and my head reel. It was frying my brain. A wave of white and hot electricity washed over the both of us, and he kissed me so hard that I could already taste blood. I didn't know whose it was, and honestly, I didn't care while his hands continued to run aggressively on my body.

Something's getting in the way

Something's just about to break

I wrapped my legs around his waist. Without breaking the kiss, he started walking as I followed him. My back hit a hard surface but this time, he opened the door as we went inside. That night was a haze of images. I don't exactly remember every detail though. All I remember were the important details. Smooth skin sliding across one another, lips and tongues tangling, hungry dark eyes, and the aggressive sound of music over the walls that seemed to match our pace.

Oh, and the unforgettable sensation. Lots and  lots and lots of it.

In other words, it was mind-blowing.

I will try to find my place

In the Diarrhoea Jane

W-Wait a minute. Diarrhoea Jane? Did I just hear that right?

"How are you today, Krystal?" Officer Kang asked gently, sitting across me on the long, black table associated in the tiny room. There was a huge mirror on my left, where I was sure that my mother and the rest of the officers were watching me with eager eyes. I sat still, not wanting to seem suspicious, even though I wasn't.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you asking? Wouldn't you rather just get to the point?"

"It's polite to start a conversation first."

"Yeah, but you didn't ask me to come here to just have a chat. With all due respect, Officer, get to the point already."

He just heaved a sigh. "If you say so." his gentle expression then turned serious "Krystal, were you telling us the absolute truth the last time we questioned you?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. I hated it when people talked down to me, police officer or not. "Of course I was."

"Are you sure?" he continued "We've gathered a lot of evidence from the school that you are quite the....well...."

"Liar?"

"....dramatic type when it comes to choosing words." he finished, making me roll my eyes. Why was he speaking so calmly to me? Shouldn't he be cold and harsh, like those officers on CSI?

The answer hit me seconds later though. I was a kid. Officer Kang thought that gently coaxing the answer out of me would work. That just made me more annoyed. "That's a fancy way of saying 'liar', and you know it." I snapped

His lips twitched in response. "If you say so."

I gritted my teeth. "Yes, I was telling the truth then and I'm telling the truth now. I saw them at the back of that alley."

"That's the interesting part." he said, looking down at the papers in front of him "We managed to ask a few questions to the owner of the pharmacy and the employee who was working at that time and neither of them ever mentioned noticing two teenagers behind the shop."

"I know what I saw." I snapped

"I'm sure you do." he assured me "But there's a bit possibility that you've accidentally gotten something wrong."

I frowned. "I saw them, okay?" I cried. "I'm not lying! I even heard them arguing with these!" I exclaimed, pointing at my ears "I'm not an idiot."

"No, you're not, and you never mentioned that they were arguing."

I bit my lip immediately. Crap.

"Krystal," he said, slowly "You need to tell us every single thing you saw. I cannot stress that enough. You are the only real lead we have in this case. We have found nothing yet. No bodies, no fingerprints, no culprit. More and more people are getting frustrated. Choi Sulli and Lee Taemin's families need answers, as soon as possible."

I blinked, hesitated whether I should give details out. Do this for Taemin. I thought to myself as I finally looked up to meet his eyes. "Okay....fine...." I sighed "....I'll....I'll tell you everything I know."

That was a lie, by the way.

He nodded in return. "Good. Thank you." he smiled "Now start from the start. Exactly what happened at the back of that alley?"

I closed my eyes and thought back to exactly that moment, describing everything that was happening. How I was walking out of the store with a bag of 'feminine hygiene supplies', what they were fighting about, how pissed off both of them looked, and how Sulli stormed off. Officer Kang was listening intently, writing everything down on a notepad. "Do you remember what they were wearing?" he asked

I frowned, thinking back. "Come to think of it, yeah.....Taemin was wearing a leather jacket, I think? And jeans. His shirt said...." I paused, closing my eyes, willing myself to remember the glimpse I had gotten of his shirt "...The South Will Rise Again. It was indigo."

I opened my eyes and saw him nod. "That's good. What about Sulli?"

I frowned again. "She was wearing....some sort of dress. I think it was silver, and heels....." I recalled the sound of sharp stilettos thudding furiously against the pavement. I sighed, and sunk back against the uncomfortable chair. "....and, that's it."

He hummed in acknowledgement,, his right hand still scribbling. He finished and put the notepad down. "Thank you so much for your help, Krystal. We'll contact you and your mother if we ever need anything else and if you remember anything else, absolutely anything, you call me, okay?" he said, handing me a small card which had his personal number as well as the Police Department's.

I nodded in response and we both stood up, walking out of the room together. My mother was waiting outside and as soon as she spotted us, she jogged forward and said "Is everything alright?"

"Everything's been sorted, Ms. Jung." Officer Kang said, giving her a reassuring smile, his eyes lingering on hers.

My mother swallowed and reached for my hand. "Good. Can we go now?"

"Of course." he smiled again. "I'll walk you two down to the front desk. I'll let Officer Park know that we've finished."

We all walked together in silence and I watched my mother out of the corner of my eye. The atmosphere around her seemed to buzz with electricity. Interesting. I thought. That never happened on the way in. After maneuvering through the many rooms and corridors, we finally reached the front desk. Officer Kang let go of the hand he slightly placed on my mother's back, and her posture slumped.

.

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