The strong rays of sunlight that penetrate through the window startle Wooyoung from his sleep. He blocks the light with his hand before opening his eyes. He winces at the strong light once he’s completely up. He yawns while rubbing his eyes. He turns toward the other side of the bed and watches the empty spot.

“Nichkhun is up already?” he talks to himself. Wooyoung stretch his body one last time before getting up and make up the bed. Wooyoung then prepare himself for work. Once he’s done he walks out of the room. He is shocks to be greet by Nichkhun immediately after he close the door to the room.

“Morning Wooyoung.” Nichkhun greets happily. Wooyoung smile toward Nichkhun.

“Good Morning Khun, you’re early today.” He said.

“Come, wait here. I’ll make you a breakfast.” Nichkhun said motioning Wooyoung to enter the dining room. Wooyoung look at him guiltily.

“Ooh Khun, You shouldn’t. It should be me making the breakfast.” Wooyoung said feeling guilty. Nichkhun just smile.

“I don’t mind doing this for you Wooyoung.” Nichkhun said confidently. Wooyoung just sighs before taking the seat on one of the chair.

Wooyoung sits while watching Nichkhun busying himself preparing the breakfast. He smiles weakly. It has been almost a year since he starts living with Nichkhun after Taecyeon’s death. Wooyoung winced at the memories of the first few months. His life had turns completely upside down during those times. He recalls how his cousin Chansung mention how much he looks like a living skeleton. Wooyoung’s quite agree with Chansung statement. Who can blame him, he can barely eat. The food taste dull to him. It’s not just the food, in those times his waking hours were accompanied with repeated panic attacks. The panic attacks making him exhausted, however he don’t have the choice to rest properly since his sleeping hours always been disturbed by constant and intense nightmares that made him ends up being awake again. In short Wooyoung can conclude it was hell. He was grateful that Minjun suggested for him to stay with Nichkhun since living in house was pure torture to his broken self. Even until now, Wooyoung still tremble each time his hands touch the door handle to his house. He chuckle bitterly at that fact. If he trembles touching the door handle to his house, he can’t imagine what will happen to him when he touches the door handle to his room…to their room. Wooyoung feels small pain in his heart. He rubs his chest slowly to ease the pain and he sighs.

“Why are you sighing Wooyoung?” Nichkhun broke him from his reverie. Wooyoung smile a little.

“I’m just worried that the pancakes you’re making for breakfast will taste weird.” Wooyoung said jokingly trying to hide the real thing from Nichkhun. Worrying Nichkhun is the last thing he wants to do right now.

“No way, it’ll taste good. I have a good teacher, remember?” Nichkhun said confidently. It seems Nichkhun didn’t catch anything suspicious. Wooyoung smile relief.

He has been better after that. The supports that he gets from everyone push him forward; break him from the vicious circle he gets himself into. Wooyoung remember the therapy session he had with Minjun, how Minjun shone light to his seemingly dark future.

“Wooyoung, it’s bad for your health if you keep on living like this. Remember, you have many people that love you. Your parents love you. They’re constantly worried about your health. You hate making your parents worried right?” Minjun asks him. Wooyoung nods weakly.

“…and how about Jieun? She’s been crying everynight everytime she came to visit you. She looks like panda right now and she’ll hate you because you make her ugly…”Minjun jokes. Wooyoung chuckle a little.

“She’ll always find reasons to be angry with me hyung.” Wooyoung speaks in soft whisper. Minjun smiles at Wooyoung words.

“Chansung also worried about you…he’s eating less than he used too.” Minjun continue.

“Channie did?” Wooyoung asks weakly. Worried clear in his voice.

“No need to worry about him Wooyoung. It just less one chicken than his usual two or a normal looking rice bowl than his usual mountain.” Minjun comments casually. Wooyoung chuckle lightly.

“…and Junho keeps on complaining. It’s not that big of a difference Channie, he keeps on saying.” Minjun said while mimicking Junho.

“…and you know Chansung, just being the brat he is keeps on complaining I only eat one chicken Nuneo, and I even skip eating my banana. Seriously Chansung and his banana…” Minjun said knowingly. Wooyoung giggle a bit.

“Both of them are cute.” He comments.

“There’s also Nichkhun. He’s constantly worried about you Wooyoung. He once told me he’s afraid to sleep afraid that he might not be there when you need him.” Wooyoung smile bitterly at Minjun explanation. He’s aware of that. Even the slightest sound he made will make Nichkhun running to his aid. Wooyoung feels guilty toward Nichkhun. That’s why he tries his best to look fine, to be fine.

“You must also remember about Taecyeon’s parent. They see you as their child. They had lost one of their child, you don’t want them to lose another one, right Wooyoung?” Minjun asks. Wooyoung nod strongly.

“…and last but never the least, Taecyeon… the person that means everything to you…do you want him to see you look like this Wooyoung? It’ll kill him seeing you like this because you know that hurting you was, is and always be the last thing he wants to do.” Minjun speaks weakly. Wooyoung nods lightly. Tears come streaming down his pale cheek.

“I know…but it’s hard hyung…it hurts too much...he’s always there with me…for years…I’m used to his presence…and now…he’s gone…forever…he won’t come back…what should I do hyung?” Wooyoung breaks down. Minjun just walks toward Wooyoung and hugs him tight, leaving him crying himself to sleep.

“Remember, we’re always here for you…we won’t be going anywhere.” Minjun whisper slowly.

Wooyoung sighs again at the memories. Nichkhun looks at him questioningly.

 “Remember they’ll always be there for you…” Wooyoung repeats to himself.

“You’re taking too long, Khun…I’m getting hungry.” Wooyoung complains with a pout. Nichkhun smile looking at Wooyoung action.

“Just a bit more and then I’m done.” Nichkhun convince him. Wooyoung just nods and wait for Nichkhun patiently.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

Nichkhun is skipping happily on the way to his office. He has been in a great mood this few months. His relationship with Wooyoung has improves a lot. They have become greatly comfortable with each other. Sometimes Wooyoung will do some cute act when they’re just two of them. Nichkhun pretty sure that Wooyoung do the cute acts without his realization, (hell he looks cute even when his blinking), but Nichkhun won’t complain; Wooyoung is doing it when it’s just two of them and he’s the only one seeing that, what more can he ask?

“Good morning.” Nichkhun said cheerily toward Junho once he arrives.

“You look happy. Something happen?” Junho asks curious.

“Not much, just another good day.” Nichkhun remember how Wooyoung praises his cooking that morning.

“Iftss…dwilichooos….” Wooyoung said with full mouth.

“Really?” Nichkhun asks excited. Wooyoung nod enthusiastically.

“u shooop cook mor…” Wooyoung continue talking.

“I can’t understand you Wooyoung.” Nichkhun just chuckle when seeing Wooyoung action. Wooyoung eat everything before he talks again.

“I said you should cook more. You’re good. Maybe we can cook together?” Wooyoung suggest suddenly. Nichkhun watch him with wide eyes.

“Maybe we can be a good partner Khun.” Wooyoung said excited.

“Partner?” Nichkhun asks timidly.

“Why does it sound so good to his ears” Nichkhun thought

“Yeah, we work well together.” Wooyoung said again.

“Together…” Nichkhun blush at the words. Nichkhun smiles widely at the memories. He is beyond happy. They continue doing their usual work when suddenly Junho break the silent.

“Khun…” Junho calls Nichkhun.

“Hurm.” Nichkhun replies without raising his head.

“When will you confess?” Junho asks curious. It’s been going on so long already. Junho thinks Wooyoung is more than ready now. Nichkhun’s feeling toward Wooyoung is so obvious that everyone notice about it. Even the usually slow Chansung can detect the different gaze Nichkhun give to his Udong. Junho thought it’s a good thing since it’s no longer a secret to everyone except the person of interest. Junho was curious about Wooyoung. He seems perfectly normal about it like he doesn’t realize Nichkhun’s feeling toward him.

“But it’s impossible. Khun is too obvious.” Junho thought. He notes to himself to ask Chansung about that later.

“I don’t know. I’m happy as it is right now.” Nichkhun answer sincerely before continuing his work. Junho just watch Nichkhun silently, feeling amused.

“As long as he’s happy, you’re happy too, huh?” Junho thought to himself. He feels amused how someone can love others that sincere.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Junho was watching TV when the door being open. He watches as Chansung come in with a wide grin, huge plastic bag full with something inside on his hand.

“I’m home.” Chansung greet Junho happily. Junho eyes the plastic bag questioningly.

“What’s that?” he asks curious.

“Food…lot of food. Udong said he’s doing some experiment with Khun and apparently I’m going to be his food tester.” Chansung said proudly. Junho sighs.

“Now I know why Khun smile like that earlier.” Junho comments casually. He then get up to help Chansung unpack all of the foods.

“At least I don’t have to worry dying of hunger as long as I know these two.” Junho thought to himself seeing the amount of foods they got. He sighs watching Chansung grinning from ear to ear.

“Hey Channie…” Junho try to break Chansung from his momentary paradise.

“Hurm…” Chansung answer not really paying attention.

“Hey, I’m talking to you.” Junho said and pull Chansung’s ear a bit. That got Chansung attention.

“Oww…Nuneo…don’t pull my ear.” Chansung stop what he was doing and turn all his attention toward Junho.

“What do you want to talk about? He asks.

“I’m just curious…” Junho starts. Chansung just keep silent signalling Junho to keep going.

“You’re aware that Khun’s in love with Wooyoung right?” Chansung nods agreeing.

“Minjun hyung and Jieunnie knows too.” Chansung answer casually.

“…but, what make you curious, Nuneo?” Chansung asks back.

“Well it’s pretty clear for all of us, but how about Wooyoung?” Junho state his earlier concern.

“Udong? He probably doesn’t have a clue.” Chansung answer knowingly. Junho frown slightly. Chansung catching Junho’s action continue.

“Udong’s obliviousness is serious. If Nichkhun want Udong to know, he has too told him straight to his face.” Chansung explains simply.

“If that how Taec hyung confess to Wooyoung? I heard that he’s the one that fall in love with Wooyoung first.” Junho asks wants to know more.

“They fall in love almost at the same time. At the hospital if I’m not mistaken. Taec hyung took more drastic measure. He kisses Udong in their school library until Udong’s lip bleed.” Junho eyes widen, completely amuse.

“It’s not a shock that Taec hyung is bold, but being that bold just wow.” Junho thought.

“But Channie, how do you know this? You’re not even there right?” Junho asks confuse.

“Jieunnie told me, she was so shock by Taec hyung action that her face turns completely white when she told me. It’s funny you know.” Chansung laugh at the memories.

“But Channie, how are we going to help Khun? I don’t think asking Nichkhun to kiss Wooyoung is a good idea.” Junho state his worries.

“Khun needs to confess first, because I think kissing will just freak Udong out.” Chansung state his opinion.

“That’s the problem; Khun told me that he’s happy with what they are right now.” Junho whine.

“Then let him be, sooner or later when he’s ready, he’ll tell him. I’m sure of it.” Chansung said confidently. He rubs Junho back to assure him. Junho relax at the touch.

“Now, why don’t we continue unpacking this stuff so we can start eating?” Chansung said while turning back to what he’s doing earlier. Junho just shook his head seeing his best friend childish behaviour.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Nichkhun open his eyes slowly when he feels the spot next to his is empty. Over the time, Nichkhun has gotten accustomed of sleeping with Wooyoung next to him. He gets up and squint his eyes around his room searching for Wooyoung, afraid that he hid at one of the corner having another nightmare. To his relief Wooyoung is not shivering in any one of the corner. Suddenly a rustling sound comes from the kitchen. Nichkhun smiles become wider. From the sounds he knows that Wooyoung is perfectly fine. All the time Wooyoung lives with him, Nichkhun learns about Wooyoung habit to wake up early and cooks on a whim. Nichkhun get off from the bed. Eventhough Wooyoung wake up early, it’s rare for Wooyoung to wake up earlier from Nichkhun. Nichkhun walks to the bathroom to freshen himself up before surprising Wooyoung.

Once he finishes doing all the necessary stuff, Nichkhun tiptoe towards the kitchen. When he arrives, his nose catches the sweet scent of a chocolate.

“Is Wooyoung baking a cake? But for who?” Nichkhun wonders and try to remember everyone birthday. Nothing comes to his mind except…he gasps when he remembers something.

“Wooyoung…” he calls slowly. Nichkhun waits for several minutes but Wooyoung doesn’t give any response. Wooyoung seems like he’s in a trance.

“Wooyoung…” Nichkhun try again and walks closer but to no avails. Wooyoung just sit on one of the chair staring directly at the oven. Nichkhun decides to watch Wooyoung silently. After several minutes of complete silent, the oven given out a sound signalling that the cake is done. Nichkhun watch as Wooyoung pull out the cake and place it on the counter top. Wooyoung then move toward the fridge and pull something out and start mixing. Nichkhun guess from the looks of it, it’s going to be the filling for the cake. Nichkhun keep on watching when Wooyoung cuts the cakes into several layers, putting some filling onto the layers and start decorating the cakes. No words can be heard from either of them.

After a few minute when Wooyoung is done with everything and place the finished cake on the table top, then is when Nichkhun decided to try calling him again.

“Wooyoung?” he calls. Wooyoung turns his head toward Nichkhun. Wooyoung smiles at Nichkhun bitterly.

“The cake…” Nichkhun wants to ask, eventhough he knows who is the cake for.

“How ironic isn’t it?” Wooyoung said suddenly.

“Huh?” Nichkhun can’t understand what Wooyoung means.

“How ironic Khun…the day he’s born is the day he go…” Wooyoung said while staring at nothingness. Nichkhun don’t know what he should say.

“Fate surely play cruel joke…” Wooyoung said again.

“Wooyoung…you know that Taecyeon is…” Nichkhun can’t continue what he wants to say.

“You know…he don’t really like chocolate…he said it’s too sweet, but because I like it, it became his favourite…” Wooyoung continue talking. Nichkhun was completely lost. There’s nothing he says could make it better. He knows it and Wooyoung too.

“I’m more than aware that he’s gone, but I can’t help but do something special on this day.” Wooyoung smile a bit. Even when the smile is small, Nichkhun can feel the sincerity from the smile.

“I’m sorry for making you worried.” Wooyoung said before walking away. Nichkhun just stay stunted.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………..

It’s already late at night. Nichkhun check the clock repeatedly. Wooyoung is still not coming home. He is beyond worried. He plans to go look for Wooyoung when someone pushes the bell of his house. Nichkhun hurriedly open the door revealing Wooyoung being carried on the back by Chansung. Minjun is standing beside him.

“What happen?” Nichkhun asks worried.

“Today’s just a bad day for him. He might suffer some panic attacks or nightmare, so please look out for him.” Minjun said to Nichkhun.

“I’m very sorry to put this burden on you but we don’t really have any choice. He keeps saying he wants to go home.” Chansung said feeling terribly guilty toward Nichkhun.

“I don’t mind. Put him on the bed.” Nichkhun said while showing them to his bedroom. They are going back when suddenly Minjun turns around.

“Look out for him tonight. Please…” Minjun said weakly. Nichkhun just nods.

After they go, Nichkhun lie down next to Wooyoung. Wooyoung looks like his sleeping properly. Nichkhun rubs Wooyoung’s cheek lightly.

“You can share your trouble with us Wooyoung; you can share it with me. Please don’t go and suffer alone. Let us help you. Let me help you.” Nichkhun speak almost whispering. After seeing that Wooyoung seems completely relax Nichkhun tuck himself in and try to get some sleep.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Nichkhun was dreaming about enjoying a long walks on the beach when he hears grunt coming from Wooyoung. Nichkhun can feel that Wooyoung is trashing in his place. Nichkhun gets up immediately. He comes closer towards Wooyoung only to see he’s clutching his chest tightly and panting. Nichkhun tap his shoulder. Try to wake Wooyoung’s up. However, before he even manage to say anything Wooyoung spring up from his lying position screaming his heart out.

“No…” Wooyoung mumbles. Tears are streaming down like rain. Wooyoung looks around for his chick plush toy and hug the toy like his life depends on it. Nichkhun’s heart clenches looking at the scene in front of him. Nichkhun tore the plush toy away from Wooyoung and pull him into his hug. Nichkhun hug Wooyoung tightly.

“It just a nightmare Wooyoung. Just another nightmare.” Nichkhun said trying to calm him down. They stay in that position for several minutes before Wooyoung completely stops crying. Nichkhun pull himself away from Wooyoung only to see Wooyoung asleep again.

“Thank god you’re ok.” Nichkhun said relief. Nichkhun lie Wooyoung back down to the bed. He rubs Wooyoung’s cheek again. He stares at Wooyoung face lovingly before smiling bitterly.

“When will you see me Wooyoung?” he asks, not really expecting any answer.

“I’m always here waiting for you…you just need to turn around and look…” Nichkhun voice is merely a whisper. Nichkhun leans in closer and his lips just an inch apart from Wooyoung cheek. He inhales deeply before pushing himself away.

“How could I take an advantage of you when you believe in me?” Nichkhun chuckle eventhough it hurts like hell.

“I love you Wooyoung. I love you so much.” Nichkhun said before turning away and go to his side of the bed to catch some sleep. Little that Nichkhun knows that Wooyoung hears everything.

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

i am very sorry for the really late update. i've some problem that unable me to update this story. i don't know about this chapter.

i'm trying to make it easier for Nichkhun. i'm so sory KHUN. T.T

anyway enjoy the story... ^-^