i'm sorry for being away for so long! this is for 930820-nim, i hope you like this story!

and i apologize if this story doesn't flow normally. the effect of excessive listening of History's 'Dreamer' and Lunafly's 'When I was Your Man' at 1 in the morning while writing this. and also, happy birthday, huang zitao! <3

“Do we know each other?”

He looks up from his chocolate cup and asks you when he sees you sitting on the chair across him. His eyes scan your face so thoroughly as if looking for something familiar to him to recognize. And then he blinks.

Zero. Of course he doesn’t know you.

“We met each other around five years ago.” You answer him lightly, decorating your face with a rehearsed simple smile. You’ve practiced it thousand times in front of the mirror, thinking what kind of impression you would like to give for him. After all, first impression is really important in Korea. Most importantly in front of him.

“Really?” he reaches his nape and scratches it lightly. “Well, I got an accident a few months ago, so I might have forgotten you…”

“It’s okay, Baekhyun hyung,” you answer his uneasiness, deciding that continuing with ‘it’s not your fault’ will make him confused even further. “What happened to you, if I may ask?”

“I don’t really remember…” he trails off, telling you the story you already know. “People said that it was a traffic accident. I just got out of the hospital a month ago, so I’m still yet to know myself and people around me. So far Chanyeol and Sehun visited me at the hospital and helped me settle back to my apartment. Do you know them?”

Of course you know them. They are also the reason why you couldn’t visit him for the past months. How could you forget them? “I know them,” you answer simply, gulping down the bile rising in your throat. “Most of your friends know me, actually.”

“Is that so?” he tilts his head to the side. His cute side is also what you missed the most, aside from his existence in your life itself. “Weird, Chanyeol has never mentioned you before. Wait, you never tell me your name.”

“Oh, right,” you chuckle. “I’m Huang Zitao, but you can call me Tao.”

“Tao,” he calls your name. You ignore your heart that skips a beat upon hearing it again after almost a year. “Tao, Tao, Taotaotaotao. Your name sounds unique. Are you Chinese?”

“I am,” you smile, loving how he asks about your origin. “I thought my rusty Korean states it obviously. You used to mock me for needing an interpreter to understand what I said.”

“Oh really?” his eyes brighten and his smile widens but they quickly turn dull. “Do we know each other that well? I’m really sorry that I couldn’t recognize you. Do you have time now? What about we take a walk together and you can tell me what we used to do before?”

You intended to invite him, but you don’t expect him to initiate it first time. Of course you comply. You hold out your hand, waiting for him to get up, and he appreciatively takes it.

In your hand now is a hand of someone you will never let go ever again.

*

“You are the noisiest person in our peer group,” you say as the first fact about the person beside you. “Joonmyun used to hold a black tape as a threat if wouldn’t shut up and let him sleep. You used to live with him in the same apartment. But they actually couldn’t live without the noise you made. I remember Sehun’s long face when you were really sick that the doctor had to put you into bed rest, he said the morning wasn’t the same without your obnoxious girl group songs cover singing.”

“Oh, I know Joonmyun,” he responds while watching the cherry flowers. “He visited me once a few months ago, but I haven’t met him again because he is in Japan right now.”

“Yes, that Joonmyun,” you nod. “You, he, Chanyeol, and Sehun used to live together until Joonmyun graduated and you guys decided to live by yourself.”

“Do you know about my family?” he looks up and stares at you, somewhat hopeful.

“We used to grow together in an orphanage,” you smile at him, trying not to look too sad. “And then we went to the same college, but different major. You went to Music, and I went to Sports. You used to participate in Choir club and you were on of the main vocalists there. You mastered in playing piano, too.”

“I want to try playing piano again, maybe my skill hasn’t wiped out,” he grins, but it falls slightly when he sees you stop at the center of the crossroad. “Tao?”

“I live around here,” you say to him. “See the building there? That is my apartment. And here… is the location where that accident happened.”

You don’t need to explain which accident you talk about. There is no response from your companion, either, so you decide to continue your confession.

“I was so upset at that time and I called you, asking you to come over. I didn’t know that you were sick and under influence of medicines. You drove here and lost control. We almost lost you, but the doctors saved you. You fell into deep sleep for so long… we almost lost our hope that you would wake up again.”

“But I woke up,” he tells you, merely a whisper. “Why didn’t you visit me? Why didn’t you come to me earlier?”

“Because I used to be your lover,” you choke on your own words. “A lover who almost killed you. Chanyeol banned me from visiting you, since it was because of me he almost lost his best friend. Sehun stopped talking to me because he loved you too much. I only knew your progress from my visits at midnight, because it was only that time I could see you without meeting Chanyeol or Sehun. I came to you today because you are alone at the café.”

“You’ve been following me?”

“That’s the least I can do, because I can’t fix the mess I made. I want to see you, hoping that someday you will see me, too.”

“I know myself,” he breathes out, sounds almost like a rage. “I won’t give special title to anyone if they aren’t special to me. If you are my lover, my boyfriend, then it is what you are to me. Unless one of us breaks it up, we will always be lovers. It doesn’t matter if I’m almost gone from the world, the fact that I’m still here does. Don’t you believe in fate? Good lucks? Don’t you love me enough to fight for me?”

“Don’t you hate me?” you can feel your tears roll down your cheeks but you can’t care less. “After what I’ve done to you, don’t you detest me?”

“Shut up, Zitao,” he holds out his hand and wipes off your tears with his thumb; you close your eyes to feel the sensation you’ve missed for so long. “There’s nothing to forgive and there’s nothing you need to apologize for. If I’m happy with you coming back to my life, then no one can go against it. Not even Sehun, not even Chanyeol. Understood?”

You timidly wrap your arms around his waist and bury your nose in his hair; it still smells the same like how you always remember it. He chuckles and rests his chin on your shoulder.

You vow, loudly in your heart, that you will never let him go ever again.

*

“Where is my chocolat—” he looks up and his eyes widen. “What is it, Tao?”

“The main reason why I came to you today is,” you say softly. “That I wondered if we can celebrate our birthday together again.”

“So,” he looks down on the small birthday cake you just settled on the dining table. You had a hard time to make a request to save the cake for dinner to the chef of the restaurant. “Is it my birthday today?”

“No, your birthday was two days ago, and mine was at the 2^nd,” you answer. “But we used to celebrate it on the nearest Saturday. And today is Saturday.”

His eyes turn sparkly and soon a tear rolls down his cheek. You reach out to wipe it with the napkin and he chuckles, probably laughing over your lame action.

“What is your wish, hyung?” you ask him after you light up the candles. He stares at you with a warm gaze and smile.

“I hope I can remember everything so I can stop hurting you,” his smile looks so sad. How you wish you could exchange everything in the world to make him happy again.

“I hope from now on you will only see you one thing.” And then you ask him to blow the candles together. You and he blow them, and after they are all blown off, he looks up and gazes at you again, “What should I see from now on, Tao?”

“Me,” you reach out to take his hand. “Don’t look at anyone, hyung. Only look at me, please. I can’t lose you again. I love you. I will always do.”

anyone here likes History? :3