Chapter 1 – Death (Present)

Tears fell down my cheeks as I held Maki’s cold lifeless hand tightly on my cheeks. ‘She’s dead.’ ‘She’s dead.’ ‘She’s dead.’ Those words kept on repeating over and over again inside my mind. I couldn’t believe that she had finally passed away. After being with her for such a long time I just can’t bring myself to believe those words. I’m heart broken. My lips trembled with fear and sadness as I stared at her cold and lifeless body. What will I do now that you’re gone? How can I move on without you by my side? I wanted to ask her all of these questions, but I know she wouldn’t respond to me anymore.

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” the doctor said consolingly as he patted me on my shoulder.

“Is she your grandmother?” he asked me curiously. I looked at him fiercely, offended at what he just said. I saw his expression change, sensing that he might have said something to inappropriate.

“No." I said coldly. "She’s my wife.”

Immediately I felt the mood of the room shift, producing an awkward environment. The nurses gasped upon hearing what I just said. They probably couldn’t believe how a young man like me would be married to an aged woman like her.
I felt the doctor’s hand slowly retreating from my shoulder. He apologized to me for before he made his way out the room. The two nurses gave me a strange look before they both exited the room.

I ignored their gazes for I didn’t care what they thought about me. I only care about her, only her and no one else.
I sat there for the rest of the night just clutching her hand tightly between mine.

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Three days later…..

I stood there motionless at the cemetery as I watched them lower her coffin into the newly dug grave. It was fall and the breeze felt cool and icy. I wore a black suit with black shades to hide my red puffed eyes. Although I tried my best not to cry, tears still continued to fall down my pale cheeks. I’ve been crying for the past three days and I'm amazed that I’m still able to cry. I never thought that I’d be crying so much as today.

Her relatives were all there; her brother, her cousins, and her nephews. Her older brother Yamapi stood beside me, doing his best to comfort me. He knows how much I love and care for his sister. I felt his tremulous hand patting my shoulder trying to console me.

I turned to him and he gave me a warm smile. I nodded and bit my lower lip as I returned my gaze back to the coffin. As I felt my cheeks become wetter, I lifted my shades and wiped my tears away with the back of my hand.

After she was fully buried, one by one everyone eventually went home, leaving me and her brother alone at the cemetery.

“I’m—s-o sorry.” I told him weakly. My mouth felt so dry, that I couldn’t even utter words properly.

“It’s alright.” He reassured me in a low voice. "Death is something unavoidable. Sooner or later people will die." he said to me. I knew that, but love is also inevitable. That's why no matter how much I tried not to fall in love with her, I still did.

“Are you going to be ok?” He asked me. I nodded my head reassuring him. I felt his hand pat my shoulder again one last time before he excused himself and left.

I decided to stay at the cemetery a little longer. I sat on the dry grass, clutching my legs together close to my chest with my head resting on my knees. I’m not sure when but after crying for quite sometimes, my tears finally ceased. I just sat there staring at the gravestone with my cold blue eyes scanning the gravestone from top to bottom.

It read:

Horikita Maki

Oct. 06, 1988 – May 17, 2059

Rest in Peace

‘She’s dead.’ No matter how much I try to deny her death, I just couldn’t escape it. I hated the fact that humans are not immortal. Before I met Maki I could careless about the human beings. I didn’t care whether they live or die. Nor did I try to understand them at all. However after meeting Maki I became worried. Knowing that she too will die someday like any other humans and not knowing when and how pains my heart. But I guess that day had already arrived. All those times of worry and anxiety is finally over. All that is left now is a cold corner in my heart that used to be filled with wonderful memories of her.

Ever since the day she was born to this tiny world I’ve always watched over her. I watched her progress and become the woman that she was.

It felt like it was just yesterday when I witnessed her coming to existence.

[Flashback – 71 years ago; Oct 06, 1988]

“Ahhhh!!!!!!!!!!” I heard a woman scream from below the dark alley. I glanced down and in the dark and I saw a middle aged woman collapsed on the floor clutching her huge bulging stomach. I watched her cry and scream in pain, but I didn’t do anything. I don’t even know why she’s screaming.

What the hell is wrong with this woman? Did she ate too much and now she has a bellyache? *sigh* Mortals are so weird. I lied back down on the floor and went back to staring at the stars. When I was about to close my eyes, I heard her scream in pain again.

“Please!!!!! Someone—help me!!!!!” She screamed louder. I looked around below to see if anyone was coming. There was no one. I pursed my lips, irritated at the commotion that the woman was making.

I decided to check her out. From the rooftop I jumped down to the alley just a few meters away from her. I made my way slowly towards her. When she saw my presence she began calling me over.

“YOU!!! Come here!!! Please HELP ME!!!!!” She screamed.

I stopped walking and just stared at her blankly. I looked behind me to see if I was the one she was talking to. There was no one behind me. She pointed at me and she began begging me. For I didn’t want to get involved with her, I turned around and began walking away from her. However, as I was walking I felt an eerie feeling within me sending chills behind my back. Her gaze and her begging have made me stop walking any further. I turned around and I looked down at her stained face. Somehow her gaze had made me walk back to her. I became drawn to her huge round brown eyes.

I lifted her up from the ground and I carried her bridal style. She was quite heavier than I expected. I carried her all the way to the hospital. At first she instructed me to get a cab, but I disregarded her suggestion. Instead I ran in lightning speed towards the hospital. She had her eyes shut the whole time so she didn’t notice a thing. Within three minutes, we arrived at the hospital. She was surprised that we arrived there so quickly and she asked me how we got to the hospital so fast. However, before I could give her a reply, her question was immediately followed with a yelp of pain.

The security guard came rushing in with a stretcher. I gently placed her down on it while the security guard called for the nurses. When they finally arrived they immediately rolled her into the delivery room. I watched their backs as they disappeared behind the closing doors.
I was confused of what was happening but it seemed really exciting and interesting. ‘Is this some kind of ritual?’ I wondered. ‘Stupid mortals.’

[End of Flashback]

I laughed at that memory. I can’t imagine how naïve and stupid I was before. It was the first time in my life I’ve ever encountered a pregnant woman so I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t even know that she was about to give life to a wonderful child; my daughter, my sister, and my lover.

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A/N: Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. The whole story is basically going to be in Jaejoong’s point of view since this is a memoir lol =P. 
Comments would be very much appreciated! Pls stay tune for chapter two!!! =D

Chapter two: And then you were born

(8/18/09) edited: (12/24/09)