Chapter 26
Love, Symmetry & RhythmChapter 26
The door closes behind us as we step into one of the smaller dance studios. As we put our stuff down on the side, I glance over to him.
“Thank you… for helping me with this.” I say shyly while playing with my fingers.
Jiyong smiles and gets out his iPod, “No need to thank me.” He moves over to across the room and plugs it in, “After all, you are my partner… and my girlfriend.”
I jump at the word and am about to say something until he laughs, “Kidding.”
I pout, “Stop fooling around.”
“Arraso, arraso.” He makes his way towards me and puts his hands on my shoulders. “But it actually might help you if you imagine me as your boyfriend.”
I begin to think he was being his egotistical self again but he explains. “The lyrics of the song are about a man who is apologizing to his girl for being selfish and greedy. When I dance with CL, Minzy, Bom, and Sohee, they are all girls that I am flirting with. The part when we are dancing, you are supposed to represent my girlfriend. The one I’ve been hurting, the one that I want only to look at me and no other man.”
He looks at me in the eyes, “You didn’t think of it like that, did you?”
How did he know?
“I could tell when we were dancing during practice earlier, you were too concentrated on being y and like the other girls. So concentrated that you lost the meaning behind the dance and the song.”
He makes his way back to his iPod and finds the song, “I know that Jae Wook doesn’t explain or teach the choreography as a story, but that’s why you have to make that connection yourself.”
[[Author's note: Open the link in a new window for music!! Music On. Keep in mind, it is not BIGBANG singing, only G-Dragon!]]
The music begins to play and he slowly walks to me, our eyes connected, “Let me help you.”
He grabbed my hand and began to sing a song I’ve never heard before.
♪ That first day you and I
Couldn’t keep our eyes off each other
As if time had stopped
As if we were new to love ♫
I immediately begin to blush under his intense stare and his amazing smile as he continued to sing to me, holding my hand.
♪ Even your awkward facial expressions
Are all dear to me ♫
He brings up his free hand and caresses my cheek. I think I’m going to faint.
♪ I hope you’ll be my friend
I hope you’ll be my lover ♫
His fingers lace with mine and he brings it up in front of my face for me to see.
♪ Don’t be scared
That I’ll let go of your hand
Even this moment, as I’m staring at you, is important to me
That’s why you gotta know, girl ♫
He moves away and around the room, keeping his eyes on me and huge smile on his face.
♪ My heart for you is blue
I want to embrace you like the sky
And when the dark windy rain blows
Don’t worry now, oh yeah ♫
My heart is racing uncontrollably as I listen to the lyrics and watch this man in front of me sing his heart out. My whole body was warm and soon I realized that I was smiling ear to ear. Even if these were just lyrics, even if they weren’t for me, it felt like they were. And for some reason, I wanted them to be.
♪ When you are tired or exhausted
I’ll hold you tight ♫
He makes his way over to me and rests his arms on both of my shoulders and smiles while singing the last few notes.
The music cuts off abruptly leaving us just standing in the middle of the room, staring at each other. My heart was still beating like crazy as I continued to look back into his eyes.
“You like?” He finally asks, slightly out of breath from singing with everything he had.
I just nod and continue to smile like a silly schoolgirl at him. He chuckles and taps me on the head. As he turns his back to me and makes his way to his iPod, I take this chance to gather up my scattered brain.
What was that? He was singing to me! To me! Ottoke, ottoke, my heart… I put my hand over my chest and can feel my heartbeat going out of control. I was full of giddiness and warmth. It was nothing that I have ever experience before. It made me feel light on my feet and like anything was possible. I’ve never felt stronger.
[[Author's note: Open the link in a new window for music!! Music on.]]
A familiar tune begins to play in the studio and I recognize that it is ‘Only Look at Me’. Why is he playing this now? I look at the back of his head questioningly and wonder what he was going to do next. Then he turned his head to look at me and the expression has completely changed. Before, he was like a happy lovesick puppy. Now, he looked full of regret, sorrow, and troubled. Once he started singing to the song, I felt as if all of the emotions I was feeling earlier were switched with new ones.
♪ I-I-I I’m sorry girl
It’s all me wantin’ too much ♫
Confused, worry, fear filled my body as I watched this new Jiyong walk towards me. He grabs onto my hand just like before, but his grip was limp and loosely held onto my fingers. As if at any moment, he would leave.
♪ It ain’t true that all men are the same, believe me girl
I’m different from all the people that I’ve met up ‘til now
I’ll only look at you, I mean it from the bottom of my heart
There won’t be any betrayal in front of the love you gave me ♫
My brows furrowed as I listened to him sing the lyrics. Not understand what he means and why he was saying such things. Then the next part of the lyrics came.
♪ To be honest, there were times when I waver
But don’t worry, it’s nothing more than that ♫
My eyes widen and I gasp at his words. The feeling of betrayal filled my body and I pull my hand back.
♪ From meetin’ you over such a long time,
Or maybe cuz of fightin’ over petty things
And my heart throbbin’ all over again
I was just curious for a second ♫
I walk backwards from him and turn away, not sure on what’s going on in my head and the sudden feeling of pain in my chest. He makes his way around me to face me again. He grabs my arm and looks at me with pleading eyes.
♪ With you by my side I’m not lonely, I’m happy
But before I know it, you get burdensome again
And sometimes I think it was better before ♫
I pull my arm away in anger at his hurtful words. I try to move away but he just grabs me again, making me listen to his words.
♪ I’m sorry to you but
Though I stray from you,
Don’t you ever stray from me, baby
Though I forget you,
Don’t you ever forget me, lady ♫
I look away, completely engulfed by anger at his words. First, he says such loving words to me and now this? Now he wants me just to sit aside while he can do whatever he wants with someone else?
♪ Even if I briefly meet lips with a certain other girls,
Only look at me ♫
I slap his hand away when he reaches out to me and walk the opposite direction. He comes into a view again and I recognize the way he is moving. Automatically, I respond to him while hearing the music in my body. We move with each other, as I push him away not wanting him to get closer to me and he continues to try and get my full attention.
While dancing, I can hear his voice in my ear, once again singing to me.
♪ I know all too well I’m being selfish
It’s that feeling of you waiting for me
Everyday in that chair, in that place, baby
I just want to be the only one for you, forever ♫
He is on his knees now in front of me, belting out the next few lines. Both of us, sweating and panting from dancing around each other.
♪ This is my wish,
Men’s feelings,
My dear, don’t curse me ♫
As I look down at him, pleading at me, my emotions began to bubble and spill out of me through the tears in my eyes. My vision was blurring as I could feel my heart being pulled in two directions, not knowing what to do. Not knowing how to love and hate at the same time.
I feel his arms come around me as he held me closer to his chest. My sobs are now becoming uncontrollable as I let him comfort me.
“♪ Only look at me. ♫” Jiyong sings softly against my sobs and the music stops.
*BlueNote*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Last update for the night!
Hope you enjoy this daragon moment :) Also the music!!
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Love you all. Goodnight~
*If you are confused about layout/weird details that seem wrong+right at the same time, please read the story description!*
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