Because of fame, he gained namy things and lost a lot too. But there was one thing the spotlight can't take away from him--his santuary. Deep within the park was a small clearing he found when he was younger, he goes there whenever he needs space. It was quiet and good place to ponder how life was treating him. 

It's been a while since he last went to this place, life was busy, life was fast and he needed a break. He needs to go back to that place.

The park wasn't as crowded as before, maybe it was due to the fact that the sky was grey and chances of raining were high. Suddenly, his attention was diverted to little  thing in front of him. She was so small that she barely reached his shoulders and that his frame was thrice as much as hers. 

"I'm sorry!" she pleaded in English while refusing their eyes to meet.

He stepped back, "it's alright," he told her in the same manner, "Are you alright?" he asked.

The girl, who had to crane her neck in order to meet his gaze giggled. Normally, he would feel insulted but hearing her voice, those innocent giggles replaced it with fondness. He smiled at her and asked, "Why are you laughing?" 

Her giggles turned into loud guffaws as she clutched her stomach in pain due to too much laughing.

"Sorry..hahaha..it's just hahaha..I.....hahaha,"  she said in between laughter

"Sorry, it's really funny to hear you speak in English," she said in Korean.

Before he could even respond, rain started to fall and they had to find a shelter if they don't want to catch a cold. They ran and ran until they found a small but dry shed.

The girl said something in English as she searched for something in her hand bag. She had that worried look on her face when she turned to him, "I can't find my phone," she said in Korean.

"When the rain stops, we could find a phone booth if you'd like," he said

She beamed at him and said, "Thank you! You're the best!" then she hugged him.

It felt weird at first but somehow, he got used to it but didn't hug back. She let go of him and sat on the bench behind her.

 

It was quiet and the pouring rain was the only noise they could here, the girl--still nameless to him was beginning to doze off in her seat. Being a gentleman, he moved beside her and made her lean her head on his shoulder.

He heard her say thanks.

 

 

"You know, I never knew your name?" she asked.

It wasn't everyday he found someone who doesn't know him as T.O.P of Big Bang so he told her his real name, "Choi Seunghyun, and you?"

"Shaylie," she whispered, "You look familiar though. Have I seen you somewhere?"

He looked thoughful for a moment until he said, "Maybe you know me as T.O.P."

Shaylie was quiet for a moment before saying, "The name does ring a bell. I believe you're the guy my cousin is addicted with,"

T.O.P only kept his mouth shut, "Should I be worried about paparazzis following you around?" she asked

"Not today,"

 

"Hmm...it must really feeling nice to be like you," she said

"Being a star has its perks but its sometimes tiring and stressful but I really do enjoy being what I am right now," he told her, "It makes me feel alive,"

He watched her smile from the corner of his eyes. He saw a glint of sadness in her eyes before she blinked the all away when she said, "You're really lucky you know. Surrounded by your love ones and such everyday."

"I envy you," she added quietly as the sad glint in her eyes appeared again

"Why?" he asked

She sighed and scooted closer to him, "I pushed them away and I regret it now," 

 

 

"Seunghyun?"

"Yes?"

"I really like you,"

.......

"As a friend,"

"Oh,"

 

"Shaylie?"

"Hmmm?"

"Nothing,"

 

He wanted to comfort her, to tell her that she's still young and she has enough time to renew those bonds with the people she pushed away. She will never be alone, she will be happy for the rest of her life and he wants to help her. This emotion--the fondness he felt for her the second their eyes met, it was nothing romantic but he really liked her. She was different from the others, she was like the sister he never had.

"The rain stopped, we can go now,"

.......

"Shaylie?"

.......

"Hey! Wake up,"

.......

"No! Shaylie! Wake up!" 

 

He was beginning to worry. Her skin was cold and pale. And she wasn't breathing. At all.

His heart was beating faster as every second passed by. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and called GD.

 

 

 

 

 

He never felt so cold and scared before. A girl. She. Shaylie. Shaylie just died on him. She died sitting there beside him with her head on his shoulder. She even told him she liked him.

"Seunghyun, are you alright?" GD asked

"TOP?!" a girl exclaimed when she entered the empty room where Shaylie used to lay. She actually ran away from the hospital this morning so she could go out and breath fresh air in the park, "G Dragon!"

"Hi. Are you related to Ms. Shaylie?" GD spoke up since TOP was still in shock.

The girl nodded, "I'm her cousin, Lee Hyu Rin,"

"Are you aware that....she's---"

"Dead? I know. She called me this morning saying that she can already 'feel her life leaving her'" Shaylie's cousin said, almost with no emotion, "I'm here to retrieve her belongings,"

"Sure,"

TOP saw  Hyu Rin get something from Shaylie's bag, it was a peice of paper folded many times. She threw it at him and he caught it gracefully, "She wrote that for you. It's a rough draft but she would want you to read it," then she left.

 

"But she told me she didn't know me," TOP spoke, for the first time after Shaylie died.

"Obviously, she lied to you. That girl has been in every concert you have,"

 

 

 

Hi! (^__^)V

The chances of you reading this is slim to none but I'll write it anyways. So where should I start? I LOOOVVVE BIGBANG! but I LOVE TOP MOOOORE..Bwahahahaha I feel like an idiot writing this, maybe I should burn this after I write this, right? 

Now, the reason why I wrote this is because I'm crazy and I have nothing to do. The hospital ! Everything is white and it smells like death here, it makes me more depressed but watching TOP on the TV makes my    but watching television makes my day XD. 

This is so hard, I really want to live but having someone elses heart in my chest, it's creepy and I can't stand thinking that someone lost their life and gave it me. I also don't want to die...because.....who wants to die anyways? I have so many things to do! I still want to marry TOP and have I want to graduate! ! I still want to be an interior designer! I still want to marry  someone! So why me? Out of billions of people out there, why me? What did I do wrong?

But it's too late to have these regrets, I even pushed everyone away so they won't get hurt when I pass and that's why I wrote a letter to you instead of them. You're the only person I could think of writing to without hurting. Okay, that was a lie, I'm hurting right now. I even crying.  At least you won't get hurt right? because when I'm finished with this, I'm going to burn this.

Maybe, in another life..I will be able to talk to you. Maybe, I'll be healthier then...

Seriously, writing this is a joke....I'm burning this. Bye. See you.

 

 

Shaylie.