Day 5:

  I didn’t feel like going anywhere. In fact, I wanted to stay in my room for the whole Saturday. I wanted to roll on my bed and get my mind off of Jung Jin. Ever since yesterday, I couldn’t take my mind off of her and it was killing me! I didn’t want to think about her! I wanted her out of my mind!

  “Ugh…” I grumbled. Maybe if I go somewhere, I’ll stop thinking about her, but what if I see her? No, I don’t think so. She usually stays home on Saturdays and play videogames. I should know since I usually do that, too. But what if I see Ji Min with Yong Guk? I didn’t want that to happen.

  “Whatever…” I think staying in the house is much worse that going outside because there’s nothing to do in the house. I changed my clothes and stepped outside, feeling the warmth of Spring. I decided to head to the park since that was one of the busiest place and I could kick some stones on the sidewalk.

  I began walking around while watching my surroundings. It was really a beautiful day: the birds were chirping, squirrels were running across the sidewalks and climbing trees, the flowers were blooming, and the sun was shining brightly down. Nothing will ruin this day.

  At least that’s what I thought until I spotted Ji Min and Yong Guk.

  Just my luck.

  I sat on a bench and pretended to look through my phone. A few times I would glance at them, but after those glances, I decided to watch them. I started to remember what Jung Jin had told me about forgetting about her which started to lead me to: If I did love Ji Min, I should let her be happy. I shouldn’t be getting in the way of her relationship because I couldn’t let her go. I could see they were madly in love with each other. It hurts to think that way, but the way they looked into each other’s eyes showed pure love, nothing more or nothing less.

  I watched as they held each other’s hands tightly as they smiled and laughed with each other. I wanted that but I know I couldn’t have it. It made me realize I knew she wouldn’t come back to me no matter what I did. I knew she wouldn’t love me the same way as she did in the past.

  I looked down at the ground as I felt a sting in my heart. It was time to move on, but it’s so hard. I felt a tear welling up in my eyes and I couldn’t stop it from streaming down my cheeks. How long will it take until I can let her go? Just exactly how long will it take?

  My gaze went back to the couple, and it was like I couldn’t breathe. Sometimes I wished that I could have treated her better and maybe, just maybe, she would still be with me. But now we’re growing distant and it hurts so much.

  I got up and decided to go somewhere else – away from the couple. I needed time alone.

  I end up at the library. I guess I had the urge to read a book, but to me, I wasn’t thinking of checking out a book. Whatever, I needed to get my mind occupied.

  I searched through the many bookshelves, searching for anything to read. I didn’t care what genre it would be, but I needed to get my mind occupied.

  I managed to find a random book that I chose by pointing to a random shelf, choosing a letter for an author and a number to determine which book I wanted to read. I sat down on one of the tables and started flipping through the pages. A few times I would glance up and let my mind drift, but soon that drifting went to a full blank. My eyes continually stared at a girl’s long, brown hair which reminded me so much of Ji Min’s hair before she cut and dyed it. Just as I was about to return to my book, the girl turned around and my eyes widened. I immediately dropped my head and shut my eyes tight.

  It was Jung Jin.

  I didn’t want to see her. I didn’t want to see her or her sister. Why is my heart trembling the same way as it does when I see Ji Min with Yong Guk. I don’t understand it.

  “Hey,” Jung Jin’s voice was suddenly beside me.

  I slowly looked up and forced a smile. “What are you doing here, Jung Jin?” I asked, my voice trembling slightly. Hopefully she didn’t notice it.

  “I just came to do my homework in the library since I have nothing to do at home.” Her eyes shifted to my opened book. “What are you reading?”

  I shut the book and covered the title with my arm. “I really don’t know.” I wasn’t really reading my book as I expected I would because my mind kept wandering.

  She sat next to me. “About yesterday…” She scoffed. “My dad is just – I don’t know. He can be kind of –“

  I chuckled. “Don’t worry about it. I know how he acts sometimes.”

  Jung Jin’s cheek turned to a rosy red.

  I couldn’t help but stare at that. It was just so cute like the way Ji Min was when she would blush in front of me. And now, even the eyes are the same when they’re embarrassed… No. I can’t think that way towards Jung Jin. She’s not Ji Min.

  I stood up, causing Jung Jin to give me a confused look. “I– I have to go.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “I’m going home.” I can’t stand this.

  “Oh. Okay…” She sounded disappointed. Why? What is she doing to me?

  I took a long look at her and saw a flash of Ji Min. I had the urge to kiss her, and I even swayed, debating whether to actually kiss her or not. I didn’t. Instead, I flicked her forehead and grinned. “One day, you’ll find that one guy that’ll make you happy.” With those words, I left and not wait for her to speak.

♥♥♥

  I couldn’t stand this. I had to leave. I had to go somewhere far away from here, but where? My parents lived here and I go to school, but I don’t want to be in this city anymore. It’s getting too crazy and I feel like I’m going crazy just by being here. What can I do to make everything better? What can I do to make things clearer for me?

  I paced around my room, thinking of what to do. I wanted to leave, but where would I go? I don’t have enough money to live on my own just yet. Maybe I should just leave for the weekend that way I don’t have to worry about finding a place to stay. Yeah, I should just go to the beach or somewhere to relax my mind. That’s exactly what I should do.

  I grabbed a backpack in my closet and stuffed clothes and other essentials inside. I wouldn’t be leaving until tonight so that way I don’t have to deal with my parents scolding me until afterwards. For right now, I decided to meet up with Jung Jin.

  I dialed her number and after a few rings, I heard her soft voice, “Hello, Himchannie?”

  “Where are you?” I asked.

  “I’m home. Why?”

  “Is your parents or Ji Min there?”

  “No.”

  Good. I wanted to meet with her alone until I figure out what I feel about her. “Can I come over?”

  There was a long pause at the other end of the line. I wasn’t sure what she was thinking but I could tell she was remembering what happened yesterday. “Sure. There are some cookies we baked left over. I could give you some.”

  I smiled. “Okay. I’ll head over.”

  “Okay, see you.”

  I hung up and stuffed my phone in my pocket. I glanced at my backpack, wondering if leaving for the weekend is right thing to do. I mean, I would be leaving without my parents knowing. I would leave a note, but I wouldn’t tell them personally until I get back. It doesn’t hurt to get yelled at once in a while.

  I headed out the door, telling my dad that I would be at Jung Jin’s house for a moment. I walked all the way there and the moment I reached her door, I hesitated. Is it really okay for me to just come in here when I have a problem with Ji Min?

  Suddenly, the door opened, revealing Jung Jin in the same clothes as this afternoon.

  I stood there, eye wide and wondering how did she know that I was here. I stood there, frozen and not knowing what to say. Now seeing her right in front of me, I started to get nervous. Why am I acting this way towards a girl that is my ex-girlfriend’s sister?

  “Oh. I thought you weren’t coming.” Jung Jin stated and stepped aside.

  Why did she think that?

  I went inside and followed her to the living room and sat down on the couch. I went straight to business. “I want to talk.”

  She paused in her tracks towards the kitchen and looked at me. She blinked her brown eyes a couple of times before taking a sigh and sat next to me. “What do you want to talk about?”

  I bit my lip. I wasn’t sure how I could say it because I wasn’t planning on what exactly I wanted to say. But I know what I wanted to do. “Close your eyes.” I whispered.

  Jung Jin tilted her head in confusion, but she didn’t disobey. She closed her eyes lightly as her lips slightly parted. Her hands rested on her thigh as she tucked a leg underneath her. The longer I waited, the more she slouched, getting less and less proper.

  I leaned forward and reached out, tucking her hair behind her ear. She flinched a nearly opened her eyes, but I said, “Don’t.” I continued to lean forward, captivated by her beauty that resembled Ji Min’s. I was only a few centimeters away from her lips as I wanted to kiss her so badly, but I felt a pang of guilt. I pull away and stood.

  This caused her to open her eyes and stare at me.

  I stepped away from her and turned my head away. I couldn’t. I couldn’t do this to her. This isn’t right! I can’t just rebound like this with my ex-girlfriend’s sister. It wouldn’t be right. “I’m sorry,” was the last thing I said before leaving the house.

  I rushed back home as the tears streamed down my eyes. My heart was aching and I couldn’t share that with someone else. If only someone knew my pain, then maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t hurt this much. I couldn’t understand my heart. Why is it being so vulnerable?

  The moment I reached my house, I ran inside, my footsteps resounding around the house. I didn’t care if my parents heard, but I had to get a break from all this. I took my backpack and slung it over my shoulder. This time, I had no doubts whether or not I wanted to go. I now knew where I could have peace where no one else could find me.

  I went downstairs and found my parents at the bottom of the steps, watching me.

  “Where are you going?” My dad asked.

  “Out.” I simply stated while going pass them.

  “At this time?” This time it was my mom who spoke. She grabbed my arm, pulling me back.

  I made direct eye contact with her and nodded. “I want to get out of here.”

  “You’re not going anywhere.” My dad stated. He hated me going out so late even though I’m going to be an adult next year.

  I jerked out of my mom’s grasped and went outside without a word. Of course my parents followed, saying things I didn’t pay attention to. All I knew was they were screaming about me being in trouble when I come back and I shouldn’t leave at all. I ignored every single word and continued walking. It wasn’t until I turned the next corner, they left me alone.

  I checked my pocket to make sure I had enough money for a bus and I did. I found the nearest bus stop and waited until the net bus came. I looked around as I saw the familiar place of the city I would be leaving for a moment. Hopefully, by the time I get back, I would have a clear mind.

  After five minutes, a bus came. I stepped inside and paid. I sat at the back near the window, knowing where I was going would be a long ride. I peered out and found the sun ready to set. The sky turned a bright orange with a mixture of pink as the sun’s rays spread across the horizon. I closed my eyes and dreamt of a new day.

 I closed my eyes and dreamt of a new day.

♥♥♥

  Day 12:

  I ended up staying at that place longer than I expected. When I returned home, my parents yelled and grounded me all at the same time. I didn’t care because I was feeling good after that break.

  While I was at my vacation place, I didn’t think about Ji Min or Yong Guk. I thought about what if I never have met Ji Min. What would’ve been my life? I imagined it as boring and inexperienced. If I didn’t meet Ji Min, then I wouldn’t have known what love between a boy and a girl would be like. I wouldn’t have known what a first kiss would’ve felt like. And I wouldn’t have known how to be able to let go of the past.

  After my parents scolding, my phone was taken away from me and other things I enjoyed. I was basically a prisoner inside my own house for a full month which , but it was fair enough. I left while they said not to and I left longer than I should have. I couldn’t go outside even though it was the weekend, but I guess my parents told Ji Min and Jung Jin that I returned because I heard their voices downstairs.

  I stayed on my bed, fiddling with my fingers. I wasn’t sure how I would confront them after leaving so suddenly. I heard my door open, but I dropped my gaze on the ground. Someone punched me on the shoulder really hard and knew who it was.

  “You idiot! Why did you leave? I was worried that you died or something!”

  I raised my head and saw Jung Jin standing next to while Ji Min stood by my doorway. I bit my lip. “I’m sorry.” That was all I can say. I didn’t want them to know why I left, but I wanted them to know that I didn’t want to hurt any of them.

  Jung Jin scoffed. “You’re sorry? That’s all you got to say after you left for a week? Everyone was worried about you even me!” She hit me again as tears streamed down her eyes. “You idiot!” She raised a fist.

  I grabbed her wrist before she could hit me again and pulled her into a tight embrace. I her hair as I whispered, “I’m sorry for leaving you. I didn’t mean to, but I had to clear my mind. I won’t do it again.”

  She was sobbing into my chest as I felt her grip on the back of my shirt. “You better not. I was worried and scared. I didn’t want to lose you.” Jung Jin paused. “You know what I wanted to say the day we made the cookies?”

 “What?”

  She raised her head and leaned into my ear, whispering, “I like you.”

  I blushed but a small smile crept on my lips. I couldn’t say the same because it was still too early to determine my feelings. All I could say was… Nothing at all.

  She must’ve known because she let me go and at that moment, I saw another face in my room.

  I stared at him, but not as an enemy anymore, but as a close friend that I lost and found after a long journey. I grinned at him slightly and greeted, “Hey, Yong Guk.”

  He returned the smile with his own. “Hey, Himchan.”

  I turned to Ji Min and smiled. “Ji Min.”

  She just smiled without a word.

  I looked at everyone around the room and noticed the familiar faces I knew before the break up. I saw the faces of the past where there were no worries or troubles. I saw the faces of the ones I loved before the incident. And I saw the faces that belonged to my friends before those five days of spring.