Yixing could not stop thinking about Kris. The memory of Kris’s voice on Myung Hee’s speaker phone stayed fresh in his mind days after he left the older woman’s office. He tried contacting the celebrity in question but after three days of please try again later, Yixing decided that enough was enough. He could only come to the conclusion that Myung Hee had told Kris what happened and hence the latter was avoiding him.

Or maybe Kris decided that he really liked Chanyeol after all and ignoring Yixing was the best way to let him down gently.

It was sad how his mind ran wild with imagination trying to find explanations for the man who had lied to him again and again. He missed the days where their relationship was innocent and simple, where they were just two trainees spending 24 hours a day in each other’s presence, where all they worried about was whether the company would debut them.

It was sadder how Yixing wouldn’t – couldn’t – stop thinking about him even when he was on a date with Luhan. He knew it was unfair to the other, dating him when he was so hung up on Kris, but each time he was overwhelmed with guilt how Luhan stuck by him all the years. It just wasn’t right for Yixing to walk out on him.

He shoved the thoughts to the back of his mind when Luhan returned from the bathroom with a lopsided grin on his face. They were on one of their dates, at this fancy restaurant Luhan insisted Yixing come with him instead of spending yet another beautiful day at home with his guitar.

“I hope you don’t mind I got us dessert,” Luhan told Yixing cheerfully. “I passed by the counter and the cakes looked so good I couldn’t resist.”

Yixing pretended to look horrified. “You mean I have to deal with you on one of your sugar highs?” he asked, letting out a chuckle when the other stuck his tongue out childishly at him just as the waitress appeared at their table with one slice of cheesecake. Yixing looked at Luhan questioningly.

“I knew you’d complain about me taking too much sugar.” Luhan scrunched up his face and poked his fork into the cake. “So you are sharing it with me. Here, take the first bite.”

He obediently opened his mouth for Luhan to feed him and too offered Luhan a mouthful of cake from his own fork. It was rather embarrassing, how two grown men were acting so cringingly corny, but at least Yixing felt wanted by somebody.

He could always count on Luhan to lift up his mood.

“Why do you have so many assignments?” Yixing grumbled in between bites. “You haven’t even been to the pub to listen to me sing.”

Instead of looking apologetic, Luhan only chuckled at Yixing’s complaints and fed him another forkful of cake. “Why don’t you just admit that you miss me?” he teased, eyes twinkling in amusement. “Maybe I should disappear a bit more often then?”

Yixing waved his fork in what he hoped was a threatening pose. “Don’t you dare!” he exclaimed with a sniff. “Or I’ll run off with someone else.”

 “I think that can be arranged.”

His entire body froze at the icy steeliness of the voice. After disappearing on him for this long, Kris had to appear when he was on a date with Luhan!? Yixing looked straight ahead at the tense Luhan, who was shooting fiery glares at the celebrity, and dropped the fork onto the table in a surge of anger, the loud clang causing quite a number of people to look their way.

“This is a private conversation,” Yixing told him coldly, his tone surprising Kris. After all, the last time he had seen the actor, they had been cuddling on his bed. Kris wouldn’t have known what new information he had of him since he vanished completely on him and honestly Yixing was far too weary of listening to more of his excuses.

A new shadow fell onto their table, his voice directed at Kris. “Hey, they got us a table. Why are you—” The owner of the voice paused, his large eyes widening. “Luhan? Is that you?”

Yixing’s eyes darted to Luhan curiously as recognition flashed on the latter’s face and was about to ask who the other man was when he was rudely yanked up from his chair.

“Oh good, you know my new manager,” Kris said blandly, hand still holding tightly onto Yixing’s elbow despite his attempts to wring it away. He dipped his hand into his manager’s back pocket and pulled out a set of keys. “Minseok, stay and keep Luhan company. I’m kidnapping Yixing.” With that, he pulled a struggling Yixing out of the restaurant.

“What the hell is wrong with you!?” Yixing snapped furiously once they were out of earshot, his feet stumbling to catch up with Kris’s long strides. “Who do you think you are, swooping in like that and just—what the—yah!”

Kris shoved him into the black vehicle Yixing recognised as one of the agency’s cars that were used to drive the celebrities around. He started to protest but jumped back when the car door nearly slammed into his arm. How dare Kris push him around like this!

The car sped out of the parking lot into the streets so fast Yixing had to clutch onto the coat hook with both hands. He scowled and turned to Kris to tell him to slow the down when Kris suddenly snapped.

“I just flew to Japan for a week and you’re cheating on me already?” he retorted angrily.

His question was so out of the blue Yixing laughed.

“How can I, when we aren’t together?” Yixing replied flatly, turning away to stare out the window. “If anything, it’ll look more like I’m cheating on Luhan. I told you, I’m together with him now. So stop. Stop showing up in front of me.”

Kris shot him an incredulous look. “I thought you broke up with him! He’s the one who got you into prison!”

“Why should I break up with him?” Yixing demanded to know. He dropped his hands to his lap and balled them into fists. , sometimes Kris made him feel so violent. “Why should I break up with him when he’s a lot more honest than you’ll ever be? Don’t even talk about prison – if it weren’t for your idiocy, would I be there!”

The car came to a screeching halt in front of the river. Yixing in a deep breath to calm himself down, his livid stare crashing with Kris’s.

“I didn’t want you to take the blame!” Kris shouted. “You insisted!”

“Sure,” Yixing replied sarcastically. “Am I supposed to believe you and your Myung Hee noona didn’t plot to have me arrested instead of you?”

“I didn’t—!” Kris broke off and the colour drained from his face. A defeated expression replaced his outraged one. “You found out about Myung Hee.”

Yixing was so shocked he could not even respond. Was Kris not even going to deny it? His chest constricted so painfully he swallowed a gasp and dug his fingernails into his jeans so the physical pain could distract him from the emotional one.

“So it’s true then?” he choked, “That you conspired with her to have me take your place?”

“No!” Kris’s hands flew off the steering wheel to grab Yixing’s hands. The actor shook his head fervently, eyes wide. “No, I didn’t – I wouldn’t! Why would I… I didn’t want you arrested! You have to believe me. I was going to give myself in – after all, I wasn’t doing so well as an actor and you… you had the most potential out of us all. It was my mistake to correct – I know now I should have insisted on telling the truth when you wouldn’t let me—” He broke down and pulled Yixing into his arms. “I swear I didn’t… I’m sorry you had to suffer in there.”

Yixing was surprised to feel the dampness on his neck but he didn’t dare pull away to look. His own eyes pricked but he shut them tightly before tears could form. Once upon a time, he would have trusted Kris with his life and now here he was, considering the possibility that Kris might be testing his acting skills on him.

“I don’t know if I believe you, Kris,” he said quietly, his voice nearly breaking. “I barely even know you anymore.”

When Kris pulled away, his red-rimmed eyes were wide with panic. “Why? What do you need to know? I’ll tell you everything!” He clenched onto Yixing’s hands tightly as though fearing he would pull away. “If it’s Myung Hee then you don’t have to worry. Nothing’s going on between us. She’s just a sponsor.”

Yixing merely looked at him, and that was enough to cause Kris to flush.

“It’s not what you think. Sure, she expects me to… sleep with her but I haven’t.” Kris released a hand on Yixing and held up three fingers. “I swear, I haven’t done anything with her.”

Yixing snorted in disbelief, his gaze flicking away from Kris’s face to his hand. “Am I supposed to believe she’ll willingly be your sponsor without you doing anything?”

Kris fell silent and the longer the silence dragged out, the more Yixing wanted to get away from him. He tugged at his hands to remove them from Kris’s grip but the movement seemed to snap him into attention.

“I told her I can only be with her when my contract with the agency ends,” Kris said finally. “You remember my previous manager, Jinho hyung – she gave him money to start an entertainment agency so that I could join them when my contract expires. All I’ve been doing so far was to accompany her to some charity events and that’s it.” He exhaled slowly. “I was desperate for fame then, Xing. My career couldn’t fail, not when you wasted your future in jail for me.”

Yixing’s eyes looked searchingly into Kris’s but the way the latter stared back unflinchingly told him that this was possibly the truth. If he calculated correctly then Kris’s contract should be ending in a few months.

“How are you going to get yourself out of this mess, Kris?” he asked softly.

A slight smile made its way onto Kris’s lips. “Chanyeol’s going to help me. That’s why I left the pub that day with him. He found me a solution—”

“But you fired him,” Yixing interrupted. “You two are still… on good terms?”

“Yes…” Kris murmured, but hurried to add, “Just friends though. We’re just friends. There was nothing going on between Chanyeol and I then and there never will be.”

Even so… Yixing frowned, not entirely sure to believe it or not. “How? How is he going to help you?”

The way Kris cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck gave his discomfort away. “I can’t exactly say right now but you have to trust me.” He brushed Yixing’s cheek lightly, the unexpected touch causing Yixing to shiver slightly. “I love you. I asked you this before but… can’t we just go back to before?”

Go back to before… That would be nice. If he could push aside all the secrets he didn’t know about, forget about everyone and everything and just spend the rest of his life with Kris, it’d be nice. But what about Luhan? What about Chanyeol? And Myung Hee? How long would it take for it to fall apart if they just ‘go back to before’ when there were so many things to consider?

“No.”

The answer came so automatically that even Yixing was surprised at himself. He drew away from Kris, putting as much distance between them as possible. The invisible hand that held a stiff grip on his heart was unbearably tight, suffocating him to the point that he felt his respiration system was going to break down. He bit down on his lower lip hard to keep himself from whimpering and struggled to even his breathing.

“I love you too, Kris,” he finally said. “But your lies – or your ‘half-truths’ – are killing me. I no longer know what to believe.” His eyes glistened with unformed tears; Yixing had to blink to clear his blurred vision. “Maybe our time with each other has run out.”

A/N: Wow I am so uncomfortable not ending with a cliffhanger for 3 chapters in a row.