A Promising Goodbye

A Chance Meeting

His eyes dropped to my lips and mine did the same.

 

He leaned in slowly but pulled back suddenly. I did the same and ran to the door. I opened the lobby door and led the way to the elevator.

 

The ride up was extremely silent. I wanted to smack my cheeks to get rid of the burning feeling in them. I sneaked a look at him from the corner of my eyes and saw that he was red in the face and had his hand rubbing the back of his neck. We got to the third floor and went down the hall to my apartment. I unlocked the door and turn the lights on. Kicking my shoes off I ran to my room to get my phone.

 

"Make yourself comfortable!" I yelled as I looked through the pile of clothes i had left there that morning. I found the phone under my pillow and walked back to the living room.

 

He was siting on the couch looking at my cd collection. He picked up my pink floyd cd and smiled. I handed him the phone and he thanked me. I left him alone to talk and went to the kitchen to get water. I looked at the small mirror i had on the wall and realized just how bad i looked. I laughed thinking I was a pretty cute boy. Drinking my water i went to my room and changed into pajamas. I took my hair out of my hat and shook it out to get rid of any tangles. I was combing my hair when i heard a knock at my door. "Come in." I turned and Jonghyun handed my phone back. "Did you get someone to pick you up?"

 

"You see, no one answered the phone... so..." He stood there quietly for 3 minutes.

 

"Do you know the address?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Then we'll get you a taxi." I grabbed the phone and started dialing.

 

"I don't have any money actually on me right now. I spent it all in the cafe."

 

I gave him a long and dragging look before i pressed send. "Yeboseyo, yes i'd like a taxi at this address. Yes please be discreet. Thank you. Goodbye." I turned to look at him again, "my treat."

 

We waited for the taxi to come and decided to watch a movie. I didn't notice when either of us started falling asleep but somehow my head ended up on his shoulder and his head ended up on my head. He smelled really clean and crisp and i felt dazed in the sent. His hand slid down unconciously and landed next to mine. It was almost instinct but our fingers intermingled as we driffted off to sleep.

 

"RIIIING RIIING RIIING!" The phone rang and i jolted awake. I hit Jonghyun's head in the process and we both rubbed our scalps as i answered the phone. The taxi had come.

 

As i walked him down the stairs we both felt that sad feeling of having to say goodbye. It was weird but what had started as a bad day ended up being unbelievably great. We reached door and i could make out the taxi waiting by the curb. I gave him a small smile and wave as he looked down at me. He did the same and started to walk to the taxi. He stopped to look back again and wave. I laughed and did the same. I turned to walk back to the elevator when the familiar arms wrapped around me again. He turned me quickly and leaned in slowly to kiss me. I thought he would turn away again until i felt his soft lips against mine. I couldn't move and when he parted he leaned by my ear and whispered, "I'll definitely see you again." With that he left and sealed any doubts and worries I had left. I walked back to my room in a daze and thought that i should wake up late more often.

 

FIN

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Sugardreamx #1
Chapter 3: nice fic^^
but you left this story with a little hanging end. are you gonna make the sequel?
love this fics~
Naahra
#2
Chapter 3: Hahaha... It's just like a dream though.
kitchi
#3
Chapter 3: Cute fic. Somehow, I can actually see this kind of thing happening. Not necessarily to me and not necessarily with a celebrity, but.. Yeah. lol

Although, as I myself am not a writer, I don't know if I should be telling you this but just my opinion k, it did feel a bit.. I don't know.. Rushed?

It is, kind of, a pretty incredible coincidence that he just happened to meet her again on the same day, and there's the fact that he, a celebrity, was wandering alone, to begin with.. But all in all.. I enjoyed it! Thanks for a good read.

And for goodness sake.. Jonghyun sweetie, one does not simply ask a girl is she's a girl. -_-'

Aaaanyyyywayyy.. Thanks again! ^_^
thecafewriter
#4
Okay well I think it's about high time I gave you a detailed comment on a story. First off, I really don't see why you don't have more views on this: you write well and the story line isn't outrageously unbelievable that anyone should cringe from it. I rather enjoyed the realistic quality of this fic. Jonghyun is portrayed well as a good-mannered, protective young man and the girl's personality seems natural enough.

The build-up was good; I like that you included context as to the girl's reasons for looking like a boy instead of resorting to make her a tomboyish character. Their interactions seemed a little bit rushed, however, and your narration could benefit from perhaps a little more detail. For example, Jonghyun saves the girl from a daytime drunk, returns to filming, and then they coincidentally meet again at a park. While this seems plausible, I think the story could have been better if there had been a suggestion that some time had passed between the saving and their reunion.

I realize this is being told in the "you" perspective, but I do believe there are ways to portray Jonghyun's feelings along with the "you" character. That being said, I wish I could have seen the development in Jonghyun's feelings as well. There is a lot of attention to actions and gestures, but not much mention of how the character's feel at certain scenes.

I did enjoy the twist you put in the girl being mistaken for a boy, though. I see it used a lot in fics, but rarely is it ever used well and in a non-cliche way. You pulled it off, well, though, and it added to my overall enjoyment of your story ^^ Continue writing fun fics like this! If you need a beta, just let me know and I'd be happy to oblige :)
thecafewriter
#5
I hope this doesn't sound incredibly creepy, and I promise I'm not trying to stalk you or anything but what time zone do you live in? We always seem to be online at the same time. Anyhoo, I'm off to read chapter 1 ^^ I don't follow CNBlue all that closely but Jonghyun is the other guitarist isn't he?