It was warm, warmer than it had ever been in this room, and somewhat fluffy. I rolled to the left and hugged my warm pillow. I didn’t want to wake up. I wanted to feel this warmth forever… It felt so nice and comfy. It must be multifunctional pillow because I could feel it hugged me. And I even could hear the heartbeat pounding beneath the pillow sheet. Wait… what? Heartbeat? I opened my eyes and finally saw the warm pillow I had been snuggling.

“Good morning, Bommie.”

I shrieked. It was him. It was him. I didn’t know how I fell asleep last night but we were lying on my bed, under my blanket and I was on top of him. My face was on his chest. It had been two consecutive days since I woke up seeing his face first thing in the morning. I attempted to get up, grabbing whatever I could to hold my torso and finally got off bed. And apparently I grabbed his arms I could feel his bulging biceps. “Ah I-I’m sorry Hyun. I will… Kyaaah!” I tried to get off him and ended up falling down on the hard floor.

“Are you alright?” He jumped and found me on the floor. His thin lips curled. “Why did you roll to the floor? You should’ve stayed still.” He seemed worried. He carefully put his hand on my shoulder, helping me to get up.

“Yes.” I rubbed my that fell flat on the ground as I was standing up. Again. I kept showing him my embarrassing side since he met me that night. I actually wanted him to see my pretty side too, but all he saw was my ugly embarrassing side. I didn’t know what I did while I was sleeping. I might have snored or drooled or both. Sigh why I was such a mess…

“What’s wrong?” He was worried. Maybe he thought I was hurt so he checked on me. “You sure you okay?” He patted my head softly. When I didn’t respond, he grabbed my chin and raised my face as he lowered his knees. Our eyes met. “What’s wrong? Now tell me…” His voice was so sweet and gentle.

I pouted. “Did I snore last night? Did I drool?” But instead of answering my questions, he cracked up laughing. “What? Why are you laughing?”

His hands were on my shoulder. Hyun regained his composure and stared at me. “Is that what you were worried about?” He managed to let a small chuckle out. When I nodded, he was still smiling. “Neither. You did your thumb, though. And you were cute.”

C-cute? Can this guy be more considerate of my burning heart? I could not say anything. One thing for sure, my heart was thumping faster. Why? Because he just said I was cute while sleeping or the fact that we shared the same bed? I was not being logical. Other girls would have shrieked and slapped him for being a stalker and invading their privacy but me? I enjoyed it to be honest. He didn’t seem bad at all. I was excited every time I saw his face and smile. What’s happening with me? Did I lose my sense already? There were so many questions I could not answer.

“Bomi yah! Wake up! It’s already nine and you’re still in bed! You don’t wanna work? You’re always lazy!” I heard my mom shouted and nagged outside. “I don’t know what you’ll be if you keep doing this! No one would want you!”

It was not the first time I heard it but there was a sharp pain in my chest everytime it happened. I took a seat weakly and covered both ears with my hands. I could still hear her voice. I curled my lips and flared my nose harder as I tried to hold my tears. And suddenly I couldn’t hear anything anymore the moment he pulled me in his embrace and held me tight with his arms. “I don’t understand a thing but… just don’t listen.”

I sobbed quietly, burying my face on his chest. “She says I’m lazy because I woke up late and nobody would want me.” I tried to explain with trembling voice. “I know I’m not smart and I can’t make anyone proud of me, but am I that useless?” Clutching his shirt, I tried my hard to lower my sobs.

“I want you to be with me if it’s possible.” He caressed the back of my head.  “Don’t listen to her. It’s okay hush hush don’t listen anymore.” Hyun didn’t let go of me, consoling me until I was calmer and stopped sobbing.

***

I ended up skipping work.

Seung Hyun had been with me since I walked out of my house. I was wondering why he never changed his clothes all this time. He had this grey sweater on top of his white hospital pajama, and still wearing those slippers. I had to ask but I didn’t want to sound nosy or needy. It wouldn’t hurt to ask, I thought. “Hyunnie,” I grabbed part of his sleeve while we were walking around my neighborhood. “Why do you always wear that hospital pajama?” I finally asked.

“This?” He looked down on his pajama. “Well yes, I think so.” Seung Hyun definitely saw my puzzled look as he then continued. “It’s comfy.”

I pouted, thinking. Really? Is he the type of guy who doesn’t care about his appearance and the way people look at him? I pondered. But I didn’t want to be nosy so I just smiled and nodded.

“Do you like blonde hair?” He asked, looking at me with a smirk. He might be confused why an asian girl had striking blonde hair like me while most of the girls around us had natural black or at least dark brown-red colored hair. It probably wouldn’t be so weird if I was in Japan, but in Seoul I admitted I didn’t see many girls with blonde or silver hair in the streets and sometimes I noticed some people looked at me with raised eyebrows when they saw me.

“Well, I like to be different.” I answered while twirling my long hair. “And I’m pretty inspired by Ilbon… uh Japanese Shibuya yeoja… err I mean girls. They all have crazy colorful pretty hair and fashion styles.” I described using hand gestures and noticed he was smiling. “Does it look weird on me?”

He shook his head. “Absolutely not.” Seung Hyun smiled again. “You are beautiful.”

His blunt and sudden compliment made me blush and speechless. “Well, thank you.” I giggled as I curtsied playfully. I didn’t hide my happy expression at all.

“You’re so cute.” Seung Hyun chuckled again.

His deep husky voice and chuckles made my heart thump faster. “Well…” I tried to change the subject. “Since I’m not going to work today, let’s have some fun in the mall!” I said enthusiastically. “But… don’t you need to change your clothes?”

Seung Hyun stunned. “Uh… Oh… sure.” He plastered a smile. “Would you wait here for a bit while I go get dressed?” He turned around and ran when I nodded.

Meanwhile, I took a seat on the nearby bench, looking at the busy street. I stared blankly. Every now and then I kept checking my phone clock. So this is how it feels, I smiled. It’s been quite a while since I sit and wait for someone, a guy, like this. “This feels nice.” I breathed heavily, smiling.

“It is.”

I gasped, now looking at those two strangers before me. I looked at them with who-are-you look but I didn’t say a word.

“You must be a lost American girl,” the one with baseball cap smirked while looking at me. He definitely mocked my hair. “What are you doing here alone?”

Before I could answer, the other guy continued. “You seem to be waiting for someone. Well, with that outfit…” He looked at my oversized sweater and shorts then to my legs before he resumed. “You must be ‘that’ kind of girl. Do we have to pay you in advance or after we’re done?”

I rose. I wanted to slap and kick them hard. What’s so wrong about my outfit and hair? It’s not like I’m seducing anyone. I was so enraged to snap back at them I just said one last thing before I walked away. “Get lost.” And I ran away until I saw Hyun was walking my way. He looked worried. “Hyuunnnn…!” I hugged him.

“Did they bother you?” He saw what happened but couldn’t hear what they said to me. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” He held my shoulders to check on me.

“No I’m fine… it’s just… they think I’m a bad girl.” I wasn’t crying but I was hurt, still holding on to him. “You know bad… naughty girl. Call girl?” I wasn’t sure what it was called in English.

Seung Hyun seemed to get what I was trying to say. “Call girl? Street walker?” When I nodded, he glared at the men who were in the far back. I was glad to know that he was on my side but I didn’t want to start troubles in the middle of the street so I dragged him farther.

“It’s alright. Some people always judge me because of my look.” I still leaned my head on his broad comforting shoulder as I hugged his upper arm. And at the moment, I felt so safe. The breeze, the smell of dry leaves, and Hyun by my side…. I wouldn’t ask for more. Then I noticed he wasn’t wearing pajamas anymore. For the first time after a while I got a good look at him.

“What? Do I look weird?” He smiled, noticing that I was observing him and his new casual look. He was wearing a white shirt and black hoodie with jeans and sneakers.

I smiled back at him, shaking my head. “Not at all. You look fresh and I love it.” I blurted and regretted the last sentence. Why did I say that? I had a tendency to say things without thinking, even to this certain guy I just met. “I mean… you look nice.” I corrected.

Seung Hyun snorted. “Thanks.” He slowly but gently patted my head which sent electricity to my entire body like I was electrocuted. Alright, not to that extent, but still my heart pounded harder and faster. “Where do you want to take me?”

I just gave him a wide grin. “Let’s go to the mall! I’m starving!” I answered him cheerfully while rubbing my belly. I was in a really good mood. Life was hard but something really motivated me to just enjoy my life at that moment. I didn’t live far from the business area so we just took a twenty minute walk to my favorite mall and I enjoyed every single minute I spent with Seung Hyun that day. I felt like I had a boyfriend I didn’t have in a long while, except this one wasn’t annoying. “Are you hungry?” I asked him as we walked into the mall. I noticed some people looking at us, well, at me but I didn’t care. I got used to get that kind of look anyway.

“Not really.” He forced an awkward smile. “I know you are.” He snickered silently but I still heard him.

Our hands were linked as we went up to the top floor. But I noticed more and more people looked at me as we chitchatted along the way up. I knew he was really good looking and I stood out but what was so wrong? Many good looking couples walked together in Seoul but did they all get this same look these people gave me? I wondered. I wasn’t saying I was good looking, Seung Hyun was definitely, and like I said, I stood out, my hair and appearance probably. I was sitting on the chair with Seung Hyun sitting before me. I was thinking what I should get, until someone tapped my shoulder from behind.

“Bomi ah!”

I turned my head around to see it was my high school friend, Hanbyul. I hadn’t met her in years since we graduated but we used to be close friends in high school. I distanced myself after I graduated and didn’t go to college like my other friends. It had been years and I was startled she still could recognize me as some people had to look twice to tell it was me, Park Bom. “Byul ah!” I rose and shrieked then we hugged each other for some seconds. “What are you doing here?”

Hanbyul was still as pretty as she remembered her to be. “I am on vacation but I will go back to Sydney next week.” She still seemed cheerful. “What are you doing here?” She took a look behind Bom, to see who she was sitting with.

“Oh I’m just… sitting here,” I smiled, pointing at my seat and Seung Hyun subtly. I didn’t know if I had to introduce Seung Hyun or not. Hanbyul didn’t ask and she didn’t want to make Seung Hyun uncomfortable.

“I think I saw you were talking but I guess I was wrong.” Hanbyul chuckled and once again checked the seat behind where I was standing. “Well, I’m actually in a rush home right now so I’ll contact you again soon okay. You should check your email and reply me okay!” She gave me one last hug and waved as she walked away.

I waved until I could not see her anymore. Then I got back to my seat, still puzzled. Why that girl didn’t ask me anything about Seung Hyun? She clearly looked at her table couple of times and didn’t say anything. Weird. But I shrugged. It was good seeing her again after years and now that she got a job she didn’t need to be ashamed of anything anymore.

“Your friend?” Seung Hyun asked. He seemed to be listening.

I nodded. “My school friend. Isn’t she pretty?” I smiled at him, my eyes on the menu once again.

Seung Hyun didn’t reply me for some seconds as he followed me looking at the menu as well, until he said, “You’re prettier,” which made me stun once again. He wasn’t so talkative but the moment he spoke something, it always got me, making me unable to focus.

“T-thanks.” I stuttered. As I was looking at the menu again, I thought about Hanbyul. Was it just me or she didn’t see Hyun? I pondered. But I had no time to think about nonsense things as my stomach growled for the umpteenth time. Seung Hyun said he wasn’t that hungry so she ordered the food by herself.