“Sometimes, feelings change just like the seasons..”

“Is it really okay to let go of everything?”

I asked you this question with a great pain inside my heart. Nothing went well after that accident. You were still unable to remember me.

“How can I ‘let go’ of something like that? I don’t even remember!”

You tried so hard not to let the tears came out. You didn’t want to let me see your problem.

“Just leave me alone!” said you, leaving me outside your apartment.

I couldn’t help myself to think that you forgot about me totally. I didn’t want to admit that. I knew you needed time to bring back your memories about me.

Next days, I was still waiting for your memories to return. Next Days, I was still coming to your house. Next days, I was still smiling and telling it was okay, everything need a process. Next days and two months after, I was still hoping you would remember me, remember us.

But it was hopeless. My confidence dropped  little by little in each days. You still didn’t remember me. You didn’t even think about me anymore. You began to see another person. A beautiful woman who nursed you when you were in hospital. You left me.

 “Did you say something to her?”

You was so angry when you asked me that question. Your face reddened as you gritten your teeth. That was the first time I saw you so angry. Never ever once you lost your temper when we had a fight before. You always be the control one. You were furious because of my words that I said to your ‘new’ woman.

“Listen to me when I’m talking to you!”

You grab my collar and I forcely turned my body to face you. I tried so hard not to scream to you. I tried to be calm as long as I could.

“When exactly are you going to let me go?” asked you.

Now, your voice sounds tremble. You stopped for a while. Waiting for my response. But still, words didn’t came out from my lips.

“Stop living in the past!!!! You’re only making it hard for the both of us!” you yelled me, crying. I promised you once that I will always wiped all the tears that come out your eyes. But, that day, I was the one who made you cry.

“If you’d only remember me, I wouldn’t be like this!”

I couldn’t control my anger any longer. My hearts explode at the time you told me to stop living in the past.

“I already tried my best, what more can I..”

“You didn’t try enough!”  Trust me, I tried hard, Ri. I tried.

You was crying so hard until your body shake. I wanted to hug you actually, calming you like I used to. But my head wouldn’t allow me.

 “I’m not him!” said you, “I can never be him again, ok?!”

I couldn’t say anything. I wanted to yell you and told how pathetic you were, how hypocrite you were. Nothing went well inside my head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“It’s useless,”

I was on the rooftop with youngbae and daesung, my friends, our friends. I was still thinking about you.

“I’m sorry. It was because me. If only I didn’t tell him to join the competition in Gwangju he wouldn’t……”

“It’s not your fault, daesung-ah.. We are human, we couldn’t forecase what will happen.”  Youngbae said, as a wiser man among us.

“But, because of my incompetence, he..”

“Stop it, daesung ….” I said with a plain tone.

“He’s out of my reach now,”

I couldn’t help myself. I was hurt so much as tears came down on my cheek. I wouldn’t allow them seeing me crying like this. I wanted to keep it alone.

“The Seungri I know is gone forever. Don’t you understand that?”

I didn’t realize that my voice may hurted daesung at that time.

 “I will find a way!”

My friends told me that thing. Even though I knew they couldn’t do anything about it.

“He will remember you!” After they said that, they left me alone in this rooftop. Thinking about the sadnees and angriness in my heart. I don’t know. But, sometimes, when you’re sad, you don’t know what to do, it helps you to be angry. But then the tears come back again all the same, and you fall asleep with the salty taste of them on your lips

Night came by. I looked outside my window room. And I tried to recall our memories together...

“Tadaaa, is it cute?”

I heard someone behind me. It was you, wearing hanbok. Of course I was shocked to see you so beautiful wearing that.

“W-why areyou wearing that?” said me, wavering. Cheek blushed.

“So, it’s not cute..” said you, disappointed.

“No, it’s cute! Very cute!” I tried to fix my words.

As soon as I said that, your smile appeared again. you were so cute, though.

“It’s Chuseok, Hyung .. You should wear one too~~” said you with a pouted lips.

Then, the silent hung in the air. To tell you the truth, I didn’t know what to say at time like this.

“But your friends are over there,” I tried to make a conversation again

“I know,” said you, “I came here so you won’t be lonely.”

You then sat on the stairs.

“Who said I was lonely?!”

And I followed you sitting on the stairs too.

As I sat, I saw fireworks on the sky. It was so beautiful.

“Ah, it’s fireworks..”

We smile together. It was a beautiful night.

 Something made me stop thinking that nostalgic night. I felt a great pain inside my chest. I couldn’t breath. I couldn’t feel anything. The headache killed me. Suddenly, a crazy curiosity popped up my mind. If I died, will you feel sad? Will you cry?  I really wanted to figure that out. But this headache didn’t allow me. Then, the light dimmed.  It was a total dark. My memories fade away...

 I woke up the next morning. I saw you beside my bed. I didn’t know how could you came here. All I know is a little cheer suddenly fill my whole heart.

“This is just like back then. When I was sick, you were always there beside me and healed my wound. Remember?” asked me to you.

But you didn’t say a word.

“Don’t cry, Seungri-ah…” Said me, smiling

“Jiyong-shi, I..”

You held my hand. You gazed upon me with a strange look. I didn’t want to figure that out.

A/N : Did the story confuse you??? Truthfully, I just want to make this one as a two shot, but then it didn’t work well that way TT.TT  . Maybe A short chapter for the final hehehe

Anyway, Thanks for the time you took for reading and commenting. Sorry for couldn’t serve an interesting story #deep bow

Don’t think too much, and HAVE A HAPPY LIFE everyone ~~~~~~~~~~ ^_^