how we learned to hold hands
tintinnabulation: a series of chansoo drabbles/one shots
how we learned to hold hands
g
387 w.
five teenaged boys sit in one of the boys’ home movie theatre and stare at the screen, which is currently playing some type of 60’s horror flick with fake guts and ketchup blood. the boys are joonmyun, kyungsoo, sehun, yixing, and chanyeol.
joonmyun sits next to yixing on a loveseat and sehun sits in a lazyboy to the left of them. chanyeol and kyungsoo sit on the ground, covered by a plaid green blanket. all five of them are bored to death. chanyeol feels kyungsoo’s hand against his thigh. chanyeol thinks, “i should hold his hand.”
slowly, chanyeol shifts and kyungsoo does, too. kyungsoo takes the hand away from chanyeol’s thigh and chanyeol feels sad and unsure as to why he had wanted to hold kyungsoo’s hand in the first place. on the television, a woman with big hair is dying and screaming. chanyeol wants kyungsoo’s hand in his.
leaning over, chanyeol puts his mouth near kyungsoo’s ear and whispers, “i want to hold your hand.”
“what?” kyungsoo whispers back.
blindly, chanyeol reaches over to kyungsoo and begins to feel around his legs. kyungsoo turns his head and squints at chanyeol. chanyeol says, “your hand.”
“my hand?” kyungsoo asks. he moves his legs a little bit. chanyeol frowns.
“i want to hold it,” chanyeol mutters. “i want to hold it.”
“why?” kyungsoo continues to question. “are you scared of the movie.”
“no,” chanyeol replies, earnest. “i just want to feel your hand.”
“it is, like, sweating. i am warm,” kyungsoo says. “it’s gross.”
“no,” chanyeol shakes his head a little. “i want to feel your sweaty hand.”
“ew,” kyungsoo says. “that is so gross.”
“do you want to hold my hand, too,” chanyeol asks. “i want to hold your hand.”
kyungsoo bites his lower lip and looks down for a moment, where he has his hands. he slaps them together and holds his own hand. he says, “yeah, i do, i think.”
“okay,” chanyeol, once again, blindly looks for kyungsoo’s hand until kyungsoo places his hand in chanyeol’s. “i found it.”
“yeah,” kyungsoo says. “don’t let go, okay?”
“okay.”
they smile at each other and watch people that are already dead in real life die on screen. chanyeol thinks, ‘i feel glad to be holding kyungsoo’s hand, i feel glad to be sitting next to kyungsoo.’
joonmyun sits next to yixing on a loveseat and sehun sits in a lazyboy to the left of them. chanyeol and kyungsoo sit on the ground, covered by a plaid green blanket. all five of them are bored to death. chanyeol feels kyungsoo’s hand against his thigh. chanyeol thinks, “i should hold his hand.”
slowly, chanyeol shifts and kyungsoo does, too. kyungsoo takes the hand away from chanyeol’s thigh and chanyeol feels sad and unsure as to why he had wanted to hold kyungsoo’s hand in the first place. on the television, a woman with big hair is dying and screaming. chanyeol wants kyungsoo’s hand in his.
leaning over, chanyeol puts his mouth near kyungsoo’s ear and whispers, “i want to hold your hand.”
“what?” kyungsoo whispers back.
blindly, chanyeol reaches over to kyungsoo and begins to feel around his legs. kyungsoo turns his head and squints at chanyeol. chanyeol says, “your hand.”
“my hand?” kyungsoo asks. he moves his legs a little bit. chanyeol frowns.
“i want to hold it,” chanyeol mutters. “i want to hold it.”
“why?” kyungsoo continues to question. “are you scared of the movie.”
“no,” chanyeol replies, earnest. “i just want to feel your hand.”
“it is, like, sweating. i am warm,” kyungsoo says. “it’s gross.”
“no,” chanyeol shakes his head a little. “i want to feel your sweaty hand.”
“ew,” kyungsoo says. “that is so gross.”
“do you want to hold my hand, too,” chanyeol asks. “i want to hold your hand.”
kyungsoo bites his lower lip and looks down for a moment, where he has his hands. he slaps them together and holds his own hand. he says, “yeah, i do, i think.”
“okay,” chanyeol, once again, blindly looks for kyungsoo’s hand until kyungsoo places his hand in chanyeol’s. “i found it.”
“yeah,” kyungsoo says. “don’t let go, okay?”
“okay.”
they smile at each other and watch people that are already dead in real life die on screen. chanyeol thinks, ‘i feel glad to be holding kyungsoo’s hand, i feel glad to be sitting next to kyungsoo.’
feel good about being alive with the people you love
title stolen from a morbid, unrelated poem by matthea harvey
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