Explanation

I'm a Loner

Chapter 39 – Explanation

 

 

A few awkward, but no too uncomfortable, days passed with Seohyun staying at the house of the man that had abandoned her for almost six years. She wanted nothing more than to run into his room yell, act as immature as she could, and just beat him until he was unconscious. However, she was a guest in someone else’s home and she couldn’t do something so stupid. While in her mind Yonghwa was doing something much more stupid, she couldn’t bring herself to do something like that. Over the past few days, Seohyun had told Min Jung everything about the situation, putting Min Jung in a state of enragement. She wanted to do something, do anything, to at least get an explanation out of Yonghwa, but he wouldn’t even look her way. Now all that was left to do was to just wait and hope things would fix themselves soon.

“Yeah, I’m heading to work in a bit. I have some free time right now and I’m just walking around the streets for a little while. I don’t really want to go to work early and get scolded by the resident leader,” Seohyun spoke into the phone.

“Are you sure you won’t talk to Yonghwa today? Comon, you said you would get stronger. You are strong enough now to deal with this so just confront him. Seohyun… the more you delay this, the harder it will be to solve. Just promise me you’ll talk to him. If you don’t, I will,” Min Jung threatened before shutting off her phone.

“Min Jung! Hello? Hello?” she desperately asked. “Aish, Min Jung…” Seohyun knew she was being a little weak, but it wasn’t like she had a plan anyways. Although she wanted to talk to him herself, Min Jung would also do a good job of setting things straight. Min Jung’s methods were a little against what Seohyun stood for, but they would get the job done regardless. If she wanted to be strong, she would also have to confront Yonghwa about the situation at hand.

After finally making up her mind, Seohyun continued to walk towards the hospital at a slow pace. It had been a while since she took a walk around the city due to her being so busy. It was refreshing to see the busy streets once more, even if they were crowded and filled with loud people. While walking by a store, a beautiful sight caught her eye. A bridal shop had a few mannequins wearing elegant wedding dresses alongside their husbands wearing handsome tuxedos. In her dreams she had worn one of those so many times, yet in real life it didn’t seem like she would ever get to wear one. Curiosity got the best of her, forcing her to go inside the store and get a closer look.

“Omo, Seohyun-shi is that you?” called a female voice from behind. Seohyun turned around and noticed a petite woman wearing a wedding dress that seemed to be twice her size. The woman didn’t have her hair done nor had she any makeup on, but Seohyun was stunned by her beauty. “What a coincidence huh? I haven’t seen you around work in a few days. Maybe we’ve just been in different areas at different times.”

“Yeah, that sounds right,” Seohyun responded awkwardly. “How have you been Shin Hye-shi? I see you’re getting ready for a wedding.”

“Yeah, but to be honest, I’m really uncomfortable wearing this,” the smaller girl giggled. Seohyun’s admiritation of her beauty grew ten times larger upon seeing her smile. She had to admit that Shin Hye had a smile that would make even the grumpiest of men fall for her.

“I can tell,” Seohyun joked back. “Are you heading to the hospital after this? I was on my way there and just decided to drop in because I was curious. I guess I’m kind of weird huh?”

“No, not at all. Do you plan on getting married soon? If you do, you must let me come help you with the dress. Would you like to stay with me and help out? I don’t really have many friends since I’m always out helping the director with things. It would be a big help if I could have a fellow girl help me pick a few things out,” Shin Hye suggested. Something about Shin Hye’s demeanor made it impossible to say no to her. If Seohyun had to describe her in one word, it would be angelic. There was no denying that the man that was to be her husband would be especially happy.

“Sure, I would love to. We can go to the hospital together afterwards if you would like,” Seohyun politely agreed. “I haven’t really had time for friends either due to work, but I’ll gladly be yours. How far away is the wedding?”

“It’s in less than a month. Just 26 more days and I will be happily married to the smartest, handsomest, sweetest, and just most perfect man,” Shin Hye sighed. Seohyun smiled once more when she saw the way Shin Hye’s eyes twinkled as she described her future husband. “I heard he’s been giving you a hard time at work though. I’ll have to kick his a little for hurting a friend of mine.”

“Uh, I don’t understand what you mean. He’s been giving me a hard time? I don’t think I know who you’re talking about,” Seohyun confusedly replied.

“Of course you’ve met him,” Shin Hye asserted. “It’s that assistant director of ours. You know, Jung Yonghwa…” Suddenly a ton of bricks felt like they dropped on Seohyun. It surprised her how she was able to stand as she heard Shin Hye say she was marrying Yonghwa. All the energy in her body left her, just as it had the night they were reunited at his house. First Yonghwa disappears for six years and now he’s getting married too? The situation was almost unbelievable.

“Y-you’re getting married to Assistant Director Jung..?” Seohyun stuttered. “Congratulations. I heard he’s a very n-nice person.”

“Are you alright Seohyun-shi?” Shin Hye concernedly asked when she noticed her strange behavior. “You seem to be struggling to stay standing up right now. Your face just got a few shades paler and you look like you just saw a ghost. Are you sick?”

“No, no, I’m fine thank you. Oh, we have only a few minutes left if we want to make it to the hospital in time. I’m sorry to leave you, but I can’t risk being late to work or that Jae Min guy will kill me,” Seohyun lied. Of course she wanted to get to her job as to not get in trouble, but that wasn’t the only reason she was bailing out on Shin Hye.

“Ah, I totally forgot to think of you. Well, I can’t leave just yet because I’m still only halfway ready,” Shin Hye disappointedly stated. “Although I would have loved to go back to work with you and get closer, I’m still a little busy. Would you like to get a cup of coffee during one of the breaks?”

“Um, yeah, I would love to,” Seohyun hesitantly replied. “I’ll see you a bit later Shin Hye-shi. I hope you find everything you’re looking for. Goodbye.”

“Bye Seohyun-shi,” Shin Hye happily chirped. “I’ll see you at work.”

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Slow, heavy footsteps made their way towards Yonghwa as he looked over a few documents in the silent office. “Director, I’ve been looking at the records for the patient for which surgery is required. At first glance it looks like we will have to perform more than one surgery if we would like to save his life.”

“I’m not the director,” responded a familiar voice. “It’s nice to see you after six years.”

“Min Jung… what are you doing here?” Yonghwa asked as he turned around. “It’s been a while.”

“Hmph, it’s been six years last time I checked. A little more than a while if you ask me. Oh by the way, let me give you a little reunion present.” Unexpectedly, Min Jung closed the distance between them and gave Yonghwa a strong hook to the jaw. Before Yonghwa could recover from the force of the blow, another impact to the stomach brought him to his knees. “You’re a piece of trash…”

“What the hell… are you doing..?” Yonghwa managed to ask through coughs. “How did you even get in here?”

“That’s what’s important? I can’t even recognize you anymore. You’ve become so accomplished these past years yet you’re even lower than the person you once were,” Min Jung insulted. Anger continued to get the best of her and she threw yet another punch at his face. A familiar metallic taste made its way into Yonghwa’s mouth, indicating she had busted his lip open.

“Keep it coming Min Jung,” Yonghwa taunted.

“You deserve this punishment and more.” Another quick jab at his stomach made him lurch over in pain, leaving him wide open for a swift kick to the side. She wished she could use her full strength on him, but if she did he would end up breaking a few things if he fell. Min Jung decided she needed to use enough for to cause him pain, but not to tear apart his office. “You want more?”

“Yeah,” he coughed out. “I deserve it all. Just kill me now.”

“You make me sick Yonghwa,” Min Jung stated in a hate-filled voice. “I can’t believe I ever liked a piece of trash like you. You’re despicable and there are no other words to describe it.”

“This is about Seohyun isn’t it..?” Yonghwa asked as he tried to regain his breath. “If it is, then get lost. I’m not in the mood for this and I have a lot of work to do.”

“Your work is more important than keeping that promise to the girl that gave you everything she had? Is this the extent of your love? What happened to you saying you would come back after four years and make her your wife? Tell me Yonghwa, what the hell happened to that!?” The man on the ground painfully stood up and walked over to the chair he had been sitting in. Min Jung could tell he was at least ashamed since he wasn’t even looking her in the eyes.

“Min Jung, you don’t know the whole story so just leave me alone. Who are you to come and lecture me about this?” Yonghwa asked in an arrogant voice.

“Oh, this is just what I needed. You’ve fallen so far… I just can’t believe you right now. How can someone like you be so stupid? All that intelligence is going to waste on a person like you,” Min Jung continued to insult. “So are you even going to bother to explain yourself? Should I just leave here and let you ruin your life along with Seohyun’s?”

“You think I’m the one who left Seohyun? She’s the one who left me,” Yonghwa defended. “You don’t know the whole story and I don’t know what you heard from others, so be quiet.”

“Tell me what happened when you came back to Korea. You left in April of the fourth year and after that I couldn’t even find your cell phone number. You just disappeared after that without a trace. How am I supposed to believe anything you say after doing that?” Min Jung asked angrily. Her anger was starting to get the best of her again and she was so close to throwing another punch at him.

Yonghwa stared at the ground for a few minutes more before sighing deeply. “Do you know why I wanted to come back to Korea so early? I finished my degree in my third year from all the summer courses I took. I was ready to come back after the third year there, but I waited since that’s what Seohyun wanted. I told you I wanted to surprise her, but that’s not the only reason I came back.”

“Why are you just telling us this now?”

“Just let me explain everything,” Yonghwa calmly ordered.  “When I went to the office of scholarships and financial aid, I found a note left by my scholarship donor. It was from Seohyun’s company and the note said all kinds of stupid bull.” Yonghwa pulled out a sheet of paper from a folder in his desk and passed it to Min Jung. “That’s it right there.”

“Yonghwa, you honestly believe this piece of rubbish?” Min Jung asked disbelievingly. Her eyes skimmed the page over and over in order to try to make sense of the paper. “You already know Seohyun’s dad is an idiot and keeps trying to break you guys up. Seriously now… “

“I know, I’m not stupid Min Jung. Although I did feel a little betrayed at first because Seohyun lied to me about the scholarship, I dropped my anger. Seohyun never lies to me, but when I read that paper, I couldn’t help but feel a little doubt in my mind. Min Jung, I’m only human, of course I would doubt something even if I didn’t want to.”

“Yonghwa, how could you doubt Seohyun? Sure she lied to you, but it was for your own good,” Min Jung pointed out.

“Yeah, I know. I did doubt her a little, but my heart kept telling me it was all one big fat lie. Anyways, I came back to Korea and looked for her. I asked everyone where she was and I couldn’t find her at all. I figured that she wasn’t around because she didn’t know I was back in Korea,” Yonghwa explained. Min Jung sat down on the desk in front of him and looked at him with a pity-filled stare. His voice didn’t sound like someone that had left Seohyun willingly.

“I can see why you doubted her, but that’s no reason to have left her for six years,” Min Jung interrupted.

“It wasn’t just that Min Jung. Finally after waiting out a month, I went to look for her at home. I found her mother and her father there and they took me in without a problem. I was actually surprised that they didn’t immediately kick me out of the house right then and there,” Yonghwa managed to joke. “I talked to them and they said that Seohyun was out of the country and that she wasn’t going to come back.”

“And you believed that?”

“Stop interrupting me. I waited and waited and waited and waited, but nothing happened. Seohyun never returned to her house, nor could I reach her cell phone. None of her friends could reach her and it was as if she disappeared off the face of the earth. Don’t come blaming me for leaving her for six years since it was her that left me,” Yonghwa angrily defended himself. “I kept looking for her at her house for all the four years I spent in medical school, but I couldn’t find her.”

“Yonghwa, Seohyun left her house for good after you left,” Min Jung pointed out. “Seohyun left the country with her brother for a month, but she came back to see you. You came in April and she was gone that whole month. She came back to Korea in May, thinking you would come back to get her. She’s been waiting these six years for you too. This story doesn’t make any sense if you ask me.”

“I know I’m stupid for believing any lies, but it hurt me to think that she left. Min Jung… I seriously waited for a long time for her to come back. I suppose this is both of our faults for falling out of contact with each other, but she’s more to blame than I am,” Yonghwa reasoned.

“This isn’t time for playing the blame game Yonghwa. The only person here to blame is that arrogant father of hers. Why the hell did you two let him break you up? Is this really the strength of the love you had for her? Tell me please why you did that to her,” Min Jung begged. All the anger in her voice had all disappeared leaving only a tone of desperation. Even though it wasn’t her that had been left by him, she almost felt like crying. She hated seeing her two friends being separated by such stupid circumstances.

“Min Jung, do you think I had fun all these years not being with her? I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” Yonghwa stated in a distressed voice. Min Jung had rarely seen Yonghwa act so vulnerable so she knew there was a deep reason for him to have been apart from her for so long. It almost sounded like the thoughts she used to have back when she was alone.

“You know I can read you like a book right? We come from the same darkness and loneliness Yonghwa, don’t lie to me. Just tell me what you really feel right now,” Min Jung suggested. “I can tell there’s something you haven’t said. What are you feeling right now?”

“Min Jung, I feel like dying. I… I felt abandoned when Seohyun disappeared. If by what you say, she’s not at fault, but still. When I waited for her for all that time and she didn’t come back, I was reminded of what my dad did to me as a child. I didn’t want to feel that same state of abandonment. Min Jung, you’ve been there before, it’s not fun,” he explained sadly.

“Yonghwa, I understand exactly the pain you feel, but don’t you think you were really stupid to let that get the best of you?”

“Yeah, I know. I told myself every day over and over that she hadn’t disappeared. I told myself to believe in her and that her dad was just lying. Min Jung, that loneliness… that abandonment… it will never leave me. Even with Seohyun at my side, I won’t ever forget how much of a lonely person I once was. I know I shouldn’t have let that feeling get the best of me, but that darkness is much too powerful to escape,” he continued explaining. Now Min Jung sort of understood his reasons. Although to anyone else, his reasons would seem stupid, they weren’t all that outrageous.

“So in order to not feel abandoned you ditched her? Yonghwa, don’t you realize that you did the same thing to her. Look, I don’t know the whole story, but I think you should set things straight with her. She will forgive you, I know she will. Do you still love her?” Min Jung asked hopefully. “From what I see here, this is just one big stupid misunderstanding. I can see you still want to be with her, but you’re afraid you’ll get abandoned again. You don’t have to act tough in front of me Yonghwa, I know what you’re feeling. Loving someone is trusting them enough to not abandon you. Why did you forget that?”

“Min Jung, nothing I can say will justify me abandoning her. I looked for her at first, but I gave up because of my stupidity. If you say she’s willing to start over do you think she will let me?”

“Yeah, I’m sure she would if you just explained everything. Yonghwa, I understand your feelings, but you are the only one to blame here. You let those stupid lies her dad fed you get in between your love for her. You have to fix this, not her. Do you want to fix this?” Min Jung asked. Yonghwa finally raised his eyes from the floor and gave her a deep stare. She could see the same loneliness and darkness she had once felt as a child. As much as she wanted to be mad at him for not looking for Seohyun, she had to understand. The trauma he felt as a child had scarred him for life and it was taking its toll on him.

“Min Jung, I still love her. I haven’t forgotten her for a single second of my life. Every time I think of the past, the only thing that comes into my mind is the fun we all had back in high school,” Yonghwa admitted. “When I saw her at my house a few days back I wanted to do nothing more than to just make her mine right then and there. It took all my self-control to not jump on her and tell her how sorry I was to have done that.”

“You can fix this. Just talk to her tonight and make everything right again. Yonghwa, your feelings might not be enough justification for anyone else, but I don’t believe that. You felt abandoned and betrayed because of lies, it’s not entirely your fault,” Min Jung reassured him. Once she saw him begin to tear up, she knew it was time to get out of there. She had already gotten her point across and there was no reason to torture him any longer.

“I can’t do that now Min Jung.  I’ll apologize to her all I can, but that’s as far as it’s going to go,” Yonghwa pointed out. “You’ll see why in due time.”

“Yonghwa, this is your fight not mine. I can’t tell you what to do, but as a friend I’m advising you to meet with her and fix everything. If you decided to forgive one another, come talk to me. Jung Yonghwa, if you don’t make up with her… you’ll have Lee Min Jung to hate you for the rest of your life,” she threatened. Yonghwa knew Min Jung didn’t make empty threats, but he wasn’t going to heed her warning. If he confessed he still loved Seohyun, he would be dragging an innocent person with him.

“Min Jung, I appreciate you coming here,” Yonghwa thanked sincerely. “I’ll see what I do after I clear my head. I promise I won’t let my stupid feelings of loneliness get the best of me anymore.”

“I’ll see you later Yonghwa. Call me if you decide to make up with Seohyun. If you aren’t planning on it, then forget I exist. Later,” Min Jung said goodbye with an unenthusiastic wave. Without even a second glance at him, she stepped out of the office and left him to think of what he was going to do next.

“Min Jung! Wait!” Yonghwa yelled out loudly through the halls when he finally decided he was going to do. “Aish… where did she go?”

“Yonghwa,” Shin Hye called as soon as he walked out of his office. Yonghwa noticed the small girl that was his bride-to-be carrying a large pink box with a white ribbon on it. She was standing outside the door quietly, possibly waiting for him to come out. “I got the dress,” she stated in a voice that didn’t sound too excited.

“Shin Hye… how long have you been waiting out here?” Yonghwa asked hesitantly. If she heard everything he said, he would be free to be with Seohyun again. However, he would be leaving someone like that for the second time in his life. He wanted to yell out a string of curses at himself for being so stupid. Shin Hye had accompanied him through the times he hadn’t had Seohyun around, but he didn’t love her. Once again, he was using someone to make himself feel better.

“I just got here. Who was that woman?” she asked softly. “And why are you so beat up?”

“I just had a rough time with an old friend. Nothing to be worried about,” Yonghwa responded. “If the director comes back tell him I’m on an errand alright? Sorry to leave you at an important time like this. I promise I’ll go see you later and help you with the wedding preparations.” With those words Yonghwa sped off through the halls, leaving his dejected fiancée with the wedding dress in her hands.

“I knew Seohyun seemed familiar,” Shin Hye whispered to herself. Many years ago she had seen Yonghwa carrying around a picture of his ex-girlfriend. She had shared all those years of pain and suffering with Yonghwa, believing that one day he would love her for real. For her, his affection was enough, but if they were to get married, it wouldn’t be. “Yonghwa, that Min Jung girl knows what she’s talking about,” Shin Hye told nobody in particular. “You’re the biggest idiot in the world.”

“Min Jung!” Yonghwa continued to yell through the halls. “! Where are you?” Yonghwa ran a hand through his hair and scratched violently. He still needed to get a few answers from Min Jung yet she was nowhere to be found. He ran through each corridor, looking for the girl that had come to talk him back into his senses. While running, he bumped into someone forcefully. “Oh, I’m sorry for running into you. Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine thank you,” yet another familiar voice replied. “Oh, Yonghwa! What a coincidence meeting you here. Are you a doctor here?” Uee eyed the coat and the ID tag on him which indicated his status.

“I’m the assistant director here. How have you been all this time?” Yonghwa asked politely. It was a bit awkward to meet Uee after so many years, but they had sort of been friends after all. “Are you  here because you’re sick?”

“I’ve been doing well. I’m here with my daughter since she sprained her ankle while playing soccer today,” Uee replied in a similar polite manner. “They told me she would be in there for a while so do you have time to grab a cup of coffee?” Yonghwa stared at the hands on his watch and nodded in response. Min Jung was probably long gone by now and he could possibly still get information out of Uee too. “Lead the way.” The pair silently walked towards the cafeteria on the first floor of the hospital. The silence wasn’t as awkward as they thought it would be, making the walk sort of comfortable.

“Your daughter is turning ten this year?” Yonghwa asked before sipping his coffee. “She’s probably really pretty too.”

“Yeah, Yu Mi is really grown now. She’s a really smart girl and she’s really interested in sports. Min Jung and her get along pretty well,” Uee responded with a smile on her face.

“You’re in contact with Min Jung?”

“Yeah, we’re like best friends now. Who would have guessed?” the young mother joked. “You don’t know about the organization I started. After I got out of college I noticed how many single mothers there are in this world. Min Jung and I have been all over the world helping out unfortunate mothers get through their lives much more easily. It doesn’t really pay, but I have money to burn. My parents were really supportive of me when I told them I was pregnant. It wasn’t too hard on me, but that doesn’t mean others don’t suffer. I know I’ll never be able to help everyone, but I’ll try my hardest to get there.”

“Wow, it seems like the Kim Yu Jin I once knew is back to life. Careful or else I might start liking you again,” Yonghwa teased.

“You know I’m a little disappointed in you Yonghwa. You didn’t live up to the promises you made when you left. You promised Seohyun you would come back to her,” Uee began. “You also promised me you would be an even greater man than you once were. You’re a big shot at this hospital and I bet you’re really successful, but you’re less than the man I once knew.”

“I know Uee, I know…” Yonghwa admitted. “It’s my fault that all that happened, but I’ll try to set it as right as I can. I’m sorry I didn’t live up to my promises to you.”

“It’s fine. You don’t have to answer to me at all. I can’t judge you for anything you’ve done. I know that in the end you’ll be the person that I once knew.”

“I can’t promise you anything yet, but I’ll work hard to fix all the stupid things I did,” Yonghwa assured. Uee’s smile returned to her face upon hearing him back to his old self. The Yonghwa she once knew wasn’t someone that would let anything keep him down. Hearing the confidence in his voice made her realize he would live up to his promises, even if they were a little late.

“At least you’re better than that piece of trash of a father Yu Mi has…”

“So, how is Seung Ri doing? I remember him only having around 10 years on his sentence. With money and good behavior he would have been let out sooner. Have you seen him?” Although Yonghwa didn’t want to remind her of the pain that bastard had caused her, he needed to know. Seung Ri had vowed he would get his revenge after all.

“I saw him once when Yu Mi kept asking for her father. I went to visit him believing that he had changed his corrupt ways, but I was wrong. I did have feelings for him and I sincerely wished he would see the error of his ways when he saw his child,” Uee sadly stated. Her eyes focused on her coffee cup as she fiddled with the lid nervously. “He won’t be coming out any time soon. Seung Ri got into some kind of prison fight and ended up seriously injuring someone. They told me he would be in there until he was at least 50. If he did something stupid like that, I’m sure he will end up dead before his term is up.”

“Uee… I mean Yu Jin… cheer up. You’re a completely successful mother. You are the greatest role model a daughter could have. You don’t need a man next to you so you can do a good job. With someone like me or Seung Ri by your side, you’d only feel pain. Just focus on your daughter and you’ll be fine.”

“Umma!” a little girl called out. “How come you left me all alone?” Yonghwa laughed at the little girl running towards her mom crying loudly. He could tell that she was acting a little jealous, possibly because of him. “Why are you with this person?”

“Calm down, Yu Mi, this is an old friend of mine. Yonghwa, this is my daughter Kim Yu Mi. Yu Mi, this is my good friend from high school, Jung Yonghwa,” Uee introduced. The little girl dropped her angry attitude once she looked up at the man in front of her. Almost instantly a blush found its way onto her face and she ran to hide behind her mother’s legs. “What’s wrong Yu Mi?”

“Tell him to stop smiling at me like that umma…” the little girl shyly ordered. Yonghwa broke out into laughter once he heard the embarrassing request. It looked like the little girl had been struck by his charming smile at first sight.

“Nice to meet you Yu Mi. You’re just as pretty as your mom,” he complimented. “Come on out of there, I won’t hurt you.” The little girl’s blush grew even deeper at the compliment from the assistant director. Yonghwa pulled out a lollipop in his jacket and handed it to the frightened girl. “Next time you’re playing soccer, be more careful. I would rather not see a pretty girl like you with a broken leg.”

“O-oppa… you’re so handsome. Do you have a girlfriend?” the girl asked out of nowhere.

“Yu Mi!” her mother scolded. “Why are you being like this?”

“Umma, wouldn’t you like this oppa to be my daddy? Oppa, will you marry my mom? I would love to have a daddy like you. All the girls on my soccer team get picked up by their dads but I don’t have one,” the little girl stated sadly. Yonghwa’s eyes began to water once he realized the little girl was on her way to becoming something like him from being abandoned by her father. “I’ll make all the girls jealous if I have such a handsome dad like you.”

“I’m sorry Yu Mi, but I’m already committed to someone. Even without a dad, you have to be happy okay? If you ever get sad because your dad is gone, just play soccer alright? If you get really, really, good then it won’t matter if those girls have a dad,” Yonghwa assured her. “If you bring a first place trophy home, I’ll be sure to set up a party for you.”

“Okay, I’ll definitely bring home a trophy!” the nine-year-old chirped.

“Yonghwa, you’re a good person,” Uee told him. “This happiness you bring has to be Seohyun’s and you know that. I don’t know what you’re going to do, but please make up with her. I’m sure she needs someone like you in her life.”

“I’ll see what I can do Yu Jin, but I can’t make any promises.”

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Seohyun paced anxiously from one side of her room to the other. Her stomach growled over and over since she hadn’t gotten to eat dinner with the guys due to her being late. Lunch hadn’t been possible with the amount of work she had on top of the big news Shin Hye had dropped on her in the morning.  She was much too polite to ask for food at this time of the night and no place would be open that late at night. Finally, she decided to swallow her pride and just grab something out of the fridge and apologize later.

Slowly, Seohyun made her way to the kitchen but stopped herself in front of the fridge. Her polite manner got in her way again as she reached for the fridge door. Instead of getting what she came for, she sat down at the small table there and rested her head on it. “Aish, Seohyun, just get up and get the food,” she told herself. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” A loud crashing sound shook her out of her thoughts, forcing her to pretend she was asleep. Much to her discomfort, Yonghwa had just walked into the house and headed into the kitchen.

“Aish, this girl…” he whispered to himself. Yonghwa had wanted to talk to her the whole day but he hadn’t even gotten his thoughts straight. The fact that she was also asleep made it impossible to talk now. Before leaving the kitchen, a loud rumbling sound rang through the dark room. Seohyun felt like letting out a bunch of insults for her stomach but then she would have to deal with Yonghwa. A smile made its way onto his face and he began to dig through the fridge. Seohyun heard the man dump a bunch of food into a plate and begin to mix it.

“Yah, woman, get up. I know you’re awake,” Yonghwa ordered gruffly. “Here, eat this.” Yonghwa shoved the bowl over to her on the table and sat across from her.

“Why should I eat this?” she questioned sassily.

“It has cheese in it. I was a little hungry since I didn’t eat dinner, but I screwed up that food. I can’t see in the dark too well and I accidently threw in some cheese,” Yonghwa lied. “Just eat it so it doesn’t go to waste.” Seohyun gave him a knowing smile and suppressed her laughter. It was obvious he was just lying to get her some food and she was grateful for it.

“Thanks. So how was work today?” she asked in order to prevent awkward silences going.

“Seohyun, I’m engaged to Shin Hye,” Yonghwa confessed out of the blue.

“I know,” Seohyun responded firmly. “I found out about it from her this morning.”

“Will you let me explain everything to you? Is it okay for you to give me a second chance? I know it won’t be the same as before, but can we at least be on speaking terms?” Yonghwa asked in desperation. He felt like he didn’t deserve even a glance from her, much less forgiveness.

“Yonghwa, you have nothing to apologize about. I heard it all from Min Jung. This isn’t your fault alone. It’s my fault as well for leaving you when I didn’t know what was going on. While I will admit that I feel like you made this happen, in the end I know it was my stupid father. Yonghwa, I told you this before you left all those years back: I don’t regret anything I’ve ever done with you,” Seohyun assured him. There was no fear in her voice, only pure determination. The tables had turned since they had last seen each other. Usually Yonghwa was the one with the strong resolve while Seohyun doubted herself.

“Seohyun, I’m sorry for everything. I know I should have kept believing in you, but I couldn’t help it. I didn’t know you had cut all ties with your family completely. You never told me any of that when we still talked. You kept telling me how awesome your brother was and everything so I assumed you were still with him,” Yonghwa explained. Seohyun had to admit that the whole thing was a huge misunderstanding due to the lack of proper communication.

“I messed up too so don’t be sorry. I was going to surprise you by showing you that I could get through life alone. I never told you I completely left my family for good and that is one of the reasons we broke up. You pulled some stupid mildang bull and showed up at my front door at the wrong time,” Seohyun laughed. “This is some stupid joke the gods play isn’t it. Why is it that we have had so much against us from the beginning?”

“This isn’t a joke Seohyun. I can go on and on about how much pain I felt when I thought you abandoned me, but I won’t. I can tell you about how much sadness I felt when I couldn’t find you, but I won’t. All I can tell you know is that I’m sorry that I screwed up so much and let your father get in between us,” Yonghwa apologized with the most sincere voice he would use.

“Yonghwa, I still love you and I will my whole life. I told myself I would be strong and I intend to keep that promise. It may look like I’m taking the coward’s way out of this, but I’m not. I believe that letting you go is what a strong person would do. Even though it looks like I’m running away from the situation, I’m using all my strength to not catch up to you and keep you from leaving,” Seohyun explained. The chopsticks in her hand dropped into the bowl and she focused all her attention to the person sitting across from her. Yonghwa had an equally focused expression, indicating that her feelings weren’t just one-sided.

“Should I just end it with Shin Hye? Do you know how hard it is for me to see you almost crying right now? I want nothing more than to just flip this table over and hold you forever,” Yonghwa confessed. “Why does this happen to us? I need to know why the whole world is against us all the time.” The distressed man took his hands and placed them over his face in frustration. It angered him that he was always making stupid decisions because of his past, but the damage was now done.

“Yonghwa, I’m not a god so I don’t know the answer to that. Even if this was all one big game the gods were playing on us, you have control of your own life. In this game, you control your own movements and your own pieces. Just promise me that whatever decision you do take, it will be one that you’re 100% certain of,” Seohyun begged. Yonghwa couldn’t believe how supportive the girl in front of him was being.

“Do you not have any pride Seohyun? Why are you doing this to yourself? Why would you take me back even if I left you for so many years?”

“I promised you I would wait even twenty years for you remember?” Seohyun reminded with a sad smile on her face. “Yonghwa, I’m too tired to deal with this anymore. It’s been ten years already and enough is enough. I hate to tell you this, but I won’t wait forever. It’s either Shin Hye or me, you pick. I’m being selfish, but I don’t give a damn. Shin Hye is a wonderful person, but my happiness comes before someone else’s.”

“Seohyun…”

“This is me showing you my strength Yonghwa. If you decide too late, I’m done with you. Ten years is long enough. You didn’t keep your promise of coming back to me, so I won’t keep my promise of waiting for you. It will hurt me to know that I lost you forever, but I’m strong enough now to deal with it. I don’t need you by my side to live, so you better make a good choice,” Seohyun warned. Yonghwa would rather have had her completely flip out than hear what she had just said. Her threats sounded so serious that he feared for what the future had in store for him.

“I can’t answer you now Seohyun. I really can’t,” Yonghwa explained. “You’ve changed since I last saw you. The Seohyun I knew would have told me to stay with Shin Hye so I didn’t hurt someone innocent.”

“I don’t want to hurt an innocent person, that’s not my intention. I’m done playing games Yonghwa. There are millions of suitable people out in the world that would love to take me in their arms. If you make a bad choice on this, I won’t ever see you again. This time, however, it will be on purpose,” she threatened once more. “Thanks for the food. Have a good night.” Seohyun finished the remaining rice in her bowl and gave it a quick wash in the sink before heading towards her new room. Yonghwa stared at her as she walked away and into the darkness where he couldn’t see her. Now that he knew Seohyun still wanted him by her side, he was even more confused at the situation.

 

 

Author’s Note: Warning!!! This author’s note will be realllllllllly long BUT I would really like your feedback on what I have to say.  PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THIS OFFENSIVELY as they are just my recent thoughts. Sorry for the rant :(

So first let me thank all of you who have been behind me through thick and thin ever since the beginning. Last chapter when I broke Seohyun and Yonghwa up, I had a ton of responses. Some were very favorable and some were almost saddening. That night when I read everyone’s comments, I felt terrible. I know I had many comments that said “Oh I can’t wait to read more!!” or “Oh my god the suspense is killing me!” and I appreciate those. However the comments that told me how bad the story was going and how they were disappointed in my plot and writing made me feel a billion times worse.

I spent that whole night thinking of ways to get myself out of the hole I had created by splitting them apart. So many ideas came into my head, but they were all bull. All the ideas that I had were just easy and stupid ways for me to easily get out of the mess I caused. After I woke up the next day I realized that it would be stupid of me to just bull my way out of this. I had a little help from a few people, but they made me realize that I should just go with what I want. Sure you guys are my driving force for writing, but I will do what I want from now on.

Many people were disappointed with the plot and I apologize for that. If it’s becoming a cliché Korean drama that is similar to every story out there, then I apologize. If you’re not satisfied with the plot, I apologize for that. However, I’m done doubting myself. I don’t care if 125 out of my 126 subscribers tell me I’m a bad writer, as long as 1 of the 126 is by my side, I’ll continue doing what I want, regardless. Authors should be ready for criticism and I gladly take it. However, it’s not enough to discourage me from going about this story how I want to.

You don’t like the story? Too damn bad. You don’t like my plot? Well, why are you still here? I know I sound like a bad person saying this stuff, but that’s just how I’m thinking now. If you aren’t satisfied with what I write, then kindly leave, unsubscribe and do whatever you want but just do it quietly. I know I should be ready to deal with criticism, but I’m much too tired to care about haters now. I’m not trying to single anyone out with this, I’m just stating what’s on my mind. I hope I didn’t offend anyone with what I am saying. It hasn’t happened yet, but if you hate you’ll get a visit from the block button. Oh and you may get pictures like this linked to you:

 

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Yonghwa’s reason for not contacting Seohyun may seem trivial to some people, but not to me. I know what it feels like to feel betrayed by someone. Even if you feel like an idiot for letting it get the best of you, you’ll fall for a trap. No matter how much you believe in someone, we’re only human and we will never be perfect. If you don’t think that Yonghwa’s feeling of being abandoned is something worthy of being the reason for not seeing her, well sorry for you. For now I’m just going to go with what I had planned even if it seems ridiculous or outrageous. Many of you will think I’m putting in too much drama and dragging it out, but I don’t care. I warned everyone that after the prom chapter it would be draggy. If you didn’t heed that warning and you continued the story and now you’re upset, I won’t feel pity for you.

I know it seems outrageous for me to be going on such a rant, but I was really adamant about a few things that happened that day. I’m not going into details, but I’m just really trying my hardest for you all. Once again, I hope nobody goes crazy on me for doing this lol.

P.S. I didn’t update on the weekend because I was actually working on the cabin scene one shot. I got in the mood (as awkward as that sounds) to write a rated scene so I’ll be putting that on here soon. It will be a separate chapter and not technically part of this one since this is not a rated story. All you little byuntaes out there finally convinced me to work on it. I hope I can write up a good steamy scene of YongSeo iness.

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malika
#1
Chapter 43: I am done reread this story ❤️
iBelieveYSIR #2
Chapter 43: January 7th 2019, I just finished re-reading this fic. :) ❤️
Wilhemina #3
Chapter 43: Finished reading this again
Wilhemina #4
Chapter 38: This chapter always makes me want to cry
Wilhemina #5
Chapter 43: The ending, so beautiful
Wilhemina #6
Chapter 42: Awwwwwww
Wilhemina #7
Chapter 40: Wow, what have you done to Seohyun?
P.s I mean that in the best possible way
Wilhemina #8
Chapter 39: Good job author-nim. Keep on writing. Hwaiting
Wilhemina #9
Chapter 38: For the third time, mood:http://www.laughinggif.com/view/f3y2mlnmto/1.html
Wilhemina #10
Chapter 32: Mood once again: http://www.laughinggif.com/view/f3y2mlnmto/1.html