Indirect Confession
Until We Meet Again (On Hold - Massive Editing)
Jiyong grabbed you out of the fire exit and walk you up to the rooftop. All of the people are enjoying their night at the hall so there's no one is there now. For him, that's the perfect place for you to talk. You saw him lit a stick of cigarette. Since you really want to release your tension from all the things that just happened, you snatch the stick from his mouth and smoke it to yourself. Jiyong was startled.
"Yah! What do you think you're doing?" He get his cigarette from your hands.
"Then give me one please." you said in defeat and shame. How could you do that silly thing to Jiyong. FML
"Since when do you smoke?" Jiyong shouted at you. He dislike girls who smokes that's why he's so affected when you snatched his cigarette and smoked it. But even he know now that you do smoking, it doesn't matter at all. He just give you the stick that you snatched earlier.
"I smoke when I'm nervous, confuse or anxious. Yah, Don't shout I'm not deaf!" you explained cooly. You accept the stick and smoke it once again and return it to him. Jiyong let you smoke as long as you share it with him and that's enough. You both lean on the bars at the edge of the rooftop while sharing one cigarette stick. That's very unusual to share because you're not that even close to each other but there's a pinch of happiness in your heart.
"So........." you tried to break the silence with that word.
"So what now?" he said to you while staring at the dark blue sky.
You were the one who wanted to talk but you don't know how and where to start. You know that Jiyong is waiting for you to say something but there's some energy that keep your mouth shut. Not now, I don't have enough time to back up. I need to do this.
"Okay, Let me go straight to the point, Don't talk as long as I'm not done okay? you can rebut after. " you face him as you said it. He just nod and stare at you.
"I tried to live normal as I can after I went back home. But this silly thing called fate put some joke on me again after a year so I had to go back here again. You asked me before at the waiting shed if that was the first time I met you. I know that you know that I'm lying when I said yes. If you think that I planned all of these just to meet you again then you're wrong. I didn't know that my friend is also Youngbae-ssi's friend, I didn't know that you were there at the coffee shop. I tried to act like we didn't meet last year because I know it was not a big deal in the first place. Why don't you just trust all the things I've said on the note that I left you before. You don't have to worry about my existence. Why don't we just move on and forget things." you said it so fast like you're rapping then release a deep sigh.
"I hope you're done. Since I let you have your piece, you should lend me your ears and listen carefully. At first, I'm not really sure who are you way back when we were at the coffee shop but I feel that there's something in you that I need to know. But then, I realized that you're the girl whom I slept with last year, the girl who made me look like a fool, and the girl who left me hanging and worse abandoned me...."
"Woah woah, that's too much, what's wrong with you? yes I slept with you but how can you tell that I made you look like a fool and abandoned you? I just know where to place myself so I left you and not hanging. You should have just thanked me for doing that. I did what's best for me and for you Jiyong!" you snapped in to make him stop.
"I said listen to me first! Try to do what you preach ______-ssi, don't talk when I'm not done yet." Jiyong shouted.
"Okay okay but you are exaggerating things" you answered him back.
"Exaggerating things? You're the one who is exaggerating! How could you say that it's not a big deal for me? I should have thanked you? for what? for leaving me without permission? I guess you and your judgment are mistaken. You only did what's best for you! You don't even think what I'm going to feel that time and really left me hanging." Jiyong said loudly.
"Yes! you should have thanked me not bragging about what happened! I knew what you feel that's why I left without bugging you. Why are you saying those things to me? You should tell me that it was just a freaking one night stand, that's it! Just tell me it's nothing and make me forget it! Please Kwon Jiyong, please! It's easier like that." you almost shouted. You don't know what's happening with him. You're confused to those things that he said. He's affected like you all this time. You were shocked after listening to what he said, his voice that's full of anger, disappointment, and sadness. This kind of conversation is not what you expect to happen.
"It was just a one night stand........................"
Okay, Here you go. He said the things that you want to hear. We're done here. Painful huh? accept it since you're eager to hear it.
You take away your gaze from him and just look at the ground. You are speechless and almost in tears but you control them not to fall. As you open your mouth to say something, Jiyong continue what he's saying.
"That's what I thought to myself before but when I read your note I realized that it was more than just a one night stand. And the fact that I was your first, I don't think that It was just a one-night stand for you too. Why don't you tell me that?" he continued and went straightly to you. He cupped your face so you can see him. Jiyong remember all the things that Seungri told him about what happened to you before after that night.
"I admit, it wasn't a one-night stand for me either. I mean obviously it was not." you stuttered.
"Sorry _________-ssi, I'm very sorry for making your life miserable for almost a year now." He said to you gently with full of sincerity. You were astonished and speechless. You realized that he was right that your judgment is wrong. You thought that all the celebrities including Jiyong prefer one night stands without commitments. Now you are so ashamed to yourself. You only did was best for you and you didn't think his feelings when you left his room because you're scared. He was right that you made him look like a fool.
Yes you should be sorry for stealing my ity, for making my heart beat like crazy, for making me fall in love with you. Your inner self is shouting but..
"Don't be Jiyong-ssi. I should be the one to say that. I'm sorry for making a fool out of you. Now I realized that I at drinking and I at judging people. I remember that time when I didn't even know you're the real G-dragon before." You tried to lighten the mood by joking. He smile as he see you smiling. Your heart begins to beat like crazy after you saw his child-like smile. Not now please, you scaredy cat! Your inner self is really mad at you right now. You should confess what you feel.
"I hope we make things clear now." Jiyong said. You gave him a sigh with a sweet smile.
No not yet, I'm gonna tell you what I really feel.
"I guess so." you answered and turned your back at him.
Just like your inner self, you're not satisfied. You have to follow what's in your plan. You said to yourself before that you will confess what you really feel. You have to do this since time is ticking away. But since you know to yourself that you can't confess right away verbally you suddenly think some other thing to do, not to run, this time it's far from running away.
After a few steps you decided to walk back to Jiyong and hugged him for the last time. You don't care what will be his reaction even if he reject you or not. As long as you say it, you know that you will be as light as a feather without any regrets.
"Jiyong-ssi......remember that having you in my life even just for that night is one of the most beautiful things that happened to me. Aside for being sorry about what I said and thought about you before, I will be forever thankful." you said to him while hugging him. You unchained your arms from his body after that then you cupped his face and sealed it with your sweetest kiss. Jiyong couldn't help to be startled because of what you did and he didn't even respond to your kiss right away. You can't control your feelings anymore because this will be the end. He feel your tears on his cheek as your tears fall down while you kiss his lips for the last time.
This will be our one last bitter yet sweet kiss Jiyong.
After your kiss, Jiyong wipe your tears away by his hand. He is still speechless and shocked. He have no idea what was that kiss for. Now, he know the feeling of a sudden kiss. You bet he already know what you felt earlier when he grabbed and kissed you at the fire exit.
That brave act of yours already give you your peace of mind back. But you doubt that once you get home, moving forward is the toughest thing that you will have and must do.
"Good bye Jiyong-ah! " You give him your warmest smile. This time you know that you didn't leave him hanging.
****
When you go downstairs, you saw that the show already ended. The crazy crowd we're gone. Looks like the party is really over.
It's already 2:30 am and your flight is 10 in the morning. You decided to walk and go back home. You didn't even bother to find Minhee. As you walk on the empty streets because there are no taxis there at this moment, you think all the these that happened the whole night, from the way he grabbed your arms and kiss you to your dramatic conversation and lastly your last kiss with him.
"Case closed" you sighed deeply and smile.
****
Goodbye Jiyong-ah! The last words the you said to Jiyong still resounds in his head. He didn't follow you because he was too shocked.
"Goodbye? Don't tell me it's a goodbye kiss?" he said to himself while he put his both hands to his face.
He remembered the things that you said to him. He smile every time he think that meeting him is one of the most beautiful things that happened in your life.
Having her in my life is the craziest thing that happened to me. I can go crazy if that's the only way for me to have her forever.
I can't loose her this time.
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