(A/N: Right. So, erm, let's just imagine that IU and Jonghyun met years ago, in school, and have been friends ever since, maintaining their friendship even through the busy trainee years... Enjoy!! And please comment guysss <333)

There were many reasons why Lee Ji Eun smiled that day.

Ji Eun leaned her back against the wall the moment she stepped into the darkened room, and let her legs bend and her body slide down, laying one arm over her knees. All she wanted was to be alone, but her memories wouldn’t let her be, torturing her with past scenes that used to fill her with bliss. She smiled. There had probably been a time, when she could almost believe that those days would last forever.

At the back of her mind, Ji Eun knew they'd come to an end, eventually.

What hurt the most was that it was nobody's fault that her life had become this wrecked mess. She couldn't blame her sadness on anyone, couldn't force her heart to heal by turning the pain into anger. Sometimes, when Ji Eun listened to the radio, there'd be a singer belting out the anger they felt for their broken love. Ji Eun would give a small smile then, because at least they got to feel the anger.

After she came to terms with the fact that Jonghyun would never feel for her the way Ji Eun did him, all Ji Eun could feel was an empty space, right where her chest was supposed to be. Ji Eun had expected herself to cry, to bawl, to shout out her agony to the world, but she didn't. Because instead of the mindblowing pain, there was just a nothingness. It was as if she had exhaled in one puff, short and quick, till there was nothing left in her lungs, and she felt ill.

This was what they called heartbreak? Ji Eun had always thought it'd mean hurting all the while, thought it'd mean going crazy with the pain, just like they sang in the slow, sad ballads.

But then, Ji Eun had never gotten her heart broken before, so she couldn't say. She smiled a little at that.

Ji Eun's hand came up to grab the material of her shirt, that lay on top of her empty chest. In the gaping hole that Ji Eun was sure lay within, she could almost bet her life on it that Jonghyun's face shimmered, with a smirk that meant nothing in the end, and a silence that’d meant everything after all.

Ji Eun had taken about three years to come to accept that she loved Jonghyun something more than a friend. That for Ji Eun, Jonghyun was the only one she wanted. Before Jonghyun, Ji Eun realised, she'd never really liked anyone. Granted, she'd enjoyed flirting with a few boys in the past, but she'd never been serious. So, it'd been quite a shock to Ji Eun when she'd realised that she'd suddenly come from being severely uninterested, to infatuated with one boy. She'd had to take three years to come to face it head-on. And when she did, it was too late to say anything.

All Ji Eun had worried about was how Jonghyun seemed desperate to stay ‘just a friend’, and would never reciprocrate her feelings--she would always be left alone. She didn't tell anyone about what was really going on inside her head. Because she was afraid that her friends'd think she'd gone nuts. She wasn't quite certain that she was sane herself. She smiled half-heartedly in the dark.

First off, Ji Eun could never figure out just what it was that made her want Jonghyun so much. God, she even liked him in his sleep, the only place where she could go to, to melt into his embrace and just enjoy the dream, for the short while it lasted. And when she woke up, to have reality crash down on her, squashing the breath out of her, Ji Eun would pretend that she was psychic, that her dreams were merely visions of the future. Sometimes--just sometimes--Ji Eun sounded so convincing in her head, that she almost believed herself.

Almost.

Perhaps, the thing that really made Ji Eun hang on desperately to that thin thread of hope that maybe someday far off in their future Ji Eun's dream would come true, was the way Jonghyun treated her.

Ji Eun's smile trembled, the corners of struggling to keep the shape they'd been forced into. Ji Eun was surprised at how strong her reaction was towards the memories that surged through her brain now. She'd always believed that crying after love was something only depressed heroines do in weepy dramas. She closed her eyes, to savour the images of the past.

Ji Eun slips into the dance studio when she pays Jonghyun a routine, quick visit. She sneaks a peek at Jonghyun as all five members dance, in perfect sync with one another. Ji Eun watches in the mirror, barely breathing as Jonghyun moves so flawlessly. Every move Jonghyun makes just screams perfect, and Ji Eun smiles, enjoying watching the performance that only she seems to see.

Ji Eun bumps into a table in the corner of the room, and the clatter distracts the dancers. Jonghyun misses a move, and messes the rest of the choreography up. While the rest of the members groan and glare at Jonghyun, he lookes straight into the mirror, back at her, and in the split second before she turns away embarrassed, smirks cheekily at her. Ji Eun can't help being afraid that she'll die of a heart attack.

Ji Eun's face twisted, as she tried to keep her smile on--she had to practice looking happy, so no one else would know. Maybe, she'd feel better after talking to someone, but she couldn't bear to burden anyone else with this pain.

Ji Eun rubbed her eyes groggily, as she looked up at Jonghyun. She’d accidentally fallen asleep waiting for Jonghyun’s dance practice to end, so that they could spend some time together. Ji Eun wondered what the boy had shaken her awake so urgently for. She sat up. Ji Eun realised how near Jonghyun is to her, and to cover up her excitement and nervousness at this, Ji Eun reached forward, to ruffle Jonghyun's hair affectionately. Jonghyun's face broke into a small grin, and he ruffled Ji Eun's hair too, just as Ji Eun had expected he would. To Ji Eun, the boy was predictable: he could be read like a book, and Ji Eun knew the words by heart.

"Let's get drinks." Jonghyun said shortly, and didn't wait for an answer--he never did--before grabbing hold of Ji Eun's shoulders, and pushing her out of the door, heading towards the staircase outside the dance studio. Ji Eun let herself be controlled by Jonghyun, and leaned back slightly, to put more weight on Jonghyun's hands, to make his job more difficult.

"Yah! You're too heavy.." Jonghyun panted, and Ji Eun turned around to flash her trademark happy smile at the boy. Jonghyun was adorable when he complained.

"That's not very nice, you kno--" Ji Eun started, but the rest of the sentence died on her lips.

Because Jonghyun had taken hold of her hand for the first time--not his wrist--and started dragging her down the stairs. Ji Eun's eyes widened. Her fingers curled instinctively around Jonghyun's and she stumbled downstairs behind her crush, with what was probably the silliest, most heartfelt smile on her face, eyes never leaving their entwined fingers. Ji Eun was deathly afraid of the dark, but she'd never been so terrified as when the thought crossed her mind: her hands were becoming more and more sweaty, what if Jonghyun thought they were gross?

But when Jonghyun finally let go of her hand, once they'd walked together to the vending machine, Ji Eun's hand missed the warmth of Jonghyun's skin pressed against hers.

The images didn't take mercy on Ji Eun, they didn't stop at that painful memory. Ji Eun couldn't breathe normally.

"We'll be splitting you guys up into groups, to play the next game." Onew rubbed his hands together in anticipation of the next game at Taemin’s unofficial birthday celebration. Ji Eun had been invited to come by Jonghyun, and she couldn’t have been happier.

There was a scattering of activity at these words, as the boys lached onto their closer friends, that they'd wanted to be grouped with. Ji Eun looked around the room. Taemin  chose Minho, and Key was with Onew, beckoning to Ji Eun excitedly to join their group. Ji Eun hesitated, then walked slowly towards them. She wanted to be in the same group as Jonghyun, but she didn't really know how to ask...

A hand on her arm stopped her, and she looked down. The fingers were the ones even more familiar than her own. Ji Eun didn't move and inch.

"No...I want my Ji Eun..." Jonghyun pouted (everyone stared at him), and gently hooked an arm around Ji Eun's neck, dragging them back to their original spot. Ji Eun didn't breathe normally, and it wasn't only because her neck was trapped in crook of someone else's arm.

Since when did Ji Eun belong to Jonghyun? Ji Eun fought the warmth that travelled up her belly, and tried to settle in her chest. "Maybe it's better if I join them..." Ji Eun left her sentence hanging, teasing Jonghyun.

"No! Promise you will stayyy..." Jonghyun encircled his fingers around Ji Eun's arm possessively, swinging the arm a little. Ji Eun gulped, and nodded. How could she ever say no to that question?

At this, Ji Eun buried her hands in her hair, and combed her fringe off her face, leaving her hands cradling her own head for a while, staring at nothing in the darkness. She smiled brokenly. In a way, she hadn't broken her promise at all. She was still the infatuated girl she was on that day, three years ago. It was the boy, Jonghyun, that had disappeared.

But then, Jonghyun had never promised to stay, so he had never broken any promises either. The memories, like a movie that just wouldn't be switched off, continued.

It was after a practice that day, when they were still rookies, that Ji Eun had stayed back to perfect the choreography. Dancing wasn't one of her strongest points (she preferred singing), and she wanted to make sure it didn't show. Jonghyun had stayed back with her, for some reason, and he played with his phone, as Ji Eun practiced.

Afterwards, they'd gone out of the studio, and sat down outside just outside the building, watching the rain. None of them had remembered to bring an unbrella, so they'd have to wait for the rain to stop, before setting out for the dorm.

They'd sat on the step, and talked about everything, and nothing. They teased each other, and made each other smile, and Jonghyun had told Ji Eun about his family members, and how his sister confused him--she could be so cute and deathly annoying at the same time. Ji Eun couldn't help but smile at that. She guessed it ran in the family. Ji Eun said so, and Jonghyun tickled her, and Ji Eun returned the scrabbling fingers playfully. She and Jonghyun were always teasing each other, but it was just a form of contact, and it showed (Ji Eun had hoped) how close they were.

Ji Eun had told Jonghyun her jokes, and had felt so proud that she'd managed to make Jonghyun laugh more than she'd ever seen before.

Her jokes. Ji Eun's smile disappeared through the hazy film of tears. Two nights ago, Jonghyun had said that he was going over to Se Kyung’s house for lessons in acting. Ji Eun had nodded numbly, knowing Jonghyun was lying: he wouldn’t be in a new drama for a while. There was no way Jonghyun had time for acting, what with the group promotions of their new songs recently. But Jonghyun had looked so flushed, so happy, that Ji Eun hadn't had the heart to point that out.

When Ji Eun had gone out much later on, just to pass by Se Kyung’s house (she couldn't seem to fall asleep--she had just stared at the door, wondering if Jonghyun had returned back to his dorm, she couldn't help it), and had stopped outside Se Kyung’s door. Listening to the voices just inside (she figured they were in the living room or something), Ji Eun realised something that made her feel a little funny. It made her feel a little like a stalker to notice, but there was only one pair of shoes outside the door. Sungjong and Jonghyun were alone, inside. There wasn’t a whole bunch of friends over, like Jonghyun’d claimed. Ji Eun listened to Jonghyun's voice that drifted faintly through the door, and heard the familiar smile in his words.

Jonghyun was telling her jokes to Se Kyung.

Ji Eun turned to go, trying to be happy about the fact that Jonghyun had enjoyed her jokes so much that he'd remembered them after all this time. They must have been so funny, Ji Eun's mind whispered, as Jonghyun and Se Kyung's laughter rang in her ears, louder than Ji Eun had ever heard Jonghyun laugh, taunting and haunting her.

Ji Eun hadn’t paid much attention to where she was headed, and she found herself standing outside Shinee’s dorm. Perhaps she was still unconsciously waiting for Jonghyun to return to her.

Those two and a half years had ended. Ji Eun knew now, that all the skinship with Jonghyun that had left her breathless, and silly, meant nothing special to Jonghyun. Ji Eun saw the way Jonghyun's eyes turned all warm, and crinkled up when he smiled at Se Kyung, the way he brushed the hair out of Se Kyung's eyes tenderly, the way they sometimes held hands under the table. The way Jonghyun read Se Kyung's never ending texts with that smile, and the way Se Kyung smiled more whenever Jonghyun was within a ten meter radius around her.

Ji Eun had asked defeatedly, yesterday, "You seem much happier nowadays..." and Jonghyun had just smiled at her. The smile wasn't as meltingly warm as the ones he shot at Se Kyung, and Ji Eun wanted to tug her heart out of her chest, and throw it away, somewhere it couldn't ever be found again, so that she wouldn't hurt, when she spoke the lie.

"I'm glad."

Ji Eun thought of the three years. They had been the happiest in her life, and she'd spent her days either being with Jonghyun, or missing him. She'd felt so alive, she'd never been lonely. Jonghyun had made each day so fun to live. Staring at Jonghyun's embarrassed smile that still lingered on his face, as his eyes sought out Se Kyung's slender form, on the other side of the room, Ji Eun decided never to tell. She wouldn't destroy their happiness. Se Kyung was a nice girl, and Ji Eun knew it wasn't her fault. Her pain was nobody's fault. Ji Eun would just deal with it by herself, smiling like the bubbly character everybody said she was, and crying alone at night. She would clutch at her own heart, and maybe, just maybe, the pain would go away once she'd cried her tears. Ji Eun glanced at her best friend, who was staring at her, head to the side, wondering at her long silence. Ji Eun looked straight into Jonghyun's curious eyes, and saw the reflection of a scared girl in the dark orbs. Ji Eun was afraid of her decision and she didn't want Jonghyun to catch on.

There were many reasons why Kim Jonghyun smirked that night.

Jonghyun waited, until he was sure that Ji Eun had safely returned home, before he returned. He'd been at Sekyung's house, laughing most of the evening away, as he retold Ji Eun's jokes to Se Kyung. They were good jokes: side-splittingly funny. Ji Eun had told them to Jonghyun, one rainy afternoon years back, when they were still trainees, when they were still uncertain of success. Jonghyun still remembered them word for word though, and it wasn't only because the jokes were so funny. There was another, deeper, darker reason, that he'd rather be killed than say now:

Because he couldn't forget anything to do with Ji Eun.

Every tiny detail about the girl seemed to jump out at Jonghyun, assaulting his senses, drawing him in. It wasn't like he was obsessed or anything, Jonghyun had tried to explain to himself, so that his mind would make more sense. Jonghyun hadn't had a say in it at all. Like how he loved it when Ji Eun laughed, because she always threw her head back, and that showed off her beautiful jawline, and made Jonghyun draw in a quick breath, unconsciously. Like how he loved watching Ji Eun drink water, because she would unscrew the bottle just so, and anyone could see how beautiful her fingers were, how they begged for attention.

Like how he couldn't help loving the girl. He smirked.

Jonghyun never used to smirk. He used to have one of the widest smiles around, to be honest.

All of Jonghyun's smirks nowadays were halved smiles. Because he was afraid that his heart would shatter just a little more, if he really, truly smiled. Because a smile meant he was happy, like when he was with Ji Eun, like when they teased each other, like when they didn't need words to show their affection towards one another. Like how he'd been in the past. When the bittersweet memories haunted him now, he wanted to smile, because they'd had so much fun together, and he could still see the way Ji Eun had laughed, with him.

But then, he'd remember that it was all over now, that Ji Eun had never been his to love in the first place. And then his smile would become broken, and bent into half--he would smirk. There had probably been a time, when he could almost believe that those days would last forever, but they didn't.

At the back of his mind, Jonghyun knew they'd come to an end, eventually.

What hurt the most was that it was nobody's fault that his life had become this wrecked mess. He couldn't blame his sadness on anyone, couldn't force his heart to heal by turning the pain into anger. When songs with overly-cheery lyrics played on the radio sometimes, Jonghyun would smirk, and be reminded of time spent with Ji Eun. Basically, every stupid love song now reminded him of the boy now--happy ones about the laughter and the smiles, and the sad ones about how Jonghyun would always be alone.

Jonghyun sat beside Ji Eun's sleeping form (she’d fallen asleep on the step outside his dorm, probably waiting for him to return from Se Kyung’s house, he realised guiltily), where the sleeping girl lay, and leaned back against the wall, covering his eyes with one limp arm. All he wanted to do now was kiss Ji Eun until she surrendered, and agreed to love him.

No. Screw that. Jonghyun's hands curled up into balls, defensive, as he tried to fight the pain. What he really wanted to do now, was to turn time back, before the agreement with his company, to when he could still wonder, blissfully, unknowingly, if maybe, just maybe, Ji Eun would love him too someday. Now all that was left, was the unwanted knowledge, the empty space next to his heart, that used to be filled with desperate hope. As time went by, and Ji Eun's reactions didn't change, Jonghyun felt as if that space was starting to crumble at the edges, festering, growing bigger, until all that would be left of him was an empty shell.

And when that happened, Jonghyun could almost bet his life on it, that he would still be smirking. Because the memories with Ji Eun would still be haunting him with the echoes of their laughter. Because he could never forget Ji Eun.

This was what they called heartbreak? To feel like an empty husk? Like an empty vase, so fragile? Jonghyun had always thought it'd mean hurting all the while, thought it'd mean going crazy with the pain, just like they sang in the slow, sad ballads he used to listen to with Ji Eun.

But then, Jonghyun had never gotten his heart broken before, so he couldn't say. He smirked a little at that. It seemed that only Ji Eun had that ability to screw up his life like that.

So when his hand came up to his chest, to bunch the fabric in the grip of his fingers and bang it against his ribcage, trying to fill the void in his being that was being eaten away by loss, Jonghyun knew that the space was never really empty and nor would it ever be--Ji Eun was in there, somewhere, with that smile that meant nothing in the end, and the silence that'd meant everything afterall.

All Jonghyun had worried about was how Ji Eun seemed so desperate to stay ‘just friends’. Hell, he'd seen the way she’d flirted with boys from their school, years back. Ji Eun would never reciprocrate his feelings--Jonghyun would always be left alone. He didn't tell anyone about what was really going on inside his head. Because he was afraid that his friends'd think he'd gone nuts. He wasn't quite certain that he was sane himself. He smirked at the girl through the gloom that separated them.

Jonghyun had taken about three years to come to accept that he loved Ji Eun something more than a friend. That for Jonghyun, Ji Eun was the only one he wanted. The only one he'd wanted for such a long time. He was reminded why too, as the memories played through his head.

Jonghyun sneaks a peek at Ji Eun when she comes to visit them. All five members dance, in perfect sync with one another. Jonghyun watches in the mirror, as Ji Eun watches them perform the choreography. Everytime he looks up, Jonghyun's heart lifts at the glimpse of the gentle eyes trained on him. Jonghyun's eyes follow Ji Eun's hands, as they move through her hair that’s become a little messy when she rushed to the dance studio, because the fingers just beckon his eyes. Jonghyun's mind moves away from the dance, as he becomes absorbed in taking discreet glances at Ji Eun as he dances, enjoying watching the performance that only she seems to see.

Distracted, Jonghyun makes a small mistake, and out of the corner of his eye, he sees Ji Eun glance at him. Jonghyun curses silently. He hates himself for being careless. To Ji Eun, he has to be perfect! Still sensing Ji Eun's eyes on him, Jonghyun pours his soul into the dance, making every hip bigger, every chest pop ier.

Jonghyun can still feel Ji Eun's eyes on him, and loses himself in the dance, perfecting each move, so much that it completely takes him by surprise when there is a muffled bump, and everyone jumps, and Minho is knocked onto him, and everybody falls over, except the culprit--Ji Eun. She stands by the table, looking apologetic, picking up the bag that’s gotten knocked to the ground. Jonghyun knows it is selfish, but he hopes the reason behind the clatter is because Ji Eun was shaken by his dance. Jonghyun glances in the mirror, to comfirm, but in that split second, Ji Eun turns away, and Jonghyun can no longer feel her gaze.

Ji Eun wouldn't have seen Jonghyun flash the best smile he could manage at her.

His smile fades away.

The images didn't take mercy on Jonghyun, they didn't stop at that painful memory. Jonghyun couldn't breathe normally.

"We'll be splitting you guys up into groups for the next game," Onew said, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

There was a scattering of activity at these words, as the boys lached onto their closer friends, that they'd wanted to be grouped with. Jonghyun watched as Ji Eun looked around the room. Taemin chose Minho, and Key was with Onew, beckoning to Ji Eun excitedly to join their group. Ji Eun hesitated, then walked slowly towards them.

Jonghyun had reached out his hand, to pull Ji Eun towards him, and tell Ji Eun that he'd chosen her, but Ji Eun had moved away before Jonghyun had a chance to touch her. Watching as Ji Eun moved slowly towards his waving teammates, Jonghyun's heart sank with every small step that took Ji Eun away from him.

Jonghyun knew that he was being silly--this partner arrangement was only a temporary thing. But Jonghyun just couldn't let Ji Eun simply walk away from him like that. Jonghyun wanted to spend as much time as possible with Ji Eun.

It seemed that Ji Eun didn't feel the same way.

Making up his mind, Jonghyun lunged forward, and caught hold of Ji Eun's arm, hating himself for his own selfishness. Ji Eun froze, and didn't even turn around to look at him, just stared at his fingers silently. Jonghyun swallowed. He hadn't thought of what to do after he'd stopped Ji Eun from leaving.

So he did the first thing that came to his mind.

"No...I want my Ji Eun..." Jonghyun didn't dare to look at Ji Eun's face, as he spoke what was probably the most sincere words he'd ever said out loud. Hooking an arm around Ji Eun's neck gently, Jonghyun dragged them back to their original spot, so he could pretend that Ji Eun had never left him.

"Maybe it's better if I join them..." Jonghyun heard Ji Eun's low voice, beside his ear. He smirked at the sentence. Because he wasnted to smile, to show Ji Eun how much he would like it if she would be his partner. But the idea that Ji Eun hated the notion broke his smile.

"No!" Jonghyun wanted to tie the girl down, wanted to handcuff their hands together, so that Ji Eun wouldn't go, so that Ji Eun wouldn't leave him behind, so that Ji Eun wouldn't leave him alone. But he knew it was impossible, because then Ji Eun would hate him. He'd lose Ji Eun. Heck, this love was confusing him, screwing up his mind, until the only thing that remained clear was how much Ji Eun meant to him.

"Promise you will stay..." Jonghyun encircled his fingers around Ji Eun's arm possessively, swinging the arm a little. His fingers would have to make do for handcuffs, and his words would be the only thing that could bind Ji Eun to him. Even so, he needed this, needed the confirmation. Jonghyun managed a proper smile this time, when Ji Eun nodded slightly.

But Ji Eun never saw, because she didn't turn around to look at Jonghyun.

Jonghyun's face twisted, as he tried to keep his smirk intact--he had to practice looking like he couldn't care less, so Ji Eun wouldn't find out, and be disgusted by him, and push him away for good. This loneliness was one of the reasons why he’d agreed to pose as her boyfriend for more publicity. He got on well with Se Kyung--the girl also loved someone who would never reciprocrate the feeling. Se Kyung had told Jonghyun that her crush was from another boy group, and Jonghyun didn't want to push for more information. He knew how hard it was to even talk about the subject.

When it got too difficult, just loving Ji Eun in silence, Jonghyun would go to Se Kyung, and they would support each other. Se Kyung was a good girl, a good friend, but it was never the same as talking to Ji Eun. He couldn't laugh as much, he didn't feel as much. But talking with Se Kyung gave Jonghyun strength to carry on--at least he could be with Ji Eun nearly everyday. Se Kyung hardly ever got to see the person she loved.

Just now, as Jonghyun had listened to the jokes Se Kyung told him in an effort to cheer him up, Jonghyun had been reminded of that day, when Ji Eun had made him laugh as he'd never done before...

It was after a practice that day, when they were still rookies, that Ji Eun had stayed back to perfect the choreography. Dancing wasn't one of her strong points, and she'd told Jonghyun she wanted to make sure it didn't show. So Jonghyun had stayed with her while she practiced, because he knew Ji Eun hated being alone, because he wanted to give her support.

Watching Ji Eun dance, Jonghyun took out his handphone, and video recorded her dancing. If Ji Eun had caught him at it, Jonghyun would have just shrugged, smirked, and said that it was for Ji Eun to review and improve. He would rather die, than let Ji Eun think he was a creepy stalker.

Afterwards, they'd gone out of the studio, and sat down just outside the building, watching the downpour. None of them had remembered to bring an unbrella, so they'd have to wait for the rain to stop, before setting out for the dorm.

They'd sat on the step, and talked about everything, and nothing. They teased each other, and made each other smile, and Jonghyun had told Ji Eun about his family members, and how his sister confused him--she could be so cute and deathly annoying at the same time. When Jonghyun saw Ji Eun smile, his heart lifted with the corners of the girl's mouth. Ji Eun said that he was just like his sister, so Jonghyun tickled her side, and Ji Eun returned the scrabbling fingers playfully, just like Jonghyun knew she would. He and Ji Eun were always teasing each other, but it was just a form of contact, and it showed (Jonghyun had hoped) how close they were.

Ji Eun had told Jonghyun her jokes, and they'd been so funny, that Jonghyun couldn't resist laughing. It was amazing, the way Ji Eun's face lit up along with Jonghyun's. It had occured to Jonghyun afterwards, that perhaps the jokes hadn't been all that mindblowingly funny.

Perhaps, Jonghyun thought to himself, a warm feeling rising from his stomach, and threatening to settle in his chest, he'd laughed just because he was glad? Glad, that he'd made Ji Eun smile so wide? Glad, that he'd been lucky to meet someone as amazing as Ji Eun?

Perhaps, Jonghyun concluded, he'd never know for sure.

Two weeks ago, Se Kyung had urged Jonghyun to confess to Ji Eun. They’d gotten enough publicity for their companies to be satisfied, and they wouldn’t have to keep the act up much longer. Afterall, if he didn't try, he'd probably never find out how Ji Eun thought of him. Jonghyun thought that made sense, but he was too scared to try anything. 'Wait', he'd implored, watched by Se Kyung's doubtful eyes.

Then, he'd gone on to propose the stupidest thing in his life--that he and Se Kyung pose as a real couple. From Ji Eun's reaction, he'd be able to tell if the boy loved him back. So they'd tried it out, after Jonghyun convinced a reluctant Se Kyung.

The results had crushed Jonghyun. If anything, Ji Eun only smiled more, and spoke little to Jonghyun about the "relationship". It was as if she hadn't noticed.

"You seem much happier nowadays..." Ji Eun had trailed off, and looked into his eyes with an unreadable expression on her face. Jonghyun had been taken aback. He wasn't happier at all. It was unexpectedly difficult acting like he loved someone else, especially in front of Ji Eun. Because it was impossible, it would never happen, and Jonghyun had realised it at that moment. He had wanted to stop.

Jonghyun hadn't found any words to say to his best friend. He eyed Se Kyung, and had smiled brokenly. The girl had been right. They shouldn't have tried out this stupid test. Jonghyun hadn't wanted Ji Eun to think anything was amiss, so he'd just nodded, and kept on staring at Se Kyung, avoiding Ji Eun's gaze.

Now, Jonghyun lifted his head a little, to look at the sleeping girl. He couldn't help himself when his arm shifted forward, and took hold of one of Ji Eun's hands, and his fingers curled around Ji Eun's. Jonghyun never wanted to let go.

The small movement made Ji Eun's eyelids flutter open, and the girl shifted upright again, eyes glancing from their entwined fingers to Jonghyun's face, half shrouded in shadow. Jonghyun glanced at his best friend, who was staring at him, head to the side, wondering at the hand that gripped his.

He knew Ji Eun would never love him the way he did. Jonghyun knew he'd never risk losing his best friend by confessing. He looked straight into Ji Eun's wide eyes, and saw the reflection of a scared boy in the dark orbs. He shakily let go of Ji Eun's hand. Jonghyun was afraid of his decision, but he didn't want Ji Eun to catch on. Jonghyun tried to grin, to show that everything was okay, but he knew that he'd be lying, and that broke his smile.