14^th April 2014, 2.15PM.

 

I alighted right outside the black bean restaurant, gloating as I hoped off the bus with 45 minutes to spare. I couldn’t resist giving myself a pat on the back for doing well. After all, I had already been a year late, and there was no reason for me to be even later than I already am.

 

A queue had already begun to start forming outside the restaurant, as expected of Black Day. Any place that sold black bean would be crowded. I made my way over and stood in line with the rest of the partnerless Seoul inhabitants. Watching the patrons before me fiddle with their electronic devices morosely, I couldn’t help but think of my own predicament. Would I be like them too?

 

Maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t have to eat black bean noodles today.

 

 

14^th April 2013, 4.07PM.

 

“Eh?” I spluttered, feeling bewildered at the situation. My eyes, which had trailed southwards from Minki’s face for just a split second, shot back up to regard the – apparently – male figure in front of me. “You’re a guy? But… But, you’re so pretty – I mean, uhm, ah, you don’t look like a guy. Are you sure you’re not just a tomboy or something? Gah. What am I saying. I sound like an idiot.”

 

“Nope. I am definitely a guy, the last time I checked. That would be this morning in the bathroom while doing the number two.” Minki piped up cheerily as he held up two fingers before brushing the entire issue under the carpet. “So, now that my gender has been confirmed, JR-sshi, you are Korean, aren’t you? Not a mixed blood of any sort?”

 

“Ah, eh, what?” I still couldn’t wrap my brain around the fact that Minki was a guy. I mean, anyone would have assumed that that angel-like face and Mezzo voice would belong to a girl. Heck, even his name sounds uniual! “Ah, uhm, yeah, I am a hundred percent Korean, even though I can’t vouch for my accent. I just came from America, you see. ‘JR’ was just a nickname that all my friends called me back there. It actually stands for Junior Royal.”

 

“You sound fine to me, JR-sshi. I can’t even tell that you’re not completely native.” Minki reassured as he smoothed his bangs down. “But since you’re Korean, does that mean that you have a proper Korean name?”

 

“Yeah. My birth name is Kim Jong Hyun.”

 

“Then I shall call you Jong Hyun instead, then.” Minki concluded with a sniff. His button nose wrinkled up and I felt the unexplainable urge to pinch it. “It sounds a bit more personal if I do. JR’s a little too fancy for my tastes. You wouldn’t mind if I do, would you?”

 

I shrugged. The teachers at school all addressed me by my Korean name, and so I was used to people calling me Jong Hyun. Minki nodded eagerly and beamed. “In that case, let’s get to know one another better, Jong Hyun-sshi. What were you doing outside here? You were waiting for over an hour! Were you planning to meet someone?”

 

“That’s a good question that I can’t answer. You see, I was supposed to meet this girl–” The ringing of my phone cut me off in mid-sentence. I fished it out opened the one new text message in my inbox. “–And that girl bailed on me. She just texted me saying that she has some spa appointment that she absolutely cannot miss and sends her apologies regarding the matter. Hah.”

 

I passed my phone to Minki and watched as his eyes danced across the screen, doubling in size near the end. “No way! And she only just sent this text to you? If she was planning on ditching you, she could’ve at least had the courtesy to inform you in advance first. Then you wouldn’t have gone through the trouble of dressing up and all that. What a !”

 

“Tell me about it.” Perhaps it was only because he could sympathise with me over the situation, but I already take a liking to Minki already. I stuck my phone back into my front pocket and sank down in my seat, crossing my arms across my stomach. “I am Kim Jong Hyun. Nobody stands me up without facing consequences! I’m going to make sure everyone hears about it on Monday morning. And now I don’t have anything to do.”

 

Minki’s gaze was downcast for a moment before he looked up again, straight into my eyes. “In that case, you wouldn’t mind staying here with me, would you? You don’t even have to do anything or try to strike a conversation. It would be nice enough if you could accompany me here and we could hang out for a bit, if you don’t mind.”

 

There was something about his proposition that made me unable to say no. Maybe it was how he managed to maintain his voice completely level while speaking. Perhaps it was the earnestness I saw in his brown orbs. Or it could have been due to the edge in his tone that pleaded with me to stay.

 

“Not at all. I’d love to stay.” I had never been more truthful in my life.

 

 

14^th April 2014, 2.45PM.

 

After queuing outside the restaurant for a good thirty minutes and getting a cramp in my legs in reward for my effort, I was finally shown a table, a corner booth, and was seated. I stretched my gangly limbs out straight on the seat opposite mine. I would not have been able to do so if someone had been sitting there and dining with me.

 

I requested for a glass of plain water for my parched throat. My order soon arrived and I took big gulps, finishing the glass in seconds, but yet I was still as antsy as ever; I didn’t know what to expect. In my pocket sat two movie tickets for the premiere of School Dance, waiting to be used and enjoyed by two dance lovers who could appreciate the film.

 

I didn’t watch a movie alone last year, and I’m hoping that I won’t have to this year either.

 

 

14^th April 2013, 4.28PM.

 

I shifted in my seat and felt something sharp prod my hipbone. I dug the crumpled movie tickets out from my pocket and tossed them into the rubbish bin carelessly. I had no use for them now anyway. Minki eyed the disposed yellow strips with interest. “What are those, Jong Hyun-sshi?”

 

“Those?” I pointed to the tickets that now sat in the bin. “They’re movie tickets for Step Up: Revolution. You know how I was waiting outside here for a really long time just now? Yeah, well, it’s because I was supposed to go catch the show with my date, but it turns out that I got ditched in the end.”

 

“Wasn’t that movie coming out today? How could you throw these away just like that? Are you out of your mind? Those are movie premiere tickets and probably cost a bomb!” Minki plucked the two stubs out from the waste and dusted them off. “Look. It’s only 4.30PM now! The show doesn’t start till 5PM. We can still make it if we hurry a little!”

 

“Can we? Can we?” He began bouncing up and down on his seat like a hyperactive child and I couldn’t help but chuckle at his childishness. “Oh, Jong Hyun-sshi, please say yes! I really want to watch this show.”

 

Minki placed his fists on his mochi cheeks and squeezed them together, making him resemble a pufferfish. With such an adorable sight before me, I inevitably obliged to the request. The younger squealed in delight and leapt up from his seat, rounding the table and began tugging me off mine. “Come on, let’s go now. We can’t be late!”

 

 

14^th April 2014, 3.15PM.

 

Half an hour into listening to my stomach was growl out a tune, I jumped the gun and decided to order black bean noodles first. It was a large portion, way more than what I was able to finish. I placed the plate in front of me at the centre of the table and gazed fondly at it.

 

Given my hunger I was expecting myself to start wolfing the dish down immediately, but I didn’t. Instead, I propped my elbows up on the table and supported my chin with my interlinked fingers as I bore holes into the lonely looking plate of noodles and its jarring significance.

 

Back then, I couldn’t comprehend the hype surrounding Black Day. What was the big deal about being single? Surely it is not possible for everyone to be in a relationship. Fresh from the US with a set of American values to boot, I definitely saw singlehood as more of a boon than a bane. Being relationship free entailed a freedom of choice and liberty from commitment.

 

Now, I wasn’t too sure if these mattered to me anymore. In the course of a year, I had come to realise the significance of having a reliable romantic partner when living in a Metropolitan city. Seoul was fast-paced, cruel and hectic. Having someone you could return home to and share your emotional baggage with was a pleasant and desirable notion.

 

I just wished that I had realised this earlier.

 

 

14^th April 2013, 8.13PM.

 

We stopped by a street side food stall after the movie where we conversed comfortably about our lives over a hearty dinner. By the time the plates were cleared, I had learnt that Minki was an only child of two lawyer parents, has a penchant for nail art – ‘It’s stylish,’ he said – and has a bubbly personality despite his cool-looking exterior.

 

Following that trail, Minki and I then headed for a light stroll along Cheong Gye Cheon and ended up sitting by the river bank gazing at the fluorescent lights gleaming in the clear water as we digested our scrumptious meal.

 

I took a sneak peak at Minki who was fixated on the running water before him. The warm orange lights lit his face up, giving him an ethereal glow, sparking a tiny glimmer in his wide eyes. Noticing my stare, Minki looked away from the stream and at me. My breath was caught in my throat and I was captured by him. His brown eyes were dark and soulful with endless depth. So beautiful, yet so mysterious.

 

He must keep a lot of secrets. Is it wrong that I want to know all about them? Curiosity piqued, I decided to proceed on with a question. “You know, I never did ask you, why were you there today?”

 

“Where?” Minki glanced away, flustered.

 

“The black bean restaurant,” I replied matter-of-factly, knowing full well that Minki knew exactly where I had been referring to. “Why were you there? You don’t seem like someone who’s just been dumped.”

 

The question left the blonde scrambling for a valid explanation. “Uhm, well… I was just passing by and I got hungry, so…”

 

“Liar,” I replied easily. Since when had I become so good at calling other people out on their fibs or was it just because it was Minki? “I saw what you were doing. You were staring at your wallet morosely the whole time.”

 

“Guess you caught me…” Minki’s defensive disposition changed and he seemed defeated. He shuffled through the contents of his leather carrier and fished out his wallet, showing the elder the photo of a stunningly beautiful girl with a short bob and a sweet smile Her eyes, like his, were sparkling and full of life. “I was looking at her… She’s Kim Nam Joo, my girlfriend. Was.”

 

“Was? You two broke up?”

 

“She died in a car accident exactly a year ago today.” Minki replied softly as he stowed his wallet again. Drawing his knees to his chest, Minki puffed his cheeks up before continuing. “That black bean restaurant used to be our favourite hangout back when she was still alive.”

 

I mirrored his actions, wrapping my arms around my shins and propping my chin up on kneecaps. I didn’t know what to say and how to comfort him, and so I went with the standard, insincere line of mock sympathy. “I’m sorry. It must be hard to lose someone you love dearly.”

 

“Just so you know, you really at ‘comforting’ people. Even though I didn’t need the TLC,” Minki informed cheekily and wrinkled his nose. He tilted his head slightly to peek at me before looking back at the water. I looked away as well. “It’s really fine though. I’ve long moved on. I really just happened to pass by that area when I saw the restaurant, and couldn’t resist the urge to go in and sit for a while. You know. Just for old times’ sake.”

 

“So… You don’t love her anymore? Weren’t you two in love when she passed away?” I didn’t know why I was so curious to find out about this Kim Nam Joo and Minki’s relationship with her, but I asked anyway.

 

Minki stood up from the ground abruptly and dusted the seat of his pants without answering my question. Just when I thought I had offended him with my callous questioning and was about to apologise, he skipped down the steps to the water front and began crossing the stream on the stepping stones, squatting down midway to dip his fingers inside. He beckoned me to follow him and so I did, balancing myself between two stones precariously.

 

Minki let out a long, shaky breath and spoke again. “To answer your question, we weren’t, not in the romantic sense. We… We were never really like that, actually. Our parents only wanted us to date because we’ve been best friends since young. My parents never knew about me. Only she did. Yeah, it’s complicated, I know.”

 

Something about the way he said it made me silent for a few seconds, then look up again in astonishment when it hit me. I almost lost my balance when I finally understood fully what Minki meant and I plunged my hand into the rock bed to keep myself out of the water. “Wait… So you’re saying that you’re actually… Gay?”

 

“Does it offend you?” Minki asked timidly. I shrugged nonchalantly and rested my hand on top of an underwater light, relishing the stark contrast between the warmth emitted from the lamp passing through the thin skin of my palm and the cool stream water that surrounded it. “Yeah, I think I am. I’ve always been biual, but I tend to lean towards guys more.”

 

“Oh…” For the second time in the night, I didn’t know what to say and we lapsed into a bout of uncomfortable silence.

 

“Yeah…” Minki said awkwardly as he rubbed the back of his nape. “Let’s… Change the topic, shall we?”

 

“Sure…” I trailed off as the obnoxious ringing of the ice cream truck echoed through the tranquil neighbourhood. I straightened up and stretched my leg muscles which had fallen asleep at some point. “Ice cream?”

 

“Only if you’re treating,” Minki replied without a second to lose as a wide toothy grin crossed his face.

 

“I have no qualms about that. Cone on, let’s go.” I stretched a hand out and pulled Minki up. “Vanilla?”

 

“Vanilla,” Minki confirmed.

 

 

14^th April 2014, 3.45PM.

 

The noodles had long gone cold. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to start eating first. I had always been one who lacked initiative. If only I had been more truthful that day, if only I hadn’t been so indecisive, I wouldn’t be as lonely as I am now.

 

One year ago, if someone were to just come up to me and told me that I would fall in love in a black bean restaurant, I would have scoffed in their faces and treated them to coffee to help kill some of their excess free time, and probably recommend they sign up for a creative writing class.

 

But the tables were turned and the joke was on me. Here I was, sitting in the exact same place, in the exact same corner booth where we met a year ago, praying to any and every divinity sitting up there above that it would happen. That we would both turn up.

 

Just like we had promised.

 

 

14^th April 2013, 11.36PM.

 

We were back by the river again chatting after our short dessert supper. I had stretched my lanky self out on the concrete bank, propping my upper body up with my elbows. Minki, on the other hand, was pillowing his head on my tummy, staring straight up at the starless night sky as his fingers toyed with the woven leather bracelet I wore on my wrist. Somehow along the way, we had grown so at ease with each other that we didn’t find this stance awkward, and we ignored every critical gaze that fell on us.

 

Minki drew his delicate fingers across my name that was carved in the worn leather and smiled blissfully to himself. I chuckled lightly at his behaviour, causing his head to bounce slightly against my stomach. “You like it? My parents had this custom made for me from a leather tannery in Texas when I was born.”

 

“Yeah…” Minki lifted himself off me before squirming around and adjusting to get into a more comfortable position. “It’s really pretty and it suits you. It just screams Kim Jong Hyun to me. Doesn’t it? It really, really fits you.”

 

“Thank you.” I lifted a hand off the ground and his bangs softly before lowering it again. Minki giggled before sighing in contentment. “Just because of that I’ll make sure I always wear it then.”

 

The air was still with only the occasional vehicle driving by in the background. We took a breath together in harmony. Minki disturbed the peacefulness once again by speaking first. “Jong Hyun-sshi…”

 

“JR. Call me JR.” I cut him off abruptly.

 

He lifted his chin up and his confused eyes met mine. “Why?”

 

I inhaled deeply, causing Minki’s head to rise along with my diaphragm. “Jong Hyun may be my real name, but no one has ever called me that besides teachers and my parents, whom I’m not even close to begin with. People who know me and know me well call me JR because JR is the real me.”

 

“JR-sshi…” Minki tried again.

 

“Yah, are you doing this on purpose just to tick me off? We’ve been friends for a whole day already, and still you’re trying to speak formally with me?” I placed my pointer finger on Minki’s forehead and poked him gently. “Try that again, just without the formalities this time. I’m older than you, so just call me hyung.”

 

“JR hyung…” Minki began uncomfortably and I hummed in acknowledgement. He rose to a sitting position and his back was uncomfortably straight. “I… Well… I just wanted to say that, uhm, that I had a lot of fun today. Even though we barely knew each other at the start, thanks for being willing to spend the day with me.”

 

“It’s nothing. I had fun too. I never knew I could have so much fun with a stranger, but I did.” I could sense the change in the atmosphere between us after I said it and the tension that was creeping up stealthily. I just knew that Minki was going to say something that would drastically alter our relationship.

 

“And… About us…” Minki started uncertainly.

 

My heart screamed at me to take that leap of faith, but my mind overruled any irrationality that erratically beating organ had. ‘You’re too young,’ it reasoned. ‘What you feel is not genuine,’ it reasoned. ‘You will regret it,’ it reasoned.

 

‘The time will always be right for love,’ my heart argued back feebly, but my mind had already ruthlessly stomped down on any other existing rebellious thoughts.

 

“Let’s just hold back first, shall we?” I interrupted. “I’m not even certain about what I really feel about you, but I definitely think that this, whatever it is, is progressing too fast.”

 

I refused to meet his gaze. From the start I had noticed that Minki spoke through his eyes. Right now, they probably portrayed a heartbreaking mixture of love, hurt and sorrow. Yet I couldn’t resist but to steal a quick glimpse, and it killed me to see that I was right. “It’s okay, hyung. I will wait.”

 

I tore my eyes from him and turned away with much difficulty. “It’s settled then. A year from now, on April 14^th 2014, if we still feel the same way about each other, we meet back at the where we first met each other.”