Chapter 1 - Progression

The day had gone on uneventfully as usual. On this day though, there was a difference within him, something triggered by that person he spoke with in the chatroom last night. Trying to be more awake, trying to open his eyes for whoever that male admirer was. he had watched some male trainee closely, much to the surprise of all of them. But there didn't seem to be anyone there really...

(Taecyeon, Seungi, Chansung, Daesung... The list goes on and on but he couldn't find anyone..)

The only one he could really point to having some attraction towards him was a guy called Shun but that guy was not a singer neither a dancer. Rather, he was an openly gay person, a fruitcake in the kindest word he could find for him. He was one of the few guys in his fan club. It couldn't be him.

After music classes was the usual short practice that YG had. It was just for one hour, doing certain dance and he'd looked at everyone more perceptively. He'd seen...

Suengri is dancing with Minzi. Of course, it couldn't be Seungri since he was practically drooling over Minzi that afternoon, I heard they kissed in 'that' club.

Siren was a rave club that was located in downtown. It was near the sea, an abandoned warehouse that had been renovated to be a club. The club itself was immensely popular among the youth in Korea, a place frequented often by teenagers and young adults. However, it was looked down upon by parents and families as they see it as morally wrong to have in this place. It signified a change of culture, a change of the times.

Anyway, moving on, Jiyong had looked on at Seunghyun sitting with Daesung in the corner of the gym. There seemed to be something going on between Seunghyun and Daesung, that much was obvious.

Jiyong looked on at the other members. It was obvious in their eyes that all of them had that silent admiration and dedication towards him. He hadn't been sure who exactly was that specific person from last night. It could be one of them. Eventually, the practice ended and it was time to go on home. The trainee had left and he had no more chance to figure who his secret admirer was. He figured he'd try to find him again in later days...

Closing his eyes briefly, Jiyong let the cool breeze run its soothing fingers on his hair, blowing them as it breathed closely to his face. He was waiting for Taeyang as usual.

Taeyang is a pro dancer, They danced one on one constantly these past few months and he found it a big help to improve his dancing skills. he was thankful for Taeyang, even though sometimes he enough to be annoyed.

"Eiji..." Taeyang had said when he asked him if there was a better trainee than him.. Though true that he had told the person from last night that he had no friends, Taeyang was nearing to fit that description in his life...

"Jiyong, are you ok?" That ready smile and those friendly gestures directed at him. It was one of the more confusing things about him. Taeyang was calm and relaxed enough to not let his stoicism affect him.

We danced for an hour or so...

Dribbling once again though, Taeyang paused suddenly as lightning cut through the sky and thunder roared. He saw Jiyong pause too and they looked on up at the sky, surprised at the change in weather. Up high, it had become grey in this late afternoon and small lightnings flashed by silently in the distance, the low rumbling of thunder following each one after a few intervals. Slowly, tiny water droplets pelted on the ground and into their clothes and skin, alerting both boys. It was a risk to the health obviously especially after a sweaty afternoon of one on one.

"I guess I've got to go..." Jiyong stood up straight.

"Hey! You can't just go home like this!" Taeyang exclaimed, gaining the younger boy's attention. When Jiyong looked at him, he smiled impeccably. "Look, my house is nearer here and I brought an umbrella so that we don't have to get wet on our way there. Besides, your apartment is too far away and you'll just risk yourself to get wet and get sick. I can't allow that, can't I?"

Surprised and confused at that personality that Taeyang had, Jiyong restrained his reaction. Listening to the statement though, it made sense to him to just do what Taeyang had said. He'd gone on to Taeyang's home before and had met his brother and mother. Taeyang had forced him to go on home with him to watch an old movie called 'Interview with a Vampire' since the Taeyang had been obsessed with vampires that time. He'd gone on and watched with him. He found he rather enjoyed the movie but had been a bit uneasy at the homoual undertones between the characters Lestat and Louis. At that time, he had worried if Taeyang noticed it, but then there was no reaction on the other boy's part. He may have forgotten or he may not have noticed it at all. Anyway, he had gone on a few more times to Taeyang's house for a snack after their dancing practice where Taeyang's mother was so friendly to keep him fed until he couldn't handle a night meal afterwards. At those times, he had felt a bit sorrowful at the difference between Taeyang and himself with regards to family but he took those moments for what they were, just happy to be invited in a warm home. That was that.

"Jiyong? Hey, snap out of it!" A chuckle and Jiyong focused on the other person in front of him. Taeyang had already had his bag hanging from his shoulder, his umbrella covering them both from the rain. He also had Jiyong's bag in his hands, a teasing smirk on his lips.

"I... sorry..." Jiyong mentally kicked himself for his sudden musing and took the bag gratefully from Taeyang's hands.

"So, you're coming, right? Mom and dad's not home. I'm not sure if bro is home either but there's some snacks available in the refrigerator... unlike yours." Taeyang rolled his eyes mockingly at Jiyong as they began to walk out of the park.

"I guess I could come..." Jiyong just muttered, not really thinking of his response. He went on to unlock his bike and they walked together side by side along the sea where the high cemented pathway prevented the waves from going to the streets. He'd heard the tease about his often empty refrigerator and just shrugged. Taeyang often chided him with regards to his food shortage since after he'd discovered it when Jiyong had first brought Taeyang over to his apartment. Since then, Taeyang sometimes scolded him enough to come with him to buy some goods for himself. He was thankful for that since when he was hungry at home, he could just look on at the storage. It had been a while though since he'd last shopped and his supplies were running rather low...

"You're thinking again..."

Jiyong looked slowly towards the side to meet his eyes. He shrugged.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Random things..."

"Hmm, really?" Taeyang asked nonchalantly, casually watching as Jiyong let his bicycle roll on beside him.

Jiyong shrugged again. Suddenly, he remembered something. It was something he forgot while playing with Taeyang - about his so-called secret admirer. Perhaps he should ask Taeyang if he knew someone... But then again, that would be weird, wouldn't it? Perhaps he'd just ask about something else...

"Taeyang..."

"What?"

"Siren. You know about it?"

Taeyang looked at him in surprise, something flashing across his eyes. Jiyong couldn't read his expressions though as the surprise was quickly smoothed over with a grin. " It's a club in downtown. I've been there many times."

"What's it like?"

"Heh, you actually interested in socializing, Jiyong? The world must be ending!"

Jiyong rolled his eyes in annoyance. "I was just curious..."

"Okay, okay, no need to be so defensive." Taeyang smirked with a wink. "Anyway, it's a rave club that's got freedom unlike other rave clubs. What I mean is that you're free to be yourself there, to express yourself. If you like goth, you could look like one. If you're gay, you could act like one. If you want to crossdress, you're free to do so. A freedom club. And the music is just great. The DJs are very popular."

"You often go there?" Jiyong asked, raising a brow. Taeyang had never told him this. Maybe Taeyang would have a clue on who his admirer was since that person from last night found him in that chatroom after all. Tonight, he would have to ask him about it...

"Yeah, I often go there. Actually, lots of trainees go there and many students I know. You won't believe who I've run into so far..." Taeyang grinned, his eyes twinkling in humour.

"Who?" Jiyong couldn't help but be curious, not really one to gossip often. And since there was the possibility of hearing about trainees he knew being queer or whatever, this was an interesting subject.

Taeyang laughed. "There were actually gay and lesbian couples in dancing. I never told you, haven't I? Oh, well, there were Eunhyuk and Donghae. They were a very sweet couple."

" Eunhyuk and Donghae!?!" Jiyong's eyes widened, not being able to prevent it.

"Yup, They are cute indeed. and Siwon is Bi, It gets crazy when he start flirting with Donghae. Eunhyuk is so protective when it comes to his Donghae hahahahah.. "

"It's looks like a complicated triangle love if you ask me..." Jiyong looked out into the sea, his surprise staggering. Sometimes ignorance was bliss but not this time.. "Anyway, who else did you see?"

"Yunho and Jaejoong..can you believe it"

"What!?!" Jiyong's eyes widened and he looked intensely at Taeyang.

"Hah!" Taeyang smirked, suddenly laughing. "I love that reaction!"

"You provoked me..." Jiyong realized with a frown. He rolled his eyes and looked on to the side.

"Hey, stop pouting. You're ruining your face. Anyway, I saw them kissing "

"Oh..." Jiyong muttered, calming down a bit. "Who else did you see?"

"Yuri and Jessica from SM are dating too. Quite an amazing sight since they looked so good together..."

"Really? I didn't know there's lisbian pairing in SM" Jiyong was shocked about this lovely pairing.

"no there's even plenty lesbians pairing in SM.. for example Tiffany and Tayeon, Krystal and Amber, Yoona and Seohyun..so many other pairing that I can't think of just now...ohh by the way I also saw Seunghyun and Daesung... I bet this one you at least know."

"Yeah, I noticed them..." Jiyong muttered. "Seunghyun lightens up when Daesung sitting beside him".

They continued walking on. Finally reaching a neighbourhood, they stepped off the concrete barricade to the sea and went on to Taeyang's home. Walking side by side, he suddenly noticed that the rain had turned to a slight drizzle before slowly ceasing into nothing as Taeyang finally closed the umbrella.

"You like rainbows, don't you?" Taeyang paused at the twitch at the corner of Jiyong's lips, their walk ceasing.

When Jiyong looked at Taeyang, he was surprised to see that the other  boy's cobalt gaze was focused entirely at him. Feeling a bit uneasy, he put his focus again up to the said rainbow. "It's something complicated... but I like it..."

"There was a story I heard from another religion." Taeyang muttered, smiling at the graceful arch of Jiyong's neck, "It said that once long ago, there was a great flood that engulfed the world. It killed so much living creatures but one ship of a family and two of each kind of animal were saved. That was Noah who had built that ship"

"What does that have to do with a rainbow?"

"After the flood, when the lands were dry again, the first rainbow appeared." Taeyang smiled up to the sky. "It was a symbol of promise that God will never kill the world with flood as big as that one again..."

"I think I've heard of it." Jiyong looked slowly from the rainbow to Taeyang, noticing the calm familiar smile on Taeyang's face. He admired that smile, the way it always seemed to be present, ever ready to be shown even to him. "From the Christian Bible in the Old Testament."

Surprised, Taeyang looked down to see Jiyong looking at him. "Huh? You know about that?"

"I think my grandmother was a Christian and she used to read the Bible. It was too early in my life though. I could barely remember."

"You never did tell me about your family..." Taeyang spoke his thoughts before cringing at his disrespect at Jiyong's privacy. Looking off to the side though as they began to walk again, Jiyong didn't seem to mind. The younger boy seemed to be thinking...

(No family, no friends...) Jiyong didn't know why he suddenly recalled his words to that other boy from last night. He wondered why Taeyang suddenly asked him about his family. Perhaps Taeyang had finally spoken his curiosity. He didn't mind though, telling some things to Taeyang. For a moment, he stayed silent, not knowing what to say. He looked on up to the sky as they walked. Instead of the rainbow and the sky though, he saw the autumn trees that signified this season they were in now. Bright orange leaves contrasted greatly with the dark chocolate colour of the trees they were attached to. A wind suddenly ruffled those leaves, destroying the bond between tree and leaves like a parent to a child. The branches swayed and a faint swishing sound was heard, bright orange leaves falling slowly to the ground. It looked truly beautiful.

"I used to play in a pile of autumn leaves when I was little..." He did not know why he said that but shrugged and went on. "After my grandfather raked them, I jumped on them because they tickled my skin and they were like a cushion."

Taeyang just grinned, intending to share stories of childhood with the other  boy. Jiyong looked down and mumbled "I used to do the same thing too. Every time I did though, my mom spanked me." Surprised at Jiyong's sudden words, Taeyang laughed "I really wanna see that! a cute guy like you getting spanked is very tempting.. sorry for being blunt"

There was a definite small laugh that escaped Jiyong's  redden face. and Taeyang was amazed to see such an expression. He looked on closely at Jiyong's obvious restraint and the sudden quieting of those lips. Taeyang frowned. "First time I hear you laugh and you stop it right away. I like hearing you laugh. You should do it more often, you know you're so cute when you blush" When Jiyong looked at him, he just smirked and winked.

Jiyong looked at that smirk and he shook his head. He knew not how to react. However, he appreciated it that Taeyang affected him enough to make him laugh. It was something welcomed in his life. It also made him suddenly realize something...

That now, Taeyang was not just close to becoming his friend...

That Taeyang was actually his one and only friend...

It gave relief inside him but he was wary, knowing the consequences of being close to someone. He knew all about it - the way that in the end, there was always the risk of losing the most precious person in his life.

(And yet...)

Jiyong took one small peek at Taeyang's smile.

(And yet, I appreciate Taeyang.)

"We're here." Taeyang grinned, disrupting Jiyong's thoughts. He lead them both inside the gate to his home and went on to open the door while Jiyong placed his bike underneath a shade. They entered the house to a sound of pulsing music.

Beating like thuds from a living heart, the beats echoed throughout the house, pulsing and pounding. It throbbed like a swell bursting forth, ready to explode. The sight which greeted them was not so ordinary, Yuri and Jessica were moving against gravity in a distinct pattern, like a silky streak of flowing river. They moved - danced.

"Oh, you're home, Taeyang!..." grinning with amusement at the two boys at the doorway.

Taeyang raised a brow and entered, placing the wet umbrella out to dry before closing the door behind him. " What's up Yuri-ahh. I thought you're not going to find the spare key I left for you under the rock"

" Yeah I bit I won't find it, luckily Sica was here to help me, without her I will never find it.. ohh Hi Jiyong!!" Taeyang chuckled looking at Jiyong and quickly explained. he didn't know why he felt the need to explain before Jiyong gets the wrong idea. "Jiyong a lot of things happed recently that I didn't got the chance to tell you. My dad is going to marry Yuri's mom.. yep can you believe that? Yuri is going to be my step sister! ". Jiyong's eyes widened from the sudden news, It was surly a surprising news but then again... he always see Yuri and Taeyang like a real brother and sister. they have so much thing in common, It felt so right.

Yuri smiled holding Sica "Yeaah I know Jiyong, you don't need  to say anything, I know Taeyang and I are like brotherly/Sisterly match made in heaven!.. right Sica baby " She grinned hugging Jessica tightly while kissing her forehead. Jiyong smiled looking at the cute couple in front of him. Taeyang looked at Jiyong and winked "see I told you they are a couple".  Jessica noticed that and let herself out from Yuri's tight grip while explaining " Tomorrow, we're going to Siren. You want to come?" Maybe you'd like to bring Jiyong too with you, It would be fun"

Taeyang grinned at the look on Yuri's face and knew the hidden meaning behind Jessica's words. they both had known about his admiration towards the boy beside himself. they were the only ones who knew about his dual uality.. Looking to his side, he saw that Jiyong was off to his little world, not paying attention. He remembered distinctly Jiyong's interest at that club and this was one chance to get Jiyong to socialize, right?

"Jiyong..."

"Huh?" Jiyong looked on back at Taeyang's face and almost frowned at the smirk directed at him. Undoubtedly, Taeyang was up to something no good.

"Since you seem to be interested in Siren, why not go with us tomorrow? Yuri and Jessica are going and I guess I'll come too. Now's your chance to see what's it like."

Jiyong frowned. The truth was he was curious. But then, he was too reserved for events like this one. He was just too unused to people... After all, it had taken months for him to be able to just speak comfortably with Taeyang. And now, this? To go to Siren was too much...

(Fear... Perhaps, that's it. I don't know why I fear it but perhaps to be free of my bounds would mean to escape from the safety of my own shell. To be able to open up just like that...

(That isn't me.)

"I... Maybe another time." He looked on at Taeyang and saw the restrained disappointment in those eyes. A shame... He hated to see anything else but happiness in those eyes since anything else seemed so foreign and so out of place.

"Come on." Taeyang tried again, trying to urge. "It'll be fun. I promise."

"No."

Taeyang sighed, looking on at Yuri with a shake of his head. "Can't convince him. Maybe another time for him. I guess I have yet to convince him."

***

After showering and borrowing some clothes from Taeyang, it was Taeyang's turn to shower and Jiyong went on down to the kitchen upon Taeyang's insistence, looking for something they both could snack on. he saw Jessica sitting on Yuri's lap playing with her ipad in the kitchen table. Jessica was whispering something to Yuri while Yuri is happily feeding her some fruits. An amused expression placed on Jiyong's face. Seeing what couples do wasn't his interest, but there's something about these two girls that makes him hard to tear his eyes off them. Maybe because the same uality strikes  his interest.

"Do you like girls on girls action? if you do then there's so many videos I got, you can borrow them if you want" Yuri Said while kissing her Jessica.  

"thanks but I'm not interested in women..." Jiyong could only mutter in response, not really caring what they will thought about that. He would care perhaps if it was Taeyang who was there right now. He picked up two pears from the bottom drawer of the refrigerator and closed the door. He stood up and began to walk on back to Taeyang's room. Looking sideward though, he noted the surprise in Yuri's and Jessica's eyes. Then Yuri cackled.

"Really? So, you're gay? What an interesting thing..." Her eyes gleamed. "And I guess it's kind of obvious, having a large female fan base and not paying them any attention - at all"

Jessica Smiled when Jiyong left and looked back at Yuri " Yuri-aaah, remember the bit we made last month?" Yuri nodded looking at Jessica beautiful eyes, Jessica smiled and whispered into Yuri ear and said softly "I won!..."

---------------

He entered the room and met Taeyang towelling his hair, his torso bare to the air. He watched the strong muscles for one moment then looked away, trying not to blush. It was a wrong thing... To be attracted to his friend in a physical manner just like that... It was disgraceful to just be this person with a preference that was frowned upon by society. And to look at Taeyang just like that... It was shameful.

"Hey..." Taeyang greeted, a warm smile on his face.

Jiyong looked up and saw the easy smile on that face, noticing how much he wanted that smile to never vanish just because he couldn't smile himself. He looked down at his hands before tossing one of the pears he held, watching the graceful way it flew in the air as it slowly descended to the ready hand of Taeyang.

"you want to stay for dinner? I think Jessica is making casserole tonight. You like that, don't you?"

"I liked it, but I'm going home actually." Jiyong responded with a small shrug. "I'm going to practice early tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? Tomorrow's Saturday, isn't it? Hey, that reminds me about Siren since after tomorrow would be Sunday - no classes. You really should go with us! It's a great place. Don't worry, if you don't want to drink then you don't have to. I just want you there with us. So, please?" Taeyang gave his pleading smile, hoping it'll work.

Jiyong however was not so sure about going to that club. "Why would you want me to go?"

"I want you to have fun too, of course!" At Jiyong's confusion, Taeyang just snickered. "I know you, Jiyong. You'll either lock yourself in your apartment sleeping endlessly or you'd be practicing dancing. Go out and have fun! You're young, beautiful - "

"Beautiful?" Jiyong asked in confusion. "I'm not a girl..."

"Heh, but you are! Don't you ever listen to your many fans?" Taeyang laughed.

"I'm not a girl..."

"Alright, alright..." Taeyang snickered, not being able to help himself. "Anyway, as I was saying, you're young, beautiful, popular. But you need to be happy too, you know? Who knows? Maybe you'll find someone special in Siren..."

Jiyong looked up in surprise. His mind conjured one possibility as he recalled...

('SOL'... That male dancing trainee who admired /me/. He should be in Siren, shouldn't he? Maybe I could find out...)

"So, please?" Taeyang blinked his eyes, trying for that pretty, adorable look. He was intensely gratified by the small laugh that escaped Jiyong yet again. He wished Jiyong would agree to come...

"Alright, fine..." Jiyong rolled his eyes in annoyance, wondering why Taeyang could easily manipulate him like this. "If I don't like it, I could go on home though, alright?"

"Fine, fine!" Taeyang grinned, jumping for joy. "As long as you'll be there at least!" He rushed to Jiyong and clutched his shirt, trying to make Jiyong jump with him. The younger boy only shook his head though, not understanding the constant cheerfulness of Taeyang. He tried to not notice the toned body that was just an arm's length away.

"Okay, okay, I understand..." Jiyong muttered, trying to pry Taeyang's hands of the shirt he was wearing... Taeyang's shirt. He tried not to sigh and went over to his things, packing up his belongings. He had to still do some homework after all and chat with that mysterious admirer of his. He stood up, seeing Taeyang's eyes on him. "I gotta go..."

"So, I'll see you tomorrow?" Taeyang asked.

"After dinner, right? YG would have a long practice tomorrow, I think."

"I know" I'll pick you up at 8:00 pm , if that's alright with you. I think Yuri and Jessica would go on ahead since SM classes would only be until 3:00 pm in the afternoon. Siren would be until dawn anyway so time's not a problem. I promise you'll enjoy it Ji Ji Ji Baby baby babe!"

"Youngbae..." Jiyong could only mutter as he opened the door to Taeyang's room. "Don't call me that."

"Yeah, well - " Before any smart response could be heared from the older boy, Jiyong left the room and closed the door, a small smirk on his face.

Taeyang paused though for a while upon the realization of something.

(Youngbae...) was what Jiyong called him. With a bright smile on his face, he rushed on downstairs to tell Yuri about all the details.

***

Jiyong waited as he logged on to the internet. It was 9 pm . He'd changed his clothes, ate dinner, vacuumed and done his homework... all in the span of two hours. He'd even checked his homework twice, glad that it was flawlessly without error. During the tournaments months back, he hadn't had time to study much since he focused all his energies on singing and dancing.

That familiar low hum was heard suddenly and Jiyong looked at the screen as he had finally logged on. The chat program had already been loaded earlier on so he merely connected to the local server, listed the channels and entered the boringly named chatroom # Siren Clubhouse. He looked on at the names of those present... There was no 'SOL' yet. He had to wait perhaps.

Knowing he had to wait, Jiyong changed the window to the channels list, wanting to go on to his usual chatrooms, just to check on what people these days were talking about. He entered # YG.

(Panda) HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Jiyong's eyes bugged out, knowing who exactly who that person was. Just that nickname and the whole of YG would know exactly who it was. He groaned and rolled his eyes.

(Panda) Ore wa Panda! Ore wa Panda!

Jiyong couldn't handle it anymore, wanting to retort so badly to the fool. He closed # YG just to restrain himself.

Looking at the channels list, one channel caught his attention - one related with his sinful self.

# Gay-Boys... That was what it was called. For a while, he had always stared at it and ignored it. He figured he didn't have to acknowledge his uality with others like himself even in the net. He didn't really care what people think and he was comfortable enough to say it... in the net. But to talk about it... That was another matter. Jiyong recalled today in Taeyang's room, seeing his friend's sculpted upper body, that sinful desire to touch him... It was an insane feeling, something he had never felt for anyone else...

Jiyong groaned. Well, alright, he'd looked at some of his team-mates quite a few times and he did like seeing some of them. Daesung was very handsome and his body looked both like a dancing trainee's and a fighter's. For quite a while, he had admired Daesung physical appearance.

Anyway...

# Gay-Boys... Should he or should he not?

Knowing that sooner or later, he was going to anyway, Jiyong clicked on the chatroom and entered it. Inside, there was lots of conversation. They were talking about how they came out, how emotional and whatever. Jiyong knew more than half of the people on the chatroom were not actually boys but erted middle aged men who had dirty intentions. He even knew that some of them were girls pretending to be guys. Those crazy fans again...

Looking for awhile at the conversations, Jiyong wondered what to say. However, his thoughts were interrupted as one after the other, individual people sent messages to him.

On one window...

(Jinpai) Look at my pic baby and tell me what you think... (attachment: please confirm download)

He closed that one immediately and moved on to the next window.

(Yue) a
(XXX_Drg) 17... no s/l?
(Yue) Since I'm sure you're gay...
(XXX_Drg) Smart... So... a?
(Yue) 19

Jiyong could only wonder why Yue had to ask.

(Yue) Tell me about yourself...
(XXX_Drg) Uh, tall, pale... A bit on the thin side.
(Yue) Perfect.
(XXX_Drg) You?
(Yue) Very tall as in 6'6", muscular, tanned, smooth. I have a on S/M and am very much a top.
(XXX_Drg) S/M?
(Yue) ... You don't know about this yet?
(XXX_Drg) I know about ... Read a bit about them. Chains, whips, spanking, cuffs...
(Yue) *grin* You educate youself. That's good. Anyway, I assume you like to be bottom.
(XXX_Drg) Er... Yeah, I think...
(Yue) Perfect. What do you look like?
(XXX_Drg) Already told you.
(Yue) No, I mean your face.
(XXX_Drg) Oh... My hair's sort of long now. No haircut for awhile. Bangs are long enough to cover the front of my face. Straight black, skin's pale...

There was a sudden 'ding' and a new window opened. Feeling a bit annoyed at his conversation with Yue being interrupted, Jiyong glared at the new window. However, he stopped when he noticed that the person who initiated the chatroom was none other than 'SOL'.

(SOL) Hello! How was your day? ^_^ I'm in such a good mood...
(XXX_Drg) Oh, hi... Why are you in a good mood?
(SOL) Because I've seen my crush today and he was actually paying attention!
(XXX_Drg) Paying attention?
(SOL) As in he was not being a robot today. That was nice...

Jiyong paused, seeing something flashing at the bottom of the windows list. The conversation with Yue... He'd forgotten... He went back immediately to SOL just to tell him to wait awhile.

(XXX_Drg) Hey, wait awhile. I'm just going to end my conversation with someone.
(SOL) Yeah, fine...

Jiyong switched the window to the one with Yue.

(Yue) I'm sure you're very beautiful in real life.
(Yue) Hey... You still there?
(Yue) Hello?
(Yue) You abandon me or something?
(Yue) Hello!
(XXX_Drg) Oh sorry... Someone I know just came online.
(Yue) Oh, okay. So, where were we?
(XXX_Drg) *shrug*
(Yue) Oh yeah, I was just going to propose. You wanna cyber?

Jiyong's eyes widened, not entirely expecting that. He had to close the window of course but somehow, he was curious. His morals won over though and he sighed at the opportunity.

(XXX_Drg) Sorry, I can't...
(Yue) Why not? Are you busy?
(XXX_Drg) No, but...
(Yue) Come on. You've teased me so much with how pretty you look. Come on!
(XXX_Drg) No, sorry.

With that, Jiyong closed the window and looked on at the conversation with SOL.

(XXX_Drg) I'm back.
(SOL) Great! Where were you?
(XXX_Drg) Some guy was... er...
(SOL) Cyber?
(XXX_Drg) Uh, yeah...
(SOL) Let me guess. You haven't even cybered yet, haven't you?
(XXX_Drg) ...
(SOL) What an innocent! You're so adorable! Just like someone I know...
(XXX_Drg) ...
(SOL) So, wanna cyber?
(XXX_Drg) Nah...
(SOL) You must be curious though. I know these things...
(XXX_Drg) I'm curious but...
(SOL) Not tonight? Hmm, you sound troubled... Oh wait, I can't hear you... *laugh*
(XXX_Drg) *rolls eyes* Anyway, what did you do today?
(SOL) Oh, the usual things a high school student does. Studies then dancing... And I saw Kwon-chan today! Damn it, he's too damn gorgeous... Anyway, what did you do today?
(XXX_Drg) Uhm, the usual too.
(SOL) Oh, you never did say what your extracurricular activity is. Mine's dancing... yours?
(XXX_Drg) Nothing in particular. Maybe just hanging out with my friend...
(SOL) Friend? Did you just say friend??? Wow, congratulations! You now have a friend! That's good.
(XXX_Drg) Yeah...
(SOL) Heh, a friend is precious. Never let go of that person. So who is he/she?
(XXX_Drg) It's a he. He's... some guy...
(SOL) Hah, is he someone you just met?
(XXX_Drg) I've been with him for quite awhile. I never really looked at him as a friend until recently.
(SOL) I guess you were reluctant.
(XXX_Drg) Why do you say that?
(SOL) People feel pain easily. From what I've heard about you, you seemed to have experienced much pain. You feared to be hurt for a long time perhaps, afraid to be left alone again, afraid to be abandoned... Am I right?
(XXX_Drg) Are you sure you're 17?
(SOL) Huh? Why?
(XXX_Drg) You speak like an old man...
(SOL) Heh, my grandfather and parents are philosophical. I'm the youngest in the family and everyone else is older than me. They're all matured... most of the time. I have no choice but to emulate them.
(XXX_Drg) ...
(SOL) You remind me of someone I know...
(XXX_Drg) You too...
(SOL) He's alone too, you know. I feel he's afraid too. Afraid to love and be left. So deserving of love... Yet he did not have it...
(XXX_Drg) ...
(SOL) Speechless, eh? ^_^
(XXX_Drg) Can't think of anything to talk about...
(SOL) Let's cyber then!
(XXX_Drg) ert!
(SOL) Hehehe... So anyway, you never did tell me how you looked like.
(XXX_Drg) If I told you, would you tell me how you looked like?
(SOL) Maybe...
(XXX_Drg) I can't trust you.
(SOL) Huh? Why?
(XXX_Drg) Because you'll say 'Secret!' again...
(SOL) Hah, you're beginning to know me. ^o^ So, we can't say our descriptions to each other then...
(XXX_Drg) That's for the best...
(SOL) Why?
(XXX_Drg) I feel like I know you.
(SOL) Same here. ^_^ So, anyway, what do you want to talk about tonight?
(XXX_Drg) Uhm, actually, since you have much experience...

(XXX_Drg) I was talking about experience but not in that way. I don't know how to explain it...
(SOL) Just say it. ^_^
(XXX_Drg) I said I have this friend, right?
(SOL) Your new friend. Right...
(XXX_Drg) Have you ever been attracted... to your closest friend?

Taeyang looked at the screen and actually paused. Those words just hit the mark. He wondered who this XXX_Drg was but there was no other way to find out except to talk to him. They were so similar, as if reflections of each other. He decided to find out more.

(XXX_Drg) Hello?
(SOL) Oh sorry... Uh, anyway, yeah, I think this kind of thing happens to a lot of friends.
(XXX_Drg) Just today...
(SOL) Yeah?
(XXX_Drg) Well, he's an athelete.
(SOL) Interesting...

Jiyong knew another lie must be made up.

(XXX_Drg) A soccer forward.
(SOL) Oh.
(XXX_Drg) Oh?
(SOL) I was hoping we would have the same crush... A dancing trainee.
(XXX_Drg) Sorry to disappoint you.
(SOL) Heh, you could always have a crush on me.
(XXX_Drg) *ignore*
(SOL) LOL... Anyway, if you had one crush on one kpop celebrity though... Wait, you do know the kpop celebrities, don't you?
(XXX_Drg) Yeah.
(SOL) Good good. Anyway, if you had one crush on one, who would it be?

(XXX_Drg) Taeyang, I  guess Taeyang.
(SOL) WHAT?!?
(XXX_Drg) Since you're a dancing trainee, you know him right?
(SOL) Know him? I... er... He's very famous!
(XXX_Drg) Yes. That's obvious.
(SOL) *laugh*
(XXX_Drg) What?
(SOL) You know it's funny...
(XXX_Drg) What's funny?
(SOL) Our crushes. Your crush and my crush... Taeyang and Jiyong.
(XXX_Drg) What?
(SOL) They hang out together often, don't they? I know they're always dancing one on one. Kind of suspicious, don't you think?
(XXX_Drg) What do you mean suspicious?
(SOL) Well, what if they were lovers?
(XXX_Drg) NO!
(SOL) Eh?
(XXX_Drg) I mean... Taeyang wouldn't have that relationship with Jiyong... right?
(SOL) You're naive. If it happens, it happens. Anyway, I think they look cute together. Even if I have a major crush on Kwon-chan, I think Taeyang would be good for him. Ah! I think I'm a fan of them now. Taeyang and Kwon-chan!
(XXX_Drg) Oh boy...
(SOL) Hehehe... You're jealous of Jiyong since he likes Taeyang. I thought you had your soccer trainee boyfriend already...
(XXX_Drg) First of all, you don't know if that's true between Jiyong and Taeyang.
(SOL) It'll only be a matter of time...
(XXX_Drg) Second of all, my friend isn't my boyfriend.
(SOL) Again, it'll only be a matter of time. ^_~
(XXX_Drg) ...
(SOL) Anyway, let's change the subject since your attraction to Taeyang seems to be hurting you whenever I mention Jiyong's name.
(XXX_Drg) It's not like that!
(SOL) Yeah, yeah.. Anyway, what was your problem with your soccer trainee again?
(XXX_Drg) Uh, yeah... Just today, he was half- and I was near him. I... I...
(SOL) You wanted him.
(XXX_Drg) I think...
(SOL) Congratulations, my boy, you're growing up!
(XXX_Drg) *rolls eyes*
(SOL) Hehehe...
(XXX_Drg) Anyway, what'll I do? You know these things, right?
(SOL) Act natural. If it happens, it happens.
(XXX_Drg) I don't know how to make it happen.
(SOL) Spend lots of time with him. Eventually, an opportunity comes up. If you see your chance, take it!
(XXX_Drg) Chance for what?
(SOL) Chance to bang your soccer trainee of course!
(XXX_Drg) Er, that's the problem...
(SOL) What is?
(XXX_Drg) I know nothing about initiating something or at least responding.
(SOL) *shakes head* Learn. Read magazines, mangas, sites. Educate yourself on what to do.
(XXX_Drg) I guess...
(SOL) Oh and if you want to learn from a pro, you just ask me.
(XXX_Drg) You never slept with a guy before though...
(SOL) Oh yeah... Anyway, we could always learn together! I don't know how to sleep with a guy too, you know. One of these days, let's try cybering after learning more about how it works. You agree to that?
(XXX_Drg) Huh? Well...
(SOL) What? You want to learn it with someone else? And you can't just go to have unprepared, you know!
(XXX_Drg) I guess...
(SOL) Well, alright then, let's cyber in the future. Til then, I think it's late. Let's talk again another night.
(XXX_Drg) Oh wait!
(SOL) Huh?
(XXX_Drg) Since you found me on that certain chatroom, do you often go to Siren?
(SOL) I'll go tomorrow with friends... Why? Are you going too?
(XXX_Drg) Maybe.
(SOL) Going with your soccer friend? That'll be your chance! ^_~
(XXX_Drg) ...
(SOL) Hehehe... Anyway, you wanna meet?
(XXX_Drg) Er...
(SOL) That's okay. We could meet once we're really at ease with each other. By then, you'd have your soccer boyfriend to guard you..
(XXX_Drg) *rolls eyes*
(SOL) Heh, nice talking to you again. You really are very interesting. The time we meet, we set up a Taeyang/Jiyong fan club, alright?
(XXX_Drg) ...
(SOL) I gotta go. I had fun! Bye!
*SOL left the chatroom*

***

The morning air warm, the open window of the kitchen welcoming it in. It poured on through to ruffle his spiked hair as he sat at the stool before the counter, munching on toast. Coffee was just boiling in the maker and the bacon and eggs were just being cooked by his lovable elder sister. Taeyang blinked his eyes lazily, a bit sleepy still from chatting last night. The unusual autumn warmth and the golden glow of the atmosphere... If there wasn't any school today, he would have overslept again. Fortunately for him, this morning, Yuri was there to wake him..

"No practice this morning?" Yuri asked, a yawn escaping her lips. She looked as bored as Taeyang as she had only two classes today - both in the afternoon. Blinking down at the fying pan, she noticed that the bacon was cooked. She turned the heat off from the stove and placed bacon on both the ready plates in the counter. Done with that, she handed one of the dishes to her younger brother.

"Thanks, 'Yuri-chan." Taeyang smiled upon the dish placed before him. "And no, I'm not practicing this morning. The one later would be enough for the day... We have one later on in the afternoon. I think that'll be a long practice"

"You excited?"

"About what?"

"About Jiyong joining us for the evening." There was a teasing glint in her eyes.

"Hah, what do you think,Yuri?" Taeyang grinned, rubbing the back of his head. Yuri had always known most of the things in his life. Growing up, they were closest to each other. When he first noticed his attraction towards males, she too had known.

Jiyong living alone but managing to live up to high standards with how clean his place was. The fact that he can cook up a storm, something rare in teenage boys. The way that it was so hard for him to smile but when he did even in the tiniest, most microscopic smile ever, it was enough to make him believe he was in front of heaven's gate. The way that a dream can make Jiyong the best he could be in his chosen field. The way -

"Oh boy, he's lost." Yuri muttered, huffing to herself in amusement.

"Eh? What is it, Yuri-chan?" Taeyang asked with a clueless grin on his face.

"Thinking about him, weren't you?" she asked in a curious tone, as she ate her meal.

"As usual..." Taeyang sighed, a dreamy smile on his face as he leaned his face in his hand, looking blankly ahead of him.

"Why don't you just tell the boy? I think he likes you too, you know. And finally, yesterday, he had said that he was 'not interested in women'. I think that's a sign, Taeyang. A way for him to say he's ready for you."

"It's not that simple... between two guys... Maybe one of these days though. Maybe..."

She rolled her eyes, obviously annoyed. "As between two girls is simple! Taeyang you should make the first move.. If I didn't do the first step Sooyoung would steal here away from me. so I advice you to hurry up, you don't want anyone to steal him away from you... Anyway, you said you chatted with that mystery person again, didn't you? What'd he say this time?"

"Oh yeah. He gets more interesting as time goes by. I found something really valuable last night."

"And that is?"

"It turns out that that person has a crush on me." Taeyang laughed.

"Eh?" Yuri looked up from her plate, eyes wide. "Wow, that's really coincidental, isn't it? And suddenly you have your first known male admirer. What school is he from?"

"He said SM... I doubt it though. He could be from anywhere. I guess I have to be more perceptive of people around me. He said he's going to Siren tonight too."

"SM! HAHAHAH boy I wanna know who's your secret admire. I'll do my own investigation.. Don't worry, I'll be on the lookout on whoever who would be looking at you."

"Heh, thanks..."