Title: Faith

Character: Shim Changmin. OC. Mention of others.

Warn: Mention a lil bit bout yunjae!

Genre: Friendship/General

This is just a fic. What happened here is nothing more than just a part of my imagination with a mix from some info.

Just want to say, if you have read it, I beg you to do it until the end.

Hwaiting!

This fic is dedicated to all casies who almost lose their faith :’)  Enjoy reading ^^v

I was freaking bored and devastated with my Ipad, so I decided to translate this fic.

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There was a young lady with his simple form, running in such a hurry. Once a while, she glanced onto her watch to show that she was late to wherever she was supposed to be. She bumped into many people on her way because of her carelessness. An apology slipped from almost every minute.

Her step then stopped upon seeing what’s in front of her. A smile was plastered in her cute face. After taking a deep breath, she walked inside the building in front of her. A beautiful building with the word ‘SM Town’ on it.

Looks like it would be a long day for the lady to do her task.

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Faith

by eL-ch4n

22.12.2012

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Tired was the word to explain Changmin’s condition right now. After practicing for a new choreography for their upcoming concert, our magnae was sitting on a floor while leaning his back onto the wall. A towel was covering his eyes so that the light won’t touch him.

”Hei, your name’s Shim Changmin, right?” A sudden voice woke Changmin from his daydream. He was shocked to see an unknown lady was beside her.

Could she be a new trainer? Nah. It couldn’t be. As far as he could remember, there was no any new trainer for any girlband in his label. So, who’s this lady then? And how could she know Changmin’s name? Could she be one of those fans? “Who are you?” asked him slowly. He could hear his hesitation in his own voice.

The girl chuckled. “Hihi, you’re just funny as they say you are.”

Alright, now Changmin was a bit startled and he felt that this girl was a bit scary. Who was she referring to with them? “Could you mind stop saying something so ambiguous and tell me why you are here? Forget it, tell me, how could you get in here?

“Of course using the door, duh, are you clever or not?” mocked the lady. Seeing the glare she received from Changmin, the lady started to let a breath. “Okay, I was indeed using a door, but maybe not the way you think it. Ah, never mind, I don’t have much time and I’m almost late. Come on. Let’s go!”

Didn’t get a chance to reply, Changmin’s body was being dragged by the lady to somewhere he didn’t know. Well, Changmin actually can just pull his hand seeing as he was practically fitter than the girl, yet somehow he felt something attract him from the girl. Maybe, just maybe, the girl in front of him could give him answer to his questions.

With so much force and speed that Changmin didn’t know the girl had, he was practically already out from the SM building. Most of all, there was no officer or his manager stopping or asking where he was going. It was weird, but Changmin decided to ignore it. He glanced onto the lady, who grabbed his hands, was looking right and left looking for something. After finding what she had been looking for, Changmin was once again being pulled and he could just only let the lady do whatever she wanted to do.

“Hey!” shouted him as they were in a sudden stop. “Could you please give a warning first before stopping?”

The girl turned his body and smiled brightly to Changmin that made the idol’s confused. “Come one!” shouted the girl once again while pulling Changmin to a park. Changmin didn’t know there was a park nearby, not that he had time to look around though. Practically with the crowding fans and such, especially those antis. So, he couldn’t spend his time outside without any securities and disguise.

It’s hard to be an artist, he thought.

”Hey!” His daydreaming was once again being disrupted by the lady, who waved her hand in front of him. “Are you okay?” she asked softly.

Changmin sighed before nodding. “Yeah, so what do you want me here?”

Once again, a wide smile shown on her face. Changmin could not stop thinking, how could this lady smile so brightly like there was nothing wrong in her life? “Here, sit here!” exclaimed her. She dragged Changmin to sit on one of the empty benches. After they settled to sit, the girl looked at the sky, where the birds were flying.

Feeling ignored, Changmin let out another sigh and tried to observe the surrounding. He could see some children playing with their parents or an old couple enjoying the view. The situation there was so in peace, like no one was having a problem at all.

”Long time ago,” started the lady. The magnae’s head turned to face the lady who finally opened her voice. “This place was so quite and deserted, no playground, no childrend played. Nothing. So dark and scary.”

Both Changmin’s eyes widen, shocked to hear the girl’s statement. He could not believe that this place was once a horrible place. Well, but that’s the mystery of the life, right? Changmin kept silent because he realized the girl wanted to continue her statement. “You know what made this place change drastically?”

Changmin shook his head hastily when the lady looked at her asking that question. The lady giggled. “Well, just a sink and a bench we sat down onto. A simple thing, is it not? (1)”

If before Changmin looked at her with shocking face, now he looked at her like she was talking insane. A faucet and a bench? “There’re swing and other stuffs here!” he said.

The girl chuckled. “Well, it was before those stuffs were here. There were only a faucet and a bench here, but it wasn enough to gain attention from the people to finally to take care of this park.”

Quickly, Changmin turned to watch the park, which turned crowded, once again. It seemed many parents kept bringing their child to come here to play.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” whispered the girl. “But for this, there was a price to pay. Because this place used to be dark and scary, there were so many abduction happened in this place. Until finally one of those abductions was found killed that this place being taken care of. Irony, isn’t it?”

A slow nod was given as the answer from the idol. He enjoyed the breezing wind right now. It felt so long for him to be himself, Shim Changmin and not Max or Choikang Changmin, the magnae of now separated DBSK.

“Let’s go to the next place!”

“Eh?” Once again, he was being dragged to an uknown place. He was thinking what will Yunho say when the leader realized he was not there? Ah, well, sometimes it was okay to let everything loose, right?

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The next place they came into is a…hospital? Changmin was looking at the girl’s back, who seemed preoccupied with something else. Changmin just let him being dragged once again inside the building.

Same with what happened in the training place, the people inside the hospital seemed took no notice of him, or the scariest part, it seemed like no one even saw him there. Changmin took his surrounding and saw how the doctors and nurses dashed to reach upon emergency patients.

They stopped in front of a small room at the end of the hall. From his experience, this room was usually used by those people who couldn’t afford to pay more, unlike his usual VIP room. “What are –“

“Psst!” cut the girl. She put a point finger in front of to give a sign for Changmin to keep quiet.

Once again, Changmin could only let a sigh. He glanced inside. There was a small little girl, who lied down on the bed. That little girl was smiling while opening like singing something, maybe? “Who is she?”

“Your biggest fan,” whispered the girl beside him, slowly.

Instead of getting inside, they (or more likely the girl because Changmin can only stood dumbfounded) chose to stood outside to see the little girl’s mother was sitting beside the little girl while patting the latter’s head slowly. “Her life can’t hold no longer, but hearing your voice, she looked like gaining some spirits to live again.(2)” whispered the lady.

“Yours?” asked Changmin to make sure. If his guess was right…

The lady nodded. “Yeah, yours, Dong Bang Shin Ki, Shim Changmin, Jung Yunho, Kim Jaejoong, Park Yoochun, and Kim Junsu. Five of you are Dong Bang Shin Ki, always, in that little girl’s heart.”

There was a mix of emotion inside of his heart upon hearing the other three members’ name whom he had long not met. Ever since the lawsuit, it was hard for them to meet each other. That chance was used to make those two sides abhorred each other. Changmin still could not think how Yunho could still try to smile and say some like about Jaejoong, who was actually the leader’s lover. Yeah, Yunho and Jaejoong have been dating long ago. There were ups and downs in their relationship and this was probably the downside of their romance.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” asked the lady softly.

Changmin shook his head to get over from his brooding. “Dong Bang Shin Ki is only Yunho-hyung and me. Those three have become JYJ now,” mocked Changmin. He could not understand why he could not control his emotion. No, he didn’t hate those three hyungs, he was more likely disappointed. Yes, disappointed because his hyungs left him, with this stupid situation, and of course, disappointed with himself.

The lady only smiled innocently. “Out there, for some people, Dong Bang Shin Ki may probably left with Yunho-oppa and you, but,” she continued. She put her point finger in front of Changmin’s chest. “We know deep inside here says something different.” A true smile was plastered on the girl’s face made Changmin fascinated.

“No,” he answered firmly. No matter what happen, he had (has) to accept that Dong Bang Shin Ki was not five anymore, no more Jaejoong-hyung to cook and to be umma in the dorm. No more Yoochun-hyung to accompany him to eat at night. No more Junsu-hyung, his playful mate to break the silence between them. What was there now was an empty dorm left only Yunho and him. There was not once on the first period when they lived together that they didn’t talk to each other. “You don’t know,” he hissed.

She smiled delicately. “ Say, Changmin, for you, what’s the true meaning of Dong Bang Shin Ki?”

That question got Changmin. The lady decided to look back inside the room. “Unfortunately, that girl life is not long, no matter how hard the doctors try or the sacrifice the little girl’s mom did.”

Changmin decided to give his attention back to the room. He could see the little girl suddenly coughing and her mom looked worry. Not long, they could hear the doctors’ and nurses’ hurry step. They were so hurry that they didn’t notice Changmin and that lady’s existence. Changmin’s mind is too mixed up that he didn’t realize that. He was worry when seeing the little girl’s coughing blood.

“At least, in her life, she could fill it with your voices and especially, she loves yours Changmin. To her, there is something in your voice that makes her feels her life is worthy. And you know what? Surprisingly, the girl’s so good in drawing. She always draws you guys face and especially you, the face of the man who saved her from her loneliness.”

“Silly, stupid,” hissed Changmin though he could not ignore the sligh little happiness he felt upon hearing the statement.

“True, but when she was alone, when there’s no one. Your voice, all five of yours, always accompany her, let her to fall a deep sleep and Changmin, your voice makes her feel that her life is not just a bull. You don’t know just how many lifes have been saved by your voice. Silly right. Five of you are no God, but that doesn’t mean God could not use you guys to reach so many souls like that girl out there, right?”

Silence. It looked like that Changmin was in a deep thought and without him noticed, his hand was once again being pulled by the lady.

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They were back at the park they came before. This made Changmin think. Was the distance between the park and the hospital closeby?  “Ahh…so refreshing!” shouted the lady. She stretched her hands above. Her eyes staring deeply onto the blue sky.

“Hey, have you heard about JYJ and SM? Finally it’s over right?!” A voice was captured by his earing, especially when he caught JYJ and SM name being brought up. He saw a group of teenage girls were sitting on bench, located on his left side, not far from him. The teenage girls’ voices were so loud that he could hear what they were talking about. Changmin was thinking again, when did those girls come?

“Yup, I’m so glad. Finally JYJ doesn’t have to involve with SM and Homin. I’m so excited!” exclaimed the girl in the middle. Another girl, who was standing on the right side, also shouted with so much energy.

“Yeah, besides, what could be done by homin? Yunho? He has such a weird dance. Eew. Changmin? Beh, that magnae who could only scream? I could do it either, look!” That girl took a long breath and the next second she screamed out loud which made Changmin’s ear suddenly went numb.

Jleb.

The sound of laughter made Changmin’s heart sunk. So, this is how he looked in front of others? Was it true that he had no talent at all? “Yeah, let them be SM’s marionette. Lol. Take that. Who told them not to get out! Stupid! Trying to protect DBSK? What’s there to protect?” Another sound of laughter was heard and Changmin got back with his mind.

His heart beat so fast with so much pain. He held his chest tightly. It had been a long time since he had such pain. Yes, he remembered after that separation, when DBSK divided into JYJ and them, so many critics and insults, saying that they were nothing without the other three. That they were just merely SM’s doll. Changmin knew they were not wrong, but with the support from Yunho-hyung and his best friends made him a little bit vivacious again. Especially with the support from cassiopeia, who are still there for him, he was determined to show that he was the new Shim Changmin. Not only the ‘fifth member’ of DBSK, not only the magnae of DBSK, but as a member who was worthy.

For those reasons, he hold on. For those little red light called cassiopeia who kept supporting Yunho and him. Oh, how sad he felt upon seeing those red oceans decreased every time they did a concert. Was it that easy for them to be forgotten?

“No,” cut the girl. Changmin was startled. He glanced to the lady, who kept a soft smile on her face. Her eyes never left him, only looked deep straight in inside him. “You’re not Shim Changmin who can only scream, you are Shim Changmin who always try to protect your hyungs. You were there, in the middle, to stop Jaejoong-oppa and Yunho-oppa to do more than fan service. You gave you sly remark so people won’t notice Junsu-oppa small fault or Yoochun-oppa’s nervousness.”

“I am just a cold magnae who always hold everything inside himself,” said Changmin.

“True. That is because you don’t know how to share your problem with others. You just don’t want to burden your hyung. Even though you hate skinship, you never fail to smile in front of your fans when you give them a hug or a shake hands. I remember when you said in one of a variety shows (3) about how you guys, who had famous in Korea, had to start again in Japan. You said that the viewers there was so few but it made you feel close with them. Why don’t you think like that again?”

Changmin looked at her, confused. Both of them were facing with each other now. “Number is not a problem right? After all, it will be better to think of one people who support and loving you than those thousands people who hate you. You don’t know, how a simple and little support could make you achieve something bigger. Like thte part, isn’t it? A simple faucet and a bench, with a little sacrifice, and you get a beautiful park with so many people there.”

“We are nothing like they said,” whispered Changmin weakly. It’s true what they said. Dong Bang Shin Ki was nothing without Kim Jaejoong, the umma, Kim Junsu, lead vocal, and Park Yoochun, the dandy boy. They were nothing because those three hyung are the voice, ‘souls’ of Dong Bang Shin Ki. Yunho and him, they were nothing but merely a completion. Even Yunho is better. He was called as a dancing machine. Unlike him. If it was not because of his height, probably no one would notice him.

“JYJ is a traitor!” Another shout was heard from the opposite side. He was shocked for a moment. The teenage girls beside him before was now gone, replaced by the group of teenage girls in front of him. This time they were discussing something different. Judging from their talk, it seemed that those teenagers support Yunho and him?

“Yes, poor Yunho and Changmin! Aish, those three members are gold digger! They could easily forget and throw their brothers like that!” All the girls nodded, agreeing with the statement.

“Ne, I pity Yunho who has to be with Changmin. Hah, if it were Jaejoong, at least YunJae is still there, not Homin. Moreover, it’s not like Changmin is any good. His voice is standard, only his high pitch that is better.”

“You’re right! Hahaha. Well, but still I hate JYJ, pretending to be the good guy, not caring the other member, whom they left like that. Tsck, is that what called as brothers? To think that I used to like Jaejoong make me feel disgusted. Aish.” The one said that shuddered with the thoughts. “Well, if it’s not because of Yunho and Changmin, Dong Bang Shin Ki will not be there. We have to support them. Fighting! Yosh!”

Once again, the magnae felt a mix of emotion. On one side, he was happy to know somebody still support them (or just Yunho), but the other side, he didn’t like a little bit when his three hyungs were being insulted. They didn’t know. They didn’t know how five of them faced it. Jaejoong-hyung cried the most, didn’t want to be separated with Yunho, who kept calming the lead singer. Yoochun-hyung? That hyung of him had curled into a ball and wet with tears. Junsu-hyung? Only looked from behind, but Changmin could see roll of tears on his hyung’s face. While him? He could only stood frozen and thought was this it? Was there no hope? Will all their efforts be for nothing? End like that?

“You guys should stop blaming!” This time, the voice came from the middle of the groups. The voice was firm and a hint of sadness was heard. “We don’t know what happen. It is not fair if we judge each other. Besides, even though DBSK only consists of CHangmin and Yunho, but inside my heart I know they don’t think like that. For me and for them, Dong Bang Shin Ki is and will always be five. Until the light of cassiopeia was out, until then I will keep believing.”

“Stupid. Why do you have to believe with such uncertainty?!” shouted the friend of that girl.

The girl who spoke that statement slowly rose up her head slowly and smiled softly. Changmin was frozen. That face. It couldn’t be? He looked to his side, where that girl who kept dragging him sat. He glanced sight from the empty seat to the girl in front of him. That girl was smiling softly to him.

“Because I’m a cassiopeia.”

In just that instant, Changmin’s body was being pulled by gravitation. He could not move. His hands were stretched, trying to grab something, but to no avail. He was dragged down inside an unseen gravitation hole.

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“Hah. Hah.” His breath was uneven when he opened his eyes. His face was wet with his sweats like he was running for 100 laps non-stop.

“Changmin, are you okay?” A familiar voice was heard beside his left side. He turned around and shocked to find Yunho sat beside him. Weird would be the word to describe his condition right now. He stood hastily and then trying to look his surrounding and could not find what (more likely who) he was looking for.

“Yunho..do you se..her? Urgh, why did I not ask her name before, stupid!” mumbled him that made Yunho looked at the magnae confusingly.

“Changmin, are you sure you’re alright?” asked Yunho with concern.

Feeling useless to search, Changmin then threw himself on a sofa and sat on it. He didn’t even remember how he was on a sofa, while before he was on a floor. “Hyung,” trailed him to Yunho, who was drinking. “Do you regret it?”

Silence

The silence between them made them felt awkward. Changmin suddenly recalled the first three months they lived together. They felt awkward with each other, only gave an exchange formal greetings. It took them those three months to finally accept that there were only two of them in that dorm.

“If you asked whether I regret it, Changmin, then yes,” answered Yunho. He didn’t ask what the magnae was talking about cause he actually knew well. “But, if I kept regretting it, I could not move on. Have we not promised to only look forward?”

“Don’t you feel tired hyung? Isn’t it hard now to contact, Jaejoong-hyung? Your relationship…” Changmin didn’t dare to continue his sentence when he saw the mourning face of his leader.

“Our relationship is not good, if that’s what you’re implying. Yes, but that doesn’t mean we can’t try to get it through. Tired? Yes, Changmin. I am very tired, but seeing that red ocean, which kept their light for us, don’t you feel stupid to be tired?”

“They don’t like us,” hissed Changmin.

Yunho laughed, hearing the statement from his magnae. “Ya! We’re not God, magnae! Of course not all people love us! But, rather than thinking of them, why don’t we think of those who support us wholeheartedly? Hey, you have to know the sacrifice of cassie is a lot and see, their light shine the most in night. Aw come on, you’re the one who gave that name to our fandom, saying how you wished they could shine the brightest in the dark, remember?”

“Number is not a problem right? After all, it will be better to think of one people who support and loving you than those thousands people who hate you. You don’t know, how a simple and little support could make you achieve something bigger. Like thte part, isn’t it? A simple faucet and a bench, with a little sacrifice, and you get a beautiful park with so many people there.”

Changmin then recalled the statement from that lady to him just now. He tried to focus on those who support him, but sometimes it’s hard when all those negative feelings stung his heart. “Hyung, do you believe that we could be together as five again?”

”Nope.” Yunho answered fast and firm.

Changmin’s eyes widen hearing the answer from his leader. Yunho then turned his head so now they were facing each other. Not long, Yunho gave his beautiful smile, a soft smile from Jung Yunho. “Because I know that we will be back as five again.”

Yunho pat Changmin’s shoulder, who was still shock with the answer from his leader. “And until then, why don’t we do our job as a leader and magnae of DBSK to keep that light?” A delicate smile on Yunho’s face made Changmin’s heart shudder. He would not cry, but let this time he felt that warm feeling to move forward.

Dong Bang Shin Ki. Like what that lady said. Physically, Dong Bang Shin Ki only left with Yunho-hyung and him, but in his heart, he knew that Dong Bang Shin Ki will always be five. He didn’t know who that layd was, but he felt grateful for her for now his heart was better. He didn’t know what would wait ahead of them, but as long as he kept that faith, everything will be alright.

Like what always been said,

Always Keep the Faith!

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Oh, you guys were wondering who was that girl?

Well, she had introduced herself before, right?

You don’t realize?

Oh well, here’s what she said.

“Because I’m a cassiopeia.”

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The End

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AN:

Some event I took:

(1)Detective Conan (I forget which one, seriously I’ve something wrong with my memory)

(2)A story about a young girl who got her life spirit upon hearing DBSK song, I forget the link. If I recall it right, the little girl die :’(

(3)I guess this one’s from ‘Do Dream’

I’ve been longing to make this fic. About the member who lose faith. Since my bias is Changmin, so, I made him the character. Besides, since he’s the magnae, he’s the one who’s not very stable, I guess  .___.)

Changmin was like a symbol of a friend of mine who almost lose her faith. I just hope this could at least help us to keep our faith. We don’t know when those guys will comeback as FIVE, but we will believe, I will believe.

Until no one is there to believe, I will :’)

AKTF!

Last, review? ;)

_Verzeihen

Merry Christmas and Happy #9yearswithTVXQ