I met you when we were freshmen and Chanyeol had accidentally tripped me in the hallway. I sat on the floor with a sprained ankle and assignments scattered around me while Chanyeol muttered a sorry before running off leaving me as the center of amusement for everyone else around. You had so kindly helped me gather my papers and accompanied me to the infirmary before giving me a cute eye smile and leaving. After that encounter, somehow we managed to meet everywhere, coincidence or fate I’m not sure, but I knew I was slowing falling for you. Your messy brown hair, cute puppy eyes, goofy smile, not to mention your pretty hands.

The next Valentine’s Day I decided to boldly confess by leaving a bunch of cookies with letters which eventually spelled out “I like you” with my initials on the box. The one month gap between Valentine’s Day and White Day was painstakingly long but it all paid off when I found the chocolates in my locker and a note to meet after school in the gym. I half-skipped half-jogged to the gym and saw Kyungsoo standing by the entrance. He passed me a blindfold and told me to put it on before holding my hand and leading me to what felt like the center of the court.

My blindfold was taken off and I couldn’t help but gasp at what was before me. You were in a white suit holding a balloon of my favourite colour, purple, and you were coming towards me. I stood frozen as you started singing my favourite song. You passed me the balloon and told me to pop it. I shook my head and you asked me why. I mumbled something along the lines of being scared of balloons popping hoping you wouldn’t catch it but you did and let out a hearty laugh. You stood a distance and popped the balloon before coming towards me again, this time with a piece of paper in your hand. You urged me to open the note and written on it was an almost one page long confession and about the things that you knew about me. You told me that you fell in love with my clumsy self the day Chanyeol tripped me and that even though you were mad at him for embarrassing me you were thankful that because of it we met.  I accepted your confession and we walked out of the gym, hand in hand, with a whole new status.

High school years flew by, with our relationship going strong, and even though senior year was a chore, we managed to get by it with each other’s support. While we were walking out of school one day, you were approached by a man donned in a business suit, stating that he was a talent scout from SM Entertainment and that you had potential to be the next Kpop star. I could see the happiness in your eyes, not that you jumping and running around after that didn’t show it enough. I encouraged you to go for it knowing how great your vocal skills were and also how enthusiatic you were about performing on stage. You went for the auditions one week later while I waited outside the building, feeling more nervous than you were but all the anxiety were replaced with relief and happiness when you came out hugging and telling me how you made it in along with Chanyeol and Kyungsoo. We had a mini celebration at home with pizzas and a movie marathon cuddling session.

Training was tough as I could tell from how you would return home only in the wee hours or even the next day and look like you’re about to collapse. I would worry for you everyday and made sure that you got the best that I could give when you were home to make up for the harshness you suffered during trainings. You would always tell me it was alright and that it was worth it. Eleven months into training and you came home exclaiming that you were going to debut with 11 other guys, including Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, and that you were already filming teaser videos that would be released a month from then. I cried happy tears and hugged you tightly while telling you how I knew you were able to make it.

We celebrated our third anniversary at home with a simple dinner before you had to go back to the company to train for your debut showcase. I was a bit bummed but I knew that this was what I have to go through if I wanted to keep a relationship with an idol, or a future one.

I knocked on the door of the waiting room and it opened, revealing a very nervous Kyungsoo. I patted his shoulder before scanning the room for you. You saw me and dashed to me, engulfing me in a tight hug and giving me a peck on the lips. It was what you did every time you were backstage before going on, you said it was like a ritual for luck and you can’t perform well without it.

You did really well for your debut showcase and the popularity of your group was skyrocketing. You started having busier schedules and having to fly off to more countries. You had to live in the dorm but you would try to meet up with me whenever you had free time.

_

However, two years into debut and things were starting to change. The hug and kiss ritual turned into hugs, then side-hugs, then a mere squeeze of my palm, and eventually you won’t even be in the waiting room and would go straight to the backstage. The daily calls because weekly calls, then monthly, eventually becoming mere one-line texts once in a while. I recalled the time when I went for a two-week trip to Spain and you didn’t even realize it until I brought some Spanish snacks up to the dorm a week after I came back.

One day you called and asked if I wanted to go on a date because you were having a day off. I immediately agreed and took a few hours to doll up before meeting you at our usual café. I reached the café to find you with a cup of iced latte on the table at the secluded corner of the café. You were bundled up with a thick scarf, sunglasses and a fedora. You gave me a small smile before drinking your latte, not bothering to ask if I wanted anything. I had to admit I was a little disappointed because whenever we met you would greet me with a hug and kiss and if we met at the café you would always order my favourite peppermint mocha while waiting if you were the early one. I sat down and waited for you to finish your drink before moving out into the streets.

We walked along side by side silently before you slipped your warm hand into mine. I smiled at this and my mood was instantly lifted. My mood however, dropped, as fast as it was lifted when you separated our hands quickly before greeting a female idol, which I recognized as one of the girls from a rookie group. Hello Venus was it? You two started to engage in an animated conversation while I stood by the side. Realization hit me the moment you didn’t bother to introduce me and had instead forgotten my presence. I scooted away quietly before walking far enough and flagged a cab to go home.

I pulled out my luggages as soon as I got home and started packing. As I was packing I couldn’t help but let a few tears drop, thinking about how things had turned out between us and how they happened. After packing all my clothes I took out a big box and placed every single picture, anniversary presents, random couple stuff of us into it. I left your clothes untouched and decided that me moving would be the best since you were the original owner of the apartment.

I took out a piece of paper and started writing.

 “ Dear Baekhyun,

By the time you see this, you would’ve realized that I’m gone and you will probably not see me ever again. I can say it confidently that these few years with you have been the best yet, and I don’t regret every single moment. However, that doesn’t change the fact that things between us have been the same as before. Ever since you became an idol, we had been spending less time together. I never complained and I’m not complaining, because I knew this was what it would be like and I was the one who encouraged you to be an idol in the first place.

I don’t know if you realized, but recently we have been distant and the distance is nothing but widening every single minute. At first I overlooked it because I thought that maybe you were just tired. From practicing, from the schedules, the performances, but over time I realized that you were indeed tired, not from all the idol activities, but from me and this relationship.

Ever since a few months ago, the calls have ceased, I mean I don’t even get a voicemail now. I visit the dorms once in a while and I feel like I’m not welcomed because you would always be walking around, going into your room and coming out only for a while before retreating back in. Today, during our date, or meeting as I think would be a more appropriate term, when you hastily pulled your hand away from mine when you saw a fellow idol has finally got my questions answered.

That one action had verified all my doubts and confusion for the past few months and I finally see it. So, I came back to pack up everything and decided to leave. I bet you were so engrossed in the conversation that you didn’t even notice didn’t you, considering I had ample time to finish packing my stuff and writing this letter. It’s okay though, people change, I know, and even though you were the last person that I expected to change so drastically, I respect and embrace it, which is why I’m willing to let you go now.

By the way, don’t bother looking for me, I won’t be in Korea now by the time you’re back. I never told you but I got accepted into an established American university for a further degree and I was contemplating about it but since I have nothing to hold on to in Korea now I see no reason why I shouldn’t accept their offer. So, goodbye, and hope that hopefully if we ever meet each other again we can still be friends.

                 Ps. Happy 5^th Anniversary Byun Baekhyun, not that this matters anymore.

Love,

________________. “

I folded the letter neatly and placed it inside a purple envelope. I put the box and letter on the bed, took a last look around the apartment, and left. Goodbye Baekhyun ah, live well. 

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A/N: Hey guys, decided to write a oneshot for baekhyun because my exo feels were so overwhelming I had to express it somewhere haha. This is one of those sad stories where the protagonist realises that her relationship is taking a twist, and it's not a good one. 

Hope it was sad and melancholic enough for you guys haha I will say proudly that my favourite genre is fluff but something just spurred me to write this sad oneshot, I've been wanting to write this genre anyway! 

Will probably be back with more oneshots while I procrastinate and not do my holiday homework or update my other fanfic. Till then, toodles! :-)