Yoseob hadn’t spoke much before crawling into your bed and dozing off, you smiled lightly and only left your reading lamp on and pulled out your book like you did every night. *Only a few pages left..* you thought and sighed, *Oh well, I’ll ask Mrs Lee if I can borrow one of hers* and you opened the book, fingertips grazing the fanning pages till you reached your bookmark. Your bookmark was an old photograph of you with your parents on your first day of school, gently you lifted out the picture and placed it on your bedside table, not noticing the boy beside you snuggle closer. The alarm went off the next morning like it always did and you couldn’t help but feel a slight buzz that you hadn’t felt in a long time; it was Christmas in two days. You half crawled, half jumped out of bed trying to dodge the limbs of the still drowsy boy that was doing a fine job of taking up most of the mattress.

The kitchen looked as it always did and before you could stop yourself you were imagining it covered in decorations, turning on the kettle you waited patiently for the water to heat up, within minutes you had both yours and Yoseob’s tea ready and you glanced over to the staircase. *No sign of anyone I should be okay* you thought carefully before letting out your voice. It rang out in harmonious verses, choruses and the occasional long note, it had been a while since you had just sung for the sake of it and you were lost in the moment. Not hearing the soft footsteps coming towards you, “Noona, you’re singing!” those synchronised voices you had grown to love called out and before you had even turned around you could hear it in their voices that they were smiling. “Yeah yeah guys enjoy it while it lasts” *Mehrong*but your minor threat didn’t do much since the twins just grinned and sat down at the table, leaning their chins on their hands. You chuckled and gave in, you started singing again while you made the boys their breakfast and before you were halfway through you heard the quiet humming of your room mate.

Blushing, you immediately stopped singing and swallowed hard, *Get it together Allison, it’s just singing you don’t need to be so embarrassed!* you told yourself but you couldn’t quite keep contained the squeak caused when Yoseob spoke up “Aww, but Allison you didn’t finish the song” you held out his mug of tea and then turned your attention back to your food, keeping silent because you had no wish to embarrass yourself further. You didn’t sing for the rest of the day, despite Yoseob and the twin’s pleas but merely giggled at their combined efforts to change your mind.

The day before Christmas arrived, the promised day of your date with Yoseob and you almost couldn’t contain yourself. Said boy was already downstairs wolfing down breakfast which you had made earlier to ensure you had peace to choose your outfit, you didn’t have many to choose from but you were determined to look a perfect as you could. Yoseob was worth it. Eventually you chose white skinny jeans, convincing yourself the best you could that you would be inside most of the time and you wouldn’t be cold…yeah right. Accompanying those you picked a cute light green t-shirt and a dark blue sweater with snowflake designs on it, satisfied that you would be warm enough you put your other clothes away and got changed before heading downstairs to join the boy that could probably be called the angel of the house.

There he was, sitting patiently at the kitchen bench looking effortlessly handsome as always and you couldn’t help but stop and take in the sight. He looked up from his mug and when his eyes met yours, there was a not too subtle flutter in your stomach and your breath hitched. A smile formed on his perfect lips when he noticed the colour on your cheeks and the shyness in your expression. He got up and walked to where you stood halfway up the stairs, talking your hand in his warm, gloved one. Your eyes were trained on your shoes, so you flinched when you felt a light kiss on your cheek and a warm feeling spread from your face all the way to your toes. When the two of you reached the bottom of the stairs you worked up the courage to look at him, his cheeks now rosier too he mumbled a quick “Sorry uhh.. I wasn’t thinking. I guess I just wanted to..” he laughed “Don’t worry” You smiled, just like you did whenever he was around.

The snow only sank a little when you stepped outside, it hadn’t snowed much in the last few days but of course the chill remained. You didn’t mind though, you had a Yoseob; a cute blonde boy who did an excellent job of being a human sized teddy bear *Only teddy bears don’t kiss…Oh my god. Brain. Stop. Now!* you mentally scolded yourself, desperate for a distraction you scanned the shopfronts. They looked beautiful, snow dusting their signs while lights twinkled in the window displays, you were pulled from your muse by a light tug on your left hand. Yoseob was pulling you towards the shop with the owner that had let you leave your shopping there while you had your fist ‘date’. “Stay here” Yoseob grinned but was hesitant to let go of your hand, nonetheless he went inside and whispered something to the shop owner who disappeared into a back room, returning a minute later with something large that you couldn’t see. Yoseob thanked shop owner and shuffled back outside to meet you, the large object turned out to be a guitar case.

Yoseob chuckled as your sights stayed firmly on the instrument *She’s so cute when she’s concentrating on something* His gaze travelled from your crinkled brow, down your nose and finally settled on your lips but he shook his head and reminded himself that he shouldn’t. A few seconds later his free hand was back in yours and he was gently pulling you down the street, all the shops that had been there for what seemed like forever now all seemed brand new with Yoseob beside you. Everything seemed to go in slow motion but somehow you two were already at a little park. It was just a picturesque setting of tall trees, grass, pathways and wooden benches adorned with a thin white layer of snow. It was quiet, most people were still back in the centre of town just enjoying the Christmas atmosphere.

Yoseob lead you to the bench right in the middle of the park and reluctantly let go of your warm hand so that you could sit. Yoseob’s slender fingers opened the guitar case with a practised gentleness that signalled to you he had done this many times before. Finally finding your voice you smiled and stated “I didn't know you could play any instruments” The boy looked over coyly, “There's still a lot you don't know Allison” and with a smirk he sat, placing the beautiful wooden instrument across one knee. Settling his fingertips in their proper place, he started to play. The strings melody reverberated through the air, as if wafting along on the slightly chilly breeze. It was such expressive sound, and even though Yoseob wasn't singing it was still telling a story. The song started off carefree and light, the tune bubbly and lively like a child. However as it progressed, the music fell into lower pitches depicting sadness and such a deep loss that you felt the song tugging at your heart. Much like a story, after the songs melancholy you were pleasantly surprised to hear it return to a happier tone, as if to express the possibility of a happy ending.

You felt a slight emptiness when the song ended and the music no longer filled the air. The was a silence that hung between you, Yoseob took a deep breath and turned to you. “I wrote this over the last few days...it's been a way of helping me cope I guess.” A thought occurred to you, “That's amazing, you have such expression in your music. It felt like I was listening to your life story in a song.” The blond boys eyes widened, “You knew?” he asked in a tone of thinly disguised shock. You gave him a small smile that had an undertone of sadness, “I had my suspicions. Such a lovely melody that started off so carefree, only to spiral into what sounded like a musical depiction of a tragedy...that would be losing your parents” Both of you quietened at this, not wanting to ruin this moment you quickly asked “What was the ending about?” after all, the song didn't end before lightening in mood at least a little. Yoseob lifted his strumming hand and rested it on your left hand that had grown cold in his absence, “The ending is about coming to the orphanage. With that I found a new purpose and new people to call my family...I found you. My first friend.”

*BOWS DOWN TO YOU ALL ESPECIALLY MY BEAUTIFUL UNNIE ALLISON* OMG IM SO SO SO SORRY!!! Words cannot describe how awful I feel about being gone for so long and that resulting in me leaving this story at such a crucial point.

so much stuff has happened so i'll try to breifly sum it up (be warned this is unfortunately a pretty dramatic list ><)

- changed school 3 times

- came out as panual

- missed roughly half of year 11 due to almost dying (not an exageration I was insanely sick lets skip the gross details)

- depression/anxiety issues

- moved from one end of the country to the other...again -_-

- my dad almost died in my arms (fun time- he's fine now btw)

- lived away from home for a year and then moved back after finishing year 12

- during year 12 i had family issues that made my anxiety worse

- now studying to get my secutity liscense (to be a security guard basically)

- this is my gap year dunno about uni yet 

To those of you people who read this chapter and this ty explanation THANK YOU SO SO MUCH even if you just read the chapter and not said ty explanation thats completely fine I understand. Please also know that the next chapter is on the way/should be up in the next few days cause i'm finishing all my stories. ALSO MOST IMPORTANT: I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH <3 <3 <3 Literally you probably don't realise how much is means to me that i'm finally back, I have missed each and every one of you special, lovely people. Please don't hesitate to comment, tell me how mean i am, what you like /don't like or what you think may happen. Also if for whatever stupid reason if you guys are actually interested in my life I can and will write more in depth stuff on my blog thingy on aff. OKAY IM GONNA STOP RAMBLING NOW I PROMISE XOXO