E I G H T E E N

Jinki’s ears burn with the soft sensation of sweet, ruthful melodies that fill the air as he nears his front door.

After he had fiddled with his keys, swore a couple times and swallowed down his post-eccentric need to get in the house and surprise Jonghyun with being early, Jinki had found his back pressed again the side of the cool wall, enjoying some live, beautiful music. Jinki’s eyes down with feelings of despair and pleasure as he listens quietly.

It had taken him two and a half months of living with Jonghyun to learn he plays the piano.

And it was by accident.

His lips draw to a line as hurt begins to dwell in his gut. Jonghyun knew all too well how eager Jinki was to learn how to play, and even when Kibum had generously handed the antique as a gift he hadn’t even uttered a single word about how he knew to play the instrument. But at the same time pangs of guilt start to sound against Jinki’s heart, working to the beat of the song. He recollects all the moments from the past months where he had never even made an effort to ask Jonghyun if he actually played.

The image of Jonghyun’s fingers flying across the ivory keys calls Jinki to break away from his train of thoughts, and mindlessly curl his hand around the door knob and push it open.

He regrets his actions as soon as his eyes travel to Jonghyun, face pale, frozen at the piano, fingers slowly bringing themselves to a halt.

“I—“

Jinki doesn’t realise which one of the two had started to explain before he realises there is nothing to explain, because they are both equally at fault here.

Jonghyun’s eyes slowly meet Jinki’s and there is a lot in those chocolate centred eyes that Jinki can’t figure out yet, he thinks to himself.

You didn’t tell me.

Jinki prays to no one in particular that he did not just say that out loud, but as his eyes linger he realises  it’s too late because Jonghyun staring at him too, full in the face, bottom lip abused with his teeth as he hastily get up.

“Jinki,” Jonghyun starts. It’s the first time in their two months that he had ever used Jinki’s name and it kind of feels good, only for a little while because then Jonghyun starts to near him and for a second Jinki thinks he’s about to leave. Instead of walking past Jinki, Jonghyun had brought up his fingers right in front of Jinki face, almost causing him to be cross-eyed.

Jonghyun’s eyes search Jinki’s face, and he opens and closes his mouth a few times, expanding Jinki’s curiosity.

“These hands could never teach you how to play.”

--

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

It’s more of statement than it is a question and Jinki hates the way his fists ball involuntarily.

Jonghyun is standing there, a few feet away now, jaw popping and locking in thought. His eyebrows fix just right above his eyes, an expression that Jinki knows happens when he’s not too happy.

“Why don’t you just come here and hit me then?” Jonghyun says in the most sarcastic way possible, and it does not help Jinki’s day at all, not at all. “For god’s sake what are you even saying?!”

They are shouting now and Jinki feels drowsier than ever, what are they arguing about?

“Did you ever even ask me? No I don’t think so. Why today? Why now? Why do you even care now?” Jonghyun’s in his face now, mouth wide and eyes small.

“I dont—“Jinki starts as he staggers away a little. “I don’t know! Why didn’t you ever tell me? You knew how much I loved the piano!” They are almost hysterical and Jonghyun is pacing forwards and backwards, to and from the piano.

“I’m the bad guy aren’t I? You are never ing here but you expect to know everything that goes around! Don’t you just want to hit me? C’mon, hit me, as hard as you can.” He is screaming now, on the middle of the floor, shoulders slumping and arched due to hard sleepless nights and dreadful morning fights with the landlord.

“Do you know how much I walked to get food today? Do you know how hard it was to carry it back, huh? No you don’t, of course you don’t because you are always at ing Tussen with Kibum doing god knows what!”

There is not much poison in Jonghyun's words, but just enough to fuel Jinki's anger.

“How the hell do you think you get the food if I’m not always at ing Tussen?!”

Jinki’s veins stop outlining his neck as he eases back into himself. His balled fists release, his eyes soften. What have they done now?

Jonghyun collapses onto the hard floor, on his knees, still facing Jinki, placing his hands over his eyes. “What —what do you expect me to do, Jinki?” He asks rubbing his face, his voice is horse and soft, Jinki can’t find himself keeping eye contact anymore.

“I’m alone, in this small house— no,  apartment, with a whole day just to myself, what do you think I do?”

Jinki can’t comprehend what to say. Jinki doesn’t know if he should  run, fall to his knees too, and just hug him. Jinki doesn’t know if he should be angry, or tired or sad. Jinki just doesn’t know what to do. "Tell me what to do."

He doesn’t know.

So Jinki finds himself letting out a exasperated sigh as he makes his way to Jonghyun’s side and sits beside him. 

Its dinner time and Jinki’s absolutely dreading the fact.

He catches the sight of Jonghyun placing bread on the table and Jinki nearly trips over.

Their sitting down now, across each other, any of them could raise their eyes to take a full intake of the other. But none of them do.

Jinki silently thanks the heavens for this meal before he reaches for the food; he pulls back right away after realizing Jonghyun’s hands had already taken a hold of that piece.

“I’m sorry.” To their surprise they both say it in unison and now their forced to look at each other. Jinki takes an initiative to smile widely and apologize again.

“No I don’t mean the bread.”

It’s Jonghyun and he’s eyeing the table cloth with peculiar interest. “I’m sorry for earlier and maybe for a lot of other things too.”

Jinki blinks once in order to take in all that’s happening. He doesn’t know if he should be jumping with joy at the fact that Jonghyun is actually trying now, trying to get somewhere or if he should slap him across the face for not realising earlier.

He settles with not doing any of his choices.

“I didn’t tell you because I guess I was scared,” Now Jonghyun is facing him, eyes glassy but sincere. “I don’t know much on how to play; I can’t read anything, which by the way we don’t have anything to read.” He chuckles, scaring Jinki a bit. “I’m really sorry for arguing all the time. I’m just not used to this fact yet, the fact that we are together now, Jinki.”

The floor boards creak harshly as Jinki stares hard at his food. He chokes down most of his emotions, and finally faces Jonghyun. The corners of his mouth tug up as he finds something to say at last. “Is this Main City bread?” It comes out as a whisper, almost inaudible (to Jinki’s dismay)

Jonghyun nods and offers a small smile, he seems to question why. “It was expensive.”

Jinki rumbles soft laughter, “It’s just because I haven’t had it since I was eight.”

Jonghyun’s smile immediately falters and Jinki starts to panic, “I—I still know what it tastes like so it’s not like I haven’t had other food and I—“ Jinki’s explanation dies down as Jonghyun’s light-hearted laughter fills his ears. Even through the laughter Jinki sees how upset he really is, for what exactly, Jinki doesn’t know.

“Please have some,” Jonghyun offers as he passes his own piece of bread.

Maybe it will work from now on, he thinks as the floor boards creak some more, maybe they will work out.

--

They haven’t made love yet.

Honestly, it scares Jonghyun. And it’s not the love making part it’s just everything between that. How do they know when they are ready? Because he sure as hell knows that Jinki’s definitely not the type to just blurt out indecent thoughts or even say, “I’m ready for .”

Crimson shades spread across his face as he shifts to his right side.

When Jonghyun really thinks about it, he would really like their first to be as romantic as possible, but how would he discuss such things with Jinki? It’s honestly is  quite impossible.

Jinki trots through the door, hair mussed thoroughly to the side, eyelashes clogged and a bright smile painted on his lips. Jonghyun gasps a little.

He just got out of the shower.

Usually Jonghyun would hide under the covers or something when Jinki’s done showering, or sometimes even sleeping, but today he found it almost impossible to shut his eyelids. He waits until Jinki’s fully dressed and in bed beside him.

“You know how on our first night,” Jinki starts, Jonghyun is not terribly sure where this is going so he decides to nod. “How your hair,” Jonghyun raises an eyebrow. “It was this sort of pale brown,” Jinki tries to imitate with his hands which is more or less pointless.

Jonghyun nods and smiles a little.

“Yeah?” Jinki asks with large eyes, Jonghyun finds himself staring for too long. “Yeah, I liked it like that, that was—that was,” He tries, “That was b—pretty.”

Jonghyun bites hard at the inside of his cheeks, in attempt not to blush. Jinki suddenly turns to him, eyes still as wide as ever. “Not to say that this is bad or anything! I mean the blonde it’s beautiful! I mean, it’s not beautiful but i—“

Jonghyun finds his lips pressed lightly over Jinki’s and he himself is more surprised than Jinki looks. As he pulls away, he thinks it’s alright to kiss your husband. It is alright to kiss your husband, isn’t it?

Jinki, for the most part, looks baffled, or more overthrown, but he seems to recover as quickly as he was shocked.

They settle down and soon the lights are dim.

The floor boards creak again and Jonghyun is somewhat frightened, although he’d never admit. “You know,” He starts unexpectedly, maybe he's trying to change the topic. He's not sure of what he's saying anymore. “I’m not like you.”

Jinki doesn’t really know how to take that and Jonghyun didn’t mean it to come out that way.  “I mean, I’m not from where you are from. I’m not from Outskirts and i don’t enjoy the things you do or don’t. I’m not experienced and I don’t know what it’s like to lose something,” He pauses. “Well, until I was banished.”

Jinki wanted to ask from where, for what and most of all, gawk at the fact that he was a Main Citizen, a person that possessed mana.  But Jinki decides to wait, to listen. Jonghyun tells him (barely) about the first time he found out he was different. Different than different.  He tells him how his limited knowledge was foreseen as recklessness, his father losing his job and ending up here.

Finally, when Jinki thinks Jonghyun is done, he decides to ask the question he’s been so fervent to ask.

“Are you, are you that—“

“—the one who got stripped of his powers? “

So now he doesn’t even need to answer. In a sense, Jinki is glad and in another he is totally terrified. How could his mother not make him aware of this? Speaking of his mother, Jinki plunges into the sad, dreadfull truth again.

Oh that right, my mother is dead.

Jonghyun sits up and turns one of the lights on. His eyes are as questioning as ever. “What?” Jinki curses his mouth. He rubs at his hair sheepishly.

“Well yeah, two years ago.”

It’s inconvenient, really. Spewing out that your mother is dead gives any conversation a awkward linger, Jinki hates how sweat builds up at his hands. Jonghyun sighs slightly, throwing the bed side light switch off once more and eases back into bed.

“I didn’t—“
“No, no it’s fine. No one really knew so I—I don’t blame you.”

--

Jinki hears the faint sound of Jonghyun’s humming and wonders what it would sound like if he actually sung. At this stage, he’s too scared to ask. It’s the dead of night and they are both supposed to be sleeping.  Jinki’s not fully aware of what song he’s humming but right now it seems pretty good and for the better part, it sounds like its in Korean.

There is a loud crash outside somewhere that jerks both Jinki and Jonghyun from their peaceful resting. Jinki calms down first and urges Jonghyun back to bed. Once they are both back in bed, Jinki finds it hard to relax. There is a question that is wavering in his mind.

“Jonghyun?” Jinki gets a hum in response. “Do you think you can sing?”

[AUTHORS NOTE]

im so sorry so late so late,

But i've finally found my inspiration again so expect more updates ><

Just saying but i love, LOVE, Jonghyun's new hair & more Jongyu interactions guyz.