E I G H T E E N ; J I N K I/ J O N G H Y U N   S E C O N D   B O U N D   N I G H T 

Under his façade, Jonghyun is quite a shy person.

And Kibum notices it right away.

Kibum eyes the boy —who from the corner of his eye— plays with the nonexistent hems of his perfectly ironed suit. Kibum sighs as he sinks into his chair. (Which by the way, is a very uncomfortable chair) He is surrounded by a sea of people in a medium (arguably large) hall type, dimly lit room  with seats to fit at least forty in the middle row,  a buffet on the left and two separately decorated chairs on the right. Turning his face forward he is capable of spotting a middle-aged, Main City honour, clad in a fancy robe with questionable red curtains behind him.

“So this is what it’s like,” Mumbles Kyungsoo, somewhat rigid. Kibum snorts, left eyebrow crinkled against the rest of his face. “Why are you so curious? Usually people like you don’t give two s about unfortunates.”

Kibum knows he should regret his words, and should probably take them back, but Kibum doesn’t (and will not) ever apologize to anything and Kyungsoo knows that he won’t. Kyungsoo brushes his neat raven strands to the side and laughs. “Ah, but Bunnie I’ve told you before, I live for experience.”

“And I’ve told you I’m selectively deaf.”

Kibum doesn’t like how uncomfortable really he is. It’s not like he is not prepared to watch Jinki being handed over to Jonghyun for the rest of eternity, and it’s not that he can’t watch them sit on their separate chairs, looking at each other, and it’s not like Kibum can’t accept that Jinki is bound to a person he’d probably be unhappy with for the rest of his life but it’s just …a bit overwhelming. Kibum would never say that he harbours feelings for people easily, like the pull in his gut he gets when Jinki smiles or when Jinki sings or when Jinki is there, basically. He would never call it love, or a crush because that simply doesn’t happen, that shouldn’t happen.

The soft murmur in the back of Kibum’s mind happened to be the man in the front talking, and finally Kibum managed to tune into frequency (thanks to Kyungsoo’s slight nudge.)

“And please welcome the two bounds of the night.”

A feeble looking Jinki and a fierce looking Jonghyun step out from behind the curtains. Although Jonghyun’s electric hair, chiselled face and strong eyebrows keep him from looking weak, Kibum could see the thin frame shiver under the gaze of so many. It suddenly dawns on him how wrong this is. They are still children, this is nothing better of an arranged marriage, and to make it worse, your name has to be listed as a slot to match someone else or the possibilities of spending a life with someone vanishes.

Where did the time go when you had the freedom to choose who you love?

Kibum looks away with a knot in his stomach when the couple lean in for a sweet kiss, satisfying the rest of the crowd completely. Kibum frowns when he feels Kyungsoo’s hand on his, emitting unwanted warmth. “This is their day Bunnie,” he whispers. “…be strong,”

Kibum turns to look at Kyungsoo with slightly watery eyes.

 “Just for now Bunnie, just for now.”

Kibum wipes the corners of his eyes and turns his attention back to the front. Jinki and Jonghyun’s hands are being tied with red string, like the first time. Jinki’s eyes search the crowd and he offers a small smile when he spots his two friends.

God, he’s so beautiful tonight.

Kyungsoo gives a thumbs up while Kibum shoots a quick wave.

Putting everything aside (feelings and all), Kibum was still here to ensure Jinki would have the best of everything.  He didn’t come here to dwell in his own failure; this is Jinki’s day, not his. No matter how much Kibum disapproves of Jonghyun, he will just have to bear it for Jinki.

For Jinki.

“I know Kyungsoo.”

Like apologising, Kibum doesn’t thankyou either.

 Nor does he except them back.

“Kibum, Kibum, Thankyou! Oh my god, this is too much!”

Jinki gasps as he staggers toward the piano in awe, its patterns and keys captivating him whole. Kyungsoo laughs while Kibum looks away, a bit flustered. “Don’t thank me, idiot.”

Kyungsoo follows a slightly intoxicated Jinki to indulge with the rest of the presents while Kibum is left with an awkward Jonghyun.

Kibum looks at him firmly. He can really feel the height difference, and although that’s only a minor problem and shouldn’t be noticed at all, Kibum adds it as one of the many reasons as to why he hates Kim Jonghyun.

Kibum clicks his tongue. “You don’t drink?”

Jonghyun looks startled for a second and then returns to his wall stiff of a face. “No.”

Kibum nods, indicating he understood. The conversation was so dry at this point; Kibum disregarded anything else he wanted to say. “May I ask, where did you get the piano from?”

It’s Jonghyun and his voice sounds steady but un-relaxed. Kibum stuffs his hands into his pockets, rocking on the balls of his feet. “It belonged to someone close to me, but she passed away.” Kibum signals with a finger for Jonghyun not to apologise. “Jinki always talked about wanting to learn how to play, so I thought why not.”

Kibum is dry of a response and in that minute something stirs in him. He downcasts his eyes to meet Jonghyun’s.

“Take care of him.”

His voice is shaking and his fingers itch.

 Jonghyun doesn’t answer.

It’s the end of the day, the celebration is over, Jonghyun and Jinki have been assigned to their house. Kibum feels his stomach drop as he sits on the front stage by himself, legs dancing of the edge of it.

“It’s late.”

Kyungsoo sits down beside him with a small grunt. Kibum keeps his eyes on the floor. “Kyungsoo am I stupid?”

Kyungsoo laughs. “Sometimes.”

Kibum glares at him, hitting his side lightly. “Yah, you know what I want to hear.” Kyungsoo laughs again, poking the side of Kibum’s face. “Okay, I’ll tell you what you want to hear. Kibum, you are the most brilliant, most perfect, young looking person in the world and it’s totally alright to love a person who is already in love.”

Kibum smiles sadly, “How come it doesn’t feel like it, soo?”

Kyungsoo stretches his arms to reach over Kibum’s shoulder. “That’s because Bunnie, it’s not true.” Kibum looks up to level his face with Kyungsoo’s, eyes red. “But you know what is?”

“W-what?”

“That you are the most generous person I know.” Kyungsoo smiles, eyes disappearing into crescents. “And I always see that no matter how hard you try not to show it.”

Kibum cries a lot that night.

[AUTHOR'S NOTE ]

well.