Leeteuk’s eyes fluttered open. “Aeyoung…” he whispered as he squinted his eyes to adjust to the sunlight screening into his room through the windows. His eyes wandered here and there, stripping his entire room at a rapid pace, as he frantically struggled to place a memory with the name. No. He couldn’t remember when or where he had heard it. He wasn’t even sure if he had ever heard the name at all. He sat up and ran his hand through his sweat soaked hair. Nothing! He could remember nothing! He stood up and walked in front of the mirror and looked into the eyes of his reflection. He was surprised at what he saw. It was as if he were looking into someone else’s eyes. He did not recognize those eyes. They were definitely not his. They portrayed some alien feelings, feelings he couldn’t recognize.

 

Agitated, Leeteuk left his room and made his way to the bathroom through the living--kitchen--dining room. Hankyung was bent over the stove, probably cooking breakfast. Siwon, Eunhyuk, Heechul and Donghae were at the dining table. Siwon, with a coffee mug in hand and his eyes glued to the morning paper. Eunhyuk and Donghae were bickering over the last bit of toast. Heechul was glaring at them and grinding his teeth, probably planning on the first opportunity to murder them. Heechul picked up a fork and attempted to stab Eunhyuk’s hand, but it landed between his fingers. Eunhyuk’s eyes widened to the size of ping-pong balls and he heaved a sigh of relief. “Woah! Nice aim hyung!” He let out, to which Heechul answered, “Yah! Anchovy! I missed!” setting Donghae into hysterical laughter! Kangin, Shindong and Kibum had schedules to attend so they had possibly left. The others were perhaps still in bed. Seemed like any other ordinary morning, for the rest of them of course. Nothing seemed ‘ordinary’ for Leeteuk nowadays.

 

He locked the bathroom door and stressfully looked into the mirror. He looked ok, which was exactly the opposite of how he felt. He sighed and washed his face. For a second he considered drowning himself in the wash basin, but then he thought of the consequences. “SUPER JUNIOR MEMBER LEETEUK DROWNED IN THE WASH BASIN”, printed on the first page of every local newspaper. He sighed. He couldn’t even die without permission!

He turned to leave but then spotted a basket spilling with dirty clothes. “No wonder it smells awful in here!” Leeteuk complained. He didn’t have any schedules for the day so he thought of completing some household chores. He carried the basket out to where the washing machine was. “YOU GUYS DON’T EVEN HAVE TIME TO CLEAN YOUR CLOTHES???” He shouted on top of his lungs, but no one replied. “Damn these kids!! Not taking responsibility for anything.” He grumbled while emptying the clothes into the washing machine one at a time. “Leaving me with all the work. I’m a human too. There’s a limit to which I can work! I’m not a ing machine!” In went Kangin’s boxer’s, Eunhyuk’s smelly socks, Sungmin’s one piece, Yesung’s turtle… “WTF??? WHY’S YESUNG’S TURTLE IN HERE????” He placed the turtle on the floor which inched its way to another room. “Not even paying attention to their pets.” Leeteuk continued with his grumbling. “If you gotta keep pets then treat them well, I say, but NO~ that’s “my” ing job!! Hmph! I swear I’ll kick out all the pets one…” He paused when he noticed something odd. “…day.” He picked up a towel and held it out in front of him. It was stained with blood. Lots of it.

 

‘Is it one of ours?’ he thought. Their manager hadn’t come to visit them for days so he was sure this couldn’t be his. He was worried that someone among them was hurt. What puzzled him was that if that someone is hurt, why was he hiding it? Being hurt is nothing to hide. And how could they actually hide it? Without others knowing? His brows furrowed.

 

~~~~~

 

Kyuhyun had been up early but he didn’t feel like leaving bed. There was a certain charm in lying in bed, wrapped up in the blanket, and watching the sun rise, while listening to Eunhyuk and Donghae fighting over the last piece of toast. He had been back to the dorm for a while but he didn’t remember the last time he felt so at peace. He cuddled further into the blanket and sighed. Life was going good, and he liked it. He liked how it felt when he breathed in and out. He wondered how life would have been different for the others if he weren’t here. If he weren’t alive…

 

He yawned and stretched his hands over his head. He was taking longer than he assumed to adjust to the fact that he was still alive, walking, breathing, eating and doing everything a normal nineteen year old would be doing. Well, if you ignore the fact that he was an international idol.

 

He smiled when he heard Donghae’s roar of laughter and the evident absence of Eunhyuk’s voice made him wonder if Heechul had killed him. He laughed some more at his ridiculous thought. Of course Heechul didn’t kill him. If he ‘had’, he would’ve heard gunshots or chainsaws!
 

He smiled again when he heard Leeteuk shouting “YOU GUYS DON’T EVEN HAVE TIME TO CLEAN YOUR CLOTHES???” Everybody took Leeteuk for granted. They knew that being the “mother” he was, he’d scold them the first five minutes, grumble for the next fifteen and then eventually forgive and forget. But Kyuhyun was sure that a day would come when Leeteuk would explode and spank all of them one by one. He giggled as he pictured Donghae or Eunhyuk over Leeteuk’s knees and Leeteuk spanking their backside with a wooden spoon.

 

Kyuhyun gleefully sighed.

 

~~~~~

 

Kyuhyun scratched his head, his hair in a mess, as he made his way to the living--kitchen--dining room. He wiped the drool off the corner of his lips and sat down at the table. Eunhyuk gaped at him with open jaws. Kyuhyun smiled foolishly. ‘Oh, he IS alive.’ Heechul looked at him with a lopsided expression when he let out giggled. “Aren’t you gonna…wash up first?” Eunhyuk made a face as if he could smell Kyuhyun stench from across the table. When Kyuhyun looked up he saw four very curious eyes on him. “Breakfast. Hungry.” He said with a drowsy smile.

 

He saw, no smelled, Hankyung making his trademark Beijing fried rice and smacked his lips. Then he craned his head to a side to see what Leeteuk was up to. He saw Leeteuk gazing at something as if he were holding a baby alien. A towel. The towel he had dumped in the bathroom the night he was cleaning his wounds. Kyuhyun’s smile froze in sudden realization.

 

Kyuhyun instinctively straightened up, eyes the size of tennis balls, his drowsiness faded away in less than a second. OHNOTHISISNOTGOOD!!!! His insides went into a mini panic attack. “!” He cursed under his breath. He slowly turned to see four eyes on him. “He. He.” Kyuhyun laughed awkwardly, not looking into their eyes. He squinted his eyes painfully. Leeteuk would want explanations; and he didn’t have one. He was biting his fist, planning on what to say, when he felt four eyes digging into his head. ‘Please don’t think I’m crazy.’ he thought. He took a quick look at Siwon, Heechul, Donghae and Eunhyuk. ‘OK~ they think I’m crazy!’ Kyuhyun shifted in his seat and tapped the table front with his fingernails. “Lovely morning!” he smiled, but they just wouldn’t buy it. He had to try something else to pry their eyes off of him. “Hyung that fried rice smells sooo good. God! I’m so hungry!” he faked a smile, but that obviously it didn’t work either. “Oh yeah? I’m done. Here.” Hankyung loaded the table with four filled plates of Beijing fried rice and as soon as he was done Kyuhyun sprang into it. But they still had their eyes on him.
 

“Would anyone mind telling me who this belongs to?” Leeteuk approached the table with the blood stained towel in his hand. All heads, leaving Hankyung, turned towards Kyuhyun in a rapid movement. Kyuhyun dropped his spoon; his mouth crammed with fried rice, and nervously looked up at Leeteuk. “If…nof…me…” he said, slowly shaking his head from side to side. Leeteuk’s eyes narrowed on to Kyuhyun’s, his eyes b with questions he’d like to ask. In private. “Oh that?” Hankyung interrupted after taking a closer look. “That’s probably mine. I chopped my finger with the kitchen knife yesterday.” he said, examining his finger. “See? It’s all choppy and bloody.” He waved his cut finger at Leeteuk’s face. “Put it away!” Leeteuk slapped his hand away from his face. “You should be more careful with things like that. You’re not a child!” he scolded, still not being able to push away the thought of Kyuhyun probably being hurt, without anyone’s notice. “Hey, I’m hurt!” Hankyung whined, making a cute pout. “You deserve it, you big baby!” Leeteuk ticked.

 

“People call ‘me’ weird!” Heechul snorted.

 

~~~~~

 

Kyuhyun closed the door to his room and jumped onto his bed. He knew he wasn’t out of danger yet. He knew Leeteuk would surely find out that something’s wrong some time sooner or later. And he had to be prepared by then. But what would he tell him? He punched the pillows in frustration. Could he lie to Leeteuk saying that his old wounds had opened up and risk going to the damned hospital again? Or should he keep his secret to himself and risk losing Leeteuk’s trust?
 

He clutched his hair and yanked on them. He wanted to tell Leeteuk about everything that has been happening but he wasn’t sure if Leeteuk, although the closest person to him right now, would understand what he’s going through. He wasn’t sure if he understood himself! He wanted to tell him REAL BAD!! But he couldn’t. Not unless he himself had a clear understanding of what the heck was going on. Whatever he was seeing, feeling, he couldn’t tell if those were premonitions or just a part of his fantasy. And this definitely does not happen to normal human beings. Something was wrong with him that he needed to find out. And the way he was headed… he had to make sure he was going in the right direction. He would disclose this to Leeteuk only after he figures it out himself. Then he could give a clear explanation. Only then would he know what to say.

But what if Leeteuk grew suspicious over time? Kyuhyun sighed and turned around. He let out forced puffs of air. He wasn’t going to stress over this. He had lots going on anyways. If Leeteuk found out…he’d just have to deal with it. He wanted to tell him anyways, of course in his own pace, but he ‘did’ want to tell him. So if Leeteuk somehow came to know about it then it couldn’t be that bad, right? Kyuhyun sighed. He’d just have to wait and watch how it unfolds.

He closed his eyes and drowned in his surroundings. He lay, as if dead, letting his feelings run wild within. A few minutes passed by and now he was floating in a sea of calm. He then pictured those frail hands, those gloomy lips, those depressed eyes, the one who completed his madcap world. He smiled.

 

There she was. That innocent beauty he had been observing since a few days. She was walking down the road holding a black umbrella above her head, hiding her face from his view. Kyuhyun stayed out of view, standing behind a small coffee stall, silently watching her. It was pouring and everyone else seemed in a hurry to get under cover, but not her. It was as if she was trailed off in thoughts, not in a hurry to reach her destination. Within minutes the road was clear of all its travelers. Only two remained; him and her.

 

Kyuhyun followed her, knowing there were no risks. She couldn’t see him. Watching her small frame from behind, Kyuhyun smiled. He wished a time would come when they’d walk side by side...perhaps holding hands. He walked two steps behind her, enjoying the rain and the purity in the atmosphere. On their way they crossed a park where a few boys were playing soccer in the rain, a tiny noodle stall with Chinese lanterns dancing wildly in the wind, a deserted bus stop.

 

They crossed a small alley with a hoodlum sitting with his back to the wall. Kyuhyun frowned when he saw the thug eyeing the girl from top to toe. He felt a low growl emanating from his chest, and an unknown feeling masking his body. He was now standing right in front of him, towering before his crouched figure. But the thug just looked past him, more like ‘through’ him.

 

Kyuhyun then realized that he couldn’t see him. Even though it was something he had presumed since the start, from the day he saw the stout man but couldn’t hear him, the thought of it still baffled him. What is this ability he has acquired? What are its extents? What are its potentials and limitations? Kyuhyun had never paid the required attention to these details. He was too busy watching the girl. What is he capable of doing and what are out of his reach? Then it struck him, the thought sending chills down his spine. He can’t touch her. The sudden realization that he wouldn’t be able to help if the thug assaulted her, frightened him. He looked at her just to see that she wasn’t even paying attention. She had her head hung down, lost in thoughts, walking aimlessly into the street. “Walk faster!” Kyuhyun cried out after her receding figure, and saddening at the thought that she probably wouldn’t hear him either. He turned around to check on the thug. To his utter relief the thug made no efforts of getting up from his seat. He just went back to resting his head on the wall and letting the rain drench him.

 

An overwhelming sense of relief swept over Kyuhyun. He quickly made his way towards the girl. Sadness engulfed his frame once he realized his worth was nothing. She could not see him, could not hear him; not even feel his presence. To her Kyuhyun did not exist. He was no one. Kyuhyun hung his head in despair. Why was he even here? He could never help her when she needed it. He could never make her smile. He couldn’t even wipe her tears as she cried. He could only watch, and hope and pray that every single day in her would bring her happiness. Only wish that she’d be safe.

 

Kyuhyun’s thoughts were interrupted when she paused before a small house. Though they had passed several houses on their way, this one seemed different, though oddly familiar. It was a dull peach in colour and had a Victorian aura to it. It looked like it had been painted recently but still felt as if it were void of any inhabitants. There was a small garden up front, but there were no signs of any vegetation, at least with no ‘groomed’ vegetation. Wild grass grew here and there making a murky bundle of mess in front of the house. Kyuhyun scoffed. Its residents must either be very idle or so busy that they didn’t have thirty minutes of spare time on their hands to give their lawn a decent trim. Kyuhyun watched in a puzzle as the girl closed her umbrella and stepped up the patio. ‘She lives here? ‘Here?’’ he thought.  She inserted her keys into the key hole and turned the knob.

 

~~~~~

 

Music rang loud inside the club as masses of people danced to it. A man, in his mid-fifties, with his shirt untidily out of his pants and his tie hanging lose from his short stout neck sat before the bar looking unsteady. He tapped his margarita glass on the shiny wooden bar front. “One more shot here please.” He said, closing his eyes. He hiccupped and looked around the club’s hoarded dance floor and snickered mockingly, as if disgusted by the younger generation. He mumbled something disapprovingly and brought his glass to his lips before realizing that it was still empty. “WHERE’S MY TEQUILA?” he roared and smashed the glass on the floor.

 

A man in his late twenties watched from afar and sighed. “He’s at it again. Always an embarrassment!” he whispered to himself.

 

“Sir please calm down.” The bartender tried to get the man to sit down again but he wouldn’t budge. Within moments, half a dozen men, dressed in all black, surrounded him from all sides. “I ‘just’ asked for a refill!” The drunken man tried to push through the wall of sturdy men and aimed a fist at the bartender, which immediately backfired at him as the bodyguards blocked his attack and hit him on the face. The man lost his balance and stumbled back and fell on his behind. “IS THIS HOW YOU TREAT YOUR CUSTOMERS?” the man shouted while picking himself up, his face twisted up in annoyance.

 

The man in his twenties stood up from his seat in fury and headed over to the drunkard. “Why does it always have to end this way?” he roared under his breath as he pushed through hoards of people enjoying “the show”.

 

 “Sir please stand back or we might have to take actions against you.” warned one of the men in the suit. “Oh yeah? Or what?? You’re gonna hit me again? Do it!” the drunkard threatened the man in the suit and gave him a hefty push. The man dressed in the suit didn’t even budge from his spot and looked at the drunkard in calm determination. But after a few more feeble efforts from the drunk the guard raised his fist. The man in his twenties stopped the guard. “I’ll take it from here, gentlemen.” he said with a smile as he gently pushed the guard away. He turned towards the drunk and hissed through gritted teeth, “What. Are. You. Doing?” “Don’t get in between lad. This isn’t your business.” Saying this, the drunk pushed him away. “You think you can fight me? You think you’re all tough?” The drunkard spat on the guard’s face. “Now who’s tough, huh?” It wasn’t long till the drunk and the younger man were both kicked out of the club.

 

“Are you happy now, huh?” the younger guy yanked the older man’s arm and turned him around. “Third time. That was the third time this week! You like getting yourself and your son embarrassed before a crowd?” he said furiously. “All you care about is your image! You don’t care about your old father no more! All you care about is how people look at you!” the drunk argued. “I was with my colleagues in there!!!” the younger guy shouted pointing towards the club, “of course I care about my image before them! And you totally ruined it!” “You were with no ing colleagues of yours! You were with those s you bring home with you every night! I saw you!” the father retorted, bringing his face closer. The son just breathed in and out with rage, unable to say something in his defense.

 

“Fine! I’ll just back away! Good luck to you and your…whatever!” saying this the son left towards the parking lot. “You’re going to leave your old man out on the streets?” his father shouted behind him. “I’m sure my old man can find his way home!” the son retorted. And in a matter of minutes the man drove off, leaving behind his father on the roads.

 

“Stupid genes he’s got!” The father spat. He mumbled a few more profanities before taking the road, searching for some alternative way home.

 

~~~~~

 

The girl entered the house and closed the door behind her, as slowly and noiselessly as she could. She left her rain drenched coat on the coat hanger and the umbrella beside the door. She heard the TV blaring inside the living room. Her room was upstairs and the stairs were right next to the living room. There could only be one person inside the house at that time of the day. She didn’t want to run into him so she took the longer path towards the stairs, through the kitchen. But crossing the living room door was unavoidable.

“Aeyoung? Are you back?” the man cried out. She stopped on the first flight of stairs and huffed. “Yes father.” she called back. “Come talk to your old man for a moment.” his voice sounded raspy and grieved. She wished she could say no but she knew the consequences. “Yes father.” she said as she stepped into the room. He patted the empty spot next to him, gesturing her to take a seat. She was hesitant but she had to conform. She cautiously took a seat on the couch, alertness at its peak. “How are you back so early?” he spoke. He was drunk. His stench filled the room. It nauseated her, her guts grinding inside of her, but she kept calm. “It’s raining. Boss gave me a day off.” she said calmly. “That’s very sweet of her.” he said, resting his hand on her thigh. She jerked, but controlled her features. “She takes care of you like a little sister.” “Yes, she does.” her breath fastening. “You know Aeyoung…” he moved closer, looking straight at her, tasting her fear. He lived off it. “your mother loved getting drenched in the rain.” She was like a prey in the path of a hungry predator. All she could do was play dead. “Yeah you’ve told me.” She maintained her posture. Letting him enjoy her anxiety was the last thing she would do right now.

 

As if heavens were defending her being, a great bolt of light struck the earth, roaring with all its might. It startled the old man and for a tiny fraction of an instant he had his hands off of her. She took the chance to stand up from her seat and made her way back to the stairs leading to her bedroom. “I have chores to do.” she mumbled slightly before leaving. The man grimaced, as if disappointed and turned his attention back towards the TV, flipping through the channels aimlessly.

Kyuhyun watched the whole episode from the foot of the stairs, a feeling of detestation and rage stirring inside him.

 

~~~~~

 

Leeteuk chewed his breakfast in slow motion, his mind revolving around two things; the blood stained towel and his most recent dream. Sungmin, the only one in the kitchen, besides Leeteuk, noticed something bothering him, but he didn’t feel like bringing it up. Leeteuk wasn’t half convinced about the fact that the wipe belonged to Hankyung. He was instead wondering if it had something to do with Kyuhyun. No. Kyuhyun wouldn’t hide it. There was no way he could hide that much blood. He was hoping, no praying, that it were Hankyung’s. But if not…

Leeteuk shook his head. No. It couldn’t be.

 

“What’s on your mind, hyung?” Sungmin asked, pouring cereal into his bowl. He didn’t know about the incident. Leeteuk thought it were best if he didn’t. “Oh no, it’s nothing really. Just having a recurring nightmare.” he spurted accidentally. Sungmin looked up at him, eyes as round as the cheerios he was eating. “Hyung you’re all worn-out, aren’t you? A few more days like this and you’ll collapse in broad daylight!” Sungmin expressed his concern. Leeteuk smiled. “I’m alright. It’s just a nightmare.”

Leeteuk poked around his dish, his mind now drifting to his dream. ‘Aeyoung?’ Leeteuk pondered. The name sound so…familiar. Like, maybe an old friend? ‘Aeyoung?’ he tapped his skull. No, he was betting a hundred bucks he knew no Aeyoung from his childhood. ‘Aeyoung…’ the name was there, hovering somewhere in the back of his head. If he could just calm down and stabilize his thoughts…
 

“Aeyoung…” he murmured, poking his plate. Sungmin’s head perked up at the name. “What?” he asked hesitantly. Leeteuk’s attention turned towards him. “What ‘what’?” he asked evenly. Sungmin gazed at Leeteuk for a moment before hurriedly adding a “nothing” and getting back to eating. Leeteuk straightened up. He solemnly placed his spoon on the table. “Sungmin?” Leeteuk asked, sensing something unusual when he saw Sungmin fidgeting. He knew something was not right when Sungmin nervously replied with a “Uh…hmm?” not meeting eyes with him. He watched as Sungmin’s pace quickened and he rapidly gulped down his food, probably in an attempt to elope from the kitchen. The fact that he was alone in the kitchen with just Leeteuk, the last person on earth he wished to be with right that moment, didn’t help with his nerves.

 

Leeteuk knew. His impulses were screaming at him, telling him that Sungmin had the answer to his question.  He didn’t waste time beating around the bush. “Who is Aeyoung?” he asked in a cool but assertive composure. Sungmin dropped the spoon, drops of milk spilling from the corner of his mouth, and looked at Leeteuk as if he’d seen a ghost. The rapid change in his facial features was a full on approval of the fact that Leeteuk had guessed right. And he had guessed right to the point. “I’m full!” He announced to the invisible occupants of the kitchen and hurried to the sink, dropped the bowl and turned to leave, but his efforts were wasted. Leeteuk grabbed his collar and pushed him to the wall. If they both had not been as close as they were, Leeteuk might just have wrung his neck.

 

Leeteuk tightened his grip around Sungmin’s collar and Sungmin’s face paled. “Who. Is. Aeyoung?” He emphasized every word to make them clear. He had had a bad last few days. He was tired, he was sick. He didn’t want to hurt Sungmin. He just wanted answers.

 

Sungmin gulped. “I’m sorry we hid this from you, hyung!”