8. Epilogue – to forgive, to forget

It was a sunny day, but he couldn't go out in that moment; he was waiting patiently for Taemin, as he needed his answers. He had waited for too long. Questions were flooding his mind, but Kyungsoo knew that some of them were going to be unanswered. Things got hard after Jongin had left: at first, he was so terribly depressed that it was hard to get out of the bed. Then, anger arrived; Kyungsoo started blaming Jongin for everything that happened, believing that the younger man had run away from him. In the end, there were sorrow and resignation, and Kyungsoo finally understood that he couldn't have done anything from the very start. Jongin had kept quiet just because he didn't want him to worry over something that was greater than them.

Taemin arrived after two long minutes; Kyungsoo's hands were shaking when he opened the door, and he almost spilled the tea on himself when he took his own cup before sitting. There was an irritating silence between them for the first minutes, but Kyungsoo didn't hold for long and he finally burst with his questions. "What happened to them? Why people can't dream? Why there are monsters out here?" Taemin almost laughed at him, but he stopped himself when he met Kyungsoo's stern gaze. The younger man sighed and looked away. "I'll explain everything from the start." He mumbled, uncertain.

"There was a time when everyone lived out there, what we wrongly call 'dark side'. Harmony embraced that world, but not every human liked the system that governed the place. Edge has a simple way of thinking: the people must protect every form of nature and lives, and gods and goddesses control everything. It is very easy to recognize them, because if they die, they would reborn with the same appearances." Kyungsoo nodded, feeling that something incredibly bad happened back then. "Many humans felt the need to destroy and they wanted power, and a war started; but the problem was quickly resolved. The group divided, and so Eden was born. Years of hard work created this city, but only few can control our city. I am one of them."

Taemin drank some of his tea, as guilt covered his face. "The need of power is slowly turning us into monsters. We are creating machines; we aren't giving orders to people anymore. However, there are some that are able to live in Edge, and that is why they are able to dream. We aren't blocking your dreams, your body is." Kyungsoo gaped at him, as the information had bewildered him rather strongly. Taemin sighed heavily with glossy eyes. "I am still dreaming. I want to go away, but I do not want to leave Minho. I had fallen in love with him long time ago, and I was the one who had secretly arranged our marriage. We were in love, but we actually had to marry someone else, and so I had changed everything in order to stay with him."

Only after a minute Kyungsoo found his voice again and succeed to talk. "Since you work for the Government, does that means that it's your fault is innocent people die out of here?" Taemin shook his head. "I'm not the one who controls that, but I won't do anything to stop that. I don't want to be thrown out of Eden." Kyungsoo frowned, extremely disappointed with the other man. "You're doing everything for yourself and you don't care if people are dying because of you… You're right, you're a real monster." He almost yelled at Taemin, who flinched and looked at the ground in shame. "Kyungsoo, I truly think that you, one day, are going to Edge and live peacefully. Have you forgiven Jongin for leaving you for someone else?"

The older man stood up, and looked out of the window. Have he forgiven Jongin? No, he was never angry to begin with. He had just wanted to be angry with his ex-lover, but he couldn't, because he wanted him to be happy. He hated himself because he had not been able to be what Jongin had wanted. "I still love him." He answered with a whisper. His voice got lost in the white dull room, and Taemin stared at the young man. Kyungsoo had red eyes, in that moment, and he was struggling in order to not start crying. He missed Jongin really bad, he missed his kisses and his weak smiles.

"I think he had loved me, too. Just not enough to fight his dreams, just not enough and not for long. But I know he had loved me." He murmured, his gaze never leaving the sky. It was a peaceful day, and he was slowly feeling serenity in heart as well. Saying those words to someone helped him to leave behind him pain, sadness and loneliness. "I felt it in his kisses and his hugs. However, I know he is happy right now. I need to let go of him and move on." Taemin hummed and stood as well, hesitantly putting a hand on his shoulder. "I don't want to see you ever again." Kyungsoo said with a clear and hard tone. "You have destroyed my life, together with other people's ones. Go away."

Taemin's hand slipped away from his shoulder, and the man silently walked out of the apartment. Kyungsoo didn't move away and kept looking outside the window. He could almost imagine Jongin's beaming smile as a black-haired man hugged him and sweetly kissed his cheek, making him close his eyes with shyness. Was Jongin happy to see different colors? Was he glad to be in the middle of the nature? Kyungsoo couldn't help but wonder if he was in his thoughts, if Jongin, sometimes, thought of him and the memories they had created together. He shook his head and he smiled. Jongin had a new life with someone he truly loved, and he accepted that.

Life without Jongin was empty and Kyungsoo hardly found the strength to keep going on as if nothing happened; Taemin had told him that he was probably going away from Eden, and he wanted to embrace his face. He wasn't scared, but he didn't like to be alone. He turned around, grabbed the keys and hurried to get outside; he needed to see people, to see life. Staying at home only hurt him, since Jongin's belongings were still there, untouched. Since when he had left, Kyungsoo found tranquility in watching people; he liked seeing their reactions, their expressions and their clothes. No one minded Kyungsoo, and he was glad to be alone while he looked at everyone. He always went to the main square, and he always sat on the border of the fountain in the centre of the place.

That sunny day, though, was different from any other. Kyungsoo expected somebody to sit next to him, but he was actually surprised when that person started talking to him. "I keep seeing you sitting here, all alone. What are you trying to forget?" Kyungsoo immediately turned towards the voice, feeling agitated. He didn't want people to know what he was feeling in that moment. Next to him, there was sitting a young looking man who had a soft, nervous smile on his lips. "It's okay, I feel the same. I want to forget, but it seems like we are forever bound to remember." Kyungsoo stared at him, both confused and curious. The man was like any other – black hair, dark eyes, white clothes. However, he was slightly different: he had a tired look, worn out by who-knows-what, like he had passed through many troubles.

"Is it a good or a bad thing?" Kyungsoo found himself asking with quiet voice. The man shrugged, but he smiled widely. "You can choose. I think it's a good thing. You can change; you can be whoever you want. You are strong, you can learn from your experiences." Kyungsoo nodded, agreeing with those words. He wanted to be someone better than he was in that moment. He wanted to go to Edge and meet Jongin, and he wanted to look at him as if they were friends and not lovers. He wanted to be strong, because he knew Jongin had decided to be the same.

"What's your name?" He asked as he smiled. The man blushed lightly. "I'm Joonmyeon." He answered with a beaming grin. "Kyungsoo." He said back. His heart felt warm once again, and for that sunny day, he forgot about Jongin and his embarrassed smiles. He felt like he could move on; he and Joonmyeon could help each other, Kyungsoo could be the man's anchor and vice versa. It was just a hopeless thought, but as he kept talking to him, he felt like his small wish could get real. He returned home feeling light headed; it wasn't the feeling he had gotten when Jongin kissed him, but it was the same when he had started to feel in love.

Joonmyeon seemed kind, and somehow a bit like him – lost, lonely –, but he had a strong will and he liked it. It was still too early to say anything for sure, but he liked not being alone anymore. He felt like he didn't need to worry anymore, now that there was somebody who understood his feelings. Deep inside himself, he had always thought that Jongin didn't need him anymore, but he simply had not wanted to admit that. He still loved Jongin, but he knew that he could forget and fall in love with someone else. He sighed heavily and fell on his bed.

He closed his eyes and slowly fell asleep.

Two months had passed since Jongin wasn't there with him anymore.

That night, Kyungsoo dreamt.

A/N:
I've finished this fic... this is my favourite one so far.
Please, if you liked it, recommend it to anyone (fic recs here on AFF, on tumblr...)! ^^;

I hope you enjoyed reading it, I might write a sequel, but I don't like a lot this idea... 
The sequel, anyway, will be centred on D.O, not Kai.

Please, write me here or on my tumblr! >w<
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Until my next fic! ^O^