1. A rotten perfect world

"I love you."

A soft, reassuring voice whispered in his ear. A hand grabbed his, as a warm feeling spread from his aching heart.

"I love you."

He smiled when he felt a pair of lips on his skin. The touch burnt, but he only felt pleasure; it wasn't real, it was too good. He wanted to drown and never see the light again. He wanted to live forever like this, with those light touches and kisses, with those mumbled words. He wanted to feel alive like now.

"I love you."

He heard himself answering; and it was true. He loved whoever was caressing his body with a tender touch. It was utterly stupid loving someone – at least that was what he used to think. Now he understood why little girls wanted their prince charming and sighed when they thought of their imaginary lovely life with him. Yes, he understood. He had never felt so important in his life, and he could feel like that just by mere words and kisses. He didn't want to let go.

"You have to wake up." The voice told him. No – no! He couldn't, not yet! He had to see the beautiful eyes of that person… He had to see his own new world! But he never did. He couldn't, he tried with his all might, but he couldn't.

A last kiss, on his mouth – and Jongin woke up.

He thought it was the real world, but it wasn't. He was disappointed when he opened his eyes and saw Kyungsoo's big wide ones; his boyfriend cried in relief, but Jongin felt nothing. He didn't want to be there, he wanted those kisses and words – was it a dream? He didn't know. He just knew he felt good when he heard those 'I love you's, because he felt happy, complete.

Now he was just empty and alone.

"I love you, Jongin!" Kyungsoo sobbed. He didn't listen; his words were nothing compared to the ones of his dream – or was it a memory? But he didn't care, because he was clutching at those feelings like his life depended on them. "I love you." Jongin muttered.
He was saying that for the soft voice, not for his boyfriend.

The world he lived in was rotted. He knew that because the society made people sleep in ugly 'beds', that looked like white coffins – every time he went to sleep it felt like he was going to die a little inside. Nobody could dream. It was illegal, because it meant that people wanted to escape Eden, and it meant that humans used their imagination for themselves and not for citizens and society.

Jongin always snorted when he had to say 'Eden'. It was a lie, made of white, light green and electric blue, a city where everyone lived in peace and where they had to follow some rules. Eden smelled like mint-flavored toothpaste and even if it was fresh, he didn't like it. People had this stupid smile on their faces – always too glad to work for their society to understand what freedom meant. Neither Jongin knew what it was like, but he was sure that it tasted wonderful. He could still feel the touch on his skin, on his own lips, in his ears the reassuring whisper was still remanding him that he could have much more than a fake life.

Do not dream, do not rebel, and you will be rewarded.

Those who didn't follow the rules were thrown out in the dark side of the world; with harsh shouts, the rebels were forced to live a life full of shame, pain and sadness. Jongin was a rebel with his mind only, since he wanted to live peacefully and with the people he considered as family and friends. Kyungsoo was a simple acquaintance, even though they were meant to marry. He didn't know why their parents decided their marriage, they were both male and they couldn't have a child. Well, they could, but they couldn't get pregnant, that is.

Jongin thought Kyungsoo was nice, they could be friends, but he had a different kind of love for him. He couldn't truly love because the young man was chosen for him by someone else. Kyungsoo, on the contrary, was head over heels with him. Jongin pitied him so much, because he couldn't love him back, not now that he fell for the soft voice, but he knew that if it wasn't for that he would have slowly fell in love with Kyungsoo. He always thought of the voice, always thought of the kisses on his skin. Unfortunately, he couldn't dream of that man and he couldn't even imagine his face, his eyes. He had never seen his lips, nor his cheeks. He had never heard before of his voice.

Jongin had an accident, someone hit him really hard on his head and he was brought immediately to the hospital. He later found out that he had another little accident in his white bedroom: everyone who wanted to sleep had to use the bed provided by the society of Eden, and inside the beds there was a machine. It was used to block the colorful dreams people had in their minds. While Jongin was sleeping in the hospital, that machine wasn't working.

Even thought that meant he had dreamt, he was sure that every kiss, every caress he felt on his skin, was real. Jongin was sure he had already met the mysterious man with his soft voice and lips, but at the same time, it was something too good that it seemed like a dream. Anyway, the nurse who had to start the machine was fired and she disappeared in the dark side of the world, under everyone's accusing gaze.

How cruel was life with people.

Jongin heard the soft voice again two weeks after he returned home, but when he opened his eyes, he was completely alone. A second later, Kyungsoo arrived and gave him his breakfast and a good morning kiss. "Did you sleep well?" He asked; the other didn't answer and instead talked to himself. "Was I dreaming?" His boyfriend frowned and kissed him again. "Come on, today it's a special day and we have to get ready!" He chuckled. Jongin nodded and slowly got up. Kyungsoo had round eyes, and he was really cute, but unfortunately he always had to wear  the same clothes. Every citizen of Eden had his own special clothes, designed for him only. The colors were simple, clean: white, blue, green and pink. You couldn't have other colors, it was another rule; everyone seemed to enjoy Eden and his white, but Jongin didn't, not when he felt like he could have much more that just that.

At school, teachers taught him that only blood could be red, and only flowers, animals and food could have different colors. He remembered when he first saw his own blood – he had hurt himself in order to see the blood stains on the white everything of that world, and then his mother had shout in fear. He was just a child at that time, but he wanted to see what colors could give real life. "They told me we have red inside ourselves. I wanted to see that." He had explained to his poor mother who was crying. She had thought she had done something wrong with his son, but she wasn't the real problem. No, the main problem was that suffocating society. Why, why nobody could see the horrible world where they lived in?

Jongin was sure that Kyungsoo would be even more handsome dressed with a dark red shirt. Maybe he could fall in love with him, if only the young man owned a shirt of that color… Unfortunately, there were some thing that immediately attracted him, like the mysterious soft voice. But he knew that Kyungsoo had charm, so the man could do little and that could be enough for Jongin to fall in love with him. It was an incredible stupid reason, but the human's mind was just like that.

He felt like a thief, he was honestly scared of being thrown out of the city. He had been dreaming! What happened to the device inside his 'bed'? Was it broken? Or was it something else?! He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he couldn't hear Kyungsoo calling him. He shook his head and sighed, and then he walked slowly towards his boyfriend. "What do you think of dreaming?" He asked with tired voice. Kyungsoo frowned at the strange question. "What are you saying? Of course it's a really bad thing." Jongin scowled. "How can you say that is bad when you have never dreamt before?" The other man just hummed and smiled. "They told us so, I trust them. Now stop with those questions, we have to go to visit Taemin." Jongin sighed and shook his head. Why was Kyungsoo that blind?

He gasped slightly when he felt a soft touch on his lips and he blushed. He didn't expect a kiss, and he immediately felt guilt; Kyungsoo was so kind with him, and a part of him wanted to love him. The young man didn't understand how he was feeling at the moment! Guilt was eating him from inside. Even if he wanted to hear the voice again, he knew that it was better to just stop dreaming. He wanted to stop for himself… And for Kyungsoo. They were going to marry, he couldn't do that to him! Jongin needed to ask help to Taemin; he trusted him, even if his friend loved Eden. With flustered cheeks, he headed out of his apartment, followed by his lover, determined to put the word 'end' to his dreams as soon as possible.