Knowing that this was the last week I had my freedom, I wanted to create many happy memories with Donghae. I wanted to die with no regrets. The next morning, I woke up extra early to meet Donghae at the studio. When I got there, he was composing some music. I took a seat next to him.

“Donghae oppa!”

He looked up from his music sheets. “Jessica? What are you doing here so early?”

I giggled. “Let’s go on a date today!”

“Eh? Today?” he exclaimed in shock. “I don’t have time today! The other Super Junior members and I have to rehearse a new dance today!”

“But your performance isn’t until next week!” I pouted.

He flashed me a small smile. “Be a good girl Jessica! I’ll take you out later, I promise. It’s not like we can’t go out next week or something!”

I wanted to say ‘But it IS like we can’t go out next week.’ He took my hand and lifted me up to my feet and hugged me gently. I rested my head on his shoulder.

“I love you, you know that right?” asked Donghae.

“I know that, and I love you too Donghae,” I whispered back, hugging him tighter. “Hey Donghae?”

“Yeah?”

“Please don’t ever forget me…”

“Why would I forget you?”

“Just promise me you won’t forget me or hate me for what I do for us.”

“Although I don’t get what you mean- I promise.”

We broke the hug after a few minutes and I decided to leave so I wouldn’t bother him anymore. I couldn’t stop thinking about Donghae and I. If I die now, he’d be hurt. If he doesn’t know I’m dead, he’d feel no pain right? I sat down on my bed and rolled on my stomach. I grabbed the picture of Donghae I had next to my bed.

“Hey Donghae? Is it better for me to just disappear from your life now?”

I put the picture down and fell asleep under my covers, hugging a pillow. In the my dream, I saw Donghae walking away from me. My hand reached out to grab him but he never turned back. My heart hurt and I felt weak. Then I noticed something strange. He wasn’t the one leaving me… I was the one leaving him.

I gasped as I sat up on my bed, awakening from the strange dream. What did it mean? My mom used to say dreams always held meanings. I thought about it for awhile but I couldn’t come up with an answer. I got up from bed and went downstairs. Suddenly my phone vibrated. A text? I flipped open my phone.

From Donghae to Jessica:

Sorry Jessica! I have a recording session today so I won’t be able to see you!

JEONGMAL MIANHAE!

I couldn’t believe my eyes. Why was it that Donghae was always busy this week? Why did it have to be this week? I knew Donghae didn’t mean anything bad but I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down my cheeks. Suddenly, I heard someone knocking on my door. Who could it be?

I opened the door and Taeyeon stood there, smiling back at me. “Hey Jessica!”

“Taeyeon? What are you doing here?” I asked.

She took one look at me and then her facial expression changed. “Were you crying?”

I wiped my eyes quickly. “Um…”

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing…”

“You always say it’s nothing but it’s so obvious there is something bothering you!”

“I can’t bring myself to say it to you...”

Then, I felt faint again. ‘Please not now! Not in front of Taeyeon!’ I shouted in my mind but sadly, my body was no longer in my control.

I woke up in the hospital with Taeyeon holding my hand. She had fallen asleep but as I slowly woke up, she did too.

“Jessica! I was so worried!”

“Tae…yeon… I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“No, don’t mind me. I just heard something strange from the doctor. Tell me it’s not true! Tell me you aren’t dying!”

I laid my head back and took a deep breath. “I see that you know now. Please don’t tell anyone- especially Donghae. I don’t want to burden him or anyone else.”

Taeyeon’s tears came out of her eyes. I gently wiped them dry. The doctor and nurse came in and the doctor told me I had to stay in the hospital.

“But I need to be with Donghae when he gets his award! I have to be there!”

Taeyeon stopped me from getting out of bed. “Mianhae, Jessica. Your health is more important.”

“But I promised him I’d be there!”

“Promises can be broken.”

My eyes widened as she said those words. I couldn’t just leave Donghae like this… or could I?

“Let me break up with him then.”

“What?”

“Let me break up with him. It’s better than vanishing from his life. I’d rather him hate me for the rest of his life than letting him know I died.”

Taeyeon stared into my eyes before opening . “You’re not kidding…”

I smiled weakly. “I’m serious.”

Taeyeon looked at the doctor. “Is it okay for her to leave and come back later today?”

He let out a sigh. “Fine but make sure she’s back TODAY.”

Taeyeon thanked the doctor as he left the room and slowly brought me to my feet. Then, after I was able to stand up myself, I went to find Donghae at the recording studio.

When I got there, I saw him with the other Super Junior members. Leeteuk saw me coming so he nudged Donghae and pointed at me. Donghae came out shortly after and he pulled me to the side.

“Why are you here?”

“We need to talk.”

“About what?”

“I..I think…” I stuttered. This was harder than I thought.

“What do you think?” he asked, feeling something bad was about to happen- he was right.

“I think we should break up.”