I have a secret. A secret most people don’t know. When I was little, I was diagnosed with a mysterious disease. None of the doctors had seen anything like it before and they couldn’t find out what was wrong with me. They took me to a lab and took some samples of my blood and tissues. They still couldn’t find the thing that was making me sick. The only thing they managed to find out was how long I had left to live. They said I wouldn’t make it to my 18^th birthday. I asked if this conclusion was one hundred percent sure. They said they were 90% sure.

I’m almost 18 now, and I have a wonderful boyfriend. He’s a singer- member of the Super Junior group. His name is Donghae. Although his fans see him as super friendly and charismatic, I know it’s all fake. The Donghae I know is actually pretty reserved. He doesn’t talk too much and he has a dream. He wants to get many awards from singing. I support him completely- that is why I don’t tell him about my health condition. If I told him, I’d be burdening him.

“Jessica!” called Taeyeon [my best friend (A/N: Also normal girl)], walking up to me.

I turned around. “Yeah?”

“Donghae’s looking for you…”

I let out a small smile and got up. “Where is he?”

She pointed to his dressing room and I headed over. When I opened the door, I saw him sitting on the chair with a guitar out.

“You play the guitar?” I asked, slowly pushing the door open.

He spun around. “I’m learning.”

I took a seat next to him and ran my fingers through my hair. He continued strumming the guitar and humming along. I watched him as he played.

“So what did you call me for?” I asked, breaking the silence.

He smirked. “I can’t see my girlfriend when I want?”

I playfully hit him on his shoulder. Then I began thinking about my health and bad thoughts began to arise.

“Donghae?”

“Yeah?”

“What would you do if one day I wasn’t here anymore?”

He stopped strumming the guitar and the smile on his face vanished. He stared into my eyes with deep concern.

“Is there something I should know?”

“It’s just a ‘what if’ question!” I told him, covering up the truth.

He let out a sigh. “This isn’t a ‘what if’ question. You really scared me then.”

“Mianhae,” I apologized.

I continued to stare into his eyes. I didn’t want to die yet. I wanted to be with Donghae forever. I knew I loved him with all my heart and I didn’t want him to be hurt. Suddenly, I got a phone call. I picked up my phone.

“Hello?”

“Hello this is the hospital calling. It’s time for your monthly check-up.”

“Arasseo. I’ll be right there.”

I hung up the phone.

“Who was it?” he asked.

I immediately lied. “It was Taeyeon. She wants me to go to the mall with her.”

He nodded, understandingly. He gave me a goodbye kiss on my cheek and I waved goodbye. When I got to the hospital, the nurse took another blood sample from my arm. The doctor came in soon after and asked me a million questions. I answered everything honestly.

By the time he asked me the last question, I started to feel weird. My head suddenly filled with unbearable pain and I passed out. When I came to, I was in a hospital bed. The first thing I did was check my phone. If Donghae had called or texted, it was best if I answered him first so he didn’t suspect anything was wrong. I looked at the screen. Nothing. I let out a sigh of relief.

The doctor and nurse came in together shortly after.

“I see you’re awake!” said the nurse.

She seemed like she had a bubbly personality. The doctor walked over to my bed side to check the equipment that was monitoring me. Then, he grabbed a chair and sat down next to me.

“It’s best if you stay in the hospital for awhile.”

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“Remember how I told you that you wouldn’t make it to your 18^th birthday?”

“Yes?”

I didn’t want to hear what he had to say next. I knew it wasn’t going to be good news.

“You’re time is almost up.”

“How long do I have?”

“About 2 weeks maximum.”

 I felt like the world stopped revolving. “Can’t I get surgery to make me live a little longer?”

“Since we can’t figure out what’s wrong with you, it’s not possible.”

This was too much for me. What was I going to do about Donghae? I didn’t know. No, I didn’t want to think anymore. I couldn’t die yet. It was too soon! I immediately started getting out of bed. The doctor and nurse tried to hold me back but I insisted to leave.

“Alright. You can leave but you must come back and stay in the hospital by the end of this week.”

I nodded and walked away. I felt tears filling my eyes. What did I ever do to deserve this? After I wiped my eyes dry, I went back to Super Junior’s studio. When I walked in, I saw everyone practicing. My friend, Taeyeon was sitting on the bench, next to Leeteuk. They seemed to be getting along. I walked up to Donghae who was getting some water.

When I got up to him, I wrapped my arms around his waist from behind.

“Jessica?” he asked, confused by my actions.

“Don’t move. Let me stay like this for awhile,” I pleaded.

“Jessica? What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing… I don’t want to burden you.”

“Tell me.”

“It’s really nothing that serious.”

Although I knew he was still suspicious, he said, “Alright, I trust you.”

I felt touched by his words and felt guilty for lying to him.

He put his hand to my cheek and my hand grabbed his. “Jessica, next week Super Junior has to go on stage for the music awards. You have to come!”

Next week? But I would be in the hospital that day… eottokhae? I nodded but I didn’t know if I would go- if I COULD go. Donghae’s expression became bright after I said I would go. I cringed at the feeling of guilt in my heart.  

Hey Donghae, if this was the last week we had together, what would you do?