Jongup spends the next hour searching, hopelessly wandering. Dongjak was a dead end so he’s banking on the karaoke bar where all of Daehyun's so-called friends are and as he makes his way in, the all too familiar slew of worry comes over him. Jiho is the only stagnant figure in the room. He catches sight of Jongup waving a frantic hand in his direction and awkwardly he maneuvers through drunken bodies tossing about.

“Where’s Dae?” Jongup yells barely above the chaos.

Jiho shakes his head. “He never showed.”

“What?” Jongup more states than asks and drags the other outside. “Why aren’t you guys looking for him?”

“Everyone tried calling him, he never answered.”

Jongup sighs and without a word, flees to the parking lot, Jiho quick to chase. “Where are you going?” Jongup starts the car, but pauses when someone climbs into the passenger’s seat. “What are you doing?”

“Going with you,” Jiho replies, clicking the seatbelt into place. Jongup doesn’t have time to argue, just speeds out of the parking lot and in a matter of minutes he is screeching to a stop in their driveway, not even locking the car before dashing toward the front door. He throws a glance at Daehyun’s window, the light off.

“Dae!” he calls out, but it’s in vain because the room is empty. Slowly he steps from the threshold, Jiho acknowledging the silence as defeat.

“Where do you think he went?” he asks to ease the tension.

“Do you think I’d be running around if I knew?” Jongup barks, frustration misdirected. “I’m sorry I’m just worried cause…” he trails off. Jiho waits for the rest, but a long pause follows. “Cause what?”

Jongup shakes his head. “Never mind. It’s too much to explain right now. We just need to find Dae.”

“Why is it so important to find him right this second? Don’t you think you’re kinda overreacting?  He’s probably partying somewhere else.”

Jongup sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “In case you haven’t noticed, Daehyun isn’t the most likeable person. He doesn’t make friends easily, he doesn’t party, he doesn’t do a lot. It’s not without justification, but we’ll save that explanation for another day,” Jongup pauses a moment, “His ex is back in town and apparently he’s been setting up all these surprises for Daehyun for his birthday. The problem with that is, to put it simply, the guy broke Daehyun’s heart and I don’t mean it like it was just some high school crush, I mean he completely obliterated his world and I’m worried that Dae might be overwhelmed by all of this. He might be in some random place all by himself with no one to protect him. I'm supposed to protect him.” Jongup's voice is desparate.

Jiho feels guilty for asking, gaze settling on the floorboards. With a sigh, Jongup continues, “Dae wasn’t always the way he was when you first met him. He used to smile so big that his eyes would shrink into tiny slits.” Jongup curves his fingers to form crescents in front of his eyes. Jiho’s lips half turn up at the gesture. Jongup drops his hands, barely able to remember the laughs he’s missed and looks back up to the other.

“They were together for years. Dae never complained once, not even when things started changing. He just sort of balled himself up in a shell of his own making. He stopped talking, stopped laughing, stopped everything. Dae's ex was his life. Then he destroyed it. Now, he’s back and he wants Dae back.”

Jiho sinks a little. “And you’re okay with that? With letting that try to get Dae back after everything he’s done to him?”

Jongup understands the elder’s concern, but knows there’s so much more to this than he can ever explain.

“Jiho, you weren’t there,” Jongup shakes his head, “You weren’t there when it was perfectly perfect. You weren’t there when hit the fan. And you weren’t there to see the things I wish I didn’t have to. I know why you don’t want his ex to go anywhere near Dae, trust me I know. I felt the same. But you don’t know what’s going on with Dae. If there’s any hope left of bringing the old Dae back, it’s Yongguk.”

Jiho's eyes round in shock. "Y-Yongguk is Daehyun's ex?" he exclaims louder than intended. Jongup clucks his tongue with the name slip, but confirms with a whispered, "Yeah."

Jiho takes a moment to process. "But he's been living with you guys. How is that even working? Why would you do that to Dae? If you knew, why would you let him near Dae?"

"Because, like I just told you, Yongguk is my only hope of Dae being happy again. I know it sounds crazy and I'll try to explain better later, but we're losing time right now. I have to find Dae."

Jiho nods, picks at a loose thread, reluctant to ask about something that’s been digging at him all day and as the words leave his lips they’re replaced with petty shame. "So is Yongguk the one who put that thing on Daehyun’s apron?”

“What?” Jongup asks, irritation lining his tone.

“We went to the café earlier and when Dae came out, there was a little banner thing on his apron that said Jiho is a…pooface.”

A small amount of amusement comes with the almost innocent pout of childish sulking and Jongup can’t help but grin. “So you saw the café all decked out?” 

Jiho nods. “Yongguk did all of that.” Jongup nods with the look of surprise on the other’s face.

“Yup. There was a lot more that Yongguk had set up for him and basically, Dae wasn’t where he should have been so that’s why I’m worried. He’s in a vulnerable state right now. I’ve seen him at his worst. I know what he’s like. That’s why we need to find him.”

Jiho nods, earnestly this time. “Let’s go.”

*

Yongguk finds himself in a field listlessly wandering among a blanket of unmaintained green, the moon providing the only light casting vaguely across its span. He can feel the skin on his cheeks crack a bit through the saline crisping in a clear layer over it. His legs drag heavy and he looks up through eyes worn at soft patterns waving with a passing breeze. He stops when a familiar spot comes to sight and settles beneath the tree. Memories of their past flood over him.

He remembers how seamlessly their fingers intertwined, how he’d hold Daehyun’s hand up to slide his own fingers along their length before curling between his knuckles and the younger would smile when they melded together. Yongguk outstretches an arm, eclipses the half moon with fingers spread. Slowly he lifts the other to lock fingers and watches as they drop into his lap.

*

Daehyun slides the back of his forearm roughly across his face though it does little to stop the tears. It’s too late. He’s too late.

It takes a great deal of strength to admit to himself what he had fought for so long. People never stop loving their first love, they just learn to live without them and that’s exactly what he did. He’d been living each day without him, meticulously avoiding the risk of vulnerability, but now Yongguk is here staring him straight in the face and instead of reaching out, Daehyun is pushing away.

Daehyun is convinced that he can keep doing it – living without him – because up until now he’s been fine hiding behind an intangible wall. He thinks the loathing will override any inkling left of what ever it is that he once felt. Yet, somehow pushing Yongguk away doesn’t suffice. It doesn’t ease the pain. It doesn’t make everything okay. It hurts. Daehyun is so confused. There’s a constant battle within himself, one he finds no victor in. 

He has come to Dongjak for a reason, he knows, and although his mind is prone to defying his heart, even it can’t argue with that fact. Daehyun grips the flowers tighter and his eyes widen with realization. Two hearts broke tonight.

He stares at the note once more and this time he notices something in the corner he hadn’t seen before. On the back are five words written in barely legible penmanship.

And every day after that.

His chest tightens. The words ring in his head as he remembers the day they were first uttered. Yongguk’s voice resonates, tender and reassuring, “I love you. And I’ll love you tomorrow. And every day after that.”

The flowers hit the pavement.

Daehyun bolts.

~

Please be there. Daehyun runs as long as his legs allow eventually giving way to the fire lining his thighs. Choppy breathing cuts through the silence as he carries on, determined to get there by any means. He pushes forward when he sees the field and a weak smile is tugging at his lips. As he nears the top of that oh so familiar hill, he collapses, heart following suit.

No one is here.

Daehyun braces himself against the trunk and leans his head back. Something white flutters in the corner of his eye and he plucks it from the trunk. A tiny veil of hope flushes over him as he peruses the scrap of paper.

Mission three: Goodbye, Daedae

Daehyun scrunches his brows together as tears well up.

I don’t know if you will read this. I don’t know if you’ll come here. I don’t know if you even remember this place. But I do. I remember. I’m so sorry for everything. Thank you for letting me be someone special to you even if just for a moment. My biggest mistake will forever be my biggest regret.

Another arrow points to the back and he flips the note over.

You’re too pretty to cry and you have the best smile. You should let the world see it. I know you’ll find happiness again. Even if it’s with big nose.

Mission three: Goodbye Daedae: Complete

Once again at the very bottom something is scribbled.

P.S. Jiho’s still a pooface

Daehyun stifles a whimper. And just as he’s about to let it all out, a voice cuts through the silence. “Dae!”

His head shoots up; two silhouettes approach quickly. A panting Jongup falls to the grass beside him. Jiho leans against the trunk as coolly as he can, struggling to keep his breathing under control. Daehyun uses the edges of his sleeves to dry his face, not sure what these two are even doing here. Jongup takes a minute to calm his breathing and sits up.

“Dae,” he utters, looking deep into the other’s puffy eyes. “Are you okay?”

Daehyun sniffles, head kept lowered and nods. Jiho exchanges glances with the other and Jongup runs a hand over Daehyun’s back, pulling him into his chest.

“How did you know I was here?”

“I didn’t, you idiot. I spent two hours running around looking for you. And you had to be in the last place I look.”

“I’m sorry,