Eunhyuk stood in silence, still doubting himself. Should he knock the door? Or leane him alone? But it was 3 days already. Well, Eunhyuk should do this.

Knock...knock...

”Donghae-ah...”

No answer

”Please, open the door....”

No answer

Eunhyuk sighed. It was 3 days after her funeral. And since that day, Donghae locked himself in his room. He didn’t want to eat nor talk to anyone. Eunhyuk was worried. He knew that his friend was in deep sadness. His friend was in deep guilt. But it wasn’t Donghae’s fault. It was fate. And everytime Eunhyuk said that to him, he didn’t want to accept reality. He kept blaming himself.

“Donghae-ah, Siwon-ssi is here. He want to meet you.”

“.........”

“He want to talk about Yoona...”

And then the door opened, revealing the messy Donghae. His eyes were puffy, his hair was messy, his face was pale.

Donghae took some letters from Siwon.  They were Yoona’s. Siwon said that Yoona wrote this letters all this time for Donghae. And know it was the right time to give them to Donghae.

“And tomorrow, I’ll be leaving.” Siwon added.

“Where will you go, Siwon-ssi?”

“I’ll go to Japan. I want to forget her. There are many memories of her here. And it’s hurt when you wake up in the morning and realize that......,” he paused, “.......she was gone....”

Donghae could see that Siwon was in pain as much as him. Who wouldn’t? Yoona was unforgettable woman.

Siwon was preparing to leave but he turned his body and looked at Donghae again.

“Donghae-ssi....”

Donghae looked at Siwon.

“Before she died, she wanted me to tell you this....”

Siwon stepped closer to Donghae.

“She wanted me to ask you to forgive her. She said sorry to you. She said that it would be better if you know the truth before she left. But she was regretting herself for not daring to tell you....”

Donghae held his tears. His heart was aching after hearing this. Yoona still asking apology from him when she was dying. And he? He did nothing for her.

“And she said that she loves you. She always love you.....”

Donghae fell on his knees. Tears are falling down. She loved him. She always love him. And he didn’t have a chance to tell her back that he still loved her. To tell her that he couldn’t forget her and he always wish that someday she would comeback to him.

LETTER #1

Annyeong oppa~

How are you? I hope you’ll fine.

Oppa~, yesterday I arrived at America. Do you remember the day when we were arguing about America?

I remember when I said that America is big country with busy people and amazing traffic jam, you disagreed. You said that America is a big country with amazing cities and amazing people. Now, I realize that you’re right oppa. I saw it with my own eyes. Sometimes, I’m angry with you. Wae are you always right? Kekeke~

Oppa~, I miss you already. Do you miss me? Emmh.... I bet you don’t. I know you’ll hate me because I left you without any reasons. I lied oppa. I lied to you when I said that I didn’t love you anymore.

But believe me oppa, I do this for your own best. I’m sick oppa. I have serious sickness. And I don’t want you to spend your time for me. I don’t want you to wait for me. I’m afraid that your waiting will be in vain. I’m afraid if I’ll die in your waiting, oppa. I’m sorry....

But I promise, if my sickness is gone, I’ll comeback to you. I promise...

I love you Oppa.

Love,

Yoona

LETTER #2

Annyeong oppa~

Donghae oppa, it’s winter here. Emmmh.. It’s so cold oppa >.<

And I miss your warm ToT

I remember you always hold my hands tightly when we walked down in the street. You would wrap your arm around my shoulders to give me warm. We bought hot chocolate together and you would cuddle me to sleep. Ah... I really miss that moments oppa L

I’ll get better oppa. And we’ll do that moments again. Pray for me, oppa.

I love you..

Love,

Yoona

LETTER #3

Annyeong oppa~

Oh....Merry Christmas (^o^)

Emh...yesterday I saw a big christmas tree in city square. Wow, it’s soooo beautiful! And I saw many santa clauses in the  street. And it make me remember you again.

When Christmas came, we always decorate our own tree together. And when I said that it was beautiful, you would say that I was more beatiful. You were so cheesy, oppa. Kekeke~

But that is one of many things I miss you about J

And you would wear santa costume to make me happy. In the midnight, you would surprise me with your gift. I really wish to spend this Christmas with you. But I can’t L

Emmh.. I wonder how’s your Christmas this year? You spend it with your 3 buddies, right? Give my hugs for them, arasso? :D

Or you spend it with your new girlfriend? I’ll be sad if that so. But I can’t blame you. If you find another woman and you are happy because of her, I’ll be happy Oppa.

I love you...

Love,

Yoona

LETTER #4

Annyeong oppa~

It’s spring here. But the weather still rather cold -.-

Oppa, I have a new friend. His name is Choi Siwon. I prefer calling him Siwonnie to Siwon Oppa. But when I call him like that, he’ll pretend to mad at me. So, in the end I call him Siwon Oppa. Such a chodding, right? Kekeke~

Actually he’s my doctor. But because I was lonely here, he offered to be my friend. So I told him about you every single days. He is a good listener and he want to meet you someday. But I will think it back. Considering that you are a jealously type :p

But someday I think I will bring him along when I meet you again. I want to see your jealous face. You know when you are jealous you become devilishly handsome.

I love you so much ~

Love,

Yoona

LETTER #5

Annyeong oppa ~

How are you?

Oppa, since I arrived at america, I always do the treatment that hospital give to me. You know, it’s hurt oppa. That treatment is painful. Sometimes, I cried silently because I couldn’t handle the pain. But Siwonnie always say that I’ll be okay.

I trust him. I’ll be okay. I’ll be okay for you oppa. I want to meet you again. I want to be with you again. So, I will hold the pain during the treatment. Because It’s the only way for me to survive. To be able seeing you again.

I love you oppa .....

Love,

Yoona

LETTER #6

Annyeong oppa~

It’s been a long time since I wrote the last letter.

Don’t be mad at me oppa. It’s not like Iam dating someone else and forget you.

It’s just..............

Em... my condition become worse as time goes by. And I have additional treatment. So I couldn’t write the letters for a long time. Mianhae oppa :’(

I love you...

Love,

Yoona

LETTER #7

Annyeong oppa~

Oppa, day by day I feel that my body become weaker and weaker. I feel like that treatments that they give aren’t working on me anymore.

When Siwonnie said I’ll be okay, I don’t think I will.

It’s not like I don’t trust him anymore. But .........

I don’t know...... I feel like Iam not goin to be okay. I feel like Iam going to die soon. Iam so afraid. What if I can’t meet you again? What if I can’t see you again? What if I can’t apologize to you? Iam afraid oppa. And it’s killing me :’(

I love you......

Love,

Yoona

LETTER #8

Annyeong oppa~~

Oppa, I have a great news for you!

Guess what? .............

Um...... you’re wrong.

Guess again!........

What?! You give up ?

Arasseo arasseo, you always like this if I give you something to guess K

Well, prepare your self oppa....

Are you ready?

1......2.......3......!

OPPA! I’LL GO TO SEOUL TOMORROW! \(^o^)/

YAAAYY!!!

I know I know, you’re jumping like crazy right now! Iam also excited for tomorrow oppa. Siwonnnie told me that I can go back to Seoul. It seems like he understand that my life isn’t long anymore. But it doesn’t matter. Finally I can meet you again. And yeah of course, Siwonnie also come with me. He said that he worried about me. He even threatened me. If Iam daring to call him Siwonnie, he will cancel the flight. Well, in order to meet you, I will call him oppa. Kekekekeke~

Ha! You’re right I’ll be able to see your jealous face. Iam the devil Yoona after all. Kekekekeke~

I think, I can’t sleep tonight. I hope tomorrow will come faster. >.<

I love you oppa....

Love,

Yoona

LETTER #9

Annyeong oppa~

Finnaly, Iam here Seoul. Iam here oppa. Iam back.

I comeback for you oppa.......

You know I was angry with Siwonnie, ups.... I mean Siwon oppa, earlier. Because he forbid me to meet you today. He said that I have to take a rest first. Well, first I was angry but I know he forbid me because he cares to me. He wanted me to take a rest so I can’t meet you with my cheerful face tomorrow. Not with my tired one. But he also make me can’t sleep again. Eottoke ? I can’t  wait anymore!

Oppa~~ do you miss me? Do you waant to meet me? Or you already forget about me? Oooooh.. I’ll ask many questions to you kekekekeke~~

I love you

Love,

Yoona

LETTER #10

Anyeong oppa~

I don’t know what should I feel right now.

Of course, Iam happy to meet you today. But the meeting was a kinda far from I expected. I wanted to surprise you when you’re home. So Siwon oppa and I decided to buy your favorite foods in your favorite caffe. While I was waiting for him to buy them, I bumped into someone. I lifted my face to know who it was. I was shock. It was you. It was you, Hae oppa. It was you, the person who I want to meet the most. So, I called you. And you seemed so shock to seeing me. You kept staring at me with your worry look. So, I called your name. I was trembling. I want to run at you. I want to hug you. I want to touch your face. I want to kiss you. But my body didn’t want to move. I felt that my tears were streaming. I really miss you oppa. I really do. I cursed my self for frozing in that time. And then Hyukie oppa pulled you to step back. I could feel like I was in pain.

When Siwon oppa came out from caffe to help me, I could see jealously in your eyes. I know I said that I want to see you jealous. But not in this time. Not in this condition.

When Heenim oppa grabbed your hand and stared at me coldly, I realized that you hate me. But I don’t know that you will hate me this much oppa. Iam suffering.

But I know it was my fault anyway.

Mianhae oppa.....

Mianhae for everything.....

I want you to know that Iam regretting my self for leaving you. If I know it will be like this, I’ll spend the rest of my life with you. I wouldn’t do the treatments. I wouldn’t leave you and making you hate me. If I know it before, I’ll gladly Die in your side. Now, the treatments were you useless, Iam goiing to die. And you also hate me.

I wish God take my life sooner. So, I won’t be in pain anymore. So, I won’t see you hate me. And I won’t life without you. Cause I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT YOU LEE DONGHAE.

Iam sorry if my tears wetted this letter. Iam such a cry baby, am I ?

It might be the last letter I wrote for you oppa.

Because you won’t read them anyway. Probably you don’t want to read them. And probably I have no long time anymore to keep writing letters.

The last thing that I want to tell you is......

I love you .........

I always and will always love you, Hae oppa.

Love,

Your bad Yoona

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DONGHAE POV

I burst into tears. My hands held her last letter tightly. I felt the biggest pain in my life. I lost her. I lost her before I could tell her that I loved her. I loved her so badly. Why I was being so dumb? Why I was being so blind? I said I loved her but I hurted her when she already cameback. I wasn’t in her side when she was going to die. I treated her like she was burden in her last time. She always asking for my apology. And I couldn’t say that I forgave her. I even didn’t have a chance to apologized to her. I cried out. Yoona, i wouldn’t let you leave me alone again. Not this time. Because, I COULDN’T LIFE WITHOUT YOU EITHER. I would see you again. Please, wait for me Im Yoona. And we would be like before. We would be happy again.

END  OF POV

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Eunhyuk stared at sky. It was a shiny day. He could feel sunshine reached his face. And it was the first time he felt something peaceful after all of things happened. He took a deep breath. The friendly wind blew his hair softly. And after a while he turned his gaze away from sky. From a far, he could see a couple standing hand in hand. They were smiling to him and they seemed happy. Eunhyuk couldn’t help but smiling back. Then he looked at Heechul and Leeteuk that silently praying in front of Two graves. Yeah, this were Donghae’s and Yoona’s. one week passed after Donghae’s funeral. And today, they visited Donghae and Yoona.

“I think there is no need to worry again, Hyungs.....”

Leeteuk and Heechul turned to Eunhyuk and made confused look. Eunhyuk turned his gaze again at that couple. They were still smiling to him.

“They’re happy now.” Eunhyuk added and smiled again.

That couple waved at him and the man mouthed thank you to Eunhyuk. And after a while they dissappeared.

Eunhyuk knew that Donghae’s decision to commit suicide wasn’t a good thing. But it might be the best for them. The could be together again. And Eunhyuk knew that a while ago they tried to tell him that they were happy now.

Because they couldn’t live without each other......