Tomorrow morning, Siwon saw Heechul in the press conference. He seemed like the usual, he even laughed with him in some questions…but after the press conference, he went with Leetuek  and siwon didn’t see him again after. One day passed and the night came. He ran all the ways to their room with a big anxiety in his heart but when he entered the room his little hope disappeared. Sungmin was sitting on Heechul’s bed and was watching tv! Siwon understood everything and his eyes burnt from tears! Sungmin seems he knew something  and asked ”Are you ok?”

 Siwon sat on his own bed ”Yes…yes..” 

“You are out of breath! What is the problem?”

 Siwon tried to not look at Sugnmin’s eyes: “Nothing…is…does Heenim wanted you to replace rooms with him?”

 “Yes…” Sungmin still watching TV replied.

 Siwon felt a big pain in his heart :”So…he is with han now…isn’t he?’ 

“Yes!” 

He stood up and turned his back to Sungmin so he wouldn’t see his tears :” I am going to  bathe…”

 “Ok!”

 He step towards the bathroom door but suddenly stopped  :”When Heenim kissed you..what did you feel?” 

Sungmin was so gentle “I had guessed that kiss was your reason for arguing …! That kiss made you angry too?”

 Siwon turned to him.:”What do you means? That made you angry?”

 “Of course…I think Heenim should care about our feelings…” 

Siwon wondered:” Feelings? What feelings?  !” 

Sungmin’s face turned pink  “You know…Heenim never thought about what other feels..he do what he wants! Maybe open mouth kiss is so easy and nothings for him but..what about us? He never thought that maybe…makes someone…lover?”

Siwon’s eyes wide open :”What?! So you…you fell in love with him?”

 NO ! but..,.i tried to don’t fall! You know..he is so beautiful and seducing…and…now that he kissed you too you know too how professional he is! He push his hot lips so wildly on yours and kisses so yily  …oh my god what I am saying?”

Sungmin laughed but Siwon can’t laugh at all …so they are in the same boat

***

When Heechul went to the room, Han was preparing to sleep. When Han saw him, he smiled  :”Wow how a big honor! A prince came to my little cottage!” 

Heechul put his bag on bed:”Oh shut up!...I am not in a good mood!”

“Yes..i can see!..What is the reason? Your hot kiss? ”

 Heechul took out his coat:”I don’t want to speak about that!” 

 But Han continued :” So that was the reason! Siwon must be so happy, wasn’t he?” 

Heechul looked at Han’s face :”Why? What do you means?”

 Han sighed :”He got a perfect kiss from his love! “

 Heechul was shocked :” His  love? Are you talking…about me?!”

 Han was shocked as well. ”Of course you! That wasn’t your reason for kissing him? You didn’t accept his love?”

”W…what! No!...oh what’s going on here? !” 

Han sat on his bed: “So..as I expected…you was playing  with his feelings!”

Heechul felt dizzy :”What feelings!? Do ..you…know..”

 “Everybody knows! How could you possibly not know!…All his moves were showing how much he love  you!"

Heechul couldn’t stand it any more and sat on his bed :”Oh…my god! So. ..he  talked with you?”

 Han is sad now:”Yes..often…all along this 2 years he talked with all of us…and he cried so much!” 

Heechul put his hand on his head and said: “But…how…this…” 

Han got angry:” So if you didn’t know….why did you kissed him?”

 “You know me! I..I thought that makes the show so...so...oh…what did I do?!”

 “That’s not a problem..he have always loved you but I think that kiss…gave him the opportunity  to confess his love ...maybe he thought you love him too…and… it seems you rejected him …so this is the reason of the you two arguing? Am I right?” 

Heechul nodded his head . “…What should I do now Han?”

“You don’t love him?”

 “I..I don’t know! I..love him like a..little brother but now…are you saying …I should accept him?”

 Han looks serious. “If you love him even just a little …let him have you! He already got too much pain all along these times …and  in this condition …if you refuse him..maybe he would leave the group! And you know that this would make leetuek sad! In fact it would made all of us..even you,  sad! Don’t do something that would make you regret!

***

Sungmin is breathing slowly that shows he’s already sleeping. Siwon can’t sleep with the thought that his love was in Han’s bed!Didn’t heechul purpose to come back again? Had he lost Heenim forever ? What should he do? His eyes filled again with hot tears…how much he missed him! Suddenly the door opened. Corridor’s light fall in the room and someone came in! Siwon rose his head  and saw Han!

Siwon whispered :” What are you doing here?”

Han whispered too:”Go…he’s waiting for you!”

 Siwon jumped from his bed to the ground:”What?!” 

Han put his finger on his lips:”hishhh! “

 Sungmin moved a little so Siwon moved closer to Han :”What’s going on?” 

Han smiled :”I spoke with him” 

Siwon can see Han’s hopeless face under the corridor’s light:”Really? And what did he said?”

 “Go and hear yourself..I’ll stay here tonight ”

 Siwon’s heart started beating :”But…how about you? Your love?!” 

“I lost!  I don’t want him hurting  anymore if he knows..i love him too..He’ll get hurt !”  

Siwon hugged him. “Thank you..thank you…”

 Han pushed him away: “Go you fool! If you get late I will catch him and this time I won’t give him to you!”

 Siwon laughed and started to run  …

When the door  closed Sungmin opened his eyes :” Are you ok?”

 Han didn’t answered so Sung min sat up. “I’m proud of you!”

 Han’s crying voice rose up!  

***

Heknocked the door and heard Heechul’s smooth voice  :”Come in!” 

Siwon can’t control his breathing!

He pened the door and went to the room. Heechul is in a white blouse and pajama, sitting on one of the two beds edge and seems so gentle. Siwon’s face got ablaze from excitement and shame…:”Hi!”

 Heechul motioned him to sit on the other bed :”Sit..we should talk!”

 Siwon went and sat opposite of him :”I am..so so sorry that I made you upset and..” 

“No…I should apologize  ..I was so harsh to you! In fact I hope you understand me…I..I never thought about you this way and…”

 Siwon was so happy that he can’t even speak easily :”Oh..I…I understand..I shouldn’t have said anything …I should kept it like before…forever  …and I don’t expect anything from you…”

 “No you should’ve said it sooner..if I knew it…I wouldn’t hurt you … “ 

“You never hurt me..I…I love everything about you…even your violence! ” 

And he couldn’t continue. For a long time they didn’t said anything, only the clock making some noises …tik tak tik tak! Until Heechul murmured : “Ok…it is too late..  You should sleep ..I think I should go to the bathroom first…I …“

But when he stood up Siwon fall on his knees and hugged Heechul’s legs :”Thank you Heenim…thank you for accepting  me!”

Heechul laughed:”Oh come on! So childish!”

Siwon closed his eyes:”I missed you so much…I miss you every moment…please promise to never leave me again…please…”

Heechul rubbed his hair :”Ok ..ok…let’s take it easy eh?”

Siwon rose his head and look at his beautiful face  :” What do you mean? Did I do something wrong?”

Heechul grabbed Siwon’s  wrists :”I mean..I had a hard time yesterday and today ..Let’s continue tomorrow..Ok?”

Siwon, embarrassed, released him fast and stood up. :”Oh sorry! I understand…”

Heechul smiled :”I will take a short shower and  comeback …I will try don’t make a noise..”

Siwon scared :”Oh no..Don’t go!”

 “ Why?” 

“it‘s ..It’s dangerous!!” 

“For what? “

Siwon‘s face color turned to red! :” Just…don’t go! Please!”

Heechul got upset : “What is the matter?”

Siwon bend his neck and stared at the floor:”I…I want you so badly tonight…only thinking about your body makes me crazy…I am…afraid..I… might harm you.”

Heechul laughed:”You fool…scared me !”

“I am serious!”

“I know but…I’m not scared from you!”

He started walking but Siwon caught his arm :”Please don’t go!”

Heechul sighed:” Now what? I already said that you don’t scare me…”

“If you go.. I will miss you so much!”

Heechul laughed so loud  :”Oh how romantic come on …  I need to get shower…”

Hetried to open Siwon’s hand  but this time Siwon hugged him fast and tight !: “Even I miss you here…in my arms!” 

“So… where can I be that you won’t miss me?”

Siwon pushed his head on own chest and sighed  :”There is nowhere …even if I’ll be in my grave …I will miss you like now and always!...oh I love you!”

Heechul’s heart trembled  :”Thank you Siwon…for loving me this much and…I…love you too!”

Suddenly Siwon started to crying! Heechul rose his head “What happened? “

Siwon cried so hard! Heechul wanted to move back but Siwon closed his arms and groaned :”  don’t be scare  my love….I am so happy, this are tears of happiness ! I can’t believe yet that you accepted my love …thank you..oh you are in my arms...I can't believe it how much lucky I am …”

Heechul hugged him too and said:”Now I’m scared!”

Siwon got worried :”Why?”

Heechul was serious :”You are so in love! I am afraid you might hurt me!”

Siwon smiled:”You’re right…I am afraid too…if I start it…I am sure I can’t stop myself…”

Heechul joked   :”So never start it ok?”

He then opened his arms to go but Siwon pulled his arm again and this time he put his shaky lips on Heechul's hot lips. Wow. How wonderful it feels!! How wonderful it taste! This is what he’ve always dreamed about!

Heechul  can't move! He still can’t believe what’s happening! This is Siwon’s mouth that   his lips so wildly!

Siwon got crazy! He continue kissing more greedilyy and more frenzied ..his right arms looped around Heechul 's  neck and his other hand  slipped down to Heechul’s  waist. Heechul struggled to free his body   but this defiance made Siwon desire more and more and he pushed Heechul 's chest to himself and bit  his  lips. Heechul moaned and grabbed Siwon's arm from pain but Siwon can't feel anything except Heechul 's soft and wet lips. He hustled himself to Heechul's body and suddenly both of them fell into the bed! With this event, Siwon's lips slip to Heechul's neck making Heechul screamed  "SIWON! !"

Wow his y voice made Siwon more overed…   so he kissed Heechul 's neck and whispered :”Again..say my name..”

But Heechul can’t move or say anything! He is scared and ashamed. Siwon's breath from delight, .   Heechul’s  neck  so hard, forcing Heechul to scream his name again!

Heechul moaned from pain :”Siwon please…!”

Siwon wants to swallow Heechul! He wants to taste his body!  

He continued kissing and    Heechul‘s neck! Heechul pushed  his lips, He can understand Siwon’s  heart revolting  and tried to now break that heart.

Siwon’s every movement got more lusty than before. He rent Heechul’s blouses in a wink, making him bare! Heechul  hold his breath! His crystal body made Siwon dumbstruck for a moment and suddenly he fall on Heechul’s body and start to his chest. Hechul closed his eyes and bit his own lips! Siwon continued kissing his silky skin till down on his smooth tummy! Heechul started breathing so fast. “Don’t..ah..I don’t want...wait!”

But Siwon only heared Heechul 's y breathing voice!! How unique and great and  unbelievably pleasurable! He plunged his hand into Heechul’s pajama but Heechul caught  his wrist:”No..not yet! It’s…too fast!”

Siwon sighed deeply :”Do you know what you’re wanting from me? This is the hardest work in the world …you think I can hold myself now?”

Heechul gasped faster than before :” I..I know but… I am ..not yet ready tonight…”

Siwon put his head on his pelvis :”Ok…I understand you…sorry if I get so far…your beauty makes me cheeky”

Heechul, still not ensure that Siwon consented such easily, whispered:”Thank you…”

By and by their breath came back to normal. Siwon laid on Heechul’s legs with his head on Heechul’s tummy.

Sudenly, Heehul felt something moved on his bare tummy and went to his navel! Something wet and hot! Was it…tears?: “Siwon..are you ..crying again?”

Siwon didn’t answer but his body started to shake. Yes he is crying.

Heechul rose his head but he could only see Siwon’s hair so he touched  it:”Why are you crying? Are you angry because I didn’t let you to….”

Siwon laughed and hugged his legs so tight :”No…of curse not…I…I’m only thinking… I don’t deserve you…you are so unique…your face…your body, your soul, your personality….your voice, your words…your mind  ..your everything is the best…and I am…nothing!”

Heechul was shocked :”Are you crying for this? Only because of this?”

Siwon rose his head and looked at Heechul’s sweet and sweaty face with his wet and lovely eyes:” If you can only see yourself through my eyes...you will understand me.”

 Heechul smiled :”I can see now…”

***

Years past …

One night Han invited Heechul  to dinner and one big question that’s been bothering Han for years came out his tongue :”Are you two…going to continue until…the end?”

Heechul joked:”I think he’ll never let me go...”

And when he saw Han’s serious eyes, he added: “Yes we two…want it and love it to go till the end! “ 

”Do you…love him?”

Heechul nodded :”Yes…and I feel I need him more than before!”

“Ok…I have something to tell you…and this is the reason I called you”

Heechul got upset:”What?”

Han put down his head:”I am..going…”

Heechul shocked:”Where?” 

”China..my land..I am leaveing sj…”

Heechul wanted to scream  :”But why? What happen?”

Han didn’t look at him:”Just…some company problems…you know…I had to ….I only..want you to hear it from me.”

Heechul can’t move as he hears those words.

“I should go.”

Han stood up and left Heechul in big shock.

Siwon who was waiting for him outside the restaurant asked Hangeng “Are your reason .for leaving..really…is  the company?”

Han just smiled:”You know my real reason better than me!…so…please promise me you’ll protect him and never let him go…”

Siwon hugged him:”I promise….”  

Amaneh Mohammadi (AmyWestern)