A/N : It's a double update! and sorry for the long wait!!! :D :D

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“Sometimes you weren't supposed to share pain. Sometimes it was best just to deal with it alone.”
― Sarah Addison Allen, The Sugar Queen

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His life is like cold night in the winter. Gloomy, steep and cold.

He never felt the warmth of sunshine in the summer or chill of air in the winter. His life is nothing but bitterness and agony, full with accusation and rejection.

He ever be a bright child once. He was smart, brave and happy kid like the others innocent children who live in a perfect family. He was like another child, pure and free, completely unaware about what kind of nightmare he had to face in the future. And that nightmare came in a form of the death of his mother, who was killed by his father.

In a blink eye the safe and happy small world where he live was gone, leaving him stood in a cold and foreign world alone, broken and defenceless. The father figure that always be his hero was turning into monster who took everything from him. His mother, his family, his happiness and even his life.

He never be the same person after that.

He cried until his tears was running dry, hoping that someday he’ll wake up and realize that this was only a dream. He wait..he wait and wait until he wake up to realize that he wait for nothing. And when the tears had stop flowing and hope had been fading away ,there’s only anger and bitterness that filling his heart, burning his body in hatred.

They did tried to helping. The peoples in the asylum. They tried to talk to him and listen his thought, but after a while, they started to give up to the angry little boy who swept away all the help that offered to him. They stopped to talk to him. They stopped to listen to him. They stop to care about him. Leaving him in another round of depression, alone.

Time goes by and he had growing to be an angry, cold teenager. He don’t know how himself turning to be like this, but he didn’t try to hold back it either. He was moved to one asylum to another, they all tried to heal his wound, they are tried to make him smile again, but they always asked something that he never able to do: forgetting.

 And with the time everyone start to gave up on his good side and only see him as a rebel angry teenager who had no hope. He didn’t show it yet, but they are believe that he will became to be a criminal like his father. He saw when one by one peoples start to avoiding him, giving him suspecting looks and whispers behind his back, telling him that he was dangerous. He was angry but he never denied it. Even as the time goes by, he started to believe it.

SUNGMIN POV

“Annyeong haseo,  Lee Sungmin nimnida! please take care of me well!” I greeted my new classmate in front of the class cheerfully, tried to put my best smile in my face.

 Silence.

I blinked at the students who look at me with bored looks, not even give me a smile or respond. I stood there awkwardly, intertwining my finger together, don’t really know what to do. The teacher sighed at the student’s cold behaviour and look at me, “Okay Lee Sungmin, please take a seat,” she said and pointing at the last desk in the corner of the class.

I shrugged and walked to my desk, take a seat there and tried to ignore the cold stare given by my new classmate. Suddenly a boy who sat in front of me turn his body and grinned, show me his gummy smile,

“just ignore us. We act cool for new student to scare you away, it’s a tradition,” he whispers to me then winking. I blink at the boy in front of me,

“and why the hell are you tell him? It’s our tradition and you screw it now,” the other boy who sat next to the gummy-smile boy hissed, give the gummy boy annoyed looks. He is a handsome boy with brunette hair that covering his forehead coolly. The gummy boy shrugged,

“He looks like he going to cry in a second,” he said, don’t sounded really care. I frowned, me?  crying? Definitely not!

“Hey! I’m not going to cry!” I protested. The gummy and the brunette boy turned their body to take a better look at me. I frowned and shifted uncomfortably under their stare. The gummy boy grinned, “Sorry, but you do look like you’re gonna burst in tears for a second. I’m Eunhyuk by the way,” he said loosely, offering me his hand. I felt annoyed with him for his statement, but his gummy smile and loose attitude made me felt comfortable with him,

“Lee Sungmin,” I said, shaking my hand with him rather coolly. I’m still annoyed tough.

“Sungmin? what should I call you? Sungminnie? Minnie? Min? Minimini? What do you think Hae?” he talk to himself before nudging the brunette boy beside him. The said boy glare at him, “Don’t call me Hae! And what’s with you? Are you even close to him? Why are you giving his pet name already?” the boy named Hae speak with stern cold voice that made me frowned. Are they enemy? But Eunhyuk seems really loose around the brunette even the later act really cold. Eunhyuk seems don’t care about Hae’s sharp tone. He raised his eyebrow before turned his head to me, shrugging,

“Just ignore him. He’s just jealous-

“I’m not Jealous!,” Hae exclaimed, thumping his fist on the table. The whole class look at their direction,

“any problem Donghae? Hyukjae?” he asked the two with cold tone,

“Seosangnim!~ how many time I told you not to call me Hyukjae! I’m Eunhyuk!” Eunhyuk whined to the teacher who gave him cold look while the students snickered quietly,

“Your name is Lee Hyukjae here!” he said, pointing the class journal,

“yes, but I will change it to Eunhyuk when I became a dancing star later!” he said rather too confidently. “well, you’re not a dancing star yet. So I’ll not call you in another name but Hyukjae” the teacher insisted, cutting off all Eunhyuk’s protest. Eunhyuk grumbling in his seat, “ing retarded person”

“I can hear you, Hyukjae. You got detention! Come to my office later!” the Teacher said like sung a song and start writing in the board, leaving Eunhyuk groaned in his seat. I poke Eunhyuk’s shoulder,

“you really wanted to be a dancer? That’s so cool!” I said to him when he drew his back to listen my whisper. Hearing my statement he immediately turn his head to smile widely to me,

“Thanks! Dancing is my life!” he said excitedly and grinned before turning to front again. the moment Eunhyuk answered my question, I saw Donghae steal a look to Eunhyuk, there’s something in his eyes that showing pain and disappointment, but the next second Donghae immediately shifted his gaze and buried his head on his textbook again. Pouted. I raise my eyebrow, wondering about Donghae’s weird behaviour before shrugged, it’s not like it was my business by the way.

I start to put my books out, trying to catch the lesson in this class. It must be less then 10 minutes  before we heard a knock on the door. I looked up to see a tall, slim boy standing in the doorframe. He is a pale boy with dark hair that covering his face perfectly, made him looks so cold and mysterious under his hair shade.

 “you’re late Mr Cho,” The teachers said coldly to the boy,

“I know,” the cold smooth voice was heard from the boy’s mouth before he walk to enter the class, leaving the teacher glaring at him. The boy walking to my direction and I immediately tensed up. He seems didn’t realize my presence until he stood in front of my desk, look at me with slight frown in his thick eyebrow.

“who are you?” he said with cold expressionless voice. His question was accusing, demanding made me don’t know how I should act , but it’s not the voice that made me felt so intimidated, it was his cold dark eyes that piercing into my soul, made all the system inside my brain seems to be turned off under his scary stare. I gulped, failed to let any sound out from my throat.

“he is Lee Sungmin, and he’ll gonna be your seatmate from now,” the teacher voice echoing trough the death silence class. I look at him timidly and immediately flinched when my eyes met with his dark one.  His eyes was remind me of ghost. Death and empty like a endless dark hole that pulling me into dark nightmare. I didn’t dare to look at him again until he move and seat next to me. I looked around the class who stole glance at us now and then before whispering to their friends. I was confused. Is this only the student’s prank to scare me away like Eunhyuk said? Is the boy next to me didn’t really cold person?

I stole a glance to my seatmate. He was not even paid attention to the class. He kept looking outside the window, his face was showing no expression.

What is he thinking?

The sunlight was shining trough the window and falling to his pale skin softly, his long thick eyelashes was glimmering under the sunlight, creating long shadow under his eyes to his high cheekbones. He has pointed nose and full lips that glued together forming a stern line in his face. He looks so handsome, but the coldness and darkness was spreading trough his body, made me shiver from the darkness aura that he brought.

Sensing my intense stare, Suddenly the boy turn his head to face me, made me gasped in surprise. His dead dark eyes was caught mine, made me lost my brain control once again,

“what do you want?” that smooth cold voice was heard from his lips, but I was unable to do anything but stare.

“I..I..”

 He look at me for a while, waiting for my answer, but sensing my paralyzed state, he decide to look outside again, broking the miserable eye contact with me. I sighed in relieve before look down to read my textbook, peeking him trough my bang that covering my eyes.

“Stop staring at me,” he warned and I immediately gasped and look away. Blushing.

I can hear faint whispers around the class, and as I look around I saw my classmate stealing glance toward me and the boy’s direction. I saw something worst than their indifferent and bored looks like when they saw me before. It was accusation, judgment and that stare not given for me, but for the boy next to me. I turn my head and steal glance toward the boy next to me.

I saw him clenching his jaw, made the sharp jaw line looks prominent under his pale skin. His expression is hard and undetermined, sharp and cold like huge ice mountain. I thought he also could sense the other’s stare but he didn’t even flinched a bit to take a look. I frowned and staring at my textbook, thinking.

Why my classmate look at him with that look?

Is he a bad person?

 what’s wrong with him?

 Why’s he so cold?

 Why’s he so indifferent?

***

I sat with Eunhyuk in Canteen. Everyone was giving cold stare everywhere but Eunhyuk told me they just acting and they’ll stop acting like jerk in a week, so I decide to ignore them and following Eunhyuk to canteen. There we sat with another students from the other class, they are Yesung and Ryeowook. Donghae was soon dragged by Ryeowook to our desk,

“so you don’t play cold card  like everyone?” Yesung asked Eunhyuk when we sat together in the desk, eating. Yesung is a very attractive boy with blonde hair and dark sharp eyes not to mention his husky y voice that heard so inviting. But the way he looking at me very intimidating me, like he was trying to piercing trough my mind with his eyes. Eunhyuk smirked to Yesung,

 “No. He’s too cute to resist,” he said and I immediately gasped and slapped his arm, embarrassed. “I’m not cute!” I protested. Yesung immediately broke into a small chuckle,

“Oh yes, you’re right. He’s too cute to resist,”. I blushed and glare at Yesung.

“hyung!~ you say I’m the cutest!” Ryeowook, the skinny cute boy whined.

“of course you are Wookie! You’re still the cutest thing in the world to me!” Yesung said playfully while pinching Ryewook’s cheeks then smiling dazzlingly to the smaller boy,

“yah! I tried to eat here! No cheesy acting in front of me!” Donghae protested, making face like he was puking. I raised my eyebrow when Ryeowook pouted and hit Donghae’s arm with annoyed looks. Realizing my looks Yesung immediately coughed,

“erm, I don’t know if you’re open minded person or not, but... I’m with Ryeowook is a couple,” he said formally. I immediately grinning,

“no it’s okay, my uncle is a gay too,” I said loosely, smiling when I saw Yesung and Ryeowook’s expression loosen. Eunhyuk suddenly asked,

“you’re a gay too?” he pointed out with his spoon. I gasped and widen my eyes,

“u-uh...N-no...I mean...I don’t know, I still don’t decide it,” I stammered and blushing in the end. I’m not used with that kind of straightforward question. Eunhyuk furrowing his eyebrow,

“what do you mean with you don’t know yet? who you usually to dates? Boy or girls?” he asked me again. I’m blushing again,

“actually I never dating anyone before,” I whispers. I speaking honest, even there are some girls and boys that coming to me in my previous school in China, I never date any of them.

“hell! No way!” Eunhyuk said in disbelieve tone, looking at me like I’m the biggest liar in the world, but I only looking at him with innocent looks,

“you can’t be as innocent as your looks,” Donghae murmured, looking at me like he tried to figure out any sin that could broke my innocent. I blinked at him,

“or maybe he is,” Yesung snickered.

“so..Minnie, you want to dating with me?” Eunhyuk said while smirking to me. I choked in my drink and coughed hardly. Yesung immediately patted my back to help me with drink and Ryeowook gave me a tissue. I thanks to them and look at Eunhyuk with wide eyes. he can’t be serious right? It’s haven’t even a day.

“so?” Eunhyuk asked me again with lazy eyes and a y smirk crossing his face made me blushing madly. that’s when Donghae immediately stand up, lifting his food tray,

“I’m full” he said coldly and walked away, leaving me look at him with crossed eyebrow,

“you’re so mature Hyukjae-

“Don’t call me Hyukjae!” Eunhyuk protested when Yesung commented on him sarcasticly. I look at him confusedly. The smirk and teasing face Eunhyuk made before had changed to be a pout and gloomy expression immediately when Donghae leave. Realizing my confused state Ryeowook smile warmly to me,

“guys, you made this little cutie confused here,” he said lightly, I glare at him with the word ‘little cutie’ but he just grinned to me innocently,

“oh, sorry Sungmin. It’s just Eunhyuk and Donghae’s cold war state after break up,” Yesung said to me and I immediately let out ‘ah’ sound. It made sense for Donghae’s cold behaviour before, he was maybe jealous with Eunhyuk’s flirting state with me,

“you’re trying to made him jealous,” I pointed out. Eunhyuk look at me and and smiled,

“yeah kinda,” he said faintly and immediately scowling after that,

“you want him back,” I said again and Eunhyuk immediately grunted,

“oh, they’re break up many times before, Sungmin. But this time maybe a little bit serious” Ryeowook explained to me, ignoring Eunhyuk’s glare,

“guys, can you stop talking about this? Talk about sunshine, unicorn, Barbie, anything..I don’t care..just don’t talk about this okay?” Eunhyuk asked and everyone seems to be agree. We were talking about different things from time to time, mostly Ryeowook was asking about my life in China. Yesung just talked about his turtle pet when suddenly I saw a figure entering the cafeteria, bringing a dark storm with his presence.

Unconsciously I put my fork in the table to take a better look at my seatmate who join with the queue in the cafeteria, that’s before anyone realizing his presence and walked away immediately with scared face. I frowned. He didn’t even look bothered by it, he just gave the woman his tray and sat in the corner of cafeteria alone, don’t even give damn to peoples that look at him with that looks again. all accusing, full with fears  and rejecting.

He looks so lonely.

 Sitting alone in the full cafeteria. Everyone is chatting with their friends, or at least sitting with other people, but he’s alone. His expression is calm like lake, but his eyes was the same like before. It was empty, death,

“who actually is he?” I asked my friends while still observing the boy silently.

“who?” I heard Yesung’s husky voices asked me,

“that boy who sitting alone...why everyone seems avoiding him?” I asked Yesung without even moved my gaze from the boy. Yesung immediately following my gaze to the boy,

“O-Oh...Cho Kyuhyun?” he asked me with low voice, even from his tone it seems like Yesung actually scared of him,

“he sitting with you in class,” Eunhyuk said, also looking at the boy in the corner. He seems brought dark cloud with him in cafeteria, because the happy chat before had unconsciously become quieter and changed into murmur after he came,

“yeah, why everyone seems afraid of him?”

“listen Sungmin, I know you sat with him. You better tried not to act friendly with him, avoid him as best as you can. Kept quiet all the time-

“why should I?”

“because Cho Kyuhyun is dangerous, especially for you. Don’t come too close with him,” Yesung said to me. I frowned at the order,

“he’s dangerous? But he doesn’t seems like...”

I lost my words in the last word...

What he doesn’t seems like...?

What he seems like...?

I look at Cho Kyuhyun who sat alone, bringing the whole thunder storm and dark clouds with him. He’s like the definition of emo. Dark, mysterious and lonely....

Lonely.....

I tried to figure out any expression that flashed in his face but there was none. His face is still as calm as lake, freezing like ice, dark as night. But his eyes was telling me everything. Agony, sadness and loneliness. It seems I could see sunset in his eyes, sunset like when someone had decide to leave all his hope and live without living his soul...

He does seems dangerous. He made me felt intimidated, scared but also curious at the same time. He made me wondering, questioning, assuming and my curiosity had builded high in each second like a itchy feeling that need to be scratched. So instead of obeying Yesung’s warn I stood up with my tray, my eyes glued to the lonely boy in the corner of the cafeteria,

“Sungmin? Where are you going?” I heard Eunhyuk asked me. I look at him and smiled,

“I will go to Kyuhyun’s place,” I said. Ryeowook, Yesung and Eunhyuk immediately gasped and widening their eyes like I’m the most crazy person in the world,

“what the-do you hear what Yesung hyung said before?! He is dangerous!” Eunhyuk hissed to me between his gritted teeth,

“Sungmin, he’s not like someone else you could approach, please sit down Sungmin. Don’t do stupid things on your first day,” Yesung also plead to me, tugging my sleeve to sit down, I look at them stubbornly. Have I say I’m a stubborn boy?

“no, I will just sat with him and have a little talk...he sems...lonely,”

“goddammit Sungmin! I swear I’m gonna....I’m gonna...ignore you forever if you approaching him-

“guys, it’s not like he will kill me, It’s a cafeteria. And I’ll just have a little talk with him,” I protested, furrowing my eyebrow,

“Sungmin-

“I’ll be back soon,” I said cutting off all their arguments and heading to Cho Kyuhyun’s table, ignoring all the desperate call from my friends. I must be really crazy, approaching Cho Kyuhyun felt like sailing with rubber boat in a thunder storm. My heartbeat was getting more and more erratic in each step I took to approach him. I gripped my food tray tightly, air getting more and more colder in each second, but I don’t let them stop my pace to him.

What will he say to me?

Is he going to hurt me?

Will he hate me?

Is he really .....dangerous?

:D :D :D