Junho's POV

"... Like three times a week," the girl in front of me drones on as I gulp my drink, not paying any attention, as she talks. "But it's totally hot in here right?"

"Hm," I mutter, barely noticing as she reaches out, placing a hand casually on my arm.

"But this song," she grabs my hand, but I slip out of her grip almost subconsciously.

"They need a new DJ," I smile, finally noting her attempts as she pushes closer to me.

"Oh my!" she hits my arm softly, giggling like an idiot as if I said something even marginally funny, squeezing my arm. "Wah... Oppa is strong... do you work out?"

"I'm a dancer," I'm not really listening again. I know her, but not well. She's just some girl from school who was in our group when we decided to go clubbing.

"Oooh," she giggles, placing her hands on my shoulders with a smirk. "Wanna show me some moves?"

I finally look up to see the girl I've ben with since I got away from the guys. She's dressed in a black short dress, clad in make up and jewelry. I look her up and down in interest; she's my age if not older, and she looks good. She's my type. And she's so obviously flirting with me. So what the heck is wrong with me?

I snap out of it as she grins, my arm lacing round her waist.

"Oppa~ Omo, brave I-"

With a smirk I finally manage to shut her up, nuzzling her neck as she pulls closer.

"Let me buy you a drink," I assert, though she seems only too eager.

Four rounds later, her lips land on mine before I know what's happening and I frown, but decide to go with it, changing our position so I'm in front. Not even the initial rush is there as she pushes up to me, for absolutely no reason. I try, I really do; but her intoxicating scent and eagerness isn't even enough. I become more conscious, and halt with a groan of disgust.

What am I doing?

Pulling away from the girl who was previously attached to my lips, I groan in frustration as I look at her.

Girls are every where, all over me all night. I'm trying, just like I have been for weeks now, but it's always the same. The same as it has been since I met her. It's the weekend after the whole Taecyeon and Yoonah drama. Taec's family just got back, Wooyoung's round Jieun's, - since her families away - God knows where Khun is, through probably some where with Qian. It's too late for him to protest his innocence, in my opinion. We already got the main idea. Absent boyfriend versus present Nichkhun. Chansung and Jun are both rehearsing for the showcase. Of course, Jun is with Chaerin, but not like the others. I saw them together the other day, and they were fighting like cat and dog. No double meaning there.

So that left me. Many a moon after Wooyoungs announcement. He would usually accompany me to such places, but not any more. I can't say I don't miss our times. 

Instead, I met up with a group from school, and here we are.

"We, we should get out of here," she grabs my hand and attempts to lead me, stumbling and obviously tipsy, but I just pull away. She stumbles again, almost heading nose first for a chair.

With a sigh, I grab her, leading her away and quickly locating her friends before depositing her in their booth. The girls swoon, but I turn away. I'm done with that.

"W-wae?" she pulls me back with a hiccup.

"No reason... I need some air," I say, trying to be polite. Which is a little hypocritical, yes I know.  I leave the girl, who's name I don't know, and look around. Kwon's drinking, along with Jinwoon and a few girls. Seulong's dancing with some girl. They seem to be having a ball. As I should be... Yes, should.

My head swells as I look around. Everything's off. It has been since I got here. The music's too loud, the lights are too bright, the drinks too bitter; it's all wrong.

I sigh, as I leave them to it, walking out the back entrance to an empty street, away from the booming speakers and flashing lights. I inhale the cold nights air, revelling in the darkness as my head stops pounding, but it isn't long before I begin pacing up and down a small stretch of the road.

Yes, the music's wrong.

Yes, the flaring strobe lights are wrong.

Yes, even the drinks are wrong.

But, most of all...

The girl is wrong. 

How can that be? I sigh, kicking a stray pebble into the road, before leaning a hand on the wooden fence.

The game used to be my life. I love partying, drinking, the thrill of a new girl every week, the high of the mood, the excitement of new experiences. 

But now, whoever I'm with, it's the same boring every time. As if that isn't enough, guess who pops into my mind every time I'm around a girl? Whoes face appears every single time I kiss a girl?

Why? I've been with so many girls, I've loved every second of it. Different ages, races, types. But now, all I can think about is a natural, straight up girl, with a sweet personality. That's right...

Kim So Eun. 

No one's kiss, out of the many I've had can even compare to that single sweet kiss. It doesn't make sense, but I know what I want.

I want Soeun. I want her right now. But I can't have her.

Unable to hold in my frustration any more, I punch the wooden fence, and it shudders under my force with a grunt. It doesn't get rid of my frustration, though admittedly it does feel good. 

I'm just about to attack the fence again as my phone goes off, breaking my rampage. Snapping out of it, I sigh, taking it out of my pocket and checking the callers ID before answering. 

"Yo, Khun."

"Hey, where are you?" 

Sighing as I hear his question, I look around. 

"Some where."

The phone beeps as he hangs up, and I take it away from my ear, frowning at the screen.

"What was that about?" I mutter.

"Junho!" I turn toward the empty road, as I hear a familiar voice.

"... Nichkhun?" 

He strides over, finally getting my attention. "Had a feeling you'd be here. Since you weren't inside. I just came the long way."

I stare at him for a second, before dropping it with a shrug, not caring enough to ask how he knew.

"You found me then. Weren't you with Qian?"

He raises an eyebrow at my question.

"Have you seen the time?" he asks. I glance down at my phone, still in my hand.

1:07am.

"Oh," I shrug, still not caring enough.

Khun sighs as he reads my expression.

"What's going on?"

What a question... 

Normally I'd just laugh it off; as I've been doing for weeks. But somehow, due to a mix of the alcohol and the general misery, I sigh.

"Not sure myself."

He looks at me a second, acknowledging my surrender, before nodding and heading inside the club. I follow him in, too tired to question. He moves past the main section, heading to a quieter section of the club, ordering a few drinks. He brings the over and takes a seat, indicating to the seat opposite him. Sighing, I sit down, facing him questioningly.

"Okay," he begins, relaxing back, ignoring the glances that the few girls here are giving him. "I'm gonna cut the crap, so you should too. The girls, the parties, the clubs. It's not normal, even for you."

"It is normal. That's the problem."

He raises an eyebrow as I continue.

"It's normal for me, and yet I feel out of place. It's not like it's something new, I've always been like this. Since I was old enough to have hormones. But now, out of now where, I'm not sure any more. And , it's confusing." I watch him as I answer, trying to see if he knows more then he's letting on. Not that I would know where he go it from; he just has a way of knowing these things. But not this time. He doesn't know about Soeun.

He takes a few seconds to answer.

"Well, I'm no expert, but it sounds like your growing up. Don't you think maybe yo