“Byunghun, are you sure you’re fine?”

I simply ignored all of them. Their questions, their curiosity, their concern.

“Guess not..”

Do they not understand? Does no one understand? Asking a billion questions won’t help him!

I abruptly grabbed my cap from the table top of the picnic table we were all sitting at. A picnic at a time like this, thank you Dongwoo for your tries, but no.

“I have to go guys. Thanks though.”

As I pulled one leg out from under the table followed by the other, Sunggyu grabbed my arm and briefly whispered in my ear. I looked up and stared back at him, as if my eyes were speaking on their own. I pulled away and nodded, making my way down the path away from where we were all gathered.

We were at the park, the very same park where it all happened. I tried to stroll as casually as I could but it didn’t go quite as planned. Walking pass the scene of the incident, memories of the time flashed back. Never have I imagined that Chanhee would ever go through that kind of pain even with the whole school bullying him. For all I know, he might be abused out of school too.

What have I done?

--

“Yes, thank you.”

After speaking with the receptionist with a new found fact where the location of Chanhee’s room was, I headed towards the said room.

The corridors were just blinding. The white walls simply radiated. They seemed endless. It felt as if I would never reach Chanhee’s room, number 1412, the fourth from the very end of the hall.

The last step was heavy as I was then facing the cold, silent door. I reached for the handle, anxious inside. I didn’t want to know Chanhee’s condition. I didn’t want to see how he looked like. I didn’t want to find out how he got that way. Deep breathes were all that could help me at the moment. I pushed down onto the metal handle. The door swung open and I took a step inside, looking around and scanning the room.

This seems somewhat familiar.

I recalled back to the time when I visited Chanhee at the school infirmary. I let out a small chuckle, remembering how I lied to him about detention and asked him to sign my chicken paper – which I just noticed a few days after the whole incident. How embarrassing.. I thought.

My legs scurried to his right side even though I didn’t want to see how bad he looked. I collapsed on a chair next to his bed, clutching his hand that wasn’t connected to the IV drip. Wires were connected onto the whole length of both his arms to monitor his heart rate and what not. I don’t know what other uses they have. I’m not a doctor! And I don’t like watching any American TV series.

Now back to the situation at hand. I adjusted the seat and pulled it closer towards the bed, gripping tighter on the frail hand in mine. I watched as Chanhee’s chest rose and fell at a calm pace. At least I knew he was alive. He wore an oxygen mask over his mouth. I wished I could just kiss him and that would wake him up. If only it was that simple.

“No, no take those to room 1312. I’ll be over to check on the patient later.”

I was startled to suddenly hear someone else’s voice. A doctor? I didn’t want to but I had to let go of Chanhee’s cold hand, giving it a kiss before doing so. I settled his arm at his side and covered it with the futon.

“Oh? I’m sorry, who are you?” A tall and sleek looking man wearing a white doctor’s coat appeared from behind the curtain which closed off the bed area from the rest of the room.

“I-I’m.. his school friend. Lee Byunghun.”

Hah, Friend? Not even close.

“Ah, I see. You’re not related?”

“No, sir.” I shook my head.

The doctor silently nodded. He then did a hand gesture that called me next to his side at the baseboard of Chanhee’s bed. The doctors’ clipboard that he was holding was tossed onto the table right next to him.

“Do you know what’s wrong with him?” He pointed towards the rising and falling chest on the bed with his pen. He looked questioningly at me, waiting for the answer.

“Uhm.. not really.” The reply was as good as a mere mumble.

“Would you like to know?” The man in the coat raised an eyebrow.

“Not really.” I stifled out a chuckle at the same sounding answer I had mumbled twice. This is so uncool of me. So uncool.

The doctor laughed at me for my silly answers. He patted my head and started to speak, “At least know the name of the guy that’s treating your friend here.”

“Okay, okay. What’s your name, doc?”

He opened his mouth, the words at the tip of his tongue when a male nurse with, what I noticed, very thick lips came barging into the room.

“Doctor! We need you in room 1312. Something has gone wrong with the patient’s breathing!”

He was panting heavily. I assumed he ran the whole way, using the emergency stairs to boot. The doctor squeezed my shoulder and started for the door.

“I’ll tell you later.”

I glanced towards Chanhee and noticed that he left his clipboard on the table. I was about to call him but was gone through the door along with the nurse.

Meh. He can get it back later.

I walked towards the table and tilted my head to get a better view of what was written on the sheet of paper clipped to the board. Skimming through it, I saw unwanted words written in awful handwriting that it could barely be made out.

Memory loss?

~*~