Chapter 2/3

A green arrow lightened up and a ‘pip’ sound indicated that it was fine to pass the bar. Youngjae tucked his subway card in his pocket and followed the blue lines down the stairs.

“Are you sure this is the right side?” Daehyun asked as his head turned in every direction searching for the board over all the subway lines.

Youngjae raised his brow at the disorientated boy, “No, I’m not. I’ve only been riding this root minimum two times a day for the last ten years,” he said sarcastically.

“Hey, I’m new here.” Daehyun tilted his head to the side, “don’t judge me.”

“You have been living here for more than two months; surely you know how to get home?”

“Of course I do,” Daehyun exasperated. “I just go the opposite way sometimes,” he mumbled.

A snippet of a cheery melody went through the speakers and soon after the train approached them. Youngjae sat down on the metal seats and he was surprised to see Daehyun take the seat next to him.

“What’s your name?”

It took a moment for Youngjae to process the question; he found it a strange thing to ask as they were classmates, after all. “What do they call me?” he asked back after a moment and caused Daehyun to raise a brow questioningly. “We have been in the same class for more than two months, if you don’t know my real name then you only know me by the nicknames I’ve been given by all the other students.” He explained.

There was a hint of amusement in Daehyun’s eyes as he said: “I can see that you live up to your name as ‘the brain’ of our year. As for ‘the mood-killer’ and ‘the weirdo’ I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.”

Youngjae just looked away and scoffed, “Don’t count on it.”

Then silence covered their entire ride home and once at their station, they immediately went in opposite directions to different exits.

Youngjae let out a sigh as he went up the stairs and thought of how strange the day has been. The real Jung Daehyun was completely the opposite to the one they knew in school and they have talked…a lot. He decided shortly afterwards that it was nothing worth to ponder on and waved all thoughts of his classmate away in an irritated manner. He was sure that the real Daehyun had not been meant for anyone to see, and if it was, he was certain that he would be the last person on earth to see that side of Busan boy again.

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Youngjae to his satisfaction noticed that he was right as he saw Daehyun smile all politely to the girls surrounding him the next day in school. He wondered if Daehyun had some sort of an on/off button, because the difference in the two characters he had seen was so immense that he found it hard to believe that they were of the same individual.

He tried to shrug it all off, but his ears still caught up the giggles and Daehyun’s honey covered ‘Thank you’s and ‘Yes, I’ll eat it well’s. He felt as if he knew a secret, and maybe he did.

However, if that was the case, then why didn’t Daehyun ask him to keep it?

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Fingers pressed furiously on the buttons in an intricate pattern. Youngjae had his headphones on and blocked away any sound from the surrounding. His eyes travelled over the screen, scanning for a specific sword he had been looking for during the last quarter of an hour. Suddenly a reaper jumped out of the bushes and slashed his hero:

GAME OVER

Youngjae cursed silently, took off his headphones and threw them on the floor.

“You .” Someone unexpectedly said behind him, causing him to jump a feet in the air. Youngjae tried to turn around and stand up at the same time. However in some clumsy way, his legs had managed to twist round each other and as a result, he ended up against the floor and was looking up at a smirking Jung Daehyun.

“Tsk, how gracious,” he mocked.

Youngjae’s eyes narrowed at Daehyun. “What are you doing here? And who let you inside?” his tone was cold, but he didn’t care.

“Your mother, of course.” Youngjae had thought that he would never see that grin or hear that accent from Daehyun again, and apparently, he was wrong. “As for what I’m doing here, well, I was bored.”

The fallen boy stood up and straightened himself so that they were at eye-level. He raised a questioning brow, “So you came here?” he scoffed. “Go to find your friends if you’re bored.”

He stared incredulously as Daehyun dropped his bag on the floor and flopped down beside it. “I don’t have any,” he said simply and reached for the controller Youngjae had just thrown aside. The tv screen flashed and the game started were it last left off. “I don’t really have any guy friends and the girls are…well, girls.”

Youngjae wondered how a popular guy like Daehyun who always seemed to be at the center could feel like he had nobody. “Then go home,” he muttered impatiently.

“Can’t.” he said, eyes focused on the game. “My parents are working so my brother has his girlfriend over and he wants me out of the way for a while.”

“Well, I don’t want you here.” Youngjae crossed his arms over his chest, “It’s not like we are friends and you don’t even know my name.”

“Do you think I’m stupid?” Daehyun snorted, “I looked it up, of course. Yoo Youngjae, right? How do you think I found your address?” Daehyun made a grimace as his guy got beaten; he cursed and pressed the buttons furiously to fight back. “Besides I already agreed to stay for dinner,” he looked up at Youngjae hastily before his gaze fell back on the screen. “Your mother invited me.”

Youngjae closed his eyes and let out a defeated sigh. ‘Of course, she did,’ he thought. He could see it before him, how his mother gradually succumbed to Daehyun’s charms.

“Yah,” Daehyun started, “I’m thirsty, go and get me something.”

“Are you kidding me?” Youngjae hissed. “No.”

“I’m the guest!” he whined.

“A self-invited one, I might add.”

Daehyun pause the game and put down the controller, “Why are you being so difficult!?” his Busan accent became more apparent as he raised his voice.

Youngjae looked at the other in confusion, “Why do you speak in an accent now and not in the classroom?”

Daehyun crossed his arms over his chest, “During school hours I have an image to keep,” he said a-matter-of-factly.

“Image? Then why drop it now?” Youngjae questioned, and then he recalled the day he first talked to Daehyun and realization hit him. “Ah, I get it. This is the real you and since you can’t be yourself in school and feel comfortable; you come over here, because I’ve already seen you like this. But…” he made a short pause, “since you still have an image to keep, the fact that you are in my house now has to remain a secret because I’m…well…me. Right?”

Daehyun almost looked amazed, “Woah, you are actually kind of smart.”

“What makes you think that I won’t just run around and scream that ‘Jung Daehyun is a crazy country boy’?”

“You wouldn’t,” Daehyun simply answered.

Youngjae was taken aback by the instant reply, though he made sure that his face remained neutral. “You don’t know me.”

Daehyun tilted his head to one side, “at least I know that much.” He said, and then resumed to the game. “I know your name, I know where you live. And now I even know your horrible taste in wallpaper. That alone seems to be much more than what other students know about you, right?”

The silence that followed felt like an extra confirmation to what they both knew was true.

“Now, get me some strawberry milk, I’m thirsty,” Daehyun said.

To which Youngjae only rolled his eyes at.

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They never talked in school, though after school Daehyun often came over to Youngjae’s house. His mother had grown much attached to the country boy and always welcomed him with opened arms. One could not say the same about Youngjae though, he did not push Daehyun away, but he did not welcome him either. It was as if he was still grasping the concept of ‘someone trying to know him’. He wouldn’t call them friends, because they definitely weren’t. Maybe they should be called non-friends-yet-friends or vice versa. Youngjae wondered if he should feel bothered by the scenario that he was sort of a secret…well…something to Daehyun. Though the moment he established that he was used to not having people around him, he decided to drop all those thoughts. After all, one more or less shouldn’t matter.

“Aigoo, Daehyunie is here again?” his mother exclaimed as she let him through the front door. Youngjae stood on the steps and watched as they exchanged their greetings. “Are you staying for dinner? What would you like to eat?” she asked cheerfully.

Daehyun smiled broadly at Youngjae’s mother. “Anything is fine, really. Thank you for having me,” he said politely and bowed.

“Why don’t you ever ask me what I want to eat?” Youngjae muttered from where he stood.

His mother turned to him as she placed her hands on her hips. “Because my so called son is not as lovable!” she exclaimed

“What’s the point? I’m your son; you are supposed to love me unconditionally anyway.” Youngjae said with a raised eyebrow.

She turned to Daehyun again and patted him on the cheek: “It must be hard on you, being friends with him,” she said between fake sniffles.

Youngjae rolled his eyes at the scene. “Mom…” he started.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she said and turned to walk to the kitchen. “I’ll just leave the two of you and continue to brood on why my son is not more of a charmer.”

“Aish, that’s because you didn’t give me a face like his!” he raised his voice to make sure that his mother heard him. He then noticed that Daehyun was looking at him with amusement in his eyes. Youngjae just shrugged his shoulders and turned to walk up the stairs to his room.

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Daehyun entered the room after Youngjae and closed the door after him. “It is somewhat fun to watch, you and your mom, I mean.”

“Your brother has his girlfriend over again?” Youngjae asked as he put away his homework.

Daehyun made a face, “Yeah.”

“Why don’t they just…I don’t know, go to a DVD-room?”

“What’s a DVD-room?” Daehyun asked.

Youngjae felt his cheeks reddened and cursed silently at his own mouth. What Daehyun’s brother does has absolutely nothing to do with him. “Eh, it’s a room you hire cheaply to watch DVDs.”

There was a furrow between Daehyun’s eyebrows. “Why would someone hire a room to watch DVDs?” he asked in confusion. “Why not just watch it…oh” he chuckled as he figured out the answer to his own question. “Because you can bring your girlfriend there and it’s cheaper than a hotel.” He then turned to Youngjae with eyes widened in disbelief, “You have gone to one before! That’s why you know this!” he exclaimed.

Youngjae jumped on the spot and tried to hush the other, “Of course I haven’t, you stupid bastard!” which was the truth, however, that did not keep his face from burning. “It’s like common knowledge, everyone knows it,” his hand made a dramatic gesture in the air.

Daehyun was now sitting on Youngjae’s bed, his back leaning against the wall. “So, have you done it?”

Youngjae groaned mentally, wondering just why they were discussing this. “Done what?” he tried to play clueless and stocked away some textbooks.

Though the smirk on Daehyun’s lips indicated that he had failed rather miserably, “Oh quit it, you know exactly what I meant.”

“Why are we discussing this?” Youngjae glared at the other boy who simply shrugged.

“That’s normal for boys at our age, right?” Daehyun then chuckled, “You are blushing, how cute.”

“Oh, shut up,” Youngjae hissed and went over to his Playstation 3. He opened a random case and put the game into the console.

“Come on, no need to be embarrassed, Youngjae,” he cooed. “Tell me.”

“Stop asking!” Youngkae snapped, clearly uncomfortable with the whole situation.

“But I want to know.” Daehyun continued stubbornly. “Your reaction made me curious,” he grinned.

The truth was that Youngjae had never really thought about the subject. He knew that many boys liked to talk about girls and their experiences; however he had never really been attracted to any girl or even thought of getting a girlfriend. Maybe he just hadn’t found the right person yet or he was too young. But right now, he just…didn’t care.

He sighed audibly, “No, I haven’t,” he eventually said. Then he looked at Daehyun, “I take it that you have?” he considered the school's Wonbin’s popularity with the ladies.

Daehyun rested his head on his folded hands. “Actually no, and I see no point in rushing it either, “ he said and marked termination of the discussion. He then suddenly got off the bed to sit beside Youngjae on the floor. “Yah, Yoo Youngjae, why do you only have one controller? Don’t you know that you should at least have two!? Aish, so stupid.” Daehyun muttered and snatched the controller from Youngjae’s hands.

For the whole evening and several evenings after that, Youngjae and Daehyun bickered over characters and possessions. Sometimes they fought over a moment of control and insults were thrown at each other like ammunitions during war.  

Though that only made them seem more like real friends, and even if Youngjae would never ever admit it out loud in front of Daehyun…it felt somewhat nice.

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“Yah, when will it be my turn? Just die already!” Youngjae hissed in pain when he felt the kick on his shin. He pause the game and turned abruptly to the boy had now taken up the habit of kicking him once in a while.

“You just had your turn! And stop hurting me!” Youngjae hissed in annoyance.

Daehyun aimed another kick at Youngjae, who fortunately barely dodged it. “I told you already! Buy another controller! Aish, how can two play a game with only one?”

Youngjae just rolled his eyes at the other boy, “And I told you that I won’t. So shut up now.”

Daehyun huffed in disbelief, “I don’t even know why I’m friends with you.”

“Who said that we are friends?” Youngjae snapped back, his eyes now back on the game.

Suddenly his field of vision was interrupted by a full grown teenage boy. Daehyun had swiftly thrown himself over Youngjae’s stretched out legs and was now straddling him.

“What are you doing? Move!” he tried to push the country boy aside, but to his frustration noted that he was weaker than the other.

Daehyun smirked down at Youngjae, “Maybe you should work out more,” he said teasingly.

Youngjae just scoffed in response.

With a raised hand, palm turned upwards, Daehyun asked for the controller: “My turn,” with the grin still on his lips.

“Forget it,” Youngjae retorted, which might not have been the smartest move, because seconds later Jung Daehyun had him pinned to the wooden floor. The Busan country boy held no mercy and alternated between tickles and pinching his prey, he was determined to get his will through.

Youngjae struggled immensely between the groans and cries. In the end, there was nothing he could do but to raise a white flag. “Okay! Fine, fine! Have it your way, bastard!”

Daehyun was bent over Youngjae with his hands pushing against the floor on either side of Youngjae’s head. He looked down at the panting boy beneath him and flashed a satisfied grin. “Congratulations for making another wise decision in life.”

The corners of Youngjae’s lips twitched, despite having been manhandled by the other boy, he could not stop the laugh that escaped his mouth. “You’re crazy,” his chuckles demolished any malice the phrase could have held. When he looked up, he saw Daehyun staring down at him. He wasn’t grinning anymore; instead there was a genuine smile.

The closeness of their position suddenly hit Youngjae, and made him look away and squirm uncomfortably. It was a little bit too close for comfort, only inches of air separating their faces. “Ey, get off now would you?” he said and wondered why his face was starting to burn up.

Daehyun hurriedly swung to the side to let Youngjae get up from the floor. He grabbed the controller and seated himself in front of the television. Youngjae sat beside him and silently watched as the hero’s enemies got killed one by one in the game. Then when Daehyun pause the game to stretch his arms, Youngjae asked the thing he had been pondering on for a while now. “Isn’t it tiring?” he started. “To be the ‘you’ in school and the ‘you’ after, isn’t it tiring?”

Daehyun’s hands with the controller dropped to his lap, “I guess,” he said after a moment and shrugged.

“Then why do you even bother?” Youngjae continued to ask as he studied Daehyun’s side profile.

Daehyun seemed to consider the question, his eyes blinked frequently and his forehead furrowed slightly. “I guess I want to fit in,” he started. “I’m new here. To me, someone from the country, Seoul seems like a scary place. I don’t want people to ridicule me because of my accent…or for being me.” He shrugged his shoulders again, “and I guess, I somewhat like the feeling of being popular.”

“The real you,” Youngjae started carefully, “what makes you think that the real you would be treated badly?”

Daehyun’s raised a brow at the question. “Oh, please. I have heard enough stories about you Seoul people.”

Now it was Youngjae’s turn to shrug, he bent forward and took the controller from Daehyun’s hand. “But you haven’t really given them a chance, have you? Shouldn’t you give people a chance to know the real you before you start judging them? Then it would seem…I don’t know, less unfair.”

Youngjae’s words processed into Daehyun’s mind and he eventually scoffed: “Then what about you?”

“Our cases are different. I have tried and I have always put myself out there, and if they don’t want to know me, if they don’t want to see me,” he shrugged, “then there is nothing I can do about it. I don’t want to change who I am just to fit in, to satisfy everyone else. To me, it seemed like I won a battle, even if I have to bear the consequences.” He stopped for a few seconds in order to consider his words carefully. “But you, it seems like you changed even before they asked you to, like you lost the battle even before it began.” Youngjae took a deep breath, “I’m saying this because…well, I find you crazy but I don’t think you should hide who you are…you shouldn’t need to.”

There was a long silence between them after that, though it ended the moment Daehyun’s face broke into a smile, “Does this mean that you care about me?”

Youngjae was taken aback by the question but quickly recovered and snorted at the dark-haired boy, “Now, I wouldn’t go that far.”

“Does this mean that we are friends?” Daehyun’s smile held a hint of amusement.

“As if.” Youngjae retorted and pushed a button to resume the game. Daehyun chuckled, because he could tell by the tone of Youngjae’s voice that he meant otherwise.

“I see you,” Daehyun said softly after another moment of silence.

Youngjae cast him a quick glance, before he turned back to his game. The words warmed his chest, but he was determined not to let the other have the satisfaction of knowing it.

‘I know.’

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It all happened in the cafeteria. The school’s cafeteria was filled with students during lunch break; therefore there was nothing out of the ordinary with it reaching new heights in noise-level. However today, everyone’s attention seemed to be on one single boy. A dark-haired boy, with large eyes and full lips, who often made the girls faint with his honey vocals. Though today, of course he still has dark hair, large eyes and full lips, but his tone was somewhat deeper and the words were spoken in an accent no one ever heard from him before.

All the girls looked at each other in confusion; their prince charming was not the typical quiet and dreamy person they used to know, but a talkative country boy with a heavy Busan dialect who was rather loud and in-your-face in every topic discussed round the table. They all gaped at him.

“What!?” he asked, after taking in all their expressions.

“Oppa, why are you like this?” Haru spoke, clearly the only one brave enough to ask. “Why are you talking like that?”

He simply shrugged and took another bite from his meal. “Because this is who I am and this is how I talk.” He eyes narrowed at everyone round the table, “You’ve got a problem with it?”

They all glanced at one another, contemplating the sudden change in their favorite boy. Daehyun continued to eat his meal without looking up, and then he could hear a loud whisper: “Woah, he sounds so y with his accent.”

He nearly choked on his food.

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The door to Youngjae’s room flew open while he was sitting on the floor reading a music magazine and the sight before him made him roll his eyes in annoyance. “Oh please, don’t mind me. I mean, I don’t value my privacy at all, so just go ahead and break my door as you wish,” he muttered.

Daehyun flopped down next to Youngjae. “Oh, shut up.” He stretched his legs before him and leant his back on the side of Youngjae’s bed; he let out a content sigh and said: “I feel so much lighter.”

“Why, you lost weight?” Youngjae asked distantly, not taking his eyes off the magazine.

The comment earned him a hit in the head and made him hiss in pain. “Don’t be stupid.” Youngjae rubbed his head and sent Daehyun a glare before he turned back to his magazine. “Yah, stop ignoring me, it’s rude.”

“I heard that your nickname changed from ‘Wonbin look-alike’ to ‘Busan’s Wonbin’,” he said, eyes still focused on his reading.

“Yeah, it did.” Daehyun closed his eyes for a moment then opened them again, his head turned slightly to catch the side-profile of Youngjae. “Ey, Youngjae-ah…”

“Um,” Youngjae waited for Daehyun to continue, however nothing followed. So he looked up from his magazine and found Daehyun staring at him. Youngjae felt somewhat dizzy as if he was drawn into dark and intense orbs.

“Thank you,” Daehyun said and smiled softly.

They were staring at each other and Youngjae could not help but to return the smile. “You’re welcome.”

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Youngjae happily unwrapped the packaging and carefully unwired the controller. Daehyun hadn’t been over for the last couple of days, but Youngjae had rushed to the store after school today anyway just in case the temperamental Busan boy decided to show up. He plugged it in and smiled contently to himself. Now, there would be no more yanking or fighting for the controller and they could actually play a game together.

When the clock on his bedside table showed 21:18, Youngjae knew for certain that Daehyun would not come by. He could not help but feel a little bit disappointed, but he quickly pushed those feelings away. Why would he feel disappointed…there was no reason for him to be…certainly no reason at all.

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Youngjae rested his head between his arms over the school bench. He could not help but think that the last few days had felt sort of out of place. His head snapped up as the familiar Busan dialect reached his ears and caught Jung Daehyun walking though the door surrounded by his classmates. Youngjae’s eyes blinked at the scene as he swallowed a non-existent lump down his throat. Ever since Daehyun’s outburst in the cafeteria he had gotten even more popular. People found his accent interesting and now that they all knew he had flaws even the male students flocked around him. They all want to be his friend.

While sinking back into his chair, Youngjae continued to look over at the newly arrived group. He listened to their cheery laughter and felt a tight knot in his stomach. Daehyun chatted away with Moon Jongup a boy in the class famous for his athletic skills.

He felt weird

He felt as if he had been thrown away

He felt alone

Youngjae tore his eyes away from the scene and instead looked out of the window. He tried with all his might to ignore the sudden sadness that washed over him.

‘I guess that between karaoke-sessions, baseball-games and study-groups at the nearby café, there was simply no time left for me. Since he can now be himself in school, I guess I’ve become useless…’

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It was during lunch break when Youngjae saw Daehyun rush up to the school’s rooftop. Then for some odd reason he decided to follow. He looked through the small window on the door to the rooftop and found Daehyun sitting on the ground, having lunch with a few seniors. Youngjae immediately recognized them, well, who wouldn’t…Bang Yongguk and Kim Himchan were the most popular students of the whole school. Known to be trainees under TS entertainment, they were soon-to-be idols and already had a large number of fans over the internet.

Youngjae did not know what took over him, but suddenly he found himself pushing the door open. His feet seemed to live a life of their own as they made their way towards the group. None of them seemed to notice him and when close enough he was able to catch some snippets of their conversation:

“Yah, Daehyunie, the most important thing is that you have to be careful when choosing who to hang out with. Some people are just a big no no. They might destroy you…you know socially,” Kim Himchan said, as he munched on his baguette and then he looked up. “For instance, weird outcasts like him.”

Daehyun turned his head in the direction Himchan had gestured at and his eyes widened in surprise to find Youngjae standing there.

Youngjae couldn’t stop the words that passed through his mouth: “Daehyun, want to come over today?” Maybe it was because he needed some confirmation that they did have some connection, a friend- or non-friendship whatsoever. Maybe it was because he wanted to prove himself wrong, that he had not been thrown away. Maybe it was because he wanted to feel needed, to be needed by someone else. Or that he simply wanted to hold onto his one and only friend…

“This is your friend?” Bang Yongguk asked Daehyun in the deep tone that landed him a spot in TS.

Daehyun looked slightly panicked as his eyes darted back and forth between Youngjae and his seniors. “I…”

“Daehyun, I just bought—“

“No, he's not my friend,” Daehyun said. “I mean we go in the same class, but we’ve never talked before.” Youngjae tried to catch Daehyun’s eyes, but the other had now turned his back on him.

“Then why did he ask you to come over? And he is still standing here.” Kim Himchan said and narrowed his eyes at Youngjae.

There was a slight pause before Daehyun shrugged and said: “I don’t know. He has always been sort of lonely, maybe he now wants a ticket in or something.”

The words hit Youngjae’s chest like cannonballs, the pain made him unable to catch his breath. His fists clenched so tightly that he could feel his fingernails bore into his skin.

He hurriedly gathered all the broken pieces of himself and said distantly: “Yeah, since Jung Daehyun is quite popular, but I guess I can never be like him. I’m at most the weirdo of the school. While Jung Daehyun is special, and what makes him special is that he shows the people around him a different side of him every day.” He turned around hastily and with somewhat shaking steps went back the way he came from. If he turned around then he would have caught the sight a boy staring at him with regretful eyes…but he didn’t.

Youngjae ran down the stairs as quickly as he could. He had been rejected and hurt before, he never cried then and he certainly wouldn’t cry now…

…no matter how painful it was.

He stopped at the bottom of the stairs and willed himself to breathe evenly.

‘It doesn’t matter…Jung Daehyun means nothing.’

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There were three knocks, rather hesitant and silent.

Knock knock knock

It was odd how Youngjae knew that it was Daehyun outside his door even if Daehyun had never ever bothered to knock before. A casual entrance has always seemed more like his style. So why did he bother now? Well, of course, it’s because things had changed.

Knock knock knock

Youngjae buried his face in the palms of his hands, closed his eyes and thought of reasons, explanations for his emotional state. Why did he feel so betrayed? It was not as if they had a strong bond of friendship, he had even from time to time denied that they were friends. Why did he want to feel included in Daehyun’s life, to be more than a…well, what was he? Daehyun’s words, his rejection had not in any ways been harsher or unlike the ones thrown at him before. So then why…why does it hurt?

“Youngjae-ah, open the door,” said Daehyun, his voice muffled by the blocking door, but the hint of plea in his tone carried through nonetheless.

He felt heavy, all of him was: his shoulders, his heart and his feet dragged across the floor. Youngjae let his fingers curl round the doorknob and felt the cold metal against his hand. With a deep sigh he finally pulled it.

His eyes landed on white sneakers, then slowly and reluctantly they travelled up over the familiar school uniform to finally end, looking straight into the dark orbs of Jung Daehyun.

Realization hit him, so suddenly and hard the he almost felt out of breath.

Why does it hurt?

This was why…

Youngjae almost wanted bend over and laugh at himself, to laugh loudly and bitterly at his pathetic situation.

“You are not going to let me in?” Daehyun asked, somewhat nervously shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

Youngjae moved aside and let him in. He went to sit on the bed as Daehyun stood awkwardly in the middle of his room. “What you are doing here?” he asked coldly.

Daehyun looked up from the floor and faced Youngjae. “I’m sorry,” he said, the regret clearly traceable in his tone.

Youngjae shrugged at Daehyun’s words, “Why are you apologizing?” his lips form a small smile, a bitter one but a smile nonetheless. “I never struck you as a person who would feel sorry after making a statement.”

Daehyun blinked twice as guilt flashed before him. “I didn’t mean it…you know, what I said earlier. I didn’t mean any of it.”

“Then why did you say it?” said Youngjae, his voice came out colder then he intended, but he didn’t care.

“I guess I panicked. I wasn’t prepared for…I don’t know,” his voice faltered.

Youngjae took in Daehyun’s shaken demeanor and felt somewhat content.

‘If he is like this because of me, then maybe I meant something to him. No matter how small that portion was…it was still something.’

“It’s okay,” Youngjae shrugged. “It’s fine, really.”

Daehyun eyes widened in surprise, “You’re not mad anymore?”

Youngjae sighed deeply and looked down at his own hands. “Maybe you should leave now,” he said.

“So you’re still mad,” the corners of Youngjae’s eyes caught the sight of Daehyuns’ hands clench into fists. “No, I’m not leaving.”

“Why are you being so difficult?” Youngjae had not meant to snap, but he wanted desperately to be alone, for Daehyun to leave. “Look,” Youngjae drove a hand through his hair, “you’ve apologized and I’ve accepted it, which means that my part is done. And if that’s not enough to please you conscience then that’s really not my problem.” Youngjae rose to his feet. “So please, leave now.”

He could see a hint of anger in Daehyun’s eyes. “Aren’t you the one making this difficult? You are the one who always says that we’re not friends, and then when I say it, you go all crazy on me. I’m just confirming and restating your thoughts, aren’t I? You can't just appear in front of me out of the blue in school and expect me to...argh” Daehyun’s eyes darted across the room then shook his head, not able to hold back his annoyance any longer. “You are unbelievable…you—“ he stopped midsentence as his eyes landed on the area they usually sat to play games. All his anger seemed to vanish at that moment. “You bought an extra controller?”

Youngjae looked over at his Playstation 3, at the two plugged game controllers, one of them completely new. He had saved his weekly allowance for the last couple of weeks to buy it. It seemed so stupid now…

Daehyun turned towards Youngjae. “For me?” he asked unbelievingly.

Youngjae met the other’s eyes. “Yeah,” another brittle smile formed on his lips. “I guess I valued our non-friends relationship more than I thought.”

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“Kids, are you guys hungry?” Youngjae’s mother’s voice cut through the silent room, her head peaked through the corner of the door.

“We’re fine, mom,” he said as he turned towards her.

“Are you sure? Daeyunie, you’re not hungry?” she stepped inside the room, her hands held two small milk cartons.

Daehyun bowed at her then said in a gentle tone, “I’m fine, thank you.”

“Have some milk then,” she said as she pushed a pink milk can in his hands. “Youngjae bought some strawberry milk a few days ago, I thought it was weird because he hates strawberry, but he said that you liked it,” she smiled broadly at her son’s friend.

Youngjae accepted the carton with plain milk from his mother. He could feel Daehyun’s eyes on him and therefore kept his gaze on the floor.

“Well, I’ll just leave you kids to yourselves. I’m going to the grocery store,” she smiled as she made her way out. “Ah, I’ll bring some chicken home in case you get hungry later on.”

“It’s fine, mom. Daehyun was just leaving.” Youngjae sat back down on his bed and looked up. “Right?”

Daehyun wore a thoughtful look, and then took a deep breath. “Right,” he said, his grip tightened round his milk can.

He turned his back at Youngjae and walked passed his mother, bowed to her then disappeared down the stairs.

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“Did you two have a fight?” Youngjae's mother was still by the door and looked at him worriedly.

He nodded slightly, “um, I guess…but it doesn’t really matter.”

“Your expression seems to say otherwise.” She gave him an encouraging smile, “but you are both good kids so I’m sure you will work it out.” Then she left and she closed the door after her.

Youngjae slumped onto his bed and looked up at his all too familiar ceiling.

‘Your expression seems to say otherwise.’

Of course it matters

‘I care about him’

Of course it matters

‘I…like him’

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Thank you for your time!

I hoped you like it ^^

Ivy