I feel like i'm going insane

I really think this is what going crazy feel like.

I’m tired, but I’m keeping myself up and awake to finish things that I need to get done, but I just end up staring at my laptop wishing for sleep, but it can’t come because I’m forcing myself to stay awake, but I’m so tried I want to cry and nothing makes sense and my typing becomes ajnfrjkfrg because of dyslexia. I’ll type “because” instead of “basically” because my brain must think they’re the same word, and, and, my eyes ache and my head hurts but I can’t sleep because in the morning I don’t feel any better and I just want to lay down on the couch and sleep, but I can’t, and I just want to cry.

*breaths*

*dies*

You see I stress easily….and then I don’t feel well, I procrastinate, I end up feeling lie . MY K’S AREN’T WORING TOO SO THAT’S ANNOYING! YOU K’S!!

Basically….I made a mistake.

You see I have quite a few things I’m trying to do this month….but I made it worse.

This month I’m doing the NWM (National Writers Month)…thing. It’s basically where you sign up and you see if you can write a 50,000 word story within a month…..@&$(#$&*&$%#@

At first I was like:

“yeah! I can do this!”

And now I’m just like:

“…..kill me.”

My head hurts so much and even though I write that much normally in short stories, it’s so much harder to write it all in one big story. right now I just…can’t do it. I’m just kind of…..@#$%%^%%$#$@#*$$&*#$@($*$&$*@(#

(Junsu is my amazing friends who can actually do this…I’m changmin, and jaejoong is my sanity.)

I usually stay up really late but for some reason I haven’t been able to…I’m tired all the time to the point of being bonkers. I get through my days running on tea and orange juice. I truly love writing, but now I’m just like……...

….damn.

what

are

words?

I don’t feel like I can quit the “National Writers Month” thing ether because then it will be one of those haunting things that will just be there in my mind forever….haunting….forever………forever.