If every class had a class clown, then you are one of the rare living definitions. People often describe you as the loud bubbly girl of Class 3-B. Your comical innuendos between classes have earned you the title of both the Teacher’s Pet and Teacher’s Enemy. Your sense of humor also earned you lots of friends, but you only have one best friend that could handle your funny bone for so long – Sooyoung.

 Anyhow, you don’t care about those titles and whatnots. All you care about is that you can make people laugh and smile. It just feels so fulfilling.

But of course, just like most of the whole high school girl population out there, be it a freshman or a senior, everyone has one guy that would make their heart go dugeun dugeun. And well, you’re not of the exceptions.

And so your not-so weird preferences in men made your heart target a pretty, doe-eyed, silent type of boy who have no other interest but to draw.

Every time you see him, he always has his nose buried under his beloved sketchpad. Or if not, he carries it around with him wherever he goes. Sooner or later, you won’t be surprised of the news that he marries the damn thing. Sometimes, you can’t believe that you could be so jealous of such inanimate object.

 And it’s already obvious that he completely has zero interest in women. He’s oblivious of the girls that fawn around him when he gets absorbed in his little pad of happiness. Maybe because he thinks it’s his bestfriend, Sehun, whom the girls are up to. Or maybe he knows about it, but just acts as if he doesn’t. He always has this gentle yet unreadable face so it’s hard to figure him out. Or maybe he just doesn’t really care or notice at all.

As much as you want to fawn over him, too, you just can’t bring up the courage to make a move. Partly because you’re afraid that you’re only going to get ignored just like one of those countless girls who swarm over him like a colony of bees on a beehive. Or partly because you know it’s going to be useless, because your mind runs out of wits just by looking at him. How much more if you go talk to him? Your smart mouth would only get tongue-tied, and won’t be able to save you from the humiliation.

So here you are, the supposedly vocal and bold girl of Class 3-B, effortlessly silenced by a pretty artisan boy.

A boy named Luhan.

~~

There he goes again, still handsome despite being absorbed into his freakin’ inanimate girlfriend. Ah, really, of all the possible rivals, a sketchpad?  You secretly sneak a peek at him beyond the shoulder of Sooyoung, who was too engrossed in telling you about her weekend enough to care. Just like a typical seated Luhan scene, he has his bangs partly covering his forehead as he skillfully manned the pencil in quick on his beloved sketchpad. He looks so perfect every time he’s sketching, you never get tired of watching him. You study his small but somehow masculine face. His sharp features, like his nose and jaw line, complement his slightly round cheeks. Your eyes fall upon and linger on his cherry red lips.

How the hell does he have lips that red? I bet he secretly puts lipstick on. Pfft. Hmm, I wonder what brand he uses. Should I ask him?  You snicker at your private joke.

“Hey, what’s so funny? Aish, you’re not listening again, are you?” Sooyoung reprimanded. You quickly turn your attention back to her, who now had a frown on her face. She turned her head towards Luhan, and then back at you.

 “I knew it.” She rolls her eyes. You grin at her apologetically. “Why do you like him so much? It’s clear that he hasn’t looked at any female specimen out there. Omo! Wait, don’t tell me… Maybe he’s gay?!” Sooyoung gasps mockingly.

“Shush! Your voice is too loud!” You hiss. She grins triumphantly. “But I still want to know. So… why?”

“I honestly don’t know.” You nervously laugh. “I just… like him. Does everyone need a reason to like anyone?”

“Hmm, you have a point.” She shrugs. The bell rings for the next class. “Talk to you later.” Sooyoung goes back to her seat and almost immediately starts talking again with another girl. You cup your face with your hand and starts thinking deeply about Sooyoung’s question.

Why do I like Luhan? That’s a tricky question. In all honesty, you haven’t really pondered why. You shrug and start laying out all the possibilities.

Hmm, let’s see, well aside from his overall handsome face, he’s totally different from me. Is that where the “opposite attracts” principle comes in? Maybe. Anyway, what else? Uhmm, as far as I’ve observed, I never saw him laugh at my comical antics. Maybe that’s the reason why? That I want to make him smile somehow? I’m not sure. Ah, whatever. I’d stick to the unknown. And besides, if I like him, then I like him. End of story.

You smile at your fair enough conclusion, and took a look back at him again. But for some pleasantly unknown reason, you found him meeting your gaze.

Crap, he’s looking at me. Stay calm. Look cool. Look indifferent. Look normal. Yes, that’s it. You silently chant the little mantra while you pretended to look around the room, trying your best to look indifferent, giving him the notion that your eyes only passed him and that you weren’t deliberately ogling at him. After a few minutes of cooling down my blush, the art teacher comes in.

“Good morning everyone!” He greets cheerfully. “So today, before I discuss a new topic, I would like to announce that we’re going to view an art exhibit next meeting in relation to today’s lesson. You need to make a reaction paper regarding your realizations and experiences during the event. Any questions?”

Someone raises a hand, and then asks, “When will it be passed sir?”

“On the day of the event itself. After the exhibit. And late papers will not be accepted.”

Everyone groans, including you and except the art enthusiasts. Oh great.

“But sir, we need to absorb the beauty of the art in order to appreciate it and further express it accurately into writing. Can the deadline be the day after tomorrow?” You stood up, mockingly articulating your hands like a Greek poet while citing your opinion. “Please?” You flash him the most awfully executed puppy eyes you could manage. The art teacher stares back at you, and the both of you have a staring contest for the next five seconds.

“Fine. Take a seat.” He surrenders with a smile. Everyone roars in celebration. Smiling proudly, you sit back triumphantly. You are met with a bunch of high fives from your seatmates, and some compliments that more or less mean the same with “You really are the best!”.

As you continue to laugh around, your eyes ‘accidentally’ turned to his way. As expected, he kept his cool serene face, giving nothing away. Disappointment and challenge overwhelms you.

Sometime, I’m going to make that face smile because of me. Just you wait.

~~

Strolling leisurely, you pass by every painting, wondering how the heck these artists managed to produce some exquisite masterpieces. Creativity and imagination really knows no boundaries. From weird box-shaped figures – your art teacher mentioned something about cubism – to insanely detailed, life-like people which was called realism, you remembered. You never thought that you could enjoy yourself watching all these art stuff. Too bad that you didn’t have a creative bone in you.

Ahh, there you go, my first realization. You rephrase your last thought, and scribbled it in your small notebook. You were so busy scrawling the sentence that you didn’t notice the person in front of you until it was too late. You bump into him, causing your notebook and pen to drop, and the pad that the guy was holding as well.

“Omo, I’m so—“ You freeze at the familiar blue sketchpad as you swiftly knelt to pick it up. My rival! Your subconscious voice screams. “—rry.” You scrambled for your small pen and notebook, and shakily handed the sketchpad to –you guessed it – Luhan, avoiding his gaze.

“It’s okay.” He gave you a quick smile. Uhm, okay okay, what do I do?

“Uhm, sure!” You exclaim, your voice unusually high-pitched. What the hell am I saying?!  You clear your throat nervously, finding a way to clear off the awkwardness. “Uhm, nice painting isn’t it?” You absentmindedly point to the piece in front of you without looking at it.

“Hmm, yes, fair enough? I get what you mean.” He looked at the painting, and then back at you. You laugh at him, sounding like a snorting pig and then checked out the painting yourself. Your eyes grow wide in horror when you see a full painting of a Adonis, his uhm, junior, staring wide at your pointed finger. You snatch your hand back to yourself, and then turn a bright shade of red. Luhan laughs at your feat. It was the first time you saw him laugh. You relax and joined his laughter. It was sort of short lived, though, and the awkwardness visits again.

“So, uhm, I always see you with that girlf-sketchpad! … of yours. Do you draw things like these?” You gauchely murmured.

“Sometimes.” Wow, what a  very long answer. -_- But I’m not giving up.

“What do you usually draw, then?”

“ Oh, just certain things. Things I like.” He paused, his eyes never leaving the painting. “I only draw things I like the most.” He turns to you and smiles.

“Luhan! Look look, come here, ppali!” Sehun interrupts the two of you and then lugs Luhan away.

“Uhm, I’m going to go first.” He said while getting dragged farther.

“Okay, bye…” You mutter. Sigh, just when we already started to have a normal conversation. You thought. Oh well. At least I saw him laugh today. You smile to yourself and continued walking.

~~

It was a weekend, and your mom asked you to buy the groceries for the week. You always drop by the park near your neighborhood whenever you go out, and take the swing for a moment to relax and enjoy yourself. After about five minutes, you leave the swing, and then move on to finally do some grocery shopping now.

On the way there, you notice a familiar figure seated on a bench. Your heart jumped when you realize it was Luhan. He looked different, and much cuter in casual clothes. He was still drawing though, but not on his inanimate girlfriend. That’s strange, he’s two timing?! Omona, I have two rivals now.

Some unknown streak of confidence struck you and before you knew it you were marching towards him and took a look at what he’s drawing.

“What’s that?”

He jumped up the moment he looked up at you, immediately slamming close his girlfriend number two – which, you discovered, was a folder with lots of papers. You didn’t see it clearly, but it looked like he was drawing a portrait of a girl. A girl he likes? Your heart wrenches at the thought.

He was flushing, he looked disturbed and irritated. Uh-oh.  He’s mad. What did I do again?

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to startle you.” You utter apologetically. “I—“

“It’s okay.” Luhan cuts you off, his tone sharp. He hurriedly puts away his things and stands up. “Uhm, I-I have to go. Sorry.” He hastily marches off and disappears, leaving you standing right there, confused and devastated.

He’s angry. Is that because I startled him or because I did something I’m not supposed to? Dammit, when will I ever do anything right in front of him?

~~

You steal a momentary glance at him, his face unreadable as usual. He didn’t say anything about yesterday and you’re afraid that you might do something wrong again.

“You need to apologize properly. Stealing glances won’t just solve your problem, you know.” Sooyoung suggests.

“You think so?” You bite your lip.

“Of course! He’s not like you, who are vocal and confident enough to confront an offender. He’s the silent type of person that’d probably give you the cold shoulder treatment. Who knows, he may hold a grudge on you forever if you don’t apologize soon enough.”

She’s kinda right. “But what if I screw up? I could get carried away, and I might end up confessing you know.”

“Oh please just don’t. Save yourself, okay? And aren’t you exaggerating?” She rolls her eyes.

“I’m just saying!”

“Whatever, you better apologize today, or you’re going to regret it.” She says firmly.

“Okay.” You take a last glance at him before continuing what you were doing.

~~

The dismissal bell rings and the class grew restless in an instant. Everyone began packing their bags, some are even already out the door. You nervously glance at Sooyoung, who glanced back and mouthed you a “hwaiting!”. You glance at Luhan, he was talking to Sehun, telling him to go first because he had somewhere to drop by. Good, at least I can assure that can be alone. (a/n: LOL STALKERRRR)

You walk after him, trying hard to look normal and nonchalant. You didn’t have any other game plan, so you’ll stick to following him until he’s left just by himself. Kinda stalkerish, you know, but there’s no other way left.

You had successfully followed him to the gym so far, but you get halted by a group of classmates along the way. Trying hard to keep him within your sight, you use your fine evading skills to escape the classmates, and then you proceed to catch up with him.

Oh crap. I lost him. What now?  You thought as you scanned everywhere, but he was nowhere to be seen. You look down, defeated and exhausted from the stalki— errm, following. You notice footsteps freshly formed on the ground, leading towards the back of the gym. Oh, maybe I still have hope after all. You happily thought and traced the footsteps, expecting to see Luhan.

But your heart sank the moment you saw him. No… them.

He… He was hugging a girl.

You quickly hid at the corner, your feelings shattered all over the place. I knew it. He liked another girl. Tears start to threaten your eyes, and you immediately run away as far as possible from the scene. You opted to go home, until you realized that your bag was left in the classroom.

“I’m sorry. But I really can’t change my mind. I like another girl. I’m really sorry. Please stop crying.” Luhan rubs the back of the girl who just confessed to him. She releases him, her face tear-stained.

“You are beautiful. But you’re not the one for me. And I’m not the one for you, too.” He smiled at her. “So find someone more handsome than me, okay?” The girl nods.

He was on his way to exit the school gates, sighing at the situation he had to deal with just now. He double- checked his bag if he forgot something. He rummages through his things, trying hard to find what’s missing. He couldn’t find his folder of drawings. That particular folder. He swiftly runs back towards the school building.

You saunter through the corridors idly, still heartbroken from what you just saw. Your mind is in a blank autopilot state, conveniently finding your way towards the classroom slowly.

By the time you arrive, the classroom was empty. You see your bag safely resting on your chair, still untouched. You can’t believe you were so eager to follow Luhan that you forgot it. Looks like karma was a bit too harsh on you, eh? You smirk emotionlessly, and proceeded to get it.

A particular green folder catches your eye, neatly positioned on top of Luhan’s armchair. Oh hey, girlfriend number two. Your boyfriend appears to be three-timing on you and girlfriend number one. You approach it, hesitant to open it.

Tch. Why do I even care? As if it would make a difference anyway. Knowing who the girl is won’t make any difference. You shakily opened the folder, preparing your heart for the piercing pain.

But the wind didn’t cooperate with you. Instead, it harshly blew on the papers, sweeping it off everywhere, sending it flying across the whole room. Crap.

You staggered down to collect it one by one, but you found yourself staring at one drawing of a girl.

That’s strange.  You blink repeatedly to check if you’re hallucinating.

The girl. It looked like you.

Ha, yeah right, brain, you can’t fool me. You convince yourself, chuckling nervously. You take another drawing and checked it.

It was a girl, seated on a swing, her face looking happy. Her face… It looked like yours, too.

You snatch another one, it looked like it was in a museum setting, and the girl in it looked embarrassed, flushed. She had your face, too.

Why? Is this some kind of joke? Is my brain playing optical illusions on me?

You hear the sound of running footsteps. Not for long, you see a pair of shoes halt towards the door, paired together with ragged breathing. Your heart pounds violently inside your chest, the questions temporarily forgotten. You slowly look up, and there was Luhan,  panting,  beads of sweat running down his handsome face.

 “I’m sorry…” You absentmindedly whisper to him.

Luhan doesn’t answer. Instead, he steps closer towards you and kneels, so that you’re eye level with each other. He wipes off a tear from your cheek, and smiles.

“ I saw you today. With that girl. Hugging…”

He flinches at your statement, and then his face lightens up almost instantly. “I rejected her. Hugging was a form of comfort. I couldn’t bear to see girls cry because of me.”

“Oh.” You gasp, relieved somehow. You wipe of your remaining tears with the back of your hand and sniffed. “I thought you were…” He shakes his head to the side, reassuring you.

“But these drawings…? They look like me.” You stared at him. He laughs. 

 “They ARE you.”

You your head to the side in confusion. “Why?”

 “Didn’t I say I only draw things I like the most?” He cups your face, his eyes searching yours.

“That only means…” He leaned in for a kiss.

“I like you.”