"We'll be off now, Tiffany-sshi, Taeyeon-sshi. Have a pleasant evening," one of Donghae's colleagues bid them goodbye, as they dropped them off at the lobby of Tiffany's apartment building.
 
"Thank you so much, and a good evening to you, too," Tiffany replied politely.
 
Taeyeon said nothing as the men walked away. She just stared at the marble floor, shuffled her feet, and listened to the fading footfalls.
 
When Tiffany turned towards her, she looked up, and met the girl's equally-weary eyes.
 
"I guess, you're tired as well," Tiffany said.
 
Taeyeon pursed her lips in reply, and shifted her grip on her guitar case.
 
"Let's head up. Sunny's already preparing dinner." Tiffany tilted her head to the direction of the elevators, and started walking.
 
Taeyeon followed after a few steps.
 
And the both of them were silent as they rode the elevator to the 19th floor.

* * *

Jessica had found her sitting on a couch at the lobby of her apartment building.
 
Her form was bent. She was looking blankly down at her shoes. She looked so small against the gray couch where she sat. Behind her, the window showed a view of the silent, empty street, and starless night sky.
 
The bulky doorman at the other end of the lobby was stealing furtive glances at her. The vending machine was just four steps away from him but he didn't even bother to buy her guest a cup of cheap coffee, seeing that the air was unusually chilly that night. Instead, he just eyed her creepily.
 
Jessica breathed out through her nose as she walked past him. She wanted to rip the guy's eyes out of their sockets and choke him with them.
 
How dare he look at my—

A gasp escaped from her upon seeing the other girl closer, "My god, Taeyeon-ah..." 

Jessica immediately fell on her knees in front of Taeyeon, and gently took the girl’s face in her hands.
 
"They gave up..." Taeyeon said, looking at her with those eyes.
 
What she saw made her chest ache. All too familiar and raw.
She had a strong urge to take Taeyeon away, and never come back.
 
Taeyeon was trembling uncontrollably, and she was unusually cold to the touch.
 
She took off her white cardigan, and wrapped it around Taeyeon's shoulders.

"They have given up on me."
 
She could hardly hear Taeyeon's words through the wild pounding of her heart, but she had a bad feeling that what she was dreading could be true. Her jaw quivered. It was all too familiar.

Jessica gritted her teeth, and quickly took a hold of herself. With a determined grip around Taeyeon, she lifted her up.

"Come on," she said firmly. "Get up."

But to Taeyeon alone, without anyone else hearing, she whispered gentle words of comfort.
 
"We can do this. I'm here for you."
 
Like a mantra, she repeatedly said those words, calming both Taeyeon and herself as they walked, huddled, towards the elevators.

As they passed by the doorman's desk, she threw a glare at the unsuspecting and nosy doorman.

The doorman seemed to shiver uneasily as if suddenly cold.

* * *

19B
 
The sign on the door said.
 
Taeyeon couldn't suppress her growing uneasiness as they arrived in front of Tiffany's apartment. It crossed her mind that everything that had happened could all be another show... show to lure her into something unimaginable even to her. She'd be utterly shocked if the door revealed a e den with old men donned in business suits, holding stubby cigars, whiskey, or a girl's bare leg.
 
But it only crossed her mind.

And another blow like that wouldn't make her heart flutter uneasily. Instead, it would either make her go crazy or...make her go crazy.
 
Her uneasiness also didn't have anything to do with the fact that she was going to spend the night and many more nights to come at a complete stranger's apartment. She did that countless... a few times before and it was nothing new. Even the fact that it was her new lover's apartment contributed little to it.
 
She tried to look the other way. She tried to see the white painted walls in a different light. She tried to view the hallway as anything but an ordinary hallway.

But Taeyeon found her distracting. The way Tiffany fumbled through the keys with trembling hands. The hint of blood drying on Tiffany's lower lip. The way Tiffany's wavy brown hair swayed gently, how her brows slightly furrowed in focus, how Tiffany's eyelashes fluttered, how...
 
Tiffany managed to open the door.
 
Then the other girl promptly walked inside, stepped aside and waited for Taeyeon to completely come in and step out of her shoes.
 
"Welcome," Tiffany said softly, as if speaking any louder than that could scare her away.
 
Taeyeon expected Tiffany's apartment to be a luxurious one, complete with servants and a cook. She actually readied herself to be both overwhelmed and appalled at what was inside.
 
But the place that unfolded in front of her was far from any of it...
 
The interiors were all in a light shade of pink, white, and gray. The living room had a simple white sofa set, a widescreen TV, sleek vertical speakers, and a compact DVD player. On one wall, a tall shelf stood in between two closed doors and it housed a wide array of paperback and hardbound books, and a small DVD collection at the bottom.
 
The whole side of the living space opposite the front door was a wide floor-to-ceiling window, with an access to the balcony. The white curtains were pulled aside, revealing a beautiful view of Seoul's night cityscape. She could already imagine how beautiful the day lights would flood in in the mornings.
 
The kitchen and dining area were one step elevated on their right. It was simple and spacious, clean, and seemed very open. The kitchen counter top held the essential cooking appliances, a small tray of apples and oranges, and another tray held a water pitcher and two tall drinking glasses. The dining table had four chairs.
 
It wasn't pretentious. There were no servants to greet them back. Everything felt unexpectedly...homey.
 
Taeyeon turned back to see Tiffany arranging her sneakers and her own shoes, side by side. The sight of Tiffany by the doorway managed to stir something inside of her... something she had felt a lot in the past but on a different degree. She mentally shook her head, and crushed everything with cynical thoughts.
 
"I prefer them to be arranged every time," Tiffany explained, pertaining to the shoes by the doorway. She must have caught her looking.
 
Taeyeon nodded once before turning around again to have another look.
 
New note-to-self: Always arrange shoes by the doorway.

Eventually, she would need to learn a lot of things about Tiffany. She would have to know her temper and learn how to deal with them. Also her food preferences, and allergies, her hobbies, her past, her relationships with her colleagues, friends, her parents, her former lovers. Soon she'd know why Tiffany had little choice about love, and the fact that the girl had chosen her.
 
And sadly, Tiffany would soon realize in return, that she would know nothing more about her other than her given name ‘Taeyeon,’ her face, her voice.
 
Taeyeon pursed her lips as an early apology.
 
They were never good to her, these overwhelming changes. In the past, they made her fall down on both knees, or made her feel like floating aimlessly. They made her cry inside.
 
But as of that moment, she wasn't sure yet what the recent changes would do to her.

Or rather, she wasn't ready to know yet.
 
Tiffany was watching her with pensive eyes, as if she was looking at her but not actually seeing her.
 
Taeyeon breathed in. Uneasy.
 
Slowly, with every excruciating second that passed, she started to feel the weight of her new role in the other girl's life.
 
She would be living with Tiffany from then on.
 
For a year.
 
For hundreds of days.

* * *

The apartment, like most nights, was almost too silent. She was used to it.
 
Tiffany changed out of her black mini dress, and did the quickest shower she had ever done in her life. And although she wasn't that satisfied yet with the white racer-back top and pink pajama bottoms she had changed into, she chose to come out of her bedroom, and wait like a good host for Taeyeon.
 
Carrying the set of clothes Taeyeon wanted to borrow for the night, she went inside the guest room, and sat on the bed. She laid out the clothes beside her, separating the new undergarments from the pajama set from her own closet. Taste in clothing aside, she hoped that they would at least fit Taeyeon.
 
Taeyeon was still inside the shower. She could still hear the water running. She decided to wait in the room longer. If ever Taeyeon needed something, she would just be there.
 
Tiffany never had someone sleep over at 19B or at her old house before, and she couldn't help but marvel at the new feeling.

This must be how it feels like...
 
Tiffany pictured out a younger version of herself in her head, carrying the knapsack of a younger version of Sunny to one corner of the room, where blankets, pillows, beanbags, and cushions were tossed about. Her foster sister would change into Star Wars pajamas, while she would have her Buffy shirt on, and then they would argue on whose pajamas had the most awesome design. A younger version of Taeyeon would also be there, wrapped up in a thick blanket, already waiting in front of the TV for the scary movie that they planned on watching. 

Tiffany smiled a bit at the thought.

The only difference was, Taeyeon would 'sleep over' for a year.
 
Tiffany let out a nervous sigh as she heard the shower being turned off. She was about to stand up when her attention was caught by the guitar case leaning on the bedside table. It was an arm's length away from her.
 
Seeing it closer, the guitar case obviously seemed well-taken cared of even if it looked old and used. Its black color was faded around the corners but the linings were still intact. It was clean and even the bottom wasn't dusty at all.

Tiffany reached over and run her shaky fingers on the hard case. She laughed nervously to herself, a little giddy at the newness of it all.

If I'm supposed to feel like this for a year, then I—
 
"Don't touch that."
 
Tiffany’s head whipped to the side, surprised.
 
Taeyeon was standing by the bathroom’s doorway. Her wet brown hair clung to her bare shoulders. Her body was wrapped snugly in a white towel. Her arms were on her sides, relaxed and un-defensive. Her expression was unreadable.
 
Tiffany bit her lower lip, and flinched at the sudden pain.

Taeyeon breathed out softly before she rephrased."I mean, please don't." 
 
Tiffany nodded in understanding. She stood up straighter, and stepped away from the guitar case, and the bed. "I… I brought you pajamas. Is there anything else that you need?" she asked, walking towards the door. She was aware that she was starting to babble. "If there's nothing else, I'll leave now so that you can change. Then we can have a late dinner af—"
 
"There's one thing."
 
Tiffany stopped by the door to listen.
 
Taeyeon pursed her lips together before she said, "Can you lend me some clothes during my stay here?"
 
Tiffany stared at the older girl, trying to read whatever Taeyeon's face could reveal. She saw nothing.
 
At the back of her mind, Tiffany really hoped that her face also didn't reveal anything. The disappointment, the fading picture of little Sunny and little Taeyeon fighting over the comfiest beanbag in front of the TV, she hoped none of them reflected on her face.
 
Aside from the guitar case that she was forbidden to touch, Taeyeon had brought nothing else with her. Earlier on their way over, Taeyeon didn't even ask if they could stop by anywhere to get her stuff.
 
The divide, the line that wasn't there before was slowly showing itself.
 
Tiffany didn't push.
 
"Of course, it's not a problem," she said, looking away. She quickly got out of the guest room, biting on her lower lip again. It felt sore, but she didn't mind the stinging pain.
 

They're just clothes, Tiffany repeated to herself. They're just clothes...
 
Tiffany bit harder.

* * *

Tiffany stared.
 
Her lips are so pink...
 
She leaned closer.
 
Taeyeon had passed out on the bed, lying on her back. One of her hands was tucked under her chin while the other one was relaxed on the pillow beside her. Her hair was tossed about, creating a brown and blonde halo around her head. The hem of her shirt was pulled up, revealing an inch or so of her taut navel. Taeyeon's legs were under the bed covers. One of her feet was exposed.

Tiffany's hand was itching to grab a pencil and paper from her studio but she found herself not willing to give up the favorable spot beside the bed.

The early morning sun was already up.

Tiffany had been in Taeyeon's room for 15 minutes, kneeling on the floor, watching the girl’s every move, every rise and fall of her chest.

And Taeyeon was still deeply sleeping. She seemed exhausted.

Is dealing with me that tiring? Tiffany asked Taeyeon silently.

Her foster sister had told...complained to her many times how she tired Sunny out, with every whining and worrying on the days when she would think too much.
 
'To our dearly-loved Tiffany,
You bring me wrinkles and misery
Such a real pain to my entity
From The Lovable Sunny'
 
It was randomly written on her birthday card five years ago.
Then Sunny decided to write it every year since. It wasn't so random after all.
 
Tiffany frowned a bit, curious. She had spent five minutes thinking about Sunny's penchant for mean words, and Taeyeon was still peacefully sleeping. She asked the heavens why she couldn't sleep that peaceful the previous night.
 
She sighed for what seemed like the 29th time that morning. Then she looked closer and admired Taeyeon's flawless skin, amazed at how someone could look so peaceful while sleeping, and...

Magnetic.
 
The way she first saw Taeyeon through the two-way mirror didn't do her justice, compared to what she was looking at. And she gradually took her words back...that Taeyeon's appearance didn't blow her away. For Taeyeon’s beauty was then breathing out softly to her, fanning her face with everything that was Taeyeon.

She wondered how Taeyeon could look that open but become so guarded when awake.
 
For some reason, Tiffany wanted to cry at the sight...
 
...and flick Taeyeon's lovely forehead for making her confused since the previous night.
 
Last night had been less awkward than what she expected. It was her first night with a stranger in her apartment but her phone, with speed dial #1 set to Sunny, lay undisturbed inside the pocket of her pajama bottoms.

Taeyeon didn't talk much but she was polite. Other than the request to borrow clothes, the other girl didn't ask for anything more.
 
With tired eyes, Tiffany had watched Taeyeon eat, fascinated. She had no appetite that time, and was just content observing the girl sitting at the other side of the small dining table.
 
Taeyeon had silently munched on what Sunny had brought over for dinner, seafood pasta, a simple garden salad, and apple juice. She was well-mannered and even ate in a methodological fashion. She meticulously picked out the almonds from the salad first before proceeding on to the pasta. A forkful of salad in between forkfuls of pasta, then back to salad again.
 
A lot of questions formed in her mind. She was intrigued... and mesmerized. Most of them revolved around, 
 
Where and how does she live?
Does she still have a family?
What does she do for a living?
 
Of course, she didn't get any answers. She didn't voice out any of them in the first place.
 
Taeyeon suddenly took her glass that was filled with ice, and wiped away the water residue forming around it.
 
Tiffany leaned back and stared curiously at the girl. Then her eyebrows rose in mild surprise as Taeyeon held the glass out to her. "Oh, you want water—"
 
"No. Lightly press this on your lower lip." Taeyeon's face was expressionless. "Might help reduce the soreness."
 
Tiffany unconsciously touched her lower lip, and she winced as it stung a little. She promptly took the glass of ice Taeyeon was offering, and pressed it gingerly on her lips.
 
"It was bleeding a little bit, a while ago, if you haven't noticed," Taeyeon had added before averting her eyes, back to her food again.
 
 
Taeyeon just moved a little on the bed, snapping Tiffany out of her thoughts. 
 
Then the other girl suddenly breathed out through her slightly-parted lips. Tiffany swallowed hard.
 
"Yah, what are you doing?"
 
Sunny was staring at her wide-eyed by the doorway.
 
Upon getting caught, Tiffany immediately stood up and walked over to clamp a hand at her foster sister’s mouth. She had been caught red-handed twice already, in less than 24 hours.

"That's creepy, Fany-ah!" Sunny hissed at her, waving her hand away.

"She used the light zesty brand of soap and shampoo instead of the fruity stuff we also put in the bathroom," Tiffany tried explaining as quickly and as quietly as she can.
 
"And her feet size is around like this," she added, showing a gap between her hands.
 
"What are you babbling on about?" Sunny grabbed her arm and tried to pull her out of the guest room. "Stop bothering her!"
 
"No, no! It's not like that," Tiffany whispered back, keeping her ground.
 
"You're sneaking up on someone sleeping," Sunny said dryly.
 
"But we need to buy stuff for her," Tiffany reasoned out, taking another look at the sleeping figure.

Sunny stopped, and eyed her suspiciously. "That's your real reason and you're not just being...you?"
 
Tiffany nodded vehemently.

"Leave it to me, then." Sunny took a deep breath and gave her a serious look. "I'm already familiar with her sizes."
 
"’Sizes,’ what do you..." Tiffany looked back and forth between Sunny and Taeyeon. "You mean her measurements?"
 
Sunny shushed her immediately. With a shrug, she whispered, "I executed the procedures, remember?"
 
Tiffany’s eyes widened. "Yah, isn't that..."
 
"What?"
 
"Isn't that unfair?"
 
"What's unfair?"
 
"She's now my... uhmm... and yet, you get to see all of that?" Tiffany pointed at Taeyeon's body, from head to foot with messy hand movements.
 
Sunny rolled her eyes. "Fany-ah, seriously. You think I'd be attracted to 'all of that?'"
 
To prove how ridiculous she sounded, her foster sister also pointed at Taeyeon's body, from head to toe... and then back up again, grimacing.
 
Tiffany pursed her lips together, and held in a whimper.
 
"You chose her, not me," Sunny pointed out. Her foster sister grabbed a hold of her arm again, and started pulling her out of the room. "Come on, let her sleep so that I can have peace."
 
"But it still seems unfair."
 
"Strip her then," Sunny dared, using more strength to pull her. "Let's see her bolt out on you."
 
However, before Sunny could completely get her out of the room, Tiffany saw Taeyeon shift on the bed. The sleeping girl's shirt inched much higher, and revealed more of her smooth and pale abdomen, and also the black lining of her bra.
 
Oh, my...

* * *

The harsh light that seeped through the window shades woke her up. Taeyeon groaned, and internally asked why of all the places to shine on, it had to be her face.
 
The clock on the wall showed that it was almost 1 o'clock in the afternoon. She had missed breakfast and lunch altogether.
 
Taeyeon lay on the bed, flat on her back. She stared at the ceiling of the dimly-lit guest room. The events yesterday took a toll on her so she slept like a log the entire night, and throughout the entire morning, apparently. She had never slept that long ever since that cold night… And in a place that was still new to her, too. She found it strange.
 
Her hands felt the clean sheets. She caught the fresh scent of fabric conditioner on the pillowcase. She heard the silence of the room and then the accelerating beating of her heart as the feeling of unfamiliarity swept through her.

Her mind reeled.

In her sleep-lagged mind, she processed her thoughts.
 
Pose as Tiffany's lover for a year to make Tiffany's ill mother feel at ease. Hope that 'the good things' brought by my presence could, at least, help with the recovery.
 
Stay with Tiffany in the duration of that one year.
 
Brunch or dinner, once or twice a week, at the parents' house.
 
Parents are not supposed to know anything about the contract. Contract will automatically end once they became aware of its existence.
 
Tiffany...
 
They were off to a bad start. Taeyeon wondered how Tiffany viewed her after their brief encounters. It was her own fault. She had been 'inconsistent' last night. At dinner, and after her shower.
 
With a huff, Taeyeon rubbed at her eyes and stretched a bit before dragging herself off the bed. She headed straight to the guest room's shower. 

It was a new day. She hoped that her act would pull through.

* * *

Taeyeon went out of the bathroom, refreshed. Although she was hungry, she felt great after the long sleep and the cold shower.
 
On the dresser by the window, she spotted a neat pile of clothes, folded neatly alongside her freshly-laundered ones from the previous night. She examined the pile of clothes, and noticed that they were all new. There were also new undergarments, which she found slightly embarrassing. They were all in different shades of pink.
 
There was also a small basket that contained hand and body lotions, moisturizers and the essentials, which to her surprise, seemed to match her preferences. A pink ribbon was tied around the set of toiletries. A warm feeling rose in her chest at the small detail.

There was obviously no one else who would do that aside from Tiffany.

Taeyeon opened a bottle of moisturizer, dismissing the reprimanding voice inside her head that was nagging at her since she woke up.
 
Taeyeon wondered how the new day would go. She wondered how Tiffany would act around her.
 
Tiffany had been attentive and good to her so far.
And Taeyeon, in turn, had been 'inconsistent.'
 
She had learned that when people didn’t know a thing about you, it was easier to face them. And she planned on carrying on with that thought in mind.

Taeyeon didn't want her life to be a common knowledge to these people but she somehow wanted to, at least, be civil around them.

She was already in a mess... Might as well make it a presentable mess.
She had that in mind, too.

When she got out of the guest room, Taeyeon found Tiffany sitting on the couch nearest the wide, floor-to-ceiling window. A sketchpad was open on her lap. She was frowning in concentration at the almost blank sheet before her. The hand that was holding a mechanical pencil was steady. The girl seemed to be deep in thought.
 
Taeyeon walked closer and held in an involuntary gasp.
What she imagined yesterday was right.

The lights flooding in through the wide windows shone...on her.
 
And it was beautiful.
 
She suddenly felt like humming her favorite new song.

* * *

Tiffany heard sudden movements beside her.

Taeyeon was walking towards her in slow, tentative steps. The girl had been watching her.

"Hi there," Tiffany greeted her with a small smile. She glanced at Taeyeon's clothes. The other girl had chosen a pair of black denim shorts, and a plain white top Sunny had chosen during their quick shopping earlier that morning. Her heart warmed at the sight, satisfied with what Taeyeon chose to wear.

"Hi," Taeyeon greeted back just as softly.

Tiffany closed her sketchbook, and rose up from the couch. It was a useless distraction anyway. She couldn't draw anything decent. Her mind was still filled with the new presence in her apartment. She was asked to illustrate a couple in a bar, drinking, but all she managed to draw well was a glass filled with iced water, and the couple ended up having crude lines for limbs and dots for eyes.

"Would you like to have tea or fruit juice?" Tiffany asked carefully as she walked towards the kitchen.

"I'm a coffee person," Taeyeon replied.

"Coffee, it is."

While Tiffany was busying herself in the kitchen, Taeyeon paced about the living area. She looked at nothing in particular. Still, she looked around. She ran her fingers on the fabric of the couch, on the stack of books on the shelf, just to give her hands something to do. She read different titles of art books, magazines, novels, and a couple of self-help books but her mind processed none of them. They were just a jumble of random letters to her. Her head was too busy trying to think of topics to start a conversation with.

But then, she found that she was too hungry to come up with anything.

...Her empty stomach was partly an excuse really, since she wasn't a talker to begin with.

So she was that thankful that it was Tiffany who initiated the conversation.

"Please, make yourself at home," the girl said, her back was to Taeyeon. She seemed to be stirring coffee for more than a minute already. "Get used to staying here."

"There are lots to do here, too," Tiffany added. "Books, movies. Sunny has video game consoles over at her apartment. The building has a pool, gym, and a court."
 
Tiffany's soft husky voice gave Taeyeon light pleasant chills, so she didn't mind if she just listened.

She didn't mind at all...
 
 
Tiffany thought of more to say. "Sunny's dropping by with our late lunch."
She bit on her lower lip again but lightly. She wanted to stop, seeing that her lip was still sensitive... But she couldn't help it.

She also noticed that she had started to babble...talk a lot again. After all this time.

Her father would definitely celebrate, welcoming another thing to stress about from her.

"You must be hungry now. It's been more than 12 hours since your last meal. You seemed so tired, I didn't have the heart to wake you up."

She hoped that Taeyeon wouldn't notice it...

...That she was a ‘mess,’ to put it in the simplest word she could think of.

Tiffany looked down at the brown liquid in the mug, swirling continuously.
 
...That she had been alone for a lot of reasons.
 
 
Taeyeon watched Tiffany walk towards her with a mug of coffee.
She looks tired, she noticed.

"Here." Tiffany handed her the mug.

Taeyeon stepped closer. She looked intently at Tiffany's eyes while taking the mug, letting her fingers slide over the girl's.

Tiffany flinched at the contact.
Taeyeon flinched inside as well.

The other girl avoided meeting her eyes. The boldness of the way Tiffany stared at her during dinner last night seemed to have expired.

"It's yours, too, by the way." Tiffany pointed at the mug in Taeyeon's hands.

Taeyeon looked at the mug with mild interest. It was white, and a sleeping white puppy was illustrated on one side. "Thank you..."

Tiffany smiled. An open one. Then she walked back to the kitchen, and poured a glass of apple juice for herself.

Taeyeon felt lighter. Somehow, she felt proud of herself for not making an awkward situation out of nothing. She went to the floor-to-ceiling window, and took in the afternoon cityscape.

She liked the day, so far. She wasn't gonna deny that.
A seemingly-carefree day with only the ‘act’ to think about.

With thoughts of the real world shoved down inside her mind, she could really see the day as wonderful.

She took a sip...
...And made a face.

The coffee had already become lukewarm. It must have been because of Tiffany's prolonged stirring. The taste, however, surprisingly suited her well. Very well, in fact. It had the right amount of creaminess, and the level of sweetness was, just as surprisingly, much to her liking. Although she wasn't the type who put sugar in their coffee, that time, she liked it.

She continued taking sips.
The best cup of lukewarm coffee.

When she glanced back at Tiffany by the kitchen, the other girl's back was to her again. She couldn't see Tiffany's face but her shoulders had dropped, as if burdened. The glass of apple juice on the counter beside her was undisturbed.
 
Taeyeon didn't think more of it as she silently went back to the guest room, taking her coffee with her. She closed the door gently, and looked for her phone among her few things. She hadn't turned it on since she was taken. She had completely forgotten to call Jessica back.

Anxiety slowly rose from her chest as she waited for her phone to come to life. She knew what a day of absence could lead to, especially after what happened a few days ago.

Through the dull beating in her chest, Taeyeon scrolled through the unread messages and notifications in her phone.

It was like taking a peek into a crack on a cupboard filled with the ice cream cones, and jelly candies, the stuff you like mixed in with the unwanted things that were also stored. Like the bag of peanuts you didn't know you had. Also like promo bags. You buy them because they said you can save more, but the free biscuits will eventually be stacked away in the depths of your cupboard, forgotten and wasted.

Taeyeon scrolled down the handful of messages from 'Obligation #1,' and 'Headache #5.' After reading one of their messages, she already knew why they contacted her for.

Headache was threatening to spread from the back of her skull again.

For a moment, she considered changing their names into 'Biscuit #1,' and 'Freebie #5' to make them seem less sinister, and the potential headaches they brought, less painful.

Her mood slightly lifted up though, upon seeing 'Seohyunnie,' 'Yonghwa,' and 'Jessica Jung' among the notifications.

But that 'Jessica Jung' was mad at her. She could feel it as her first call went straight to voicemail.

Taeyeon had promised to call the other girl on a daily basis, even if it was just a quick phonecall on the way home or just to say 'good night.'

And knowing Jessica, the girl always held on to promises. No matter how little, no matter how insignificant they seemed.

There was a time when she promised to come over to Jessica's apartment with bags of junk food in hand. And when she arrived empty-handed, she ended up watching TV movie reruns by herself, and finishing all the popcorn Jessica meticulously popped into perfection just for her. Jessica didn't talk to her all night, not even when she cuddled with her in bed.

Taeyeon sighed, tiredly. 
She gave up after five unanswered calls.

Taking her unfinished coffee with her, Taeyeon headed out of the guest room. She instantly heard soft chatter from the other side of the apartment. She silently took a few steps more to see the backs of Tiffany... and Sunny, standing side by side by the kitchen counter.

In contrast to how Sunny was dressed in a three-piece suit the day before, the girl with the pixie cut was wearing a white sleeveless top, and faded jeans.

She and Tiffany were talking animatedly while preparing what looked like a kimchi dish... Well, Tiffany seemed more like she was just assisting, as Sunny reprimanded her playfully on how onions should be sliced.

With the unanswered phonecalls still hanging in her mind, she thought back on the contract, and on all the promises her father said she couldn't keep. Taeyeon's chest clenched as she remembered the cold nights, the consequences she was never ready for, the sad way they all looked at her... and that special gaze only Jessica could give.

Can I keep it up for a year?

She knew it was thinking way ahead but...
 
Will this end up in unanswered calls, too?

* * *

They stared at Taeyeon like she was some kind of newly-discovered monkey species.

One was alert on her feet again, as if ready to lunge at her if she made a wrong move.
The other one was looking at her a bit shyly, unsure of what to do.

Taeyeon looked at the table instead to not meet the latter's eyes, which she found to be inconveniently attractive.

They had just finished eating. Nobody was making a move to clear the table. They just had a stare-down as if it was the natural thing to do next.

Sunny particularly had her eyes set on Taeyeon. Her eyebrows creased... in disapproval.

"Look at the two of you." Sunny shook her head, staring at them both.

Taeyeon and Tiffany both looked up.

"I know it's only been a day but you better start on becoming close... Or, at least, look close." Sunny set her eyes on Tiffany next. "Do you know how smart your mother is?"

Tiffany groaned. She shrunk back a little into her seat.

"You're right..." She buried her face into her hands, and groaned, "She will easily see through this."

Taeyeon said nothing as she watched the other girls. Compared to how formal they were yesterday, the two of them looked more like teenagers worrying about what to tell their parents for coming home late...for the first time.

Sunny heaved out a frustrated sigh as she patted Tiffany's back, comforting her.

"I'll try to do something about this new..." Sunny looked at Taeyeon directly. "...problem."

Taeyeon wanted to sneer just to annoy Sunny, but she held it back. She didn’t care enough to make an effort.
 
With a tired sigh, Sunny stood up, and said, "I'm gonna get going, for now."
 
Tiffany looked up from her hands, and said, "Okay..."
 
"And you two, talk. Get rid of this awkward atmosphere if you can," Sunny added. Then turning to Tiffany, she added, "I'll just be next door, okay?"
 
And then Sunny gave one last look at Taeyeon before she completely walked out of the apartment.

Without a word, Taeyeon took a last sip from her cold coffee before she excused herself from the table. She walked to the wide window, and took in the vastness of Seoul.

Leaving Tiffany at the dining table wasn't her intention, but she suddenly had the urge to get away, even if it was just a few feet.

Maybe it was what Sunny called 'this awkward atmosphere,' but Taeyeon wasn't really sure.

Tiffany was quiet.
The apartment had become too silent.

It was starting to get to Taeyeon.

"Just tell me what to do," she said, a little exasperated. "It says so in the contract."
 
"Can we..." Tiffany shaky voice trailed off. She stood up from her seat, and followed her to the window.

Taeyeon didn't know why she was holding her breath for, but she was. She waited until Tiffany was standing next to her, a good and well-appreciated one meter away from her, before she breathed out.

Tiffany paused for a second before continuing. "Let's stop talking about the contract... for now."

Taeyeon gave a one-shouldered shrug. She turned to Tiffany, and agreed, "Fine."

"I just think that, since we're now, supposed-to-be, you know... Maybe we should—"

"Say it," Taeyeon said, her eyes never leaving Tiffany's.

Tiffany pursed her lips together before starting again, "Since we're now... uhmm, in this relationship, maybe we should get to know each other more. You know, just the basics."

Taeyeon's jaw hardened. Her back stiffened.

Tiffany seemed to not notice her sudden discomfort. She asked formally, "Tell me about yourself."

With a soft huff, she said, "My name's Taeyeon. I'll be turning 25 this year."

Tiffany waited for her to say more but... "That's it?"

Taeyeon shrugged.

"Oh, wait." She faced Tiffany, and with a straight face, she added, "I'm a coffee person."

Taeyeon saw Tiffany bit the insides of , as if the girl was unsure.
 
But after a few seconds, Tiffany chose to say something about herself instead. "My name is Stephanie ‘Tiffany’ Hwang, 24. You've met Sunny, my over-protective foster sister. She lives next door at 19C."

Tiffany's discomfort seemed to fade away with every word she said, and for a moment, Taeyeon also felt slightly better seeing the girl at ease. "She studied Business, and now works with Donghae oppa, my godbrother, at my Dad's company. He was there yesterday at the..."

Taeyeon nodded in understanding, not wanting Tiffany to bring up the jam-packed events from the past day.

Tiffany took the hint, and went on, "I'm an illustrator, and I work here, at home."

Taeyeon's eyes automatically searched around the apartment for her work space.

"I have a studio connected to my bedroom," Tiffany supplied, smiling a bit. "I can spend two to three days straight in there, working. I can show it to you sometime." 

The younger girl's eyes shone with a hint of excitement. "How about you? What do you do?"

Taeyeon didn't make any move to answer. Thinking back on it, all she did for the past hour was stare, look away, nod, and talk with a few words when spoken to. For some reason, Tiffany seemed a bit saddened by her silence.

Tiffany breathed out shakily. She looked at Taeyeon, almost helplessly, and said, "I don't know how to go about this, really. I—I've never been in a serious relationship before, so... even with an arranged set-up like ours, this is new to me."

Tiffany looked out into the horizon. "I don't know how to..."

Taeyeon saw her lips slightly quiver. She found it hard not to do anything about it. "Tiffany..."

She didn't continue until the other girl was looking back at her.

"I may not tell you things, or I may hold back from saying them," Taeyeon said in carefully-chosen words. "But I never lie.

"Rest assured that I'm not some secret intelligence agent, a mafia princess, a hired killer, or some shady character that only looks cool in movies and novels," she went on with probably the longest statement she had ever told the other. "I have no criminal record, and I'm definitely not a worker."

Tiffany's cheeks suddenly changed color.

Taeyeon held back any hint of amusement on her face at the sight. "I'm just a random and unfortunate passer-by who happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time."

Tiffany suddenly turned apologetic. She asked in a small voice, "How much did we mess up?"

Taeyeon dismissed it. "It's done now. I already agreed, remember?"
 
Tiffany nodded but her eyes still looked unconvinced.
 
"I'll do my best to portray this role that you need." Taeyeon wanted to force a reassuring smile but she was afraid it might come off as a grimace, so she just stayed serious instead.

"Thank you," was all Tiffany said. She bowed a little towards her.

Taeyeon returned the gesture awkwardly.

We're supposed to be in a relationship, and she bows at me. Taeyeon held back a small smile. It was unforced, but she still held that back.

A comfortable silence enveloped them both after. Taeyeon thought of other things to talk about apart from her background, to make Tiffany feel at ease around her still-a-stranger status. But then again, even with a full stomach, she couldn't think of any.

She looked out front, and their reflection on the window glass suddenly caught Taeyeon's attention. It showed the two of them, standing side-by-side. Herself, in her short shorts and white top, and Tiffany, in a comfortable one-piece dress.

They were silent, contemplative. The two of them looked occupied with their own thoughts.
At least the younger girl was, while Taeyeon was busy observing. Images of Tiffany occupying her thoughts. 

Everything looked so right...

…Before everything seemed to shift.

It was as sudden as the hopeful thoughts…ideas their reflection seemed to inspire. Taeyeon felt nauseous.

Howling wind and grating sounds resounded in her head.
Ugly memories clouded her head, pulling her back to the cold, harsh reality.
 
Tiffany shifted beside her, about to say something. But Tiffany's next words were not exactly what she wanted to hear.

"Do—Do you have a lover, a girlfriend, anyone that we need to know, and be cautious about?"

Taeyeon's head automatically turned to the guest room, where she had left her phone. She thought of Jessica, the unanswered phonecalls that hung in her head, the contract, and all the promises her father said she couldn't keep.

She turned around again, and Tiffany's wide eyes were watching her.

Do I have a lover, she asked.

Taeyeon held back a rueful, dry laugh. Tiffany would have to wait for the answer that would never come.
 
Instead, Taeyeon said, "There's one thing..."
 
Tiffany waited.

"Let's not..." Taeyeon's voice trailed off, struggling for the right words that wouldn’t lead anything to, or give false pretenses.

'Let's not fall for each other,' she wanted to say.
But looking at Tiffany's expectant eyes, she found difficult.
 
She tried again.

"Involving emotions in this would complicate things more, so let's not... You know what I mean."

Tiffany looked slightly taken aback with her upfront-yet-not-so-upfront suggestion. Taeyeon thought that the younger girl would be sensitive about it...

...But Tiffany agreed. "Sure. That would be... yeah."

Taeyeon searched Tiffany's face. She couldn't see anything that could give Tiffany away. She felt dreadful, all the same.

Tiffany nodded her head, a little insistent. "We’re just pretending for my Mom's sake."
 
"And I'm just someone you pulled out of the streets," Taeyeon grimly added. "Let's keep it that way."
 
"Yeah, we're just pretending..."

Taeyeon’s throat started getting tight.

She didn't know exactly what made her upset: thoughts of Jessica and their unanswered phonecalls... or the fact that she had pictured herself being together with Tiffany...with a girl she had just met.

With a stranger she had agreed to have a ruse with.

And Taeyeon didn't know exactly where it came from, but the reality of it all just hit her, unexpectedly.
 
Along with the need to blame.
 
The need to hurt.
 
To push.

* * *

After what Taeyeon had asked a while ago, the older girl looked somehow relieved. She still seemed edgy but her actions were considerably more at ease compared to how she was before. As if a heavy weight was lifted from her shoulders.
 
Tiffany couldn't say the same for herself though. The things Taeyeon had asked of her never crossed her mind. From the three-day breaks to clothes, to that 'emotions like love, not allowed' thing that was just brought up.

'Can I have strawberry yoghurt every day?'
'Get me a treadmill.'
'I like shoes a lot. Can I have a shelf full of new shoes? Or a room full of new shoes?'
 
She had expected those…
She even dreaded accidentally choosing someone who would ask for those.

She could afford just the yoghurt supply, or the small shelf full of shoes if ever those things were asked.

But from Taeyeon, it was, "Let's not involve emotions in this..."
 
Tiffany argued with herself that she was just intrigued with Taeyeon. She didn't know why she was getting defiant and defensive for. She just asked for the girl to pose as her girlfriend, not to be actually loved. She argued harder.

Although she couldn't remember the feeling anymore when she had first felt love, and even if she could only remember the hurt, she believed she wasn't the type who would easily fall in love. Worry for both her mother and for her current predicament was what she was generally feeling. She had no room for love, she was sure.
 
And then, there went Taeyeon, bringing it all up. As if one breath from the older girl’s slightly-parted lips could make her swoon. 

Like what Uncle Jiho had said, she was stuck with a haughty brat.
 
A stubborn and intriguing brat.
 
A beautiful stranger. A term constantly used in electro-pop song titles but fitted Taeyeon like a pair of customized gloves.
 
And... Taeyeon was apparently and already spoken for.
 
There you go.

Tiffany didn't know what to expect next, but she guessed that there would be more of those strange requests coming in the duration of the year. 
 
Taeyeon cleared beside her.
 
"Like what I've said, I'll do my best to portray this role that you need," the older girl said. Her voice seemed to turn a bit business-like, and there was a hint of determination in it that made Tiffany shiver.
 
A promise to be with her all the way.
Tiffany would like to think that.
 
...But what do I need? What do I need from her exactly? She wondered, absentmindedly giving a small bow again, still lost in her thoughts.
 
When she looked up, Taeyeon was smiling at her... It seemed so. It was only a hint of a smile, and it looked strained, but Tiffany was sure that it was a smile.
 
And for a moment, Tiffany couldn't think of anything anymore.

* * *

"So what's the goal now?"
 
Taeyeon and Tiffany both sat on the same couch, with only a couple of feet of space between them. They both looked up at Sunny who was standing in the middle of the living room. One pair of eyes was expectant while hers were still expressionless.
 
Sunny stood in front of them with an authoritative stance, her eyes glinting in mischief. She brought along a white board, its front concealed from their view.
 
They already had dinner when Sunny came back earlier that night. And even then, Tiffany’s foster sister was already in a serious-coach mode. She pointed out repeatedly that they 'should always sit close to each other at the dining table, with elbows knocking while stealing shy glances at each other.'
 
Sunny stared at the both of them for a good 10 seconds before she did her introduction.
 
"Since we now have someone to present to Mom..."
 
Tiffany nodded in affirmation beside her.
Taeyeon grimly turned her attention on a spot on the carpeted floor beside Sunny's feet.
 
Sunny told Tiffany, "Although we could have settled for that tall college girl who—"
 
"Sunny-ah."

"Oh, sorry, didn't see her there."
 
Tiffany turned to face her, and met her eyes. The girl offered a silent apology, which Taeyeon dismissed by nodding once.
 
Sunny's eyebrows suddenly shot up. "Did something happen?"
 
She and Tiffany looked up, wide-eyed.
 
"What did you two talk about while I was away?" the foster sister asked again, narrowing her eyes.
 
Tiffany fidgeted in her seat, clearly uncomfortable.
 
"The room feels less stuffy even with her in here." Sunny observed Tiffany closer. Cocking her head towards Taeyeon's direction, she asked, "Should I give her credit for that?"
 
Taeyeon opened to say something, but—
 
"I guess not."
 
Taeyeon bit the insides of .
 
With an air of disinterest, Sunny resumed coach-mode. "Our goal now is to make the two of you look like a couple. A convincing one. A blissful and sickeningly-sweet couple exuding pheromones, and rainbows, with fairies that blow pink bubbles around you. The more you make me gag and cringe, the better."
 
Sunny reached behind her, and held out the board she had brought over.
 
"And these will definitely make you close..." Sunny flipped it to reveal a list written with black and red markers.
 
And Tiffany diligently read them out loud.
 
"Number one, Be Friends
Number two, Stay Friends (if you can)
Three, Kiss...
Four, Make-out..."
 
And the last one, Tiffany didn't read:
 
No. 5: (optional)

Taeyeon sat up straighter. She stole a glance beside her and saw Tiffany redden. 
 
"Sunny-ah... Can we stop now?" The younger girl asked in a timid voice.
 
Taeyeon shook her head, and muttered, "I can't believe I'm listening to an inexperienced—"
 
"I was just lifting up the mood," Sunny reasoned out cheekily, letting the board fall to the floor.
 
"Well, you're doing it wrong." Tiffany groaned.
 
Taeyeon cleared , and said, "Look, this is a big jump we're doing. Maybe we should take it slow and let Tiffany get comfortable with me first."
 
Sunny stared at Taeyeon as if she was seeing her for the first time. "Wow. You can talk," she said, faking amazement. "Other than 'I'm not the type who pays for ,' and 'assume away.'"

Taeyeon eyed the foster sister dryly.

"We don't have the luxury 'to take it slow,' Taeyeon-sshi," Sunny pointed out, patiently. "If Tiffany had that in the first place, you wouldn't be here."
 
Tiffany tightened her grip on the fabric of her dress. 
Taeyeon had a sudden urge to hold the girl’s hand.
 
"Just kiss and break this awkward phase already!" Sunny blurted out, raising her hands up in frustration.
 
Tiffany suddenly grabbed a couch pillow from beside her and threw it at Sunny who only ducked. The pillow landed on the other side of the room with a dull sound. Sunny just smirked back at Tiffany while flipping her non-existent long hair over her shoulders.
 
"If you don't want that, we could either be patient, which is not really an option at all, and let you two get close naturally... Or you could attack Taeyeon-sshi with your appeal, and make her jump you."
 
Tiffany sank back in her seat, defeated.
 
"Okay, okay... I'm stopping now," Sunny said softly. With a tired huff, she sat down on the couch opposite them and observed Taeyeon.
 
"Taeyeon-sshi, Tiffany prefers you to have none of these but do you have any theatrical background?” She asked in a solemn tone. “School plays? Been on a stage before?" 
 
"This line of questioning, can you not?" Taeyeon asked back.
 
"Why not?” Sunny’s look was incredulous. “They’re harmless questions."
 
Taeyeon eyed the other girl evenly. "Okay then. No. No. Yes. Respectively."
 
"What's that?"
 
"My answers."
 
Sunny breathed out loudly, exasperated. "I should have known you're this difficult the moment you almost bit Dr. Han's hand that day."
 
Tiffany turned to Taeyeon with wide eyes. "You did?"
 
Her heart jumped a bit at the younger girl’s sudden attention. "'Almost,'" she clarified, indignantly. "Get your facts straight, Sunny-sshi. Dr. Han was pinching my cheeks. Hard."
 
"She found that adorable," Sunny told her foster sister while pointing a lazy finger at Taeyeon.
 
Tiffany beamed. She looked at her—
 
With pride in her eyes?

Taeyeon was surprised.
 
Tiffany was smiling... glowing.
 
The younger girl’s face showed a set of white teeth in an open grin, and a perfect display of an eye-smile Taeyeon hadn't seen on Tiffany before...hadn't witnessed on anyone else before. The pair of eyes that Taeyeon had first noticed seemed to magnify its effect on her tenfold. Tiffany’s smile seemed to light up her whole countenance, reaching... affecting Taeyeon, with so much ease that it almost made the corners of her own lips twitch upwards involuntarily.
 
Taeyeon stared at her, half in amazement, and the other half... amazed still.
 
Until her mind wandered back to the image of a sleeping puppy illustrated on her new mug.
And she inwardly balked. Is she seeing a cute puppy in me?
 
Before Taeyeon could think it over, Tiffany suddenly excused herself, and ran to her bedroom.
 
"Where are you go—Fany—" Sunny tried to call out after her.
 
But Tiffany had slammed her bedroom door behind her.
 
Taeyeon broke out of her daze, and turned to Sunny expectantly.
 
The other girl heaved a deep sigh. "She—she's not usually like that."
 
Another door slammed.
 
Taeyeon nodded her head.
 
"No, really. You can get close to her in no time."
 
Taeyeon nodded once more.
 
When Tiffany came back, she was all serious again, striding out of her room as if she just didn't leave them hanging a while ago.
 
"What did you do in there?" Sunny asked hotly, standing up as Tiffany resumed her previous position on the couch. "You left me alone with her for five minutes!"
 
Tiffany gave Taeyeon a small smile before turning her full attention back at Sunny.
 
Sunny lifted an eyebrow, eyeing them like a hawk. "Something did happen! Did you two kiss already while I was away?"
 
Then Sunny went over and pulled Tiffany up into a tight hug, giving her a congratulatory pat on the back. "Fany-ah, I underestimated you."
 
Tiffany groaned. "Stop kidding around."
 
"I'm joking about it because I know it didn't happen, and won't happen anytime soon." Sunny held Tiffany at an arm's length and added, "Even though you chose her, do you think I approve of that for my sister?"
 
She pulled Tiffany again into a bear hug, and said a little softly, "I'm sorry for taking this lightly but it’s been tough on both of us. Don't be too hard on yourself."
 
The younger girl gave a light squeeze into the hug before they let go.

Taeyeon watched the two sisters from the corner of her eyes, and she wondered to herself... if she could actually make a difference for these people she just met.

"Please excuse me, I need to go now," Sunny addressed the both of them. "Leaving you two again to talk might actually help."
 
Sunny looked at the wall clock, and quickly bade them good night. "Learn to act like a convincing couple. I want ‘delightful and disgusting,’ okay?"
 
Before closing the door behind her, Sunny sized Taeyeon up again from head to toe. Taeyeon almost rolled her eyes.
 
Once Sunny was out of 19B, the apartment was once again back to its silent state.
 
Taeyeon gradually became aware of the proximity between her and Tiffany on the couch. She didn't dare to even shift on her seat.
 
Tiffany heaved a tired sigh. She leaned her forehead on her palm, and closed her eyes.
 
Taeyeon suddenly thought of Jessica, how she couldn't remember her first ever conversation with Jessica anymore. Was she as uneasy back then? She remembered Jessica's shy smile while talking about her love for photography over coffee and mint tea. But Taeyeon honestly couldn't remember anything more than that. She couldn't even recall what she contributed to the conversation.
 
Was it about her wants in life? Taeyeon wasn’t sure. That was still a hollow area.
 
Did I compliment how pretty Jessica looked? She thought as she observed the way Tiffany's shoulder tensed up when she became aware of her staring.
 
Was it also so awkward that it was making her wish that they could just skip over the whole getting-to-know phase, and start making out?
 
"I didn't know that it would be this..." Tiffany trailed off, stealing a glance at her.
 
Taeyeon grimly nodded.
 
"Do you need to take a break?" The younger girl asked.
 
"No, I'm okay." Her voice came out raspy.

Although she had immense love for slow , she wasn’t enjoying what their closeness was doing to her nerves.
 
She believed that once she set the boundaries between them, it would be easier. That after indirectly saying 'let's not fall in love,' the both of them would just act professionally, grit their teeth through the process of overcoming physical awkwardness.
 
Taeyeon had tried force before, and it stained her greatly. She had done it out of pure selfishness, and hurt the first person who had embraced her. She vowed never to do it again.
 
Especially to someone like Tiffany.
 
Taeyeon had succeeded with Jessica.
And she planned on doing the same to the girl in front of her.
 
Tiffany was sitting not more than two feet away from her.
 
Still so far away.
Still a long way to go.
 
Pain started mounting at the pit of her stomach. It made her wish that Sunny's back with another crappy list showing ‘How to Touch First Base with Tiffany Hwang.’
 
"I—I agree with what you suggested earlier," Tiffany began again. "And I'm glad you thought about letting me get comfortable with you first."
 
The younger girl picked the board on the floor, and carefully traced the words on number two with a thumb. "But Sunny also has a point."
 
Taeyeon watched Tiffany carefully, and reassessed the situation...her feelings.
 
She was already in this mess.
Might as well make it a presentable mess.
 
"I meant what I said a while ago," Taeyeon started. "That I will portray the role that you need."

She braved the distance between them, and leaned a bit closer. "Even , I will consider that."
 
Tiffany stared at her with wide eyes. Just like how they looked when they agreed on setting emotional detachment.
 
"Of course, it all depends on you, Tiffany," Taeyeon went on.
 
She had set her own boundaries, built a wall around herself. It wouldn't crumble no matter what she was going to do next.
 
"Tell me what you want."

And Tiffany’s eyes turned soft. She said, "Hold my hand."
In a gentle, toneless, almost in a whisper...
 
Not suggesting, not inviting.
 
It welcomed no more discussion.
 
And for a moment, Taeyeon couldn't think of anything else anymore.