YOUR POV

I am sitting in my bed helplessly as I think of a way to make my fiancé Woohyun to be happy in his remaining days to live. He had been diagnosed to have a lung cancer 3 months ago, and he only has 7 days to live, when I first heard that, my heart crashed thoroughly I couldn’t even move, I felt like someone stabbed me endlessly, I felt so useless. How could the world be so cruel? Why it has to be him? Out of all the guys who are useless in this world, why would it have to be him?

I sighed, that’s all I can do, sigh and look at my wedding dress that I’ll be wearing soon. I thought my life would be perfect when I married him, when I stay by his side, when I see his presence. I thought I would be happy. I never knew this would happen, I never expect to be hurt like this, I never expect to have so much burden in me, I never expect to be dying inside.

“Hey” my mom’s presence distracted me. I wiped off my tears and smiled at her “Hi”

“You should not cry, you should at least be happy because he still have 7 days to live, don’t you think?” my mom said, she’s right, I shouldn’t be crying I should be happy, I should be my his side, I should make him feel that he’s okay, I should make him feel that I won’t leave him no matter what, that I should always cheer him up, that I should always make him laugh and pretend that everything’s alright. I should do that.

“Or at least find someone else, so you wouldn’t be hurt that much”

Dang that hits me real hard, does she know what’s she’s saying? Is she crazy? I wont do that to him, I love him

“And what makes you say that? You don’t even know what I feel right now.” With that I stormed out the room. I couldn’t believe what I’ve heard.  Everyone tells me to give up already, because it’s over, he’ll be gone. But what hurts the most is he knowing me that I have someone else, that no one will take care of him, that no one would love him because he’s going to die. I don’t want him to feel that way. I want him to be happy; I want him to smile everyday.

I sat on the bench and watch the sun goes down, just like what Woohyun and I did when we were dating. I missed it, I missed his laughter, and he couldn’t laugh. I miss on how the way we used to play. I missed the way we are before.

I gently opened the door making sure that Woohyun won’t wake up; I sat on the chair next to his bed and stared at him. Just looking at him makes me cry, I couldn’t afford seeing him like this. I missed him so badly, and I wanted to kill myself, it’s killing me inside, it’s falling me apart, it destroys me little by little.