My Fairytale
Belong To You
You keep walking opposing the wind that blows from the north. You have no idea where your feet lead you to. You stare to the sky and see a bird flies across the bridge you walk on.
You’re jealous to it.
Just like the bird, you also want to fly to that sky. Vast… high… no limits…
So you take out your shoes. You climb up the fence of Hangang railway bridge until you reach to the peak without fail. You ignore the burned feeling on your feet because of the hot bar fences. As Minah, no one will believe that you can climb up one of the biggest bridge in Seoul because you used to pretend as a weak girl who was not good in sport. But now, you have no reason to hide that anymore.
While you’re climbing, the road is just like usual, being filled with a number of cars that passing by. It is only the sound of car machines and their klaxon. But slowly another sounds join the crowd. Some yelling and screaming? You aren’t sure either because you don’t look down below.
Finally you reach the peak of the bridge. The bar you walk on is quite narrow but you’re still confidence with your body balance.
You see nothing but a blue sky of Seoul and a green water of Han River.
You hear an additional sound again. A sirene. For the first time, you think it’s sound like a flute. Combining with the other sounds creates such a melodical music that make you want to sing a song….
Do nothing but cry
Day and night
In a narrow space between past and future
Your memories will stay unchanged
Even if you turn them into beautiful lies... you're all alone
Your voice goes out quite well eventhough you never sing like this before since you always faked your own voice in front of everyone.
But now you can sing freely so you lift up your hands then sway them from right to left and viceversa. Sometimes you turn around and around make the screaming below you become louder. It make you giggling for a moment before you sing again.
Your tears flow
Into an unlimited nocturnal sky...
Once more
Oh my Dahlia
Your heart filled with sorrow
Turns into an unfinished number of stars
You don't know where
You're going to
In distress you have deploy your wings of loneliness
Beyond an ocean of tears
You'll see blue sky
Even in a shapeless dream
Refugee on the tomorrow's winds
Flap your wings... now
You want to transform yourself to be like a bird so you spread your both arms. The wind touches your face gently as you close your eyes then let the wind you into your past. The start of beginning….
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Flashback
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The first memory you remember is when you woke up from a white sheet bed. You sat then stared into nothing but white wall. A morning breeze touched your right ear so you turned to the side and saw a boring view of white building from the opened window.
You felt a sting on your head. There was no mirror to be found in that room. You touched your head and could feel a fabric wrapped your head in a tight bind. Then you also felt another sting feeling on your right shoulder once you lifted your arm. The same fabric also wrapped around it but it was less tighter than another one. You took a peek into it and found a brown wrinkle shaped skin like it had been burned before. You really didn’t like the view of it.
The silent that conquered the room was finally broken by the sound of the door being opened. You turned around and saw a woman entered the room. She gave you an uncomfortable feeling with the way she looked at you, the way she stepped without creating any noises.
She eyed you for a moment much like a hatred than a worried one. She carried you with her arms then got out of the room. You even didn’t have a chance to ask ‘who are you?’ to her. The things happened too fast as you found yourself sitting on a bench between a crowded area.
“Wait here!” she said.
You obeyed but you still didn’t like her. You waited, waited, and waited but there was no sign of that woman to come back. There were already 5 of long box with a lot of wheels below it passed you. But then from some people’s conversation who passed by, you finally knew that the long box was called as Train.
You’re starting to feel hungry. You gulped countless time once you saw a man was eating a brown thing with red liquid in it. You desperately keep staring at the man until a girl voice stole your attention.
“Omma, I want to eat ice cream again” said the girl who held a woman’s hand tight with her little hand.
“You already eat one dear” the woman said while rubbing a white liquid on the girl’s lip.
Omma? What is omma? You wondered if the woman who left you earlier was called Omma too but you doubted it afterward when you remembered that woman’s expression was far to be the same as the woman who’s called as Omma by that girl. That omma had this warm and pleasant feeling around her. That time you wanted to call her by Omma too.
You stood from the bench and walked toward them. You held the woman’s free hand “Omma” you said as you looked up at her.
“Yah, she’s my omma!! Not yours!!!!!” the girl yelled at you then pushed you hard until you fell to the floor. You flinched and touched your shoulder because of the stinged pain. You groaned and closed your eyes to prevent the tears that wanted to break out.
“Seohyun-ah, you shouldn’t doing that!!” the woman warned the girl.
She knelt before you “What’s your name dear? Where is your omma and appa?”
“Name? what is name? Omma Appa?” you asked with so much curiosity. The woman’s expression changed after that. She helped you to stand and called a man with uniform.
“I think this kid is lost” she said to the man.
“We have to go. I hope your parent find you dear” she said while caressed your cheek.
“Omma, palli!!! We have to meet Appa soon” the girl whined. They went to leave him with the man in uniform. You remembered she sticked her tounge toward you before she left with her omma.
The night came, you found yourself being brought to an old building. The man in uniform brought you to a room where an old woman with glasses welcomed you with a kind smile.
“You can call me Madam Park. What’s your name?”
“What is name?” you asked back. You wondered why everyone asked you with the same question.
She saw your bandage then sighed “I see”. She caressed you cheek “I am sure you have a smile as bright as a sun. I hope you can find that smile here dear” she said.
Afterward, she handed you to another old woman whose name Madam Shin but this time you had a bad impression with her “Chkh… another kid again? What this girl name?” she asked. You wanted to correct her that you’re a boy but you discouraged that thought. You didn’t like her. In your eyes, she looked like an old fatty woman.
“I think this kid lost his memory. Until we find a proper name, just call him Sun from now !!!” Madam Park said with a loud voice. You stared at her while rubbing your ear. She then leaned close to you and whispered “She have bad hearing. You must speak louder to her”.
Madam Shin guided you to a big ward with a lot of kids. She looked at you “You please behave. Don’t expect to be treated specially here. Arasso?!! Your bed is over there beside Victoria” she pointed out the direction before she left.
You walked toward the bed and sat on it. Another kids approached you “What’s your name?” one girl asked you.
“I don’t have name. But Madam Park call me Sun”
“Woah this girl is so pretty” said a boy who stood in front of you. Girls looked disliked the compliment so you said “I am a boy” .
“Jincha? But you do look like a girl!!!” a girl that previously mentioned as Victoria said with a loud voice. Another girls that looked older than her eyed to each other then grinned. You don’t know what it meant until the other day, they kept offering you girl clothes to wear.
Victoria. She’s popular and nice to all kids in the orphanage. She’s pretty, bright, looked like had no problem in her life just as opposite as you were. You couldn’t smile as wide as her. You wondered maybe you became like this because you didn’t have name.
“Hi, do you want to eat this? It’s very delicious” she approached you with a bowl of pumpkin soup at lunch time.
She’s nice you thought. But you also disliked her to not let you alone and kept bothering you with stupid fairytale stories. All you did was only being silent but she couldn’t stop.
You took the bowl and tried a taste. “From now on I call you Pumpkin” she said. You did like the soup but it didn’t mean you liked to be called as pumpkin. That’s the first time you thought she’s annoying.
One day, that was your shift to clean Madam Park’s room. She left the orphanage for several days because of personal matter. When you meant to open the door, you saw a man stood before Madam Park’s desk while Madam Shin sat on Madam Park’s chair acted like the head of orphanage.
“I need to find the kid with this birthmark on right shoulder. Her parents desperately want to find her” he showed a photo to her. “I heard adoption process is difficult and quite expensive but I will give you 30% of my paid if you make it quick” the man said.
Madam Shin scoffed “Only 30%?”.
You wanted to laugh while peeking that Madam Shin was so deaf to everything but money. You saw the man wrote something on a paper. Probably the digits of money he would give by looking the way Madam Shin smirked. But another thing did nudge you about the fact that the man searched a kid with birthmark on the right shoulder. Then you recalled your last conversation with Victoria.
“With this birthmark, I hope my parent can find me” she showed you her birthmark. But what surprised you wasn’t how peculiar the mark was but how it’s looked exactly as same as yours.
“What is parent?”
“Huh you don’t know? Parent are people who give you name. Omma is a person who always holds your hand, hugs you to warm, gives you a delicious meal, and takes care of you when you sick. Then Appa is a person who play with you everyday, piggyback you, kiss you on your cheek, and read a Cinderella story for you”
“Name…” you touched your own shoulder. You also hoped your own parent would find you and told you your real name….
For every kids in the orphanage, to meet their real parent or be adopted by new couple was their dream. After the talk with Victoria, it became your dream too. You had been waiting and kept waiting but no one come to you. Kids one by one got adopted by their new parent. You were starting to feel scared to be left alone. And this time the kid who had high change to be taken and found a new family was Victoria. The kid who never felt sadness even for once.
You heard Madam Shin would do inspection to every room by tomorrow to find the kid. She promised to the man that she would process the document as soon as possible.
Then this certain plan across your mind. Maybe you’re gambling but it’s nothing to loose if the scar on your shoulder did resemble the birthmark that the man’s looking for or not. You just didn’t want Victoria left the orphanage before you and lived a happy life without even remembering you.
So when the inspection time came, you managed locking her in a toilet without she realized.
You stood in line with another kids. Madam Shin and the man you saw the day before stood in front of you all. Madam Shin pulled the fabric of everyone’s clothes and showed the man their right shoulder. The man kept shaking his head as he didn’t find the mark he looked for. But It’s only until Madam Shin approached you and revealed the scar on your shoulder. The man stared at it for long. Your heart’s beating like crazy. The man’s eyebrows frowned then he nodded with a satisfied smile.
“It’s this kid” he said.
Then the man guided you into another room. That day you did dressed like a girl not because crazy nunas dressed you again but you dressed youself by your own.
“Here you go girl. Go meet your parent” he said.
“My parent?” you said when you met a couple stood from sofa. They stared at you with teary eyes especially the female.
She came to approach you “Minah-ah, this is your Omma” she said with smiling eventhough her eyes filled with tears. She pulled the fabric of your cloth and saw the scar. She quickly hugged you tight. But you like her embrace. It’s warm and cozy.
“Minah?” you asked.
The other man knelt beside her and carress your cheek “That’s your name Minah. And I am your Appa” he smiled at you.
They brought you to their car. You said you didn’t need to say a goodbye to your friends because you already did that before.
You reached your new house. It’s big. Just like in the fairytale Victoria told you. You walked and held your new parent hands just like in your dream. Then a boy who looked older than you run to your direction.
“Appa…Omma!!! Is she our Minah?” he asked excitedly.
Your new father nodded “Yes Kyuhyun-ah. Now our family become perfect again”
The kid hugged you then kissed you on your cheek. The hug and the kiss were felt different from your new parent. You touched your cheek. There’s an odd tingling sensation as you didn’t know what the name of this kind of feeling.
“Who are you?”
“I am your Oppa. Kyuhyun Oppa”
You smiled. It’s the first time you felt really happy as you thought you did the right thing….
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End of Flashback
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TBC
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A/N : the song that sungmin sang here is lyrics of song Dahlia from X Japan
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