You look in front of a mirror only you and god know how long. You wear a gawn your mother gave you, a silver necklace from your father, and a pink hairpin from your beloved oppa. You have a long wavy hair, the scent of your vanilla shampoo is still freshly smelled from it. Everyone likes it. As a gratitude, you would always say thank you, but you know it never suit you.

Today is your oppa’s wedding. He will marry someone you knew in the past when you were still in that orphanage. Someone you hate from beginning you met her. Someone who will always be happy if you aren't exist in this world. You recognized her the first time you met her after 15 years, but she didn’t. You were glad she never did.

Is this really a fate or God want to punish me?

That was the question you always thought whenever you saw her eyes. They were like want to take back something from you. Something that from beginning was belong to her. Your place and also someone you love more than a brother.

Min, I hope you wish us an eternal happiness

When he said those words, all the bricks in your chest were cracked into pieces. You tried to cry, even hitting your own chest but tears only stood to the corner of your eyes. They didn't have any willing to wash your pain. It really felt hurts.

You loves him. He is still the one who you have always loved and adored secretly. The one who always handed over his warm embrace onto you. The one who always said that you were his and only his, no one would take you without his permission.

But there he is, in the church, with the woman whom you will never allow to have him, your oppa. Even God is on your side this time. Because every religion never allows it happens.

“Kyu Oppa….” You paused for a moment. You imagine his figure stands in front of you. You give a lip smile and look at him “Maybe this is the time I reveal the truth. I swore I never would say this before but it seems God doesn’t let me become Cho Min Ah anymore… if I can’t have you, then she won’t either…”.

You close your eyes. A sudden change of your voice tone hints an amount of water want to break from your eyes. You let out some chuckles for a moment. Why when I want to give up all, they finally want to break off?

You take a long breath again. You open a drawer below your dress table to take a scissor. You look back to the mirror again, you pull some of your hair then cut them without caring what style they become to.

You cut them short. Very short. You pull out your gawn. You throw your necklace and hairpin to the floor. You remove your make up and your fake bra.

Now, there is no hints of a cheerful girl Cho Min Ah anymore.

You arrive to the church. You take a seat on the last row. You have stolen your brother’s clothes. The sleeves are too long makes your hand looks sinked. But after all, even with the same face with Min Ah, no one recognize you because you dress as a mature man for the first time in your life to remember.

A wedding song is played loudly through the church. A long red carpet has been rolled out to the altar. A lot of baskets of flower are stood prettyly along the both side. You see your brother stand before the altar. As always, he looks so handsome, his brown hair are arranged nicely even without using a gel, his charm radiates with no end  especially in a black tuxedo. For a moment, you remember his words 12 years ago when you played piggy back with him.

“Min ah, you know I will never allow anyone to marry you”

“Huh, wae oppa?”

“Because you’re mine”

“Then who will take care of me when you get married and your wife will take you to see Eiffel tower?”

“Eiffel tower? Hahaha that’s a good idea”

(whined) “Aaaang…… oppa….”

“Ummmm, I think I can’t marry anyone because there is no girl who’s as cute as you”

“You promise you will never leave me?”

“I promise my cutey Min….”

“Ah… oppa don’t pinch my cheek!!”

You scoff and let out a mocked smile after recalling that memory. What a liar…

She is probably still in the bride room. With the white gawn that you used to stare in a wedding shop whenever you happened to pass that place every weekend. That’s another reason you hate her. Always liking the same thing and the same man.

You see your mother and father sit on the first row. Your mother looks nervous with hand still holding her phone, probably busy calling you as you turned off your phone and dumped it to a closet.

Then everyone stands. All eyes are watching the bride entering the main door. Most of them murmur how beautiful the bride with that gawn. She smiles widely and often drops her head because of shy with everyone’s staring. But it isn’t the one you hate the most now. You bite your lower lip. Your hands are also trembling now as you see the way your brother smiles directly to her and offers a hand.

But your lip quickly changes to a smirk when someone you paid has come to your mother and hand over your letter. After a moment, you can see the changes of her face colour. She falls to her seat gasping with shockness which had been drawn all over her face. She’s crying. Your father seems to get curious then take your letter and read it. You can see his hands are shaking while holding your letter.

“Now, everyone please back to your seat” Pastor Ken said to everyone. “Now, we will start the ceremon__ Mr.Cho?” he stops when your father comes to him and whispers about something. The room become quiet. The song for ceremony is stopped when the church staf receives a hand sign from the pastor.. Your brother approaches your crying mother, look like asking what has happened.

You also see your father hand over the letter you wrote to the bride. As soon as she finishes reading, tears easily volunteers to break crazily from her eyes. You want to laugh to her expression. You find an enjoyment seeing her tears. Finally, the one who shamelessly snatched your beloved oppa and dominated him for her own only now loses her usual cheerful smiles.

~~~~~*****~~~~~

To :

Mr. and Mrs. Cho

From my handwriting, you surely know who am I, right?

It’s me. You two let me used name Cho Min Ah as you thought of me as your lost daughter who disappearead 22 years ago since birth.

You found me in that orphanage and bluntly recognized me as your child just because I happened having the same birthmark on my right shoulder.

But the truth is I got that mark not since I was born. It’s a scar.

The real one is belong to another kid who had no idea why I locked her in a toilet the day you come to the orphanage.

She’s close to you now. Her name is Victoria.

I reveal this truth because I can’t let Kyuhyun-shi to marry his biological sister.

I know I don’t have any actual prove at the moment but if you hand this to Victoria she will know.  Please ask her does she know a kid who used she called as pumpkin? Tell her that it's me.

Now,  as I have revealed the truth, I have to go away since the place I belong until today from beginning is for Victoria not me.

I really want to say my real name but actually I never have one that really belong to me. I don’t belong to anyone from beginning and neither do I belong to anyone in the end.

Thanks for taking care of me in 15 years.

~~~~~*****~~~~~

She keeps shaking her head “No…. No…. This is impossible. Oppa, tell me she’s lying. Tell me she only want our wedding to fail. No…. Nooooo!!!!!!” her scream is echoed through the church then everyone is in chaos when the bride faints and falls to the floor.

After taking a short glance to your fake family, you bring yourself out from the church. You walks and keep walking without a certain direction. Your sad, anger, disappointment, betrayed, love, and happiness slowly disappeared one by one as you keep walking until you don’t even remember that you happened had those kind of feelings. The more you think about it the more you realize that you don’t deserve to have them because you are no one.

Just like you said in your last letter, you don’t have name. No name is belong to you. You don’t belong to anyone from beginning and neither do you belong to anyone in the end. So what’s the use to life when you couldn’t find your own root?

At this time, the only solution for you is to end your life. No one will cry for you though, and no one will take responsibility to your funeral either because there is no one ever exist without a name…

TBC

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This is the first time I make Sungmin with this bad character. This is not full angst (you know I never like a sad ending kekeke.....). Thanks for commenting and subscribing guys ^^. Please give me comments about this chapter ^^. If you don't mind, I plan to make a future mpreg in this story. How do you think? ^^