I am no one
Belong To You
In the time which passes
You carry unchanging injuries
Which flutter in winds of oppression
Embrace the blue night
Question your tomorrows
In your heart filles with contradiction... Oh my Dahlia
For whoever has scars in their heart
The rain streams
You’re singing again. The last two phrases sound shaking because your lip’s trembling. You touch your right cheek. It’s wet. You look amazed at your wet fingers.
Tears come down… Finally they give some sympathy over how funny your life has. You disliked everyone told you looked like a girl but here you have spent your 15 years of life as one. And it became even worse when you fell in love with your fake brother who’s indeed a man.
You chuckle “how pathetic…”
You take a glance to the Han river. The water is quite calm. The surface looks like a green jelly not even sure how deep it has. The more you see, the more it looks darker right below you. You aren't sure whether you’re hallucinating or not but you feel you see a whirpool which desperately wants to you down.
You spread your arms again. You look up to the sky. Closing your eyes. Singing your last lyric as a goodbye because there will be no one who will sing at your funeral
Time after time,
You try to find yourself
Time after time
In the nocturnal sky
You question why are you born
Until your endless river of tears
Shines with a brilliant gold color
A mild breeze touches your face and gives you a farewell kiss. You smile as you let out your last tear drops. Then your body leans forward in a slow motion but not after someone out of the blue screaming.
“NO…!!!!”
You’re jolted for a second and open your eyes. Look so angry toward someone who's intruding your moment.
“Leave me alone” you shot him with a blade glare.
That person who you think has a funny face is gasping with sweat all over his face. Stand 5 feets from you. His both arms also spread to stay balanced on the metal bar but he can’t cover the fear of height on his eyes. If he’s scared so much why bother to climb up here? You thought. You both stared to each other for a moment.
You notice he’s wearing a live jacket and ropes is hanged on his left waist. You huffs “You should acting hero to a woman instead of…”
“Beau…beautiful” the man stuttered.
You frown “Excuse me?”
“I—I mean your voice. It’s beautiful”
The man takes a step “Don’t come near me!!” you warned him.
“My name… is Lee Hyukjae”
“ I don’t ask”
“Your voice is beautiful. It’s… it’s a pity if you waste that voice just because a bad slice of life”
There is a moment of silence around you two. Then your cold stare turns into a cold smile to the blonde man. You walk carelessly toward him until your feet fingers touches his. Your both height is almost same but he is slightly taller than you.
You intertwine your hand with his. You can feel his hands are trembling and wet with cold sweat. You glance back at him “Sing with me Hyukjae-shi...” you whispered to him.
You spread your hands with him. Swinging them up and down. You still can hear the screaming below you.
The icy wind blows
The birds what can't fly
Carry each one of your dreams
Into the daybreak's sky
Time after time
You cry in reality
The passing time stops
The flowers of your illusions will open out
You slowly release your hold on him then walk backward. This time you can’t prevent your tears staining your cheek and your tremble voice comes again
Destiny
Alive
Heaven
Love
Innocence
Always
Destroy
Aftermath
Hell
Life Infi—
“No !!!!” he screamed. You stop singing but it’s not because his screaming but something else. The man cries.
“Please…! Your road is still long. Maybe…maybe… you have through a lot but there’s still a happiness somewhere if you give a chance” he said with teary eyes. You aren’t sure whether he cries because of scare with the height or you. You usually enjoyed watching people cry but this is the first time you don’t find the joys of someone’s tears. He looks pitiful in your eyes when he’s crying. You think his face is still funny and look like a blonde monkey but you can see a sincerity behind his words.
“Your name is Lee Hyukjae right?” He nodded
You smile at him, but this time not a cold smile but the true one “And I am no one. Let’s see if I still have a chance” then you close your eyes and jump into the river.
The sunshine is so bright but you feel a cold breeze covering your body while gravitation you. Your body bumps hard to the water membrane, creating a huge amount of bubbles around you. You open your eyes and can see sun rays still be able to emerge through the water. You’re seeing a flashback. Your precious moment. Your precious person.
Oppa
********~~SJ~~********
You open your eyes slowly. You don’t know what just happened. The last memory you remember was when you jumped into Han River. You sigh. Maybe you’re in hospital but when you look at the ceiling above you. It’s familiar. It’s decorated with glow in the dark stars you used when you’re in high school.
“Minah!!”
Someone called your name. You turn your head to your right and face a smiling Kyuhyun with uniform beside you.
“Wake up sleeping beauty! We’re gonna late” he said after pulling your blanket make your toes curl with the cold.
“Oppa?” you sit on your bed. Looking confused while watching him opens the curtain.
He turns to face you “Of course I am your Kyuhyun oppa. Who else?” He comes to you and pecks your forehead.
You glance at him “So…so it was a dream?” you mumbled.
He chuckles and rubs your hair “What dream? Just take a bath then meet us in dining room, arachi??” then he leaves your room.
You smiles in relieve. It was just a dream. The wedding and Victoria. You think it’s not real at all and you’re still Cho Minah. You stand up and mean to walk to your bath room but when you pass a mirror, you stop in shockness.
You wear your favourite bed dress which had been lost 2 years ago. Your hair is still long. You have a straight bangs not the side one. The style you got when you’re in highschool. You glance at a calendar which’s hanged on the wall and approach it. It’s 7 December, 2005.
You gulp. You remember the uniform Kyuhyun wore when he’s here. That’s exactly a boy uniform of your highschool. You gasp. You can’t believe what’s happening to you. If it was just a dream, why do you wake up with your 16th appearance? Why the memories of your college life are still fresh and detailed in your brain?
You open the door and run down the stairs of your house. You arrive to the dining room with racing breaths. Your mom is preparing breakfast for all on the table. Your father with his antique glasses sits on the main chair reading a newspaper and sips his black coffee. Kyuhyun sat across him, attacking his own meal.
“Minah, you’ve dressed too long. Hurry! Take your seat dear. Here your breakfast” your mom says to you.
You look at your clothes. You don't wear your previous bed dress but uniform. The uniform with high collar which gave you an advantage to cover your adam apple. You also wear your fake bra.
You're sure you don’t remember that you changed your bed dress before. You ask yourself if this is a dream or you actually have died and experiencing your past happy memories.
You don’t care.
Dream or Death. Real or not. As long as you’re together with this family, you don’t mind to experiencing this moment again and again.
“Ne, Omma!!” you get back your happy smile again.
********~~SJ~~********
You both ride a bus school together. Keep holding hands side by side even after the bus arrives to your school. You both walk together through corridor. Everyone makes a way for you two.
Exactly like what you remembered. All student here admired you and Kyuhyun. A popular Cho sibling. Guys had a crush on you. Girls envied you, especially when you’re always attached to your brother everyday. Not less of them sent you a death glare or even threath letter but instead of scared you used your innocent image to deal with them. Tears were girls weakness but for you, it’s your strength to get everyone sympathy and defended you. Eventhough it’s just a fake tears.
Then two girls walk toward you two. When their eyes meet yours, they’re filled with fears and soon they quicken their steps. You can’t identify them at first, but after a moment of thinking you know who they are. They’re the girls who tried to bully you before along with their leader who’s at this time in a hospital for mental problem.
How weak you thought.
Just a week before this day, 4 pm at afternoon, three girls dragged you to a toilet, bumped you to the wall, grabbed your collar, and threat you with a knife. They scolded you with a lot of cuss words because you’re too close with Kyuhyun and didn’t let any girl near him. They said if you didn’t obey them they would scratch your face with the knife.
You giggled at the leader. Instead of feeling scared you managed to get out from their hold, catched the knife with your barehand while the other hand grabbed the leader’s neck. You ignored the pain and blood on your hand. You made her down to the floor as you sat on top of her. She’s too shock to record exactly what’s happening to her as you stared at her in a mere inches to her face. She couldn’t believe that she faced an innocent Cho Minah. Even horror movies never made her as scared as toward your dark glare.
Your grab on her neck was still tight. The other two girls hit you countless time and tried to pull you from her but it’s useless. You’re too strong. They couldn’t believe it. A part of their mind told them that you got possessed by a ghost or something because it’s impossible that Cho Minah who’s well known as a weakling in sport and always made some excuses to avoid swimming class tried to kill their leader.
You told her “How it feel huh? Do your eyes still see clearly now?” You asked then smiled at her “I guess not. You’re running out of oxygen, your face will become pale as your blood stream not flows well to your head. You will feel dizzy. Your body will be flounder hard at first then get slowly after. Your sight will be hazy until it become fully dark” you whispered to her.
“H—help” she begged you. The other girls also cried in desperate state.
“So you wanna life?” She nodded. You smiled again and attached your nose to her “Get lost and stay away from me and Kyuhyun. If you’re not, I will do this again or even worst” you said then release your grab.
She sat and crawled backward. Her friends approached her and asked if she’s okay but she didn’t answer and kept trembling.
“Who’s there?” Someone shouted from outside.
You quickly threw the knife to the floor, messed up your own hair, pulled out a button of your uniform and ripped your skirt.
“Help!!!” you shouted back.
Then that person broke the door and it happened to be Siwon, the president of student council. You run to him and hug him. You cried with a fake tears saying those three had bullied you. You said the leader hurted your hand, purposely choked her own neck until it got bruise then attached it to your hand and made it look as you tried to kill her.
And everything went just fine like you always believed. That everyone would always believe you.
********~~SJ~~********
You find yourself in a library, sitting on your special spot beside a window. From the outside there is a commotion of girl’s screaming toward a basketball match between third years and second years student. You remembered this moment. It’s when Kyuhyun team managed to reverse their score to be a winner and you know what made them win.
It’s you.
Now you’re sure that you’re experiencing your past memories because as you predicted, when times up for break came, Kyuhyun would take his phone and called you. He knew you’re in library, looked up toward the window, and smiled at you. Then you would take your phone from your pocket then he would ask you to come down there.
And it does happen now in front of your eyes that he is standing in front of you and suddenly kiss your cheek.
You look embarrassed and you can feel your cheek blushed because it happens in front of a lot of people.
You know what you will say at this time “Oppa, why did you…”
“For my lucky charm” he smiles widely at you then turns to the gapped Siwon who look at you with wides eyes..
You remember what his reason. It’s to make Siwon jealous and couldn’t concentrate with the match since he had a crush on you.
Then the scene before you changes. You aren’t in your school any more. Everything is white.
“Minah!!” There is Kyuhyun’s voice behind you. You turn around, facing your handsome yet brightly oppa. You smiles at him but not until a hand circle his arm.
It’s Victoria. She stands beside him smiling. Kyuhyun and she exchange a glance to each other like a lovely couple.
“Kyuhyun Oppa, we have to go” she says cutely while swaying his hand.
You want to say don’t leave but your voice can’t come out. They turn their back from you and leave you.
You keep screaming and screaming but they keep walking until their figure become smaller and smaller…
“NO!!!!!” You screamed with full force. You wake up panting with sweat. Your heart is beating fast, steady, and unregularly. You are in a room. Definitely not your room. Everything is white except the blue curtain beside you. You look around and at your other side you see a guy landed with his attached to the floor. He stared at you with a wide eyes in surprise. His expression of shock is quite comical.
It’s him. The guy you met on the railway bridge. And you still think he has a funny face.
...
But also cute…
TBC
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Thanks for subscribing and commenting guys ^^. I am sorry for the late update and wrong grammar. I am preparing for college final exam so I think I can't update regularly until January. Please support me and give me your thought about this chapter by commenting so I can keep writing ^^
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