My hiding spot behind the garbage cans gives me a clear view of the ticket booth and the entrance to the movie theater.

It is certainly not ideal. People are sending me strange looks as they walk toward the snack counter. It is humiliating. My pride might as well be glued to the bottom of my shoes along with the gum I stepped in a few minutes ago.

Normally, I would never do such a thing as this. It’s embarrassing to sit here like a crazed stalker next to a bin filled with day old popcorn and other unidentifiable foods. The floor is sticky from spilled drinks because people can’t be bothered to make sure their beverages actually end up where they belong instead of all over the floor beside it. My shoes make a nasty squelching noise when I move. One lady threw her trash in this direction without looking. It slid past the hole on top of the can and landed on me. There is now nacho cheese stuck to my suit jacket and in the front of my hair.

So no, this spot is not comfortable or fun to be in, but it does give me a clear view of where you will be walking in the front doors any moment and so I will stay. My comfort means less than you and now I am not afraid to admit it.

Well that is a lie… I am terrified to admit any such thing, especially after the trouble that I’ve caused you for the past couple of weeks. How could I have been so blind to the misery that I’ve subjected you to? That is exactly why even though I am petrified that you might laugh in my face when I say what needs to be said, I won’t hide from my feelings anymore. Except for right now of course, while I hide behind these garbage cans but that is only because I am waiting for you to see the surprise that I stayed up all night creating.

Your boss gives me an encouraging smile and two thumbs up as she slips into her office. She is a kind lady, and I’m glad to know that you work with such a good person. 

When I called her yesterday and explained the situation (which was hard for me to do because I had to admit to a complete stranger that I’m a horrible, stupid, selfish person) she had quickly agreed to be of any help that she could. She’d said that you had been acting miserable for quite a few days and she would be glad to do anything to cheer you up again. She’d even agreed to let me in before opening so that I could set up the surprise.

A quick glance at my watch shows that only forty-seven seconds have passed since the last time I looked which means that you should be walking in any moment. I feel queasy as I wait. The excitement is so overwhelming that I can literally feel myself shaking.

I cautiously peer around the edge of the can and my breath catches in my throat. You’re twenty feet away from me, closer than you have been in nearly two weeks, but it feels there might as well be an entire galaxy separating us.

I want to run to you. I want to wrap my arms around your waist and hold on tightly so that we never have to be apart again. But that would ruin the plan, so for this moment I have to settle for watching you.

Your sister was right. You certainly look more zombie than human with that faraway look upon your face and large dark circles under your eyes. Even your hair appears duller, washed out. Your shirt is on backwards underneath the red vest of your uniform. My heart physically aches when I see what I’ve done to you.

You disappear into the office to clock in. When you stagger back—a whole new wave of guilt drowns me when I realize that your confident swagger is missing from your steps—I hold my breath the closer you get to the booth. You’re staring down at your scuffed tennis shoes instead of straight ahead like you used to. If only you’d look up, then you’d see what I did for you. As it is, you don’t see anything out of the ordinary until you’ve stepped through the back door of the ticket booth.

You walk out and around to the front curiously with your head titled slightly to the side. It’s cute in a way that makes my chest feel warm and fuzzy.

“What’s going on?” I can barely hear you say from the distance between us. The sound of your voice almost brings tears to my eyes because I’ve missed you so much.

A yawn tries to escape, but I stifle it with a tired hand. Equal parts anticipation and fear pump through my veins more thickly than the blood until I think that my heart will surely stop beating from the two building up and creating a clog.

Your eyes widen as you realize what it is. The windows of the ticket booth are entirely covered in post-it notes. The post-it notes are entirely covered in everything that I love about you, in every happy memory that we’ve ever had together.

I leave my hiding spot and carefully walk up behind you, clutching the small square box in one hand and tapping you on the shoulder with the other. When you turn around there are tears in your eyes. You slap my shoulder half-heartedly and then squeeze me so tightly that I think you might have broken one of my ribs. I don’t care at all. With a shaking hand, I reach up and cup your face. Even like this you are still the most beautiful person I’ve ever known.

“I love you. I’ve loved you since the first day that we met, but I’ve been too stupid to say it.” Our lips touch briefly and I swear there are fireworks going off. “I love you so much that it hurts.”

You kiss me again once and then step away with a scowl on your face. I should have expected this. As caring as you’ve always been, you’ve never been a pushover.

“Why did let me go?”

That’s a difficult question to answer. I stumble over a response, trying desperately to ignore the fact that I my reasoning was completely idiotic. “I was afraid that you meant more to me than I meant to you, but at the same time, I thought that it would be best for you to find someone better than me…”

You lightly slap me on the head. “That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. It hardly even makes sense. Don’t you know how much I need you? How much we need each other?”

“I do now.”

You growl in frustration and then crash our mouths together. The way our lips fit against one another’s is a gift from heaven. Your tongue is pushing its way into my mouth like a foreign invader hell-bent on conquest, but I willingly surrender to you. Everything that I am is yours and I want you to know that.

I pull away for air and rest our foreheads together while we pant heavily. In the back of my mind I am aware of a growing crowd of spectators, but I don’t care about them. I don’t care about anyone but you.

Sliding down to one knee, I feel almost numb from too many emotions racing through my brain at once. This is it. Right now I will finally prove to you that I’m serious. You could say no and you might, especially after I broke us up. It would be nothing more than what I deserve. But I sincerely hope that you won’t turn me down. I think I might literally die from a broken heart if you did.

Your eyes are wide and bright as you stare down at me. Shock is the only expression on your face. My hand is unexpectedly steady as I hold the box out to you.

“All I’ve ever wanted was you. I know that I never said it. I know that I’ve been completely awful. But,” you gasp a little as I hold your hand. My mouth runs dry when I look up at you. “But if you marry me, I will spend every day for the rest of our lives making it up to you. I won’t ever let you think that I don’t love you more than anything else in this world. I;ll tell you every day. A hundred times every day. Please marry me?”

There’s nothing but silence for a solid two minutes. The crowd of people stares at us in anticipation, but I can feel their pity. They think you’re going to say no. But that’s crazy, right? I feel myself getting choked up the longer you don’t answer. Tears start to gather in my eyes and I blink them quickly away. My shoulders slump in defeat. I want to fall down to the floor and kick and scream like a child. I want to crawl into a hole and die. I just want to disappear completely and hope that this pain that is shooting through me will end my life quickly.

I begin to pull my hand away, my cheeks burning.

“Wait! I-If I say yes, then you’re not allowed to push me away again. Ever.”

My throat burns and the ability to speak seems to have abandoned me, so I nod quickly in agreement. Is this a dream?

“And we’ll need to have a long engagement so that we can try to work out some of your insecurity issues.”

“Okay,” I manage to choke out hoarsely.

A brilliant smile lights up your face. It is so dazzling that I almost feel the need to look away, but instead I bask in the warmth of it. I haven’t seen that smile in so long that I would gladly melt into a puddle just to stare at it all day.

“Well? Are you going to put the ring on?” You wave your hand happily. I laugh and do as you say. Once I’ve slowly slid the ring into to place, you don’t even bother to look at it before pulling me to my feet and kissing me breathless.

The people surrounding us clap enthusiastically. Your boss pats you on the shoulder and says you can take the day off while our lips are still attached. After a few minutes we’re both feeling a little breathless. You pull away and rest our foreheads together again.

“I love you.”

My heart feels close to bursting right out of my chest from the happiness that those words elicit. My own response becomes easier and easier to say. I am appalled at my reluctance to say it before when it feels so perfect slipping off my tongue now.

“I love you too.”