Your eyes slowly fluttered open as a bright light shined into your face. You groaned and shifted in your bed so that the glare from the window. Your eyes trailed to your alarm clock and you sighed.

It was 9 AM.

Your eyes drooped. If it was only a month ago, at this time, you would be at SM, training like you had been for years now.

That was the exact same thing you thought every morning.

While most people are more than happy to have their summer break, you wanted nothing more than to have school start again. It would give you a distraction from just sitting at home all day, thinking about how a month you ago you would be-

Buzzzzzzzz. Buzzzzzzzz.

Your phone vibrated on your nightstand and you extended and arm and picked it up, bringing it in front of you.

Lu han’s name lit up on the screen and you sighed.

He called you everyday, and everyday you rejected his call.

You couldn’t speak to him. You knew he was hurt, probably angry too, with you for leaving. And that’s why you couldn’t speak to him. You couldn’t listen to him say how bad of a decision it was because you didn’t want to regret. You didn’t want to think about how it would have been if you had continued. It would hurt too much and you didn’t want to regret.

The phone eventually stopped vibrating and you sighed in relief. After a few minutes, you got up and got ready for the day.

It was noon now and you were having your lunch while watching your favorite show: Running Man. You laughed at a joke that the nation’s MC, Yoo Jae Suk, made just as the doorbell rang at your apartment.

You lived alone since your parents lived in Busan. To train you had moved up to Seoul and had been on your own since you had left.

“Who is it?” You called as you walked up to the door in confusion. You hadn’t been expecting anyone.

The doorbell rang again and you unlocked it, swinging the door open.

Your eyes widened in surprise and you felt your heart pick up speed.

“L-Lu ha oppa?” Your voice was quiet and obviously shocked.

Lu han stood at your doorstep, a grave expression on his face while his eyes were lit up with anger.

“_____.” He spoke your name bitterly. “You weren’t answering your phone.”

You sputtered a lie, not able to think clearly, “I-I lost it!”

Lu han blinked at you and then sighed. “It’s in your hand.”

You looked down to see he was right. You couldn’t look back up at him. You felt him walk closer to you as you stared down at your hand.

“I missed you.” Lu han sighed as his arms wrapped around your stiff body. “I haven’t see you for a month.”

You pulled back from his hug, “What are you doing here?”

A flash of hurt shadowed over him before he composed his expression. “I came to talk to you. You were ignoring my calls so I had no choice…”

You were quiet again, staring at him now.

“Why?” Lu han whispered. “Why did you leave? You promised me you would never give up, and you left.”

You gulped, tears b your eyes. “I was tired, oppa. That day where everything would be better… it’s too far away. I don’t even know if it’s coming. And I was tired. I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m done.” You turned around and began walking back into your apartment.

“So you gave up?” His voice made you stop. “When things got hard you stopped?”

You looked down. “I couldn’t do it anymore, oppa. I just wanted it all to stop. I’m not good enough to debut. I should have realized that before.”

“You…” Lu han walked forward so he was right behind you. “You are more than amazing. You can sing, you can dance, you are perfect. That day… it is closer than you think, ______.”

“How do you know?” You asked softly.

Lu han placed a hand on your shoulder and spun you around.

“_____.” He explained slowly, staring into your eyes. “I’ve known you for years now. Don’t I mean anything to you?”

Your eyes widened. “O-Of course! Why would you think otherwise?”

Lu han softened, “If you care for me, then don’t stop. Keep training. You don’t have to come to SM if you don’t want to. You can train from here. I can help you. I can coach you on singing and dancing… I’m not that great but I can at least try to help you.”

You sighed, slowly shaking your head, “Oppa, I-“

“Don’t.” He whispered, cutting you off. You looked up at him. “Don’t say no, please. If you care for me, then don’t.”

You were silent for a moment. “Oppa, you are an idol. You have schedules and you are probably returning to China soon and-“

“I’ll make time. Even if I have to lose sleep or whatever. I’ll be here.” Lu han cut you off.

“No.” You shook your head. “I could never ask you to do that. You need rest, oppa, you need to practice yourself with your members and-“

He cut you off once more, “You aren’t asking me to. I’m doing this on my own. I want to. I will do even if you beg me not to.”

“But what about you?” You said, exasperated. “Why are you doing this oppa? Why can’t you just leave me be?”
 

Lu han softened, staring at you. “Because…” he took a deep breath, “_____, I-“

Buzzzzzz. Buzzzzzzz.

You looked at Lu han’s jacket pocket, where his phone was vibrating. He let out a silent groan and took it out, staring at the screen. He frowned, his brows furrowing before he stopped it from vibrating and put it away.

You stared at him and sighed, “I can’t stop you, can I?”

Lu han smiled softly and shook his head.

“Fine, oppa. I’ll do it.” As soon as the words left your mouth Lu han grinned widely and let out a childish chuckle.

“Thank you!” He sighed, enveloping you into another hug and this time you didn’t pull away.

“Only for you, oppa,” you rolled your eyes, “Only for you.”