[Chapter 25: Fear]

*** *** ***

Jiyong walked leisurely down the street, enjoying the touch of the cool breeze against his skin. He hadn’t been much into walking at first, since he was used to driving around wherever he went, but Dara obviously liked it and he was beginning to see why. There was something calming about taking a slow stroll. He took a quick glance at his watch, and slowed his pace upon realizing that he was still early. Dara wouldn’t get off work till half an hour later, and he didn’t really want to wait around too early – she always seemed to get overly excited whenever he was around and end up breaking a few dishes.

The path was strewn with fallen leaves in shades of auburn and red, coloring the ground with its vibrancy. It was autumn, the time of the year when everything was beautiful. Seungri even calls it the season of love, because it was that time of the year when you could always find couples lingering around the streets, happily creating memories of their own amidst the sea of auburn leaves.

A small, amused grin flitted across Jiyong’s face as he raised his eyes, catching sight of lovebirds all around him, young and old. There, right across the street, was a young couple – they must be nowhere older than high school, Jiyong guessed, as he watched them frolic around the puddle of leaves on the ground, playfully throwing bunches of leaves at each other as though they didn’t have a single care in the world. His smile widened as he watched them, realizing that he actually envied how carefree they were.

That was what youth ought to be like – the age to live, laugh and fall in love.

He envied the young ones; he personally never had a chance to experience all that freedom, but it was nice to actually see how things could have been.

He turned to his left when he heard the slight shuffling of feet, and found himself standing before an elderly couple, both gray and wizened with age. They were tiny against Jiyong’s tall frame as they passed by him, both of them inches below his shoulder. Dressed in matching parkas, they walked together, slowly yet comfortably keeping along a pace only they knew. The old man kept a hand on his walking stick, and another carefully around his wife. No words were exchanged between them as they walked along, yet Jiyong could see the sweet tenderness that they shared. They held each other, supporting each other through every step as they have had for more than half their lives.

It was heartwarming, really, and Jiyong found himself wondering if his future would ever hold such a scene. His heart secretly longed for it; for a special someone to share the rest of his life with, to have children of their own, and grow old together. There was a short pause before he started to chuckle softly to himself. He had just noticed the absurdity of his thoughts – If Top or Seungri were ever to find out about this, they definitely wouldn’t miss the chance to brand him a softie.

He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans, and continued on his way towards the café. His mind quickly strayed to Dara, and the thought of being able to see her in just a short while brought a shadow of a smile onto his face. The smile flickered though, when memories of what had happened earlier that day played in his mind. He frowned at the memory, his lips turning downwards into a slight snarl. He was pretty pissed at himself, to say the least.

He should have said something to shut Seungri up, but no, he had let her struggle to fend the retard off by herself while he silently stewed by the side. A deep sigh escaped from his throat – he remembered how flustered she had been while trying to fuse the rumors, and he had only himself to blame for putting her in such a situation. He hated to admit it, but Seungri was right – he didn’t have the guts to ask her to be his woman.

It was something he had been mulling over for quite some time now, yet time and time again he had allowed this comfortable ambiguity to reign over his rationality. It was easy to look away from the problem at hand and pretend like everything was fine, but he had forgotten that the time would come when he would have no choice but to face it.

He had never been in a proper relationship with anyone. Contrary to Seungri’s immature assumption, it wasn’t because he didn’t dare to pop the question. It was because he never thought it was possible for someone like him. People died everyday in his line, and having a family or a loved one was a burden that he didn’t wish to carry along with him. There was nothing more vulnerable that a man with a weakness, and Jiyong hated being affiliated to such vulnerability. Furthermore, he had become an empty shell ever since his brother’s death, and he had never thought he would be capable of loving someone.

At least, not till Dara came along and turned his entire world upside down.

His feet came to a stop upon reaching a familiar place, and he looked up. There she was, busily flitting from table to table, looking ever as radiant even in her apron and messy hair. Jiyong breathed in deeply as he watched her, feeling a familiar rush of warmth grip at his heart.

Promises of happily-ever afters, of marriage and a baseball team full of children…

As simple as they were, they weren’t Jiyong’s to offer. He couldn’t promise a future, he couldn’t promise to marry her, and neither could he promise to give her a life of eternal happiness. He couldn’t promise to make her the happiest woman on earth, and he definitely couldn’t promise to bring her on trips all around the world, or to dote and fawn on her with pretty gifts the way other boyfriends would. He couldn’t even promise to be able to bring her on normal dates like any other couple along the streets.

No. Given the position he was in, there was nothing he could promise her.

All he could promise, was to love her, and to protect her from whatever that may come their way.

That was all he, Kwon Jiyong, could offer to the woman he loved.

And he wondered, as he watched her with the sound of his heartbeat pounding in his ears, if that was enough to make her stay by the side of a man as wretched as he was.

*** *** ***

The bar was abuzz with a constant flow of orders, nothing surprising given that it was your usual Friday night crowd. Doojoon, the resident bartender, raised a knowing eyebrow at the man who sat in front of him, and placed what was perhaps the third glass before him.

“Here’s another gin & tonic for my lovesick buddy.” He announced, purposely ignoring the annoyed growl that he had received in response. “Consider this on the house.”

Doojoon grinned as he gave his buddy a light comforting thump on the shoulder, then hurried away to the other side of the counter to meet another rush of orders. Top stared at the glass of alcohol before him, then sighed and reached for it. The heady scent of his all-time favorite drink hit his senses, and he downed it all in one shot. It burned his throat and left his insides flaming, but he enjoyed the sensation. If anything, it actually distracted him from whatever was on his mind and made him feel better.

He sighed when the burning sensation began to ebb away, and lifted his head to look around for Doojoon once again. He frowned when he realized that the guy was nowhere in sight. He was probably busy filling orders or chatting up some sweet young thing by the counter. This was why he hated coming over on Friday nights. But then again, there was no other bar that offered greater comfort than Doojoon’s place.

Doojoon was one of them, or at least, he had been one of them. He had grown up alongside Top, Jiyong and Seungri, and had trained to work under the clan just like the rest of them. In fact, the man had been one of the toughest fighters among them – even Jiyong often had a hard time when it came to sparring against him. But a drug deal gone wrong had left Doojoon with a ruptured tendon after a bullet pierced right through his thigh, and ever since then, the man had never been the same. He walked with a permanent limp, and was never able to fight again - a harsh truth that Doojoon’s pride could never live down given the strong fighter he once was. Without the ability to fight, he was no longer an asset to the organization, and Godfather had given him the option to leave. Between that and the thought of remaining as a useless burden to the clan, Doojoon had taken the former.

In Doojoon’s own words though, at least the turn of events had given him the peace that he had been waiting for all his life. He now owned his own bar and grill, and had since made a name for himself in the business for serving up some of the best cocktails and mixes. His days were simple and routine, but at least he didn’t have to spend every waking moment fearing for his life. He finally had the peace and normalcy he wanted, though of course, it came at a really high price.

Top stared at his phone, his eyes never leaving the message that Jiyong had sent him earlier that day. ‘I’m sorry.’ the message said. Just two words, but those two words had been enough to drive Top to hop into his car and head straight over to the bar, in need for some healing. Jiyong wasn’t one to express his feelings, and Top understood what kind of turmoil he had undergone before deciding to follow his heart and pursue Dara. He even understood how difficult it must have been for Jiyong to apologize, and could imagine how long the guy had spent trying to come up with the best way to do so, before realizing there were no words to be said apart from a simple ‘sorry’.

‘That was how far their friendship went, and how well they knew each other.

So Top was pissed, not at Jiyong, but at himself. He was angry, angry at himself for not being able to feel happy for his best friend. After all these years, Jiyong had finally stepped out of his shell; he had finally met that special someone with the ability to warm his frozen soul and breathe some life back into him once again. And as a friend, he ought to be happy for him, shouldn’t he.

So what was this nagging ache that seemed to be clawing at him from within? Top frowned and closed his eyes, willing that feeling to fade away. Jealousy? Was that it? He had always known that Dara thought of him as nothing more than a friend, and had always believed himself to be able to walk away gallantly. Heck, he was the one who had told her that he was more than content to just be her friend. And that was the truth – he wanted her to be there for Jiyong. He could see that they were made for each other, and he wanted things to remain that way. Now, if only he could get his own heart to understand what his mind had been repeating so many countless times. 

Finally catching Doojoon’s eye, Top pointed at his empty glass and motioned for the guy to bring another over. In the midst of his bout of self-berating, he hadn’t noticed the lady who had quietly slipped into the seat beside him. At least, not till she stopped him from downing his fourth glass of gin & tonic.

Top stared, wide-eyed in surprise, as his glass got yanked away from his unsuspecting hands. He turned to the side, and reeled a little when he finally caught sight of Bom sitting right beside him. The initial surprise gave way to sheer annoyance, which was his common reaction to the sight of her, and he grumpily sent an unappreciative glare in her direction.

“What are you doing here? Did you follow me all the way from school?”

He growled, moving his seat backwards a little in a bid to create some distance between the both of them.

Bom downed the glass of alcohol that she had snatched over in one shot, much to Top’s chagrin, and cheerily wiped with the back of her hand.

“Yup! Thank goodness I happened to be driving today, or I wouldn’t have been able to catch up with you.”

Not realizing the rising sheen of irritation on Top’s face, or perhaps simply choosing to ignore it, Bom swiveled around in the chair such that she was now facing Top. She beamed at him, completely disregarding the fact that he wasn’t at all glad about her presence.

“But I must say this is a nice place! I can see why you chose to come here and drown your sorrow in alcohol,” Bom quipped as she observed the surroundings, nodding in approval at the bar’s interior décor. “It’s simple, but it’s not too bad.”

“I was not drowning my sorrow in alcohol.”

Top stated, teeth gritted. He frowned darkly, feeling frustration building up within him in waves. The girl had the uncanny ability to annoy him, and she was the last person he wanted to see. Seriously, just when he thought his day couldn’t get any worse – guess someone up there was just out to prove to him that it still could.

“Really? But you seem pretty down to me.”

Top glared at Bom, who didn’t seem to give a heck about shooting her smart mouth off. He exhaled loudly, cursing under his breath while frantically motioning for Doojoon to bring another drink over. He desperately needed another drink to calm his rising nerves.

“Who’s this pretty lady?” Doojoon remarked, reaching over the counter to extend a friendly hand to Bom. Top rolled his eyes at his friend’s lack of taste and chose not to reply, simply bringing the glass to his lips and taking a large swig of its contents. Bom took Doojoon’s hand and shook it enthusiastically, gracing him with a bright smile.

“I’m Park Bom. I’m trying to be nice to this depressed man over here, but he seems to really hate me.”

To say that Top was irritated was an understatement. Flames were beginning to build in his eyes as he turned to the girl and glared, the corners of his lips turning into an unkind sneer.

“Will you just get the hell out of my sight?”

Bom stared at him for a moment, her eyes wide. A rush of satisfaction surged through Top as he saw uncertainty flicker in her eyes, convinced that she would probably be rushing home to cry and wail to her doting friends or parents anytime soon. He wouldn’t hold that beneath her, given how much of a prissy princess she was. But he was soon proven wrong when she tore her eyes away from his, and shifted back to face the counter. Shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly, she grinned at Doojoon and pointed a limp finger at Top.

“See, I told you he hates me.”

Doojoon chuckled in amusement, then broke out into a louder peal of laughter when he caught sight of his buddy’s completely dark expression. There was obvious tension between the two, and he wasn’t about to get his involved in this mess.

“I’ll leave you two to settle your own issues, but Bom-“ Doojoon glanced at Bom, and gave her a quick wink. “I’m leaving my depressed buddy in your care.”

A loud snarl erupted from Top, but Doojoon was laughing too hard to care. He turned away from the quibbling couple, and headed back into the crowd.

The counter fell silent the moment Doojoon left. Top took another swig at his glass, oblivious to how Bom was watching his every move from the side. He ignored her presence, choosing to focus on what he had come here for – to get a few drinks, and to get his thoughts straightened out. But he soon realized that it was almost impossible to get some peace when she was staring at him so openly the whole time.

He turned towards her, his eyes in slits as he eyed her. She had a habit of following him around all this while, and though Top had taken it in his stride to treat Dara’s good friends as one of them, he really couldn’t stand the way she was constantly lingering around him. It had taken all of his self-control to still treat her courteously this whole time, despite being utterly annoyed. He knew she had a thing for him – he had guessed it a long time ago. To be honest, it didn’t take much for Top to guess, anyone could tell the girl had the hots for him just by watching the way she looked at him.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve told you before that you’re not my type.”

He stated matter-of-factly, his eyes boring straight into hers.

Bom blinked, slightly taken aback by the force of his words and his tone, but tried to maintain her composure. Indeed, he had told her that before, quite some time ago. She hadn’t realized that he had known about her feelings till that fateful day when he slammed it straight in her face, and the scar was still rather fresh. She winced at the memory, but quickly tried to mask it by forcing a grin onto her face. Playfully shrugging her shoulders, she took a sip of her drink and smiled.

“Yes you did.”

Top frowned at her aloofness. This didn’t seem to be the very same girl who had instantly burst into tears back then when he honestly told her what he thought about her.

“You’re wasting your time here. The only reason why I even bother to talk to you is because you’re a friend of Dara’s. So you being here won’t change a thing, and it definitely won’t change the fact that I have no interest in you at all.”

He wasn’t usually this harsh with girls, regardless of how much they annoyed him. Especially not when they were friends of Dara’s. In fact, he’s forced himself to be courteous, polite and tolerant of Bom all this time for the very fact that she was Dara’s closest friend, but he really wasn’t in the mood to stick by his principles of being a gentleman today. Well, blame it on Bom’s luck then, for running into him when he was in one of his least tolerant moods. She was the one who had come searching for trouble, and he was more than ready to give it to her.

Bom felt her chest hitch when she heard his words. The corners of her lips quivered as she struggled to keep her smile. She quickly lowered her head to take a sip of her drink, taking the chance to calm herself down.

“Arrogant as usual, aren’t you.” An airy chuckle floated from Bom’s lips. She smirked at him, her eyes taunting. “Well, time for a reality check my boy. Times have changed and as of now, you’re not my type either. In fact, you’re far from it.”

Cold silence settled between them. Deciding that he’s put up with enough for the day and wasn’t intending to ruin his already bad night any further, Top downed the remaining contents of his glass and grabbed his jacket. He saw no point in staying here and wasting his time on someone who did nothing but infuriate him with her sheer presence. He stood up from his seat, and turned to leave.

“Top...”

He stopped in his tracks when he heard his name. He exhaled deeply, waiting for her to complete whatever she wanted to say. Consider this his last remaining shred of gentlemanly nobleness before he stalks off for some fresh air.

“Can’t we just be friends?”

Her tone was soft, and she almost sounded like she was pleading. He turned around slowly to face her, eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the sudden change in her tone. His lips were still downturned in a slight frown as he watched her.

Bom sighed, then smiled softly at him. “Look, I know you don’t like me, and to be honest, I’m not a fan of your attitude either. But can’t we just be civil with each other? Truth be told, Dara’s worried about you, and that’s why she sent me here to watch over you and make sure you’re okay.”

Top’s ears pricked up at the mention of Dara’s name. The pent-up annoyance that he had been feeling all day slowly subsided as Bom’s words sank into his mind.

“She sent you?”

Bom nodded in response. She didn’t really trust herself to say much more, not when the lie tasted so bitter in . The look in Top’s eyes was priceless, she thought to herself whilst observing the way he immediately relaxed upon hearing Dara’s name. Just too bad that tenderness wasn’t for her.

Top shuffled his feet around, suddenly not too sure of how to respond. He fidgeted slightly, then looked up to face Bom again. “Well, I’m fine. Really. So you can leave now and yeah, just tell her I’m fine.”

“What, you’re not even going to give Dara some face by spending just a bit more time with me?” Bom forced a touch of disdain into her voice, though that was probably one of the last few emotions she could ever bring herself to feel when it came to Top. “It’s too early for me to go back and see her now – she’ll probably think I’m calling a bluff and skiving instead of carrying out my duty of making sure her good friend, namely you, is completely fine.”

She took a sip of her drink and tilted her head towards the empty seat beside her, indicating that she wanted him to sit down. “I’m just doing this because Dara feels guilty towards you, and I want to help lessen her burden. Don’t you want her to feel better too?”

After what seemed like ages to her, Top finally plopped down back onto his seat. He sighed, wearily running a hand through his hair as he threw another irritated glance at her.

“Fine. But just for Dara.”

Bom grinned, then reached over, softly clinking her glass against his.“Just for Dara.”

*** *** ***

“It’s been a long time since I last received any updates from you, K.” The Godfather’s tone was light, but everyone knew better than to take that too literally. Beneath those sugar-coated words lay the wrath of a man who never hesitated in punishing those who failed him. “I assume everything has been going well?”

“Of course, Godfather. Have I ever failed you?”

The agent named K replied in an icy tone that could easily rival the Godfather’s. K had left a strong legacy before vanishing without a trace years ago, and had not been in action all this time. No one really knew what had happened back then, and most didn’t dare to even talk about it. Ever since then, K’s name had been taboo in the clan, and some of the younger ones even believed it to be nothing more than a myth left behind by some of the older clan members. But it was no myth. K was real, and to have K back was no doubt a sign that something major was brewing in the clan; and some of the lower-ranked men who stood guard in the room couldn’t help but feel intimidated by the legend’s return.

A satisfied smirk graced the Godfather’s face as he watched the child before him. How could he have forgotten all about this precious child? Jiyong was no doubt a prized trophy, carefully selected from the shelves of countless young children that he had raised and trained all these years, but in no way was K inferior to him. No, he had seen this child in action before, and if there was anyone who held a chance against Kwon Jiyong, it was K.

“Have you found him?”

 “We’ve tracked him down. He’s in California for now.”

The godfather’s eyes glinted in delight at the piece of news. He nodded approvingly, before raising a questioning eyebrow.

“What are your plans?”

His question was greeted with a short silence. When K finally spoke though, it was with such chilling determination that the rest of the people in the room couldn’t help but tense in trepidation.

“I’ll kill him. Then I’ll kill his baby sister. And, next in line,” K laughed, an unsettling sound that hung in the air and left the room frozen in its sheer evilness. “…would be your precious son.”

The godfather snapped up, his beady eyes sharp all of a sudden as they narrowed into tiny slits. His expression darkened, and his lips turned into a deep frown.

“You are not to kill Jiyong. Bring him to me alive.”

The room fell silent. Tension hung in the air as the two stared at each other, both not wanting to back down. The onlookers gaped, quietly absorbing the bits of confidential information and trying to figure out just what was going to happen to the clan. Never in all their years of servitude have they seen someone go against the Godfather the way K just did, and it scared them.

“You will not defy my orders, K.”

The Godfather broke the silence, his voice stern and unyielding.

“As you wish, Godfather.”

K sneered, before dipping into a low, respectful bow and turning to exit the room.

The godfather exhaled deeply, his eyes never leaving the disappearing backview of the child that he had once understood so well. And yet, things did seem to change with time. Suspicion laced his thoughts as he watched the door close; suspicion that this child that he had so lovingly nurtured has since changed into someone he no longer knew.

“Psy,” He called out to one of his most trusted right-hand men suddenly. The man named Psy snapped to attention, and responded with a deep bow. “Did I do the right thing by bringing K back?”

Psy exchanged a deep knowing glance with the Godfather, and frowned in concern. It was a question that he didn’t know how to answer. Back then, when he had first heard of the Godfather’s decision, he too had been in full support of it. After all, he had been around when the child had been brought into the clan, alongside Jiyong and a few others. They all came in around the same time, and it didn’t take long for the adults to see that among them all, K, Jiyong, and Jiyong’s late brother were the three that held the greatest potential. Back in those days, there was already much talk and deliberation as to who would eventually step up to succeed the clan.

So when Jiyong turned against them, their very first thought was to find the one person who was on par with him, and that was K. But it didn’t take long for them to see that K was no longer the same child. In the past few years, K had changed to become dangerous, so much more dangerous than any of the clan members had possibly imagined. So much so that Psy no longer knew if they had done the right thing in bringing K back.

“I’m not sure, Boss. But we’ll have to be careful from now on.”

*** *** ***

Yay managed to get another update out! Are you guys proud of me? ;)

Anyway, thanks for all the lovely comments! And guess what, the number of subscribers for this story has officially crossed the 280 mark! Thank you everyone, I can't even tell you how much your support means to me haha. Never ever in my dreams did I expect to have this many subscribers, and I still find it hard to believe that so many of you here actually like whatever I'm writing :)

 I'll keep trying my best to make this a good story! So once again, thank you guys, for everything :)