Seungri confronted him a few times but, they only managed to exchange bitter words and Ji Yong was worried they would never get over this. It wasn't because of their friendship, it was about the group. It would be as big as a miracle if they would be able to become friends again. After what happened between them it is no surprise. People in similar situations would never look at each other again; Seungri and Ji Yong however couldn’t do that. Their band required them to see each other and the tension was evident at least that’s what Ji Yong felt. Seungri left Ji Yong feeling so bitter; he didn't think their friendship would be able to be reconstructed.

While he had been avoiding Seungri, who disappeared to Japan, he had also been hanging out with Seung Hyun as friends. Being close to him like they had once been was amazing but, he couldn't help but want more. Ji Yong knew better this time; he wasn't willing to step outside of their friendship as much as he wanted to. He was afraid that stepping outside their friendship would mess up their relationship beyond repair.  Seeing what happened between him and Seungri; he wouldn't be able to live if the same happened between him and Seung Hyun. He loved Seung Hyun and that was so clear to him that it scared him.

His phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and it was Jong Hoon. He and Ji Yong had become very good friends. Although they didn't meet too often; they talked to each other on the phone. Conversations about how life was going and their hardships brought them together.

"Are you sure it's okay?" Jong Hoon asked.

“Of course you said you were feeling down and as a friend I should cheer you up,"

“Alright then I'll meet you there."

He was going to the club with Seung Hyun and Young Bae. When Jong Hoon said he was feeling down he invited him. Hopefully that would cheer him up.

He dressed his best unable to convince himself that he shouldn't worry about what Seung Hyun would think about his outfit. Black pants a dress shirt and a jacket. He styled his hair the best he could.

………………………………………………..

“Hello,” Jong Hoon greeted as Ji Yong took a gulp of his drink.

“Good to see you Jong Hoon,” Ji Yong said as he gave him a hug. “Guys, I invited Jong Hoon I hope you don’t mind.”

Young Bae stood to greet Jong Hoon with a smile. Seung Hyun hesitated before standing and greeting Jong Hoon politely. The smile he had been wearing since he saw Ji Yong was gone. Jealously boiled in Seung Hyun even though; Ji Yong had already clarified the situation between him and Jong Hoon.

"Come on Ji Yong come with me to the bar." Jong Hoon said after a short while of sitting at their table waiting for a waitress to pass by.

"Sure” Ji Yong responded. He really didn't want to go. He wanted to sit with Seung Hyun while Young Bae danced to his heart's content, but he invited Jong Hoon and it would be rude not to go. He wanted to ask what Seung Hyun happened. Why he turned quiet when everything was fine a while ago? He thought he would have his chance to ask once Jong Hoon went to dance but, he didn’t.

Once they reached the bar Jong Hoon leaned towards him and yelled over the music. “Ji Yong, Ji Yong, I see your doing well, I wish I could move on as quickly."

“What do you mean?"

“Well judging by the way you look at him, you like Seung Hyun, right? And by the way he looks at me he loves you."

“what do you mean looks at you?"

“Are you playing dumb or do you really not see the way he looks at me."

Ji Yong looked towards Seung Hyun but, at the moment Seung Hyun was staring down into his glass.

"Fine, if you don't see it. Then just do what I say and, I'll tell you how he reacts ok."

 Ji Yong didn't want to but, he was curious as to how Seung Hyun would react.

“Smile and act like you’re whispering in my ear,” Jong Hoon asked of Ji Yong while he took the drink he ordered from the counter.

Ji Yong did.

“Only take a quick glance when I say you can ok"

“I don't even know why I'm doing this,” Ji Yong said as he pretended to laugh, “what are you getting at?"

"Look now”

Ji Yong did; Seung Hyun’s eyebrows were knitted together and the grasp on his glass was tightened.  He was upset, Ji Yong could tell.

“Wrap your arm around me"

The smile Ji Yong had been wearing fell for a moment before he was able to pull himself together, “Don’t you think that’s too much?” Ji Yong did it anyways.

Jong Hoon shook with laughter as he leaned forward on the bars counter, "I can practically see my death in his eyes. Who knew this would happen by you putting your arm around me. "

"What," Ji Yong turned to stare straight into Seung Hyun’s angry eyes; he immediately regretted what he was doing.  "I -I don't want to do this anymore Jong Hoon, he might really misunderstand."

"I know, I know, let's stop it’s not like I want to die tonight, I want to live. Let’s dance with girls today. You’re supposed to cheer me up remember," Jong Hoon said letting out a sigh at the end."

“You’re not over him are you?"

Jong Hoon remained silent for a while, "I guess not. I wish it could be easier, I wish I could forget everything; the good and the bad."

Ji Yong gave him a playfully slap on the back, "Cheer up and let's go find girls to dance with."

The dance floor was hot; Bodies rubbing on each other. Girls around Ji Yong grinded into him and he did his best to ignore that little voice in his head that told him to stop. That told him the only one he wanted was Seung Hyun. The voice that told him Seung Hyun was most likely watching.  Seung Hyun knew he was gay anyways. These Girls they meant nothing, they made him feel nothing. One them firmly placed her hand behind Ji Yong's neck and brought his face down to her level; kissing him until he loosened his lips. Ji Yong closed his eyes picturing Seung Hyun and suddenly the kiss wasn't so bad. But that same picture reminded Ji Yong that Seung Hyun was watching him shove his tongue down some girl’s throat, it made him feel sick to his stomach the moment he processed that thought. He pulled away and looked towards Seung Hyun at their table. He wasn’t there and Ji Yong’s heart sank. He didn’t bother telling Young Bae or Jong Hoon that he was leaving he just left. He searched around on his way out but didn’t find him until he went out the back door. He was standing there a cigarette in one hand and his lighter in the other.

Ji Yong stood next to him until Seung Hyun broke the silence.

“Go away Ji Yong”

“No, Hyung I want to be right here, with you.”

It was as if that was the end of their conversation but it wasn’t.

“I told you not to call me Hyung I don’t want to be you Hyung,” Seung Hyun’s voice seemed exhausted but gradually became louder. “I told you how I felt Ji. If you don’t feel the same, fine, but don’t ing play with my feelings.”

“Hyung what are you talking about? Those girls they meant noth…..”

“I said don’t call me Hyung! Do you realize how much it hurts! Why do you insist on calling me that?” Ji Yong jumped when Seung Hyun started yelling but  his voice softened and Ji Yong could see he felt insecure, “Can you really not see me as anything more than your Hyung? You kissed her Ji. You kissed her in front of me.”

“y-you know I’m gay Seung Hyun, that kiss, it meant nothing.”

“You didn’t have to kiss her, not in front of me. I stopped hiding Ji Yong need you to do the same. Be clear about your feelings don’t give me false hope and then bring around someone else whether it be a man or a woman.”

Ji Yong knew what he meant by ‘a man’, “you know I’m… I told you there’s nothing between me and Jong Hoon.

“Then why do you act like there is, I’ll wait for you Ji, I love you but, I’m not going to sit and watch as you hug and whisper to another man, and I’m not going to watch as you rub yourself against some random girl and kiss her.”
 Ji Yong looked down at his feet. When he invited Jong Hoon he wasn’t expecting Seung Hyun to react like this but, he also wasn’t planning on putting on the act he did. He could understand why Seung Hyun would be angry he felt guilty and disgusted by his own actions.

“Ji Yong if I have no chance then let me know. Tell me if there is no chance of you loving me.”

“I –I,” this is Ji Yong’s chance to end this, his chance to stop this hope of maybe him and Seung Hyun being together, this hope that threatens their friend ship. He should take it right away but he hesitates. “I don’t think it will work out.”

 “That’s not what I asked you.” Seung Hyun says as he drops his cigarette in the ground; stepping on it as he walks closer to Ji Yong, “do I have a chance? Is it possible for you to love me?”

 Ji Yong answers again, his eyes on the ground unable to stop himself from nervously playing with his fingers," I don’t, I don’t love you,"

 Lying to Seung Hyun is not an easy task it hurts.  Ji Yong's chest aches and he holds his breath expecting Seung Hyun to walk away.

"You're lying" Seung Hyun says as he steps closer to Ji Yong. His face is so near Ji Yong can feel his breath Ji Yong can feel his eyes studying him.

"If you didn't love me you wouldn't be here."

" I-I don't" Ji Yong quietly says with his eyes glued to the ground and his heart caught in his throat, not sure if the two words are of any use now that he's been caught.

“You’re lying, you love me,” he sounds so confident in those words it makes Ji Yong even more nervous than he already is.

“Seung Hyun, stop this; you're my friend why are making things more complicated..."

"You looked me in the eyes the night you said you loved me.”

Only silence follows until Seung Hyun breaks it.

“What, did you think I wouldn't remember? At first I thought you said it out of pity but you can't even look me in the eye now. If you don't love me then look me in the eye and say it. Look me in the eye like you did that night and then I will believe you."

Ji Yong stayed silent to afraid to say anything.  Seung Hyun gave a bitter laugh realizing he wasn’t going to get an answer from Ji Yong.

 He started to walk away but, Ji Yong held on to his arm. Not daring to look at him, " If you already know, why do you ask, why do you do this when you know it won't work."

 With that Ji Yong walked back into the club, his heart racing after confessing even if it wasn't really a confession. He needed Seung Hyun to know that even though he loves him, they can't be together."

A/N: I'm sorry I haven't updated, this chapter isn't great but, I need to get this story going. Love you all <3